I Have So Many Kunikatai Headcanons So I Thought I'd Share Them!

I have so many kunikatai headcanons so I thought I'd share them!

-they met in middle school

-started dating first year of high-school

-got married(illegally, kunikidas idea) in the autumn following graduation

-it was a very small wedding, consisting of the two of their parents, and a few friends from school

-it was in katais favorite Cafe, a very small place that not many people know about

-they don't live together for safety reasons

-only yosano, ranpo, and fukuzawa know

-kunikida doesn't often wear his wedding ring in fear if it getting damaged

-sometimes katai will force him to play various video games with him

-kunikida really likes stardew valley and similar games

-kunikida let's katai braid his hair sometimes

-katai sucked at first but he's surprisingly good now

-T4t kunitai

-kunikida had a 'rebellious phase' type thing in high school

-and a short emo phase in middle school

-his teachers liked him for being a smart student but hated how often he got in trouble

-he would beat up anyone who made fun of katai

-katai would always tell him not to bother doing that but would absolutely do the same if anyone made fun of kuni

-kunikida helps katai cut his hair

-katai visits the agency one day and ends up telling everyone about kunikidas high school years

-everyone is absolutely shocked (minus ranpo ofc)

-kuni frequently gets kicked out of libraries for arguing with the librarians over how the books are arranged

-They meet at the school nurses office!!-katai had a very bad panic attack and kuni got into a pretty bad fight

-school nurses kinda suck tbh so kuni helps katai with his panic attack

-they become good friends after that

-or they could meet in a school counselors office for the same reasons

-they'd probably bond the same way too bc school counselors suck more than school nurses(Like seriously though, once my old school counselor told me that I was being selfish/a selfish person for being suicidal)

-kunikida is totally the type of guy to just throw random compliments into any sentence he can

-katai let's kunikida sit under his futon with him

-pillow forts!!!!!!

-autistic kunikida

-katai does his best to help

-like, talking for him as best he can when kuni goes nonverbal

-and offering him looser clothes when his feel bad

-MOVIE DATES!!!!

-And arcade dates!!

-Kunikida frequently has to drag Katai away from those because he keeps destroying little kids in games

-Dazai and Chuuya were on an arcade date of their own and ran into them once

-it turned into a double date where Katai tried to beat Dazai at every game possible and the other two just watched and cheered a lil

-katai hates pda

-kunikida also doesn't like it much, he thinks it's weird and unprofessional

-they cuddle a lot at home tho

-they both confessed at the same time

-kunikida said that he had something very important to tell katai

-katai said that before that he had something to give kunikida and hands him a letter

-kuni reads the love letter and is just like.."i...I was going to say the same thing.." and looks away blushing

-kunikida proposed

-he took katai out to a very small Cafe that hardly anyone knew about

-they ordered food and talked a bit and once katai got comfortable being there he proposed

-katai obviously said yes

-they got married (illegally) a few months later

-Katai said that he loved kuni first

-kunikida would have said it but he got too nervous about making katai uncomfortable

-katai didn't mean to say it but it accidentally slipped out

-Katai has social anxiety

-Kunikida helps as best he can, bringing Katai things so he doesn't have to go out and talk to people as much

-He still forces katai outside

-They go on walks every evening or so

-Kunikida does most of the cooking

-Katais not bad at cooking, but he just doesn't

-They lay in bed and listen to music together

-When kunikida was a teacher Katai would stop by and bring him lunch after his missions sometimes

-Kunikida taught advanced middle schoolers algebra and paet timed at the agency after

-his students were shocked when they found out

-Kunikida got arrested for protesting and breaking off those spikes cities put up to prevent homeless people from sleeping a lot

-Katai bailed him out every time

-Kuni became pretty decent friends with a couple of other people who frequently got arrested for similar things and some of the cops who repeatedly arrested him

I probably have more but that's all I can think of right now!

I have a headcannon that the Orphanage regularly committed tax fraud. And a bunch of other crimes along lines.

And that they had the older kids do it for them as part of their chores. That place was shady as hell and the Headmaster used to work in the criminal underground.

I rest my case.

So just imagine the Agency being given a case to investigate the place.

And usually they wouldn't be given such a thing but it's this sneaky operation that's been going on for years.

And the police are just baffled and beg the Agency for help. Ranpo puts on his glasses, solves the case but doesn't tell anyone.

He's too busy laughing his ass off.

So Kunikida and Dazai are sent.

And they just find Atsushi, one of the oldest kids at the Orphanage sat at a creaky old desk.

Case closed.

Dazai has to leave the room because he's laughing so hard. The Headmaster tries to blame the kids for it. Which obviously doesn't work.

Atsushi makes a comment about does that mean I have to go back to my cage? Which starts a whole other investigation and the Agency end up taking him in.

Aside from the murder, Dazai and Atsushi have completed the same amount of crimes. Hell Atsushi's might be higher, they just don't know the exact amount he's done.

Dazai is very proud of this fact while Atsushi is embarrassed.

"Come now Atsushi you should be proud of your accomplishments."

"They're not accomplishments!"

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Ranpo you didn't know you needed. -Nix

I think my skeleton is ready to hatch

Bsd where Atsushi is one of Oda's children.

Oda survives because Dazai gets there in time and shoots Guilde himself. It's not till much later that they learn one of the kids is missing.

Oda found Atsushi after he'd escaped Shibusawa and was in the city. After the Dragons head incident so Oda doesn't know which Orphanage Atsushi came from.

