I Have A Headcannon That The Orphanage Regularly Committed Tax Fraud. And A Bunch Of Other Crimes Along

I have a headcannon that the Orphanage regularly committed tax fraud. And a bunch of other crimes along lines.

And that they had the older kids do it for them as part of their chores. That place was shady as hell and the Headmaster used to work in the criminal underground.

I rest my case.

So just imagine the Agency being given a case to investigate the place.

And usually they wouldn't be given such a thing but it's this sneaky operation that's been going on for years.

And the police are just baffled and beg the Agency for help. Ranpo puts on his glasses, solves the case but doesn't tell anyone.

He's too busy laughing his ass off.

So Kunikida and Dazai are sent.

And they just find Atsushi, one of the oldest kids at the Orphanage sat at a creaky old desk.

Case closed.

Dazai has to leave the room because he's laughing so hard. The Headmaster tries to blame the kids for it. Which obviously doesn't work.

Atsushi makes a comment about does that mean I have to go back to my cage? Which starts a whole other investigation and the Agency end up taking him in.

Aside from the murder, Dazai and Atsushi have completed the same amount of crimes. Hell Atsushi's might be higher, they just don't know the exact amount he's done.

Dazai is very proud of this fact while Atsushi is embarrassed.

"Come now Atsushi you should be proud of your accomplishments."

"They're not accomplishments!"

Yuyii_Ju apprieciation post

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Ranpo you didn't know you needed. -Nix

Dazai and atsushi both try to kill themselves on the same roof, at the same time

Tw for su!cide obviously

This is pretty bad but in my defense it's like, 2am right now.

Word count: 457

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It was a sad night, nothing particularly bad had happened, and it hadn't been raining, it just felt sad.

Dazai stood on the edge of the rooftop. He was hoping to finally succeed in killing himself. He'd been trying for years but luck had never seemed to be on his side, but tonight, tonight he would succeed. It was a perfect night for a suicide attempt, dark, cloudy, a little bit foggy, no one would interrupt him tonight.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the fall. He took a small step closer to the edge, this was it, finally. Just as he was about to fall he heard the door to the roof creak open. Turning around. He saw a familiar head of white hair staring at him.

"..Atsushi? What are you doing here?"

Atsushi didn't respond, he was trying to gather his thoughts. He had finally worked up the courage to do it, he'd wanted to just give in and kill himself for years, but he always got too scared and stopped before he did anything fatal.

"Atsushi?" He was snapped from his thoughts by Dazai calling his name.

"Oh- uh, y-yeah, Dazai?"

"What are you doing up here this late, Atsushi?"

"Oh, right, me. I'm.. I'm here to.. uh-" he hadn't considered the idea that someone could be here already so he hadn't bothered to come up with am excuse for if he got caught. "I- I'm here to enjoy the view! Yeah, the beautiful night sky! Isn't it great from up here! Ha...ha." He knew that he was not convincing anyone with that pathetic excuse, especially Dazai, who already figured out what was going on.

"..The view is nice from up here, you're right, although, I'm sure that's not actually why you're here, is it?" He sits down a few steps from the edge, patting the ground next to him to signal for Atsushi to sit next to him.

Atsushi sighs, "You're right, it's not."

"I assume you're here for the same reason as me, right?"

Atsushi doesn't respond and Dazai takes that as a yes.

"Well, I guess if neither of us are gonna succeed tonight there's no point in being here, huh?" Dazai stands up and stretches, and Atsushi follows after a moment.

"I guess not."

"Man, all this trying to kill myself has really made me hungry, let's get something to eat and..talk a bit, sound good Atsushi? My treat~!"

"Yeah... let's do that."

And with that, the two of them made their way down the building and out to find some restaurant that's still open at 2am.

Maybe tonight hadn't worked out the way they wanted it to, but it still worked out in the end.

I thought of this a while ago and thought I'd draw it

A boop cat to live on your blog!!!!!