Literally Would Give Anything For This. Modern Goth Fam In Any Variation Will Never Not Be Insanely Funny

Literally would give anything for this. Modern goth fam in any variation will never not be insanely funny and just borderline insane

none of this is proofread but here's my ideal modern au for the goth fam. wall of text incoming, sky is blue, etc.

mihawk: World's Most Reluctant College Professor. history/archaeology. reluctantly employed because his place of residence (half-wrecked castle) is owned by the university and one of the terms for him to live there for free is to teach classes. initially hired as a publicity stunt that petered out. actual respected swordsman in the modern age but the reality is "swordsman" is... not very lucrative. really important to me that he is forcibly employed while having gigantic unemployed energy.

his ass is not showing up to a lecture hall unless under extreme duress (shanks showing up to his place unannounced again🙄). fully aware his papers are only taken as a credit filler (robin lectures the papers that are more practically applicable). almost exclusively "teaches" by emailing out reading lists and assignments. actively trying to get his students to drop his paper so he can do fuck-all for the rest of the year.

zoro: phys ed major. he's so serious about his main courses as well as mihawk's stupidly niche paper. probably the first person the "Dracule Mihawk Teaches Here!" publicity stunt has worked on in years. has trouble with the heavy focus of book-smarts this paper requires but powers through it best he can until mihawk sets some indecipherable tome as part of a reading list and zoro is like. okay. you leave me no choice.

he fully shows up on mihawk's doorstep at 9:44PM on a tuesday night brandishing this tome. mihawk answers the door because he is two bottles into his wine.

zoro, furious that this piece of shit tome has no audiobook alternative: this. YOU. explain. NOW. mihawk: a student. at my doorstep. did shanks blab to you. zoro: your address is publicly listed as a minor tourist attraction. mihawk (<- didn't know that): hm. come in.

zoro is treated to a full drunk history session and the supermarket gift wine mihawk has been avoiding but accidentally opened. he wakes up the next morning and zoro is still there in one of the guest rooms. he's like what are you doing here and zoro is like. i don't have a whole day to waste getting back to my dorm i need to do your assignment.

mihawk, fully aware the dorms should only be a max twenty minute walk away: interesting. get out.

safe to say, zoro thinks visiting mihawk's home is easier than emailing him. which is true in some ways since mihawk takes small joys in putting unread emails straight into trash.

perona: fashion major OBVIOUSLY. really interested finding vintage/archival sewing patterns/designs and modernising them. LOVES using essays as outlets for her rants. blase on everything else in life but takes her course so seriously. HATES zoro ever since he almost made her fail an assignment because he had checked out a book she needed and held it for fucking aaages.

similarly zoro hates perona bc she almost made him fail an assignment by hogging the only lightbox on this side of the campus that makes it possible to read some of the archival material mihawk puts on his impossible reading lists.

zoro gets lost in mihawk's castle and meets perona in-person for the first time outside of a name on a booking sheet and they have a huge stupid argument. zoro storms off and accidentally finds mihawk again this way and he's doubly mad because he can't believe mihawk has been chasing him away all this time while letting another student just live in the east wing.

mihawk (<- didn't know that): there's a what.

turns out perona just said "umm dorm fees? rent? in this economy? there's a wrecked castle 20mins away from campus it's free real estate". and she's right. she also finds out mihawk has staff access to archival materials not readily open to students and she immediately whips out a wishlist.

anyways i imagine perona graduates and becomes a fashion designer. zoro decides booksmarts is not for him and drops out to focus fully on a professional athlete career or make his way as a stuntman. models for perona on occasion. mihawk fully quits his job after those two leave bc they were the only ones in years that made it interesting. retires but robin recommends him as a consultant to the museum society and he does some work there. ALWAYS calls zoro or perona if he's restoring smthng cool he thinks they would love.

jfc are you still here. i kiss you on the lips

Although I love tiny malnourished Mihawk challenges Rayleigh to a fight, loses and then becomes unceremoniously adopted and hold him very dear to my heart.

I do generally think that Unlike Zoro who challenges gods to back alley fights at every opportunity, Mihawk has always been very good at knowing when he’s horribly outclassed and having the patience to wait and grow stronger before challenging the world’s greatest swordsmen. There’s a reason his skin (as far as we know) is unblemished and Zoro is practically held together by scars and alcohol.

So I do think this will make it all the more devastating for him if when he loses, Zoro gives him three clean slashes down his chest to match Shanks’ jagged ones, and then doesn’t kill him. Mihawk’s never lost before at least not in any meaningful definition of the word. He’s never had lasting scars before and now he has three giant ones running across his chest, the thing he loves to show off, and he has feelings about it.

I mean this with the utmost respect; but I truly believe that Mob Psycho 100 could only have been written by someone that “can’t draw” but truly loves to draw.

And as someone who is the opposite of that I truly appreciate it.

It’s about doing the things you love to do even if you aren’t good at them and not doing the things you’re great at “gifted” even simply because they don’t make you happy or fufill you.

Reigen really looked Mob, the quintessential gifted child, in the face and told him “you don’t have to do something just because you’re good at it, your powers aren’t who you are” and the body improvement club tells him “why give up just because your bad at it? You’re having fun aren’t you?”

Mob Psycho looked the world in the eyes and said you are more than your talents. Being something isn’t who you are it’s a choice you make and you’re allowed to make a different one everyday.

God the way he launches him.😭😭. He would

Garp voice (probably): "being trapped on a pirate ship will build his character and make him become a strong marine!"

Sorry. After I posted this comic here I got a lot of funny comments and I just had to doodle more stupid things.

Also, Roger looks naked without the moustache.

Here's a continuation!

The only reason the Marines are completely sure Mihawk isn’t a vampire is because he has a reflection and they know this for a fact because he is constantly stopping, mid report, to admire it.

This to me is obviously Bucky and Steve. Like this is Bucky in Civil War, not quite Bucky not quite the Wintersoldier just someone looking for peace.

His memory is spotty at best, still comes and goes. He remembers the good times but he remembers the horrors as well, he’s not sure what’s real and what’s not. Doesn’t quite know when the torture started or which one it was. Which time was he saved by Steve and which time did he lose his arm. It all blends together.

he doesn’t always remember Steve and Captain America are the same person, he can’t remember their differences either. But he knows that they both make him feel the same way. That one of them, both? Is a promise of safety. That he could weep and never stop and they’d still be there.