State Of Grace

State of Grace

Pairing: Han Jisung x reader

Genre: Fluff - Friends to Lovers

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: You’re a musician who has written State of Grace (full creds to Taylor) and have called upon your friend Chan to help record it, but he brings a couple of others along to the studio.

Word Count: 2,384

A/N - Hey! This is my first post, mind that it's kind of half-written, but eh

A/N (2?) - I thought of this whilst listening to Taylor's State of Grace, though I have butchered one line in this to fit the idea

‘Han?’ you muttered, repeating the name as though it might ease the process of understanding just what was being said. ‘Han is coming to the studio?’

Chan didn’t so much as glance over his shoulder, he simply nodded his head, too busy with adjusting the buttons and switches laid out before him.

‘Right,’ you sighed and you almost laughed out loud because that was just fucking typical.

This simply wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Han wasn’t meant to witness you recording what was essentially a confession. What you’d wanted was time - time to decide whether you were going to share the song at all and if you were, it was going to be a tape, packaged up with love, meant for his ears and his ears only. Whatever plan you’d had, however, was slipping through your fingers. And worst of all, you couldn’t even be angry with Chan - maybe he had some inkling of your interest in Jisung, but he’d only invited him and Changbin to help with the recording process and his generosity had only your own interests in mind.

The thought of hurrying into the recording booth to begin before Jisung and Changbin might arrive was equally short-lived as the studio door was unlatched and those in question walked in. Changbin entered first and even if you hadn’t glimpsed upwards, praying it was simply a staff member, his voice preceded him. ‘Ay, ay, ay. Good morning!’

Chan swivelled in his chair to greet them, as Changbin patted him on the shoulder and passed by. Han followed, an easy-going expression across his face. If it had been any other occasion, you would have been overjoyed to have the three alongside, and you always enjoyed writing with the group. This was very different though and when Han held out his iced coffee for you to share and your cheeks warmed, you felt positively stupid. Here was Han, one of your closest companions, the one you’d always share iced-coffees with and there was you - blushing as though you hadn’t met before, as though you hadn’t spent three weeks grinding out a song meant to encompass just how in love with him you were.

A shake of your head and Han retracted his offer, but not without a cheery smile, reminder enough why you were doing this to take the edge off your nerves. He momentarily moved to the mixing desk and at Chan’s side, spoke briefly to the leader. After a few minutes, Chan questioned whether you were ready to go - a fleeting glance to Jisung and you saw the excited expression across his face.

‘Uh, sure,’ you nodded, ‘I’ll get set-up.’

Chan immediately returned his attention to the desk and Han continued to loiter behind. To enter the adjoining recording booth, you moved past Changbin, who gave your arm an enthusiastic nudge and cheered from the seat he’d taken near the doorway.

In the booth, stood before the microphone, mouth cotton-like, Han’s offer of coffee seemed like a missed opportunity. Chan had spoken over the monitor at least three minutes ago asking whether you were settled and you’d truly dragged out every second possible detangling the imaginary knot in your headphones, but you couldn’t procrastinate much more. When you finally pried your fingers from the wires, you mustered enough courage to look across the recording booth and to the window that connected the space to the next room. From here, you could make out Chan perched behind the mixing desk and Changbin was slowly swivelling in half-circles at his left. Jisung was stood behind, his lower-back pressed against the wall - you were envious of his composure. But, then again, he wasn’t about to throw up his innermost emotions in front of his closest friends.

Chan patiently asked again and this time, you caught his eye through the glass and gave a thumbs-up, feeling far meeker than you looked. But, this was it. No backing out now.

One of those situated behind the mixing desk pressed a series of buttons and adjusted several sliding controls until the instrumental piece you’d composed was filtering through your headphones. All you had to do was get out those words you’d spent all that time writing, like you had a hundred times before. Hell, you’d recorded in front of the entirety of the group before, and a love song at that, but not one so intimate, so meaningful. One meant for one of them.

All you had to do was get through the first verse, which was ambiguous, and the rest, the important stuff, would simply have to follow. Maybe Han wouldn’t even notice.

