Peter: You Know, Scott Was Like A Brother To Me.

Peter: You know, Scott was like a brother to me.

Jubilee: *from a distance* Sweet home Alabama…

Jean: So how’s life treating you?

Scott: Well, you know, I’m at a middle school dance with your brother as my date.

Jean: So nothing’s changed?

Peter: Bye everyone.

Peter: *kisses Scott and leaves the room*

Everyone: … 

Jean: What just happened?

Kurt: Did Peter just kiss you?

Scott: *stares at them* I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Jubilee: Peter just kissed you!

Scott: *shakes his head* You people are delusional.

Scott: *leaves room*

Kurt: I’m so confused.

Jubilee: Same.

Erik: I know I’m a jerk with no morals, but lately, these idiots have been really close to surpassing me

*camera zooms out to reveal Jean burning down a house while Peter plays heavy metal over Scott and Warren’s satanic chanting*

Erik: Even I can do better than that.

Scott: Last month I lost my boyfriend, Pietro.

Pietro: *from the other room* Stop telling people that I’m dead! 

Scott: Some times it’s like I can still hear his voice.

Jean: Admit it! You like my boyfriend.

Pietro: Oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to Scott? Sure. Do my days feel better when I’m around him? Yeah. Does he get me in ways no one ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about him? Yes, but only in two positions. Look, am I the kind of person who would try to steal someone else’s boyfriend? Sure, of course, but do I like him? 

Pietro: *pauses*

Pietro: The answer’s no.