I Thought You Never Would - Chapter 5

I thought you never would… - Chapter 5

Chapter five

warnings: mention of rape, nervousness 

word count: 3,368 words

Dean frowned when he saw the message, because for him it was just a fight not an end of a friendship. Sure, he was annoyed and really mad, but he appreciated you a lot. You were fun to talk to, you gave him really good advices. He was just annoyed about the things you said about the thing that was going on between him and Kira. 

"I'm sorry about what I said. You're right it wasn't fair, not at all. I need you to understand what's going on between me and Kira is my business. Also the friendship isn't over." He texted back a moment later. You sniffled when you saw your phone lit up and grabbed your phone almost immediately. You looked at the screen, clicking on the message. You felt a small smile creep up your face as you read over the message. You felt relieved that the friendship wasn't over, but you were kinda annoyed about the part with Kira. You decided to ignore it, since the friendship was more important to you than what was going on between him and Kira. 

"Okay...can we go back the normal now?" You texted. You hated fighting. You hated the feeling that fights gave you. They made you feel tense and on edge. Especially with Dean. You had never seen Dean in real life nor did you had known him that long, but you already were falling for him. Faster than you probably should had. Sometimes you had hope, Dean might had liked you too. Dean gave you a lot of compliments, like that he thinks you're cute or that you're really pretty. Ryan even once told you, that Dean told him that Dean was attracted to you, which gave you  a big confidence boost, you didn't know you needed. 

Once Dean kinda made an inappropriate compliment, for you it was charming, but it also could've been that it wasn't so inappropriate at all. He told you, that he thought your ass was really pretty and good looking, because he was checking out the pictures you had on your Instagram. You blushed so hard and you were so glad he couldn't see your face. 

Dean saw your message and also kinda smiled, wanting nothing more than getting back to normal with you, too. Firstly, he wanted to text you back, but decided against it quickly. He hit the FaceTime button and called you. You were surprised about him calling you, but you felt so happy. So you picked up the call quickly and smiled shyly at him. "Hey." He said softly and smiled, but the smile quickly turned into a frown. "Have you been crying?" He asked as he he noticed your red and puffy eyes. "N-No." You managed to say. He looked at you and felt even more worse about how he made you feel. He made you feel so bad, that you cried. It was the first time he felt emotional about making someone cry. 

"You have been and I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He told you softly and honestly with a small smile. "I-It's okay." You said with a nod. He sighed and gave you a small smile. "Since you want to go back to normal, you should come online." He said with a smile. You smiled brightly. "I'll be there in five." You told him with a happy smile, already feeling better. Before the fight, you bought yourself a train ticket to visit Dean's town. You were worried about the money you spend on it, when Dean started acting weird around you. You didn't tell Dean, but you did tell Ryan and Sam. They thought it was a really cool idea and the imagination of seeing you for real seemed fun. 

You hung up the call and joined the voice chat. "Hey, Y/N." Ryan said cheerfully. "Hey." You said with a smile. "So everything's good now?" He asked curiously, since he was kinda worried about both of you. "Yeah, everything is good now." Dean answered. "Yeah." You said softly and smiled in relief to yourself.

After that fight you and Dean ended up FaceTiming every night again. Him and Kira stopped meeting, which you didn't know why and out of respect you didn't ask why. To be honest after that fight Dean thought about you a lot, thinking about how important you'd become to him in such a short time.  He thought about how right you were about him and Kira, since Kira started messing with his head and trying to get back with him, when he didn't want to. She even started leaving and forgetting things at his place on purpose. He was getting annoyed with her and told her, they shouldn't hang out for a while. 

To be honest, Dean caught himself crushing on you. He felt his heart flutter every time he heard you laugh, saw your smile and his phone lit up with your name. He had a crush on you, he didn't know why, but there was just something about you that made him feel that way. What was also weird to him, because he'd never seen you in person. 