In the adjoining room, Jisung was staring at you through the window. Changbin was murmuring something to the room, but he wasn’t listening, he didn’t want to miss a second of hearing you sing.

‘And I never, saw you coming. And I’ll never, be the same.’

As he listened, his thoughts seemed to suddenly muddy and he was conscious of the abrupt pounding of his chest. He elected to listen a little harder to what you were singing - your voice was breathtaking, but the lyrics struck something deeper. He wasn’t even sure if he had heard correctly, but he couldn’t let it slip completely from his mind - you had just said what he always said. I never saw you coming. At this point, he wasn’t even sure how the joke started, you weren’t even particularly short, he’d just made a stupid comment someday that he hadn’t seen you arrive because you were too far below his eye-line and the dumb joke had stuck. And now, you were standing in the recording booth singing the line back to him.

The more he listened, the more he stumbled across.

‘You come around and the armour falls, pierce the room like a cannonball.’

The reference felt vague, but the allusion was there nonetheless. He was the cannonball, any one of his group would have known that. In all his haphazard joviality, when he was comfortable, he did nothing else but burst into each and every room and he’d never realised that it’d been noticed. That you, had noticed.

To be sure that he wasn’t merely hearing things, before he leapt to some great conclusion that you felt the same way about him as he did you, he leant forward and asked Chan if there was a copy of the lyrics lying around. Chan-nodded - he swivelled his chair to the right and rooted through a pile of papers, before he altered his search and moved to the left. He thumbed through another stack and this time he pulled out a couple of pages and offered them to Han. There were two double-sided pages, each covered with scribbles and crossing-outs and arrows connecting one line to another. It certainly wasn’t an example of the finished product, but a detailed insight into the writing process that you’d undertaken. As he cast his glance over the pages, he almost overlooked the words scrawled into the corner, the paper was so dog-eared and crumpled that the scratch could have gone entirely overlooked. But there, in the right-hand corner, underlined twice, in your rushed handwriting, were two words: ‘For Han.’

As you shifted in front of the microphone, his eyes crawled over the handwriting on the page in his hand. One line stood out and as the words filtered through to his brain, his chest tightened. If he’d glanced upwards, he would have seen the edges of Chan’s mouth lift into a half-smile as he watched Jisung analyse your lyrical work, knowing what was coming.

‘Up in your room and our slates are clean, just twin earth signs, four brown eyes.’

He felt his cheeks burn scarlet, his entire body suddenly felt hot, and he couldn’t possibly pry his line of sight from the papers in his clasp for fear of the other two seeing his flush. Even if they didn’t turn around to look at him, they could surely hear the hammering of his heart behind his ribcage, or the sudden rise in his breathing. Mostly, he didn’t care if they did, he was simply stunned into a sense of quiet and he wasn’t certain he’d be able to find anything to reply if they directed a question his way.

He was faintly aware that you’d finished - your voice no longer drifted through to the room and Chan was muttering his praise through the monitor. But, you were still stood in the recording booth, seemingly loitering, fiddling with your headphones once more, too shy to risk glimpsing through the window in case you caught Jisung’s eye. Perhaps he was oblivious to everything about the scene, or more likely, he was forcing the issue, but Changbin lifted himself from his seat and swung the doorway to the booth open, before calling you through.

Jisung didn’t pause to consider his own actions for a moment - as Changbin threw the entranceway wide, he pushed himself from the wall and made for the recording booth, ducking beneath Changbin’s arm and neglecting his too-loud shout of something - confusion or encouragement, he wasn’t sure. The commotion caused you to look over - Changbin was grinning, smugly at that, and walking to Chan’s side as he shook his head, an equal expression across his own features. But, Han - well, he was moving in your direction faster than you could even blush.

