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Imagine if there is a cross guild, red haired pirate and Strawhat three way Davy back fight. And Mihawk and Zoro actually do get matched up but instead of a sword duel like they’d be hyped up for it’s a gun fight. And the only person that actually nominated a gunnman, Beckman, is the red hair pirates.

The first half of the competition is just Yasopp teaching both of them how to actually shoot a gun while Beckman watches amused at the identical look of upset on the swordsmen.

(This was all Shanks plan so he could go all get Mihawk on his crew)

While I do so love the image of Mihawk as a blushing virgin bride bashful about all things sex and PDA. I cannot lie to myself.

This is a man that takes off his shirt to put on his jacket before heading outside. He has never known shame a day in his life.

Mihawk finally gives in and agrees to sail with Shanks and half his first day aboard the red force is spent learning that no actually, ships don’t just sail on vibes .

And the second half is spent deciding that Mihawk shouldn’t be allowed to map out routes because while their sure they’d somehow magically get there nobody actually knows what the fuck island 30 degrees left of the rock where seagull 368 lands at 2pm every Wednesday and Saturday to fluff its feathers means.

Building Snake is following him around observing then hastily scratching down notes in a notepad. Shanks has once again denied his request to study Mihawk under a microscope

Okay so I had skipped forward to zou briefly before so I saw the drawings Kanjuro did to climb the elephants. Only to go back to Dressrosa and discover that this dude has been able to make things that can fly the whole time 😭

Like babe what even. What was the recipe? you just ain't want to see that dragon win.

Also love that cavendish goes my horse can only really carry 3 people max and Luffy just gets on soldier sans shoulders. And they'll say my boy isn't genius. Icon

Adapt and overcome baby, adapt and overcome

I'm steadily learning that alot of the names in One Piece I just accepted as real common world names are in fact essentially made up.

And it really makes you think.

I was in the One Piece twitter community for 1 second saw the Shanks vs Mihawk poll and already knew it was a hateful space.

As someone simultaneously watching Egghead and Dressrosa it really cannot be overstated just how much One Piece animation has stepped up.

Like y'all were in the gutters before but now? Toei heard WIT was coming in for the reanimate and said we gotta show em something.

This. is . not . a . fucking. game.

Do you think the marines had no idea about the humandrills and so when they pulled up on Kurigina and had to face an army of expertly skilled swordmonkeys they had to reevaluate everything they thought they knew about Hawkeyes.

a Marine writing his report like “unbeknownst to the world government Hawkeyes has apparently been secretly training an army of monkeys to sword fight in his spare time and has proven to be very successful as we lost half our men to them.”

And so now their little Mihawk files, that requires its own filing cabinet, contains the the questions;

Did he teach the monkeys to sword fight or does he control the monkeys like puppets?

How did he teach the monkeys to sword fight?

Some kind of animal control devil fruit?

Hawkeyes can communicate with animals?

Is he actually part hawk? Part monkey???

Marines animal fighting division, when?

Could Garp train dogs to brawl?

Can Garp get his own army of monkeys or steal Mihawk’s? 🥺

Luffy really will stay answering the phone “Hello This is Monkey D. Luffy Future King of the Pirates.” He will give you his name his address his social security number and his future job title. He stay manifest destiny.

And honestly? He’s right. Let the people know my boy

I think we as a people deserve to see Usopp and Buggy in the ring, that would be the true event of the Strawhat x Cross Guild Davy back fight.

Their round would be about who could tell the most outrageous lie that would allow them to trip and fall upwards in life. And never before would we have seen two titans of their field go head to head like this.

Look at this absolutely insane motherfucker. There is something deeply wrong with him 🥰

umh. okay

So, I Watched Challengers and I am now very obsessed with Tennis AU Mishanks.

Because I think Mihawk is very Tashi coded and their whole relationship stinks of Art and Patrick, like what if your lover was also your greatest rival.

But also, and stay with me here, the hilarity that would between Mihawk's never had a day of media training ass and the hungry for even a scrap of a story Morgans magazine press.

Just imagine Mihawk's P.R team and Manager (Probably Buggy and Croc respectively) trying to put out the fires from the walking P.R nightmare that is one Dracule Mihawk? The shitstorm he would reign on all their heads when he announces that he thinks a newly limbless shanks is less of a player and he will never play him again.

Crocodile would have to resort to creating an entire crime syndicate to give Morgans more salacious news than Mihawk's latest pr fuckup. The only reason Buggy starts a circus is to distract the masses from his worst client. Mihawk gives not one single fuck.

Mihawk: You’re being a child.

Shanks (on shot what? of gin) : You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Dracule. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you?

Mihawk:....

Shanks: A Pedophile.

Mihawk:……

Shanks (drinking the gin bottle dry) : And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert.

Mihawk: ……..😑

Safe to say that Shanks is no longer allowed to drink gin. Because, As it turns out, spirits turn him into a bit of a mean drunk

Finally back on my dressrosa watching shit. And was immediately greeted by thislovely site.

What an unhinged maniac 🥰.

I am god's strongest soldier and this was my reward for fighting his hardest battle (not skipping to whole cake).

Bartolomeo is actually just me if I actually got to see Zoro stunt on a dude, hit a pretty boy smile and pose like he knows he's hot shit while declaring in his smooth baritone that he will be the world's greatest one day.

I would also 100% not know how to act and would also like his autograph.

The fact that transponder snails are apparently also just captive wild snails. Is……..a choice.

Because what even are the logistics of this? Can all snails become transponder snails? How do they change clothes so quickly? Is there a transponder snail accessory store where you can get matching outfits and accessories for your snail like we do with phones? Are they sold or can you catch one wild? Do you need to train it? Just on what airwaves are they opperating. Is there a radius they can only take a call within? Do you have to pay for connection like are the snail 🐌 plans? Do you have to buy all the accessories the snail would need to change into or are they home made? Or does it just do that. Do you have to have a phone dedicated to people you call often so the snail can constinstently stay dressed that way? Because Doffy had hundreds. Are snail phone accessories a billion dollar business?

And finally what are the ethics on breeding snails soley for communication? And how do you even begin to do taht? Who was the first person to look at a snail go; you, 🐌? I have have plans for you. Who was that crazy bastard.

I think Mihawk would be a psychologist wet dream

Like what the fuck is exactly wrong with him? Who fucking knows not them.

Like he is literally just this scene from b99

Rosa and Amy are obviously represented by Benn and Shanks respectively and this is a red haired party with another crew. Benn was assigned to making sure an overstimulated mihawk doesn’t kill anyone duty while Shanks plays the ever gracious host. Who knows why the psychologists are there I don’t

Why is senor pink actually the man tho? Like dude really abandons the battle mid fight cause his opponent told him there was a fragile old lady that needed some help. I mean ho can I not respect.

And the fact that Franky knew he would go help I mean that's a bro right there. Enemy lies can't stop their brochemistry

things would have turned out differnet if this man baby raised doffy alone I know it. 😔✊