The day had come, when you made your way to Dean's town and frankly, you thought, you were shitting yourself. You were so nervous and excited to see those people, you'd been talking to on a daily basis for the last three months. Dean had been tidying up for the last two hours, because his place was a mess. Dean never liked cleaning up, but he knew he had to. Dean was probably more nervous than you were. He was nervous about sharing a bed with you and you were too. Dean's place was small and he just had a couch that only could fit two people. Since Ryan and his brother Sam were coming too, he had to improvise. 

He was so nervous about asking you if it was okay for you to share a bed. You blushed so hard, your cheeks were burning. It was your first time sharing a bed with a boy and Dean didn't know that. Still, he was nervous and also excited. He secretly hoped to cuddle and hold you in his arms like he imagined the last few weeks. 

Dean finished cleaning his place and wiped his forehead. He sighed happily, because he was finally done and he swore himself to clean up regularly, so he wouldn't spend hours to clean up. He plopped down on his couch for a moment to take a deep breath and drink some water. He noticed a weird smell and sniffled himself letting out a small cough  at how much he smelled like sweat. At first he didn't mind and then he remembered he had to share a bed to you and he was quicker on his feet than he ever was. He walked into his bedroom and grabbed a pair of boxers, before walking into his bathroom to take a shower. 

Just when he left his bathroom, someone knocked on his door and he opened it to see it was his big brother he hasn't seen in months. "Lil Bro, it's been some time." Sam said with a happy smile, stepping inside Dean's little apartment. 

"Wait, just let me get dressed real quick." He said with a small laugh and rushed into his bedroom, getting dressed into a pair of joggers and a shirt. When he entered his living room again, he pulled his brother into a tight hug. A hug he didn't know he needed. He realized, how much he missed his brother. He missed having him around and he missed having Sam defend Dean in front of their mom, when things got ugly. "So good to see you." Dean said as they pulled away from the hug. Sam smiled winking at his brother and patting his back. 

"I see you cleaned up." Sam said with a laugh and Dean let out a small laugh scratching his eyebrow. "Yeah, I did. Took me hours." He said with a nod. "And all of that for Y/N." Sam said wiggling his eyebrows. Dean chuckled trying to hide his nervousness. Dean talked to Sam about how he felt about Y/N a few days ago, so Sam was just messing with Dean. "So when is Ryan coming?" Sam asked a moment later. "He probably will be here in an hour." He told his brother. "You wanna drink something?" Sam nodded and Dean walked into the kitchen, returning with a bottle of water. The brothers caught up on everything, Sam telling him, how he likes college and that Dean should visit him some time soon. 

The time passed by quickly and you were just 5 minutes away from Dean's town's train station and your heart was hammering more than ever. You were so damn nervous, asking yourself, how the weekend might could end up. Would it be awkward and weird or would it be cool and fun? You literally had no clue and idea, how to feel about it. You also had no idea, how to feel about seeing him and sharing a bed with Dean. You were excited and curious, but also anxious and nervous. 

Those five minutes passed by so quick, you didn't even realize. You swallowed hard, when the doors opened. When you got out of the of the train, Dean immediately recognised you. His heart was beating so fast and the closer you got the more nervous he became. You recognised Dean too and he was even better looking in person. He was so beautiful and hot, you felt a lump form in your throat and you became so nervous and shy, when you approached him. "H-Hey." He stuttered out as he admired you. You looked up at him and smiled shyly, "H-Hi." You said shyly before he pulled you into a hug hesitantly. His smell embraced you and gave you comfort, he smelled so good, you didn't notice how you were snuggling into his chest. Dean felt the same about the hug, hugging you closer. He felt so happy about finally holding you in his arms.

That moment was so much better than he imagined and he imagined that moment so many times, he didn't remember. Holding you made him feel so good and comfortable, he wished he'd never had to pull away. When you two pulled away eventually, you smiled shyly and blushed deeply. He smiled softly at the sight. The two of you began walking to Dean's place, "So where are the others?" You asked curiously. "They're at my place...so how was your journey?" He asked softly. You nodded and smiled, "it was long, but okay and interesting." He smiled, "So how long did you take to get here?" He asked. "Three hours." You said with a small laugh. "But absolutely worth it." Dean smiled at that. 