If the lyrics hadn’t been on-the-nose enough, he was clutching at your notes and you knew that, as you’d momentarily paused in your writing and your mind had drifted, you’d scratched his name somewhere on the page. Now he was coming for you and you weren’t sure if that was anger across his features, or what. In truth, he felt the furthest thing from angry - he’d entered the room in a moment of reckless confidence, but with each step, it continued to wane and he had only the heaving of his chest to remind him of his uncertainty. It was quite possible that he knew you like the back of his hand, but this was new, untrodden ground and he was nervous, like he’d been the first time he’d ever met you.

Then, you were looking to him, features threatening to twist into reticence, but you opted for a gentle sigh and spoke his name softly. ‘Han -’

He drew up to a stop, barely a metre from your position and as you caught his eye, instead of withdrawing from embarrassment, you mustered a small laugh. God had decided your fate and well, what the fuck else could you do except laugh and resign yourself to whatever was going to follow.

Jisung laughed too - line of sight momentarily falling to the floor, right-hand going to scratch the back of his neck, but he was smiling.

Okay. Okay.

‘I’m, uh,’ you stammered, ‘a bit nervous. This, uh, wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Wait, you know what I’m talking about, right? Actually, never mind, it was obvious, right? I’ve rehearsed this in my head, like a lot, it’s just that I didn’t think I’d be saying it like this.’

You forced yourself to look at his face, seeking some sort of reassurance. But, he appeared blank and entirely unseeing and your heart dropped. ‘Saying what?’ Han questioned, seemingly confused.

As you were about to begin backtracking, heart somewhere three floors below, Han’s features suddenly altered and he was giving you that silly grin he gave when he thought he’d just said something downright hilarious.

‘Wh - what?’ you mustered, furrowing your brow.

He continued to smile, but you noted the scarlet colour of his cheeks. ‘Han!’ you groaned.

So this was how he was taking it, you supposed it could have been worse.

Maybe your expression gave your thoughts away, for Han seemed to sober up, though his smile didn’t altogether disappear. ‘The song,’ he started, ‘Sounded good, really good, in fact. I, uh, got these from Chan,’ and he held up the papers in his clutch.

‘Oh, yeah.’

God fucking damn. Why were you both so freakin’ bad at this.

‘A cannonball, huh?’ he murmured.

As you looked at him, you saw his widening smile. ‘Han, I swear to God.’

He threw his head back and his laughter went all the way to crinkle the edges of his eyes and for a moment, you wondered whether he really hadn’t a clue as to what was going on, because you weren’t sure any confession had ever gone the way this one was going.

‘Sungie,’ you sighed, about to berate him for whatever the hell was going on, but his hands were suddenly on either of your cheeks and he was leaning down, his mouth moving for your own.

The gentle shaking of his hands and the heat emanating from the flush of his cheeks betrayed his nerves, but he kissed you and moved away, all before you could possibly contemplate closing your eyes. As he withdrew, you tested his name on your lips once more, but your voice wouldn’t quite come. You ghosted your fingers over your lower lip, unsure if you were entirely conscious, because, you know, Han Jisung, the love of your life, had just kissed you.

You glanced to him, recognising the crimson flare of his skin, but uncaring. Your eyes felt watery as they trailed over his features and your adoration felt thick in your throat. Able to perceive the apprehension in his eyes, you reached for his sleeve and gently tugged him closer. For a moment, your line of sight remained fixed on his chest, before you forced it higher, feeling the beginnings of a smile overcome your astonishment. A lifetime seemed to pass as you rose to tiptoes and closed your eyes, mouth aiming for his.

Now, he took his time, bold enough to place a hand on your waist as you slipped a hand to his chest. He seemed hesitant to pull away and as you drew back, your eyes met and giddy smiles were exchanged. Though, his expression was quick to soften, ‘You never saw that coming, huh?’ he said teasingly.

‘Haaaan,’ you groaned again, forehead falling forward onto his chest, ‘I hate you.’

