I Want To Run Jumins Shoulders

i want to run jumins shoulders

i want him to sit on the floor in front of the couch while i massage his shoulders and he tells me about some absolute jackleg trying to do business with C&R and making jumins life harder

i want him to relax against my legs as his head falls back into my lap and he smiles up at me saying “thank you for listening my love” and then chuckling when i blush before leaning down to kiss him

i had a friend that i had to say goodbye to for my mental health. i care about them and to this day when i see something they would like i consider buying it for them consider contacting them to give it to them. i have to remind myself how bad it was for me i have to remind myself of the relapses, the pain, and how they actively enabled my mental illness and fought against my recovery. i love them. i pray for them daily and i wish them nothing but the best and yet i stand by my decision i gave every resource for help i could before i left and that is all i can do.

thank you for making me feel less alone with this post and for reminding me that it’s okay

I don't hear Jumin walking in, perhaps I should have.

But right now I'm content to sit against the French doors to the patio, watching the rain. The glass is cool against my forehead, and the pattering of the rain against the glass soothes my raging headache.

He's quiet. He observes the needed silence, sitting beside me once he slips off his shoes. I'm grateful he doesn't expect me to say anything.

We sit there for some time, the light of the city gradually becoming brighter than the outside world until their is nothing left but the nightly neon shine. I fiddle with the cuffs on my suit, a bad habit that I picked up from him. In turn he rests his head on my shoulder.

The soft strands of his hair brings me back.

"How was work, Juju?" My voice sounds far more worn than I'd originally imagined.

Jumin's breath huffs. "Don't tell me after all this silence you want to talk about my work."

"S'pose not," I mumble, leaning into him.

He laughs, and I feel him relax. Sitting up straight, he gathers me into his arms. Warmth radiates from his skin, and I can feel it even through his autumn suit. Why is he always so warm? My fingers slowly curl into his sides and I find myself melting gently against him. It's safe right here.

"Someone...is trying to reach out," I manage vaguely. "Someone who I said goodbye to quite some time ago."

"An ill parting?" He guesses.

I nod.

There is silence again as he waits for me to speak. The gentle thing about Jumin is he won't poke or prod. He'll wait patiently for you until you're ready.

"But I loved them a lot," I choke out, feeling something well up and drown my lungs. "Still love them. Even now."

What an awkward thing to say to your husband.

But Jumin doesn't judge. He just hums in affirmation.

"And don't get me wrong. I love you, two types of the same kinda love. It's hard to explain, but—"

"There is a difference between infatuation and romance, darling." The tender timbre of his voice rocks me steady. "I understand the difference. And I know you would sweep me off my feet any day."

This time I giggle, and find myself not quite as waterlogged in my feelings. "I learned so much about myself from them. Learned more about the person I am today. I owe them that."

Jumin nods his encouragement.

"But...I don't want to reach out to them, even though they've ask for me." I bury my face against my knees, heart clenching. "Because at the end of the day, that was my best decision. And I don't think my heart could handle it again. Meeting them and their starlight existence. They were so bright and so lovely to me. I don't want another fallout to ruin that image. It hurts so much, Jumin. Do you know what I mean?"

And when I look up at him, I know.

His stoic face is broken, and his grey gaze is fragile. Strong arms tighten around me and I realize I've picked at a scab on an old wound. Both of us ache.

"You'll love them, so much," he whispers. "And you'll never understand why they did what they did. To you and to others." His voice cracks. "And even then, you'll always love them. But if you are not ready, if the pain of everything hurts too much for you to walk back into their life. For them to walk back, into yours..."

It's almost as if the spectres of those we loved are there before us. Neither of us move. The rain chimes against the window.

"It's okay for you to wish them well from afar," Jumin finally murmurs. "You'll be okay."

i don’t think i did it right >.> it told me to get a snack but i somehow cleaned my entire apartment

dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better

super cute & soft!

Ive been thinking about how Saeyoung’s love language is definitely physical touch so i thought i’d make a little drabble list about it 👉👈

(btw i think pt as a love language can run both ways, both as they love being touched and they love touching you because both release the same sensations so this will reflect that!)

—

-Theres very very few moments during the day where the two of you aren’t somehow touching each other.

-He loves playing with your fingers when you hold hands. he’ll play with your fingers absentmindedly while talking to people because it comforts him.

-The first time you cuddled he cried, overwhelmed by the feeling of you molded against him so perfectly and oh you’re so naturally warm and soft and he can’t believe he’s going to be able to hold you so close to him for hours.

-You initiating kisses either makes him melt or drives him absolutely wild

-Lots of soft PDA wherever you are

-He loves when the two of you bathe together and you offer to wash his hair.

-Speaking of his hair that man absolutely wants you to pet him sometimes

-I headcanons him getting back, shoulder pain from always being hunched over at computers so massages from you are something he’s incredibly thankful for.

-Holding hands everywhere (and yes he does the thumb rub) and Zen is positive you two glued your hands together because he doesn’t remember the last time he saw the two of you not holding hands

-Longggggg makeout and kissing sessions because neither of you know when to stop (nor do you want to)

-With the tip of your finger you’ll trace little shapes or pictures into his skin

-His fave (non mouth) places to be kissed are his shoulder/bicep, just under his collarbones, nose, the heel of the palm of his hand. Also when you pepper his cheeks with kisses

all i want is to marry jumin han and run interference for him at every dinner he has to have with his dad and his dads new girlfriend like i worry that jumin is so sweet and diligent and hardworking there isn’t much I can give him but what i can do is pull chairman hans new girl aside for “girl talk” and pretend to like literally anyone for the express purpose of jumin getting to spend more genuine quality time with his dad. i don’t think chairman han is a bad dad he just losses himself when it come to girls

NOOOO BUT FR CHAIRMAN HAN SOUNDS SO SWEET LIKE HE JUST WANTS REAL LOVE I DON'T GET HOW EVERYONE HATES HIM

HE DOESSS. he's done very questionable things but when he's outside of jumins route, all he wants is to find love 😭😭

this is phenomenal art but also every time i see him with the eyepatch thing i want so desperately to draw him an eye on the patch like every fiber of my being screams to do it like kiss the patch and then use a sharpie to draw and overly sparkly giant anime eye on the patch maybe with a heart pupil or something preferably with every possible color of the rainbow

shooting star babie