The two of you talked a bit, it was a bit weird, since you two have never seen each other in person, but it was okay. You two got to his place, just a few minutes later. "You really live on the highest floor?" You asked out of breath as he chuckled. "Almost, there are two more floors." He told you and you took a deep breath. He lived on the 5th floor, which were a lot of stairs, since you got the luck, you had an elevator in the apartment complex you lived in with your mom. 

You entered the apartment and smiled, when you saw Sam and Ryan. "Hey, Y/N. Nice to finally meet you in person." Sam said happily and smiled, pulling you into a hug. You hugged him back, the hug was different tho. Not as special as the hug you shared with Dean. You pulled away much sooner than you did from Dean. Ryan smiled happily and pulled you in a quick hug as well. "So how was the trip?" Sam asked curiously. "It was okay." You said with a smile. 

"You don't wanna sit down?" Ryan asked with a laugh as he noticed that you still were standing in the middle of Dean's living room. You blushed deeply, all of the sudden you felt so shy around them, so you sat down next to Sam hesitantly, who gave you a soft smile. You smiled shyly and looked around a bit. "So what we're making for dinner?" Dean asked clapping his hands together. "Hmm, I'm in the mood for chicken and french fries." Sam said. "Oh, me too." You said with a smile and Dean nodded with a warm smile. "Ryan, you cool with that?" Dean asked and Ryan nodded with a smile. "Sure." 

Dean nodded with a smile and disappeared into the kitchen, you followed him. "You need help?" You asked softly. Dean turned his his head, stopping cutting the potatoes. "No." He said softly. "You sure?" He nodded and gave you a smile. "You should take a break, just send Sam in." He told you with a small laugh. You nodded and went back inside the living room to tell Sam, Dean asked for him. Sam rolled his eyes playfully with a smile before joining his little brother. 

The time went by really quickly and dinner was served. It looked delicious, it was such a simple dish, but still it looked so good. Dean made the fries himself, you loved self made fries. You grabbed your fork and took a bite, "Wow, Dean, that's so good." You said happily and he blushed deeply. "Hey, I helped too." Sam said playfully. Dean chuckled a bit as you rolled your eyes playfully. 

You finished dinner and helped cleaning up the dining table and plates. You helped Dean cleaning up the kitchen. Dean was impressed, because Kira never did something like that. He admired you, how you cleaned the plates. You didn't even ask, you just helped cleaning up. You thought it was fair, because you stayed at his place and ate his food. "Thank you." Dean said when you two finished cleaning and you nodded with a soft smile. "Of course, that's the least I can do." You said softly with a smile. Dean smiled softly, "You know, Kira never helped or did anything when she lived here." He told you and you were a bit shocked, since your mom taught you to help and clean up, when you were staying at someone's place. 

"Never?" You asked with wide eyes and he shook his head no. You sighed, "Uhm, okay." You answered not wanting to say anything about her, because the mood could had changed, when you did. Dean frowned slightly. "You know, my mom taught me to help and clean up when you're at someone's place." That's all you said and Dean nodded, because his Dad told him the same. You walked back into the living room and plopped down on his couch and Dean sat down next to you as well, while Ryan and Sam were playing 'Call of Duty'.  

Dean lit his cigarette and started smoking, when you answered your mom's text. You and your mom got into a big fight about you visiting Dean miles away from your hometown, because there were three boys and no parents. Sure, you didn't know Dean in person, but you knew he wasn't a bad person, that did things like having sex with girls against their will.  Your mom really thought, they would rape or abuse you. You knew your mom was just worrying about you, but sometimes it was exhausting. She and her ex-boyfriend broke up like a month ago, because he cheated on her in December, and she started to believe every man was like that. So it got really annoying. 

You explained to your mom, that you'll be careful. She gave you some money, in case you needed to get a motel room. She was just making sure you were safe, because she really worried about you. So you texted her, you got there safe and you were doing fine. There was nothing to worry about. Your mom felt relieved and told you, to call her when you have some time to you alone. 