[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content

Masterlist

Okay, so Chan is absolutely the sort to shy away from doing anything unless you explictly ask. I’m talking, you’re making out on your bed and it’s hot and heavy and anything but innocent. He’s moving down your neck, nipping at your most sensitive spots and maybe he’s smirking when he tugs a particularly desperate noise from your mouth. His hands have found purchase beneath your shirt, fingers running along your waist, constantly threatening to move higher. And he’s achingly hard against your thigh. Your hands are moving along his back, beneath his black t-shirt and the slight press of your nails against his skin is enough to encourage him to press his hips tighter against your own. When you press your thigh against his waist, he moves against you to create friction and he’s desperate, but he won’t do anything more until you’re tugging at the ends of his hair and sighing and pulling away from him just long enough to say, ‘Chan, please fuck me.’ 

And then, well. 

He’s smirking, but inside, he’s screaming at himself to keep it together. As much as he wants to tear your clothes off, he’s desperate to be respectful, so it’s delicate fingers pulling at the hem of your shirt until it’s over your head. He falters for a moment when he sees you shirtless, exposed to him and he suddenly remembers just how hard he is. You catch him staring, even though it is just for a second and you can see the conflict behind his eyes. His hair is tousled and he just looks so big settled between your legs and his trousers really aren’t doing much to conceal what is supposed to be hidden beneath. And you know that he is trying to be a gentleman, so this time you tug at his t-shirt, drawing him down to you and when he is close enough, you sigh just beside his ear, ‘Chan, I said fuck me.’ 

wow, your writing is so good, i went through your whole masterlist over the last hour haha

Naw, you’re so sweet?! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🥺💕

[ Changbin Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content

AFAB Reader

Masterlist

Part of me thinks that Changbin would be hyper-aware of exposing your relationship if his group members don’t yet know, or if they do, at least a little conscious of expressing too much affection around them. They’d tease him even more than they already do. 

But, equally, I think that Changbin is absolutely the sort of boyfriend who instinctively glances up from whatever he is doing whenever you walk into the room. His eyes will follow your movement and whoever he was talking to is momentarily forgotten (and trust me, Minho gives out about it). Even if you’re not intending to walk near him, he’ll extend an arm in a silent invitation for you to slip to his side and he’ll instantly pull you closer. Maybe he just has a thing about having his hands on you - he doesn’t care where, thigh, waist, shoulder, he just wants to have something to grip onto. And you’re hardly complaining, his hands are going to be pretty callused from weight-lifting and the rough skin, the weight of his hand, is reassuring. Not to mention a turn-on when he applies a little pressure to your thigh and sends a hundred sexual thoughts running through your head.

He’s sometimes casual about everything and you simply join the group like you’re a friend. Changbin doesn’t push to sit beside you and it’s cool, you chat away to whoever you’re closest to because you’re all friends and the fact that you’re dating Changbin doesn’t change anything. Or, he’s all over you, entirely uncaring who might see what. He’s cornering you in the shared kitchen, distracting you from cooking, talking to you in a low voice, probably whining about how long dinner is taking and he’s got other matters on his mind. He presses himself close and when he kisses you, it’s hot and intense and inappropriate in every possible way given that you’re in the shared kitchen. Minho is definitely going to be the one giving out when he catches you both and as you hide behind Changbin, he’s smirking in such a way that screams just how little he cares about being caught. 

On the occasions he’s feeling particularly confident, he’ll ask whether you’re good, as if he isn’t slowly rearranging your insides and he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s moving slowly, but reaching so, so deep all you can manage is a quiet, soft mhmm. He definitely smirks, but doesn’t press you any further. It’s the sort of occasion where you can’t even bring yourself to trail your nails against his back, all you can think to do is wrap your arms around him to try and bring him even closer, to feel as much of his skin against your own. The feeling is so engulfing that you’re almost silent, desperately clinging to Changbin’s broad shoulders to try and ground yourself and Changbin lives for this - his girlfriend too full of him to talk. 