Oda is hopeful he can find him and Dazai promises him that they will.

That was 4 years ago. Both have since joined the Detective Agency. Odasaku is out accompanying Ranpo out on some case out the city when Atsushi shows up in Yokohama.

Dazai doesn't recognise Atsushi because any pictures Oda had of his kids were destroyed. And they didn't meet prior.

Atsushi knows of him, and is suprised Dazai's in the Agency. He doesn't say anything, given no one else knows about Dazai's past and Atsushi doesn't want to upend that.

That, and the Headmaster had sewed seeds of doubt in Atsushi's mind about whether his dad ever loved him.

"If he cared for you so much, why did he leave you? Your birth parents abandoned you, so did he. The world has abandoned you Atsushi, you were not made to be loved."

So Atsushi's afraid if Dazai knows who he is, he'll be dropped from the Agency.

Dazai is sus, because hmm random orphan child who has a father in Yokohama. But he isn't from here... And he has the same name as my friends missing child.

Hmm????

He could outright ask him. But where's the fun in that? That, and Atsushi shuts down whenever his past has been asked about.

And Dazai doesn't want to upset him. He also doesn't want to call Odasaku until he knows for certain.

It all comes ahead when Kunikida makes a comment about Ranpo and Odasaku's case being over and that they would be heading back in a few days.

And Atsushi looks terrified. He practically runs out of the building and to the dorms. Dazai goes after him, concerned at his reaction. He figured with how lonely Atsushi clearly was that he'd be escatic.

But he's terrified.

"Dazai I... I can't talk right now I have to go."

Atsushi looked so small and afraid, clutching a bag of his meager possessions. "And you can, I'm not stopping you. But I'd like to talk first. If you still want to go, I won't stop you."

That calms Atsushi down a bit to sit down. "I'm guessing Ranpo's not the reason you ran out of there." Said Dazai. Atsushi shook his head, looking down in shame.

"I know Odasaku, he's a great friend of mine. We go way back in fact and I can tell you quite confidently that he's not a threat to you."

"I'm not scared of that..." Said Atsushi, he's given up hiding what Dazai has obviously figured out. "I don't want him to hate me, more than he already does."

"Why do you think he hates you?"

Atsushi looks at Dazai, tears in his eyes. But Atsushi won't cry, because kids who have been abandoned by there parents don't have the luxury of crying.

"Because I failed him. He... He went to his job and these men showed up..." Atsushi hugged his knees, the memory painful to this day.

"We all got put in a van it blew up. The tiger saved me but I couldn't save the others, not Kyousuke not Sakura...."

He couldn't save any of them, only himself.

"I got up, I went as far as I could before I passed out from the pain. I woke up in a hospital. The Headmaster was there, he took me back to the Orphanage. And that da-... Oda had abandoned me in the wreckage."

So that explained that. Odasaku had never legally adopted the kids, so of course they called the Orphanage.

Dazai felt a unique mixture of anger and sadness. Anger that Atsushi suffered, that Odasaku had suffered. Anger at that Orphanage and if Odasaku didn't kill that man Dazai would.

And sadness. Sadness that Atsushi had suffered, that Odasaku had suffered and Atsushi was so afraid Odasaku wouldn't want him.

"4"

"4?"Asked Atsushi confused. "4 years, that's how long Odasaku has been looking for you. He's been searching for you day and night since he found out you might be alive."

Dazai had never seen Odasaku so distraught as the day his kids were killed. He'd have walked to his own death.

But hearing Atsushi could be alive, that sliver of hope had ignited life back into Odasaku's eyes. Maybe that's partly why they'd joined the Agency to begin with.

Dazai looked Atsushi in the eye, needing him to believe him. "Odasaku would never knowingly abandon you. He thought you were dead, he ran off guns blazing for revenge. And you did not fail him."

Atsushi processes of all of this. Hope ignited in his heart along with the fear. He wanted so desperately to believe it was true.

Dazai said his piece and waited a while before asking if he could tell him. Atsushi nodded, putting his things away as Dazai stepped outside to make a phone call.

"I've found him."

Oda came barrelling into the room a lot quicker than he should've been able to. The moment his gaze found Atsushi, tears welled up in his eyes.

"You're alive."

The sheer relief in his voice bought tears to Atsushi's eyes, because Dazai was right. He wasn't abandoned, he wasn't hated or forgotten.

"Dad!"

Odasaku caught Atsushi as he ran into his arms. He sobbed into his embrace, and Odasaku wasn't much better. Hugging his boy, his son in his arms for the first time in years.

"I'm here, I'm here. I will never, never let you go again. Atsushi I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Sobbed Odasaku. "I thought you'd hate me, that you didn't want me." Said Atsushi and Odasaku shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"Never, I could never hate you Atsushi."

Dazai watches them with a soft smile before leaving. They'd have a lot to talk about, but for now they were together again and that's all that mattered.

He had another phone call to make.

"Dazai, is everything alright?"

"Everything fine Ango, more than alright actually." Said Dazai, and as if reading his mind Ango smiled. "He found him, didn't he?"

"He did, which brings me to my call" the smile on Dazai's face shattered to pieces. "I need you to find the bastard responsible for taking Atsushi away."

"Tell me what you know so far. We'll go from there."

The Headmaster and all those involved was going to pay for this.

The Guild would probably crumble too the moment Odasaku found out about Atsushi's bounty. But that was for another day.

my favourite ship dynamic is “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” but you can’t tell which is which