"We should have a few drinks and play a game or something." Dean said and you looked up from your phone to look at him. "Sounds fun." You said with a smile. "Uh, sure just a moment." Ryan said and you put your phone away. Ryan and Sam joined you on the couch a moment later. Dean placed a glass in front of everyone and made drinks for you guys. You started hanging out and having couple of drinks. You listened to music and had a lot of fun and laughs with the boys. They became so close to you in such a small amount of time. Those were people you could talk to about everything and you were grateful for that. 

It was time to get ready for bed, because Dean had to go to work the next day because of his boss, who made him help cook something. Dean told you, it'd be 4 hours max and he'd be back then. You were a bit sad, but you understood. You were glad you changed into comfortable clothes, when Dean was making dinner, so you didn't have to change then.

You blushed deeply, when Dean lied down next to you. He smiled at you and you returned the smile shyly. You two lied there for a moment before he looked at you again, "I'm really glad you're here." He whispered softly and you felt your heart flutter. "I'm glad, too." You whispered back. "Are you comfortable?" He asked you softly and a bit worriedly. You nodded almost immediately, "I am, thank you." You said softly, snuggling into the blanket. "The sheets smell so good." You hummed and Dean let out a small laugh. "I changed the sheets this afternoon." He whispered and you smiled softly. 

Dean admired you in the dark, you were so cute and pretty. He still couldn't believe, that you were there, lying next to him. He watched you, while you got comfortable. He wanted to hold you so badly, so he couldn't stop asking the question. "Can I hold you?" He whispered softly. You blushed deeply, but you were so happy that he asked you. You had wished for nothing more than this. You nodded to him, not really trusting your words. Dean felt his heart skip a beat, so he got comfortable as well and wrapped his arm around you hesitantly, hugging you close. You blushed so hard, you were glad it was dark inside his bedroom. You felt yourself snuggle into him without noticing and he smiled holding you close. 

For him it felt so good, holding you felt so good, a feeling he never had when he hold Kira. You gave him comfort, he just felt comfortable around you. He never felt this good holding someone. A few minutes later you were nuzzling his chest and he showed you pictures of his younger self and memories he made with his friends. "That's my best friend Cas, he died over a year ago." He told you with a small smile and you felt bad. You finally understood, who it was in the pictures he was in with a guy. The pictures were in his living room, you remembered a motorbike in one of the pictures he had in the living room. "He died in an accident... he had with his motorbike." He told you quietly and you just wrapped you arms around him, hugging him tightly and close. 

"I'm really sorry for your loss." You whispered softly and he rested his head on your chest, making you blush a bit, but to be honest you didn't mind. He nodded holding you close too, "It still hurts a lot and I miss him so much." He whispered. "I see that." You whispered softly as you rubbed his back. "Thank you." He said softly, when he looked up at you and you nodded. He enjoyed your touch, while you two held each other close.

————

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Lights Out - Masterlist

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Universe: AU

Summary: Y/N was different from the rest; living in a quaint lakehouse, on the edge of one of the most rich and prosperous towns in America. She was surrounded with the elite, the wealthy and people who never took responsibility for their actions. Money gave them everything, while in turn, it had taken something from her. In result, she kept her distance, never wanting to get involved with high society, until one fateful night changed her life…forever.

Rating: 18+

Warnings:  Angst, flangst, smangst, smuff, smut, fluff, darker themes, teasing, Dom themes, Sub themes. All chapters will be tagged accordingly. 