[ Being in a secret relationship with Changbin Headcanons ] -

Pairing: Changbin x reader

Warnings: Reference to 18 + Themes & Swearing

Masterlist

- JYP had been clear, coherent and concise - Stray Kids were not to date, enter a relationship, or be seen in any sort of suspicious situation that might be interpreted a particular way

- Technically, Changbin hadn’t infringed on any of the above rules, at least as far as he was concerned

- It had been JYP who had invited you into the studio of Stray Kids to involve the outlook of an outsider into the writing process and Changbin, given that he always tried to be gentlemanly, had tried his upmost to make you feel entirely welcome

- It wasn’t his fault that you were lovely and everything he’d ever wanted

- At first, you only met the members of 3RACHA, given that the trio were mostly responsible for writing and producing the group’s material and as your relationship was relatively fresh, Changbin didn’t worry about sharing the ins-and-outs with Chan and Han

- Let’s be real though, Chan caught on pretty quick and Han had a pretty hard time smothering his very knowing smirk after Chan had pointed out a few suspicious details to him

- To begin, when you and the trio collectively wrote, Changbin seemed to hang on every suggestion and adjustment you made and whilst Chan knew his dedication to the art of music-making was profound, he was certain that he’d never listened so politely to his comments

- Not only that, but when you had other commitments or it was so late that they’d already insisted you go home, Changbin made sure to reiterate your earlier directions

- He even withdrew your notebook on one occasion - Chan was horrified and panicked for a moment that you’d left it behind by mistake and Changbin had nosed around inside uninvited because he knew just how embarrassed he would be if someone stumbled across his half-finished jottings

- When Changbin insisted that you’d given him permission and purposefully left it behind, he was a little surprised - he felt like it was an invitation into the intimate workings of your mind

- Han picked the notebook up at one point and whilst he only meant to move it to the side so that he didn’t spill his coffee over it, Changbin immediately lurched for it, worried that Han planned to flick through

- Han was more than a little startled and whilst Chan laughed, Changbin took the notebook and filed it away into his bag, clearly precious over it

- Changbin is pretty bashful though, so the flush that took to his cheeks was virtually glowing and whilst Chan and Han were nice enough to refrain from saying anything, they couldn’t conceal their smiles as Changbin lowered his gaze to the laptop in front of him and refused to look away until he had cooled down

- Once or twice, Changbin had insisted on leaving the dorm early to get coffee on his way to the studio - he also flatly refused any assistance from both Chan and Han

- It was a ploy to meet you so you’d have five minutes together before the other two arrived

- Chan had actually only been a couple of minutes behind and he had caught sight of you through the little window in the studio door - Changbin was sat at the mixing-desk, admittedly with a coffee on the desk, and you were stood directly opposite

- Changbin had a hand on your thigh and you had one on his shoulder and you were simply chatting about something or other and Chan felt as though he didn’t want to disturb you both just yet

- He thought it was cute, and he was a little shy, so he loitered in the hallway, pretending to browse the vending machine until Han turned up

- When you and Han stepped-out later in the day on a lunch run, Chan gently approached the subject - he was happy for Changbin, more than happy, and he thought you were a wonderful partnership, he was just a little worried that if he’d seen you, so might have anyone else who had walked past, including management

- As kindly and respectfully as possible, he mentioned that he’d noticed that you had grown close and whilst he was pleased, he suggested a little more caution, even saying that it would be okay if Changbin invited you to the dorm occasionally, it would be safer and he was sure the group would adore you

- Changbin blushed HARD for the entire conversation, but was very grateful of Chan’s approval

- The other five members knew of you as someone who was regularly writing in the studio with 3RACHA

- They had also noticed a couple of details about Changbin prior to your introduction, however

- First and foremost, they had never seen him spend so much time scrolling, swiping and smiling at his phone

- Obviously they all had their own friends outside of the group and messaging these friends was to be expected, but simple friends didn’t pass hours at a time sending back and forth texts and they definitely didn’t have phone-calls that required an hour, (at least), in the privacy of one’s own bedroom

- Changbin was definitely in contact with someone that he didn’t want everyone to know about and judging by his evident joy, it was someone he liked, a lot

- There was another minor detail that had actually first been picked-up on by a keen-eyed fan - Changbin had been seen wearing an elastic hairband on his wrist and on more than one occasion at that