~ Get 5 weeks ahead! ~ This series is currently five weeks ahead on Patreon right now! This series will post every Friday until completion. ~Tag List is open!~ —————————————————– Main Masterlist —————————————————–

Preview

Prologue 

Chapter One 

Chapter Two 

Chapter Three 

Chapter Four 

Chapter Five  

Chapter Six 

Chapter Seven 

Chapter Eight 

Chapter Nine  

Chapter Ten 

Chapter Eleven 

Chapter Twelve 

Chapter Thirteen 

Chapter Fourteen 

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen 

Chapter Seventeen 

Chapter Eighteen 

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty One 

Chapter Twenty Two - Posting 2nd July  ( Available on Patreon )

Chapter Twenty Three - Posting 8th July ( Available on Patreon )

Chapter Twenty Four - Posting 15th July ( Available on Patreon  )

Chapter Twenty Five - Posting 22nd July (

Test test

Masterlist

Welcome to my Masterlist!

My name is Tina and I have been writing Supernatural fanfiction since late 2019 and started posting it in December 2020.

I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and constructive criticism on my work so please feel free to comment, DM or Ask!

DISCLAIMER:  This blog is strictly 18+ ONLY.

These stories are entirely fiction and the product of my imagination. Most will contain explicit content, including language and smut. Some may also contain trigger warnings and will be marked appropriately.

I will not interact with minors and if I think you are a minor, I have the right to block / ignore you. I am doing this to protect myself and you.

You are responsible for your own content consumption. If you don’t like something on my blog, scroll on by.

** - Here Be Explicit Smut * - Non-descriptive / Light Smut

JENSEN ACKLES

SERIES Soulmates **

ONE / TWO SHOTS Coming Home * Coming Home, Part 2 Suffocate Me ** Remind Me Remind Me, Pt. 2 **

DEAN WINCHESTER

SERIES

As yet untitled Mechanic!Dean x Teacher!Reader WIP coming soon!

As yet untitled Firefighter!Dean x Nurse!Reader WIP coming soon!

MINI SERIES Can’t Fight This Feeling

ONE / TWO SHOTS Someone Like Me

BINGO / CHALLENGE MASTERLISTS

Tell Me A Story 2022

Letting Go

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Nobody prepares you for losing the love of your life.

Warnings: mention of blood and death

I finally completed season 15 after nearly two years of putting it off. I cried my eyes out those last couple episodes for sure. Also, let me know if you'd like to be tagged in my future Supernatural fics!

MASTERLIST

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“Promise me something darlin’, promise me that you’re going to find someone else. I don’t want you to be missing me too much when I’m gone and I know that you wouldn’t consider it but, fall in love with someone else, someone who isn’t going to screw things up the way that I did many times. I love you Y/N, forever and always.”

Fresh tears streamed down the woman’s face, her body shaking from the sobs that wrecked her from deep within. In such a short time she’s lost so many people that she grew to love and consider family; Castiel, Jack and her boyfriend, Dean being the top three that really meant the world to her.

It’s been a little over a week since Dean died and for the first two nights she couldn’t bare to sleep in the room they shared but on the third day, Y/N had found herself pulling on his burgundy shirt, inhaling his musky scent that lingered on the fabric as she laid on his side of the bed. Most days Y/N spent all her time curled up into a tight ball in bed, crying her eyes out into his pillow as she desperately clung to it.

Dean’s death affected his baby brother and lady so much so that it was physically challenging for either of them to get anything done around the bunker. The only reason either of them surfaced for the day is to take the dog out to do his business and on a short walk.

“Now that we have the freedom to do whatever we want, why don’t we start our own family? It’d be nice to have one or two tiny Winchesters running through these halls.”

Y/N buried her puffy face deeper into the soaked pillow as she kept replaying some of the moments spent with her lover. Dean had mentioned that he wanted everything with Chuck to be done with before they could finally settle down without having to wonder what games Chuck is up to. Unfortunately, they both didn't make it that far together as Dean's life was cut short.

Sam gently pushed the door open to check on her as she hadn't gotten out of bed for the day. It's Saturday and on Saturdays she would spend her time baking all kinds of pies for Dean to taste.

The bed dipped beneath Sam and the dog's weight, the grieving pair didn't say anything right away. Sam's eyes landed on the pile of Dean's dirty clothes in the corner of the room that Y/N has yet to move, causing his eyes to tear up more.

"Sammy?" Y/N finally lifted her puffy face from the pillow to look at the lone Winchester brother who shared the same miserable, exhausted look.

"Hey, I um…I came to see how you were doing, also wanted to know if you were up to getting some fresh air with me."

"I'm not up for it Sam, just let me be."

"Come on Y/N, you've been cooped up here for two days. You need some fresh air." He gently squeezed her ankle and she sighed. He was right, she needed to get out of the room that held so many memories of her and Dean.

"Okay."

She hauled herself out of bed once Sam left the room and pulled on a pair of leggings and one of Dean's old flannels that she loved seeing him in. She loosely tied her hair into a bun and slipped on her sneakers to join Sam on his nature walk.

"Let's go buddy." The fluffy dog didn't need to be told twice as he happily walked beside her.

Sam and Y/N both claimed the steps and headed out the door; the bright sunlight almost blinding her from its intensity. There's a lake about two miles away which she loved to go to when she needed to clear her head, that's something she really needed to do right now.

"Sam I have a question." The tall giant looked down at her, waiting for her to continue as they trudged closer to their destination.

"Are you going to keep working cases? You know, carry on the hunting tradition."

"Honestly, I don't know. It definitely isn't going to be the same anymore and I don't think I'll be able to do that without.." His voice trailed off, his mind flooding with memories of him and Dean.

"Okay."

"What about you, what are you going to do? Dean set you free before he left."

"Love is nowhere in the cards for me again Sammy." The pretty lake came into view and the pair quickened their pace a bit to sit on the fallen tree trunk.

"Dean was it for me ya know, I mean he was far from perfect but he was to me, flaws included."

"But he said-"

"I know what he said but I don't think I'll be able to move on, not anytime soon anyways. What about you, you lost Eileen all over again." Sam tossed a stone into the water fighting back his tears yet again. He missed his girlfriend so much.

"I'm sure someone will come along soon enough. I'll miss her everyday but I can’t keep living in the past." The pair fell silent, focusing on the sounds of the birds chirping in the trees that surrounded them.

"I miss him so much Sammy."

"Same here Y/N."

Y/N rested her head on his shoulder and he leaned his on top of her head.

"I miss Cas and Jack too."

"Me too."

—

Ten years later

"Behind you!" Sam warned Y/N of the demon charging at her a second too late as he drove the angel blade into her back.

She collapsed to the floor, blood pouring out of her wound. Sam killed the demon before moving to her side.

"No no no no no, stay with me alright." Sam fished his phone out of his pocket to dial 911.

"Sammy, no."

"I can't lose you too Y/N, I can’t."

"You're going to be alright Sam, tell little Dean that auntie loves him for me please." Blood stained her mouth as she slowly faded.

"Y/N…please."

"I guess my time is up, never thought I'd be taken out by one of those suckers though. You'll be fine Sam, it's time to let me go. I love you Sammy."

"I love you too." Sam broke down into tears, watching the light fade from her eyes until she took her final breath. She was the sister that he never knew he needed and now he has to add her to the list of dead family members.

Now all he's left with in this world is his son. The only good thing about this is the fact that he didn't have to break the news to anyone since she never did move on from Dean, she had flings but nothing serious.

Y/N stood in the middle of an open road surrounded by tall trees, no incoming traffic, no loud noises only peace and quiet. Looking down at her outfit she was surprised to see that she was wearing the floral mid-thigh dress that Dean had bought her. She ran her hands down the chiffon material with a bright smile on her face.

The familiar rumble of the impala drew her attention up ahead as it came to a stop in front of her. Dean got out of Baby with his charming smile on his face, she missed that smile so much.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Dean."

Y/N took off running towards him, jumping into his open arms. Dean effortlessly caught his girl and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He didn’t know how long it's been since he died as time doesn't exist in heaven but by the way she's squeezing him tight he could tell it's been far too long.

"I missed you so much." Y/N pulled back to cup his face in her hands, his green eyes stared up at her.

"I know sweetheart, I missed you too."