- I mean, look at the gif, his arms are dreamy and as if people weren't going to pay close attention to them and what was, or wasn't, on them

- It certainly wasn’t Changbin’s hair-tie though, maybe Hyunjin’s, Felix’s at a stretch, but the fans just couldn’t decide why Changbin would wear one for them

- Unless it wasn’t theirs at all and he’d gotten in the habit of wearing one to offer some unknown, but very lucky, partner

- As soon as management stumbled across the speculation, Changbin was quietly approached and to say that he was panicked was an understatement, but they handled the situation gently, without too many questions or accusations, and simply asked him to remove the hair-tie and, under no circumstance, be seen wearing one again

- He was relieved and felt he was let off relatively lightly, but the stress of the situation had been so terrible that he’d invited you over to the dorm that evening, deciding that what he needed was to introduce you to the remainder of the group

- Not only would he then be able to offer some explanation for his recent behaviour, but he would be able to spend some quality time with you

- The hairband debacle had increased the scrutiny he was under in public, making meeting you particularly difficult

- He just wanted to cuddle, uninterrupted and away from prying eyes

- Honestly, he was also ready to take your relationship to the next level (cough, he wanted to fuck, cough) and he certainly wasn’t going to have his first time with you in the studio, (even if it had crossed his mind)

[ Bang Chan Hard Thought ] -

18 + Content

Masterlist

I’ve just been thinking about how y’know, good, Chan looks in some of his stage outfits and it got me wondering. Say their stylist had handed out a bunch of clothing items for them each to take home to try on, Chan, being as busy as he is, had half-heartedly tried them before putting them in the corner of his bedroom to return at some point. When you’re hanging out at the dorm one evening and Chan goes to shower, you have a little look through the bag and find a particularly comfortable looking shirt and decide Chan probably wouldn’t mind if you slipped into it. (When Chan returns, he definitely doesn’t mind.) He sees you, sat against the headboard and just scrolling through your phone, as though you aren’t only wearing a button-up that is barely covering your bare thighs. 

At first, he’s going to be surprised into a flush and be like, ‘Oh.’ When he sees your innocent expression something is definitely going to change - he tries to keep his eyes focused on your face as you mention how nice the shirt is, but there’s something incredibly distracting about your half-naked figure. When he says that it was from the stylist and you instantly offer to swap it for something else, his voice is a little firm as he tells you it’s okay. There’s going to be a moment of silence where you simply look at each other - you take note of his ever-so slightly darkened expression, the sudden heave of his chest. You place a hand on his cheek and kiss him softly and it would have been harmless if only you hadn’t shifted your legs and the hem of the shirt hadn’t lifted even higher. A glimpse of the fringe of your underwear and Chan is gone. 

He’s going to get real close and quick - one hand cupping your chin to keep you still, the other heavy on your thigh, moving higher with every passing second. He’s gripping at the skin and whilst he isn’t rough, he isn’t exactly gentle and there is absolute desire in his kisses as he moves down your neck, all the way to the front of the button-up. When he sees just how few buttons you’d bothered to do up, he audibly groans and if he wasn’t hard before, he certainly is now. The hand that was on your thigh has long since slipped beneath the shirt and he holds your waist as he finally lays you down, desperate to have you as close as possible. His movements will be slow, but purposeful - he takes great care to shower you with affection, gentle touches and grazes of his teeth, not to mention the forceful press of his hips against your own so you’re able to feel just what the sight of you in his button-up is doing to him. He knows how to rile you up until you’re digging your nails into his shoulder and pleading for him to touch you.

Chan will flush at the noises you’re making, but they’ll only make him want you more. He’ll have his hands up your shirt, running over your chest, drawing quiet moans of his name from your mouth. He’ll throw your underwear somewhere into the bedroom, but when you go to remove the button-up he’ll immediately stop you, telling you to keep it on because you look so good in it. Any opportunity to tease him about his confession is cut short by him slipping inside and the stretch is just right, sending any thoughts far from your head. He’ll bunch the shirt up in his fist as he moves and appreciate the sight of you looking swamped in the material.