No, I Mean Everything That I Say. Because, You Seeas You Can See Right Nowday By Day, Literally Day By

“no, i mean everything that i say. because, you see—as you can see right now—day by day, literally day by day, i'm dying a little more inside,”

✧.* lovestruck in the city (2020)

Thank you for writing the way you do,ive always been mesmerized by the way you express yourself. Thank you for making what little time i have left enjoyable bcs i really cant take this life anymore and i dont know what to do

take everything this cruel life throws at you, take it until you bleed and cry. you're only human. take it even as you tell yourself you can't take it anymore, so that you can see just how much you can really take. take it until your bones grow weak and your body grows numb, because you'll still be able to take it. take it until life stops throwing, because it will. maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, it just will. live so that you can see the day this cruel life finally leaves you alone, live so that you can see just how quiet it'll be. live so that you can discover the beauty life has to offer, i promise there's so much of it. i'll never sit here and tell you not to be weak, that others have it worse than you, i know that's the last thing you wanna hear. these words of yours are the last thing i wanna hear. fight just a little longer, if i'm wrong about this, take me with you when you go. fight until you notice the color of the sky at five in the morning, or until you perfect your cup of morning coffee, or until you laugh at strangers' arguments on the internet. the big things will tear you apart, but the little things will always put you back together. please don't give up on yourself. i would never give up on you, and i never will. i love you, you are so loved. you don't know me, i don't know you. let's fix that, message me so that we can talk. message me until you're sick of me, take all of your anger out on me and give me every inch of your pain. just talk to me, don't give up. not now, not ever, because you are loved and worthy of it.

Wait. For context, who is Zico and what did he do?

hello ml!! zico is a famous producer and rapper. he debuted in 2011 as the leader of “block b” and eventually grew as a solo artist around 2014-15 but block b disbanded around 2018. he was also a judge on i-land and basically formed the groups “boynextdoor” and “enhypen”. you might've heard some of his solo songs because they're catchy, unfortunately. he has a song with jennie (blackpink) called “spot!”, another one called “okey dokey” with mino (winner, mobb). aside from him embarrassing seolhyun (AOA) (his ex-girlfriend; they were caught dating by dispatch and he denied it all to save his reputation which led to embarrassing her), his blatan racism (wearing a confederate flag jacket, said the n-word in his 2010 track “if i ain't got jjanggae”, said one of his talents is “talking like a black person”) and homophobia (saying the f slur), zico appeared on a show around 2016 with JJY aka jung joonyoung, the ringleader of the burning sun scandal. to make a long story short, zico and jjy were very good friends (he was good friends with a lot of the cunts involved in that scandal). to make a long story even shorter, he said he had seen/was looking at jjy's “golden phone” which is what jjy ultimately had been using to distribute videos and photos of women being drugged and raped. zico denies seeing any of the footage, which i and anybody with 2 brain cells find hard to believe because they were close, and the phone was deemed golden for a reason. jjy literally confirmed that zico scrolled through the phone hours and hours on end, just to say he didn't see any of what was happening. i loved block b back in 2015 and listened to them with my dad, and some of zico's songs stood out to me but it's very important to not trust idols, especially the male ones, just because they portray themselves a certain way. zico has always been known for lying to save his own ass no matter who pays the price for it, just like the situation with his ex i previously mentioned. as you may know, goo hara, (KARA) may her beautiful soul rest in peace, had her house broken into not too long ago. she played a vital part in helping a journalist uncover the horrors of the burning sun scandal. not too long after, she ended her life. she died a hero and the entirety of korea failed her miserably. her house was broken into just a while back and, what do you know? zico is the prime suspect

THE FACT THAT KEEHO TWEETED THIS SENDS ME I CANT I ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS AT LEAST ONCE A DAY AND CREASE

MORE MORE MORE (더 더 더) (DRABBLE)

✧.* 16+

jungkook fell in love with korea when he was twelve years old. by eighteen, he knew he had to see it all. he wanted to see how his story would unfold. so, he took the risk and the fall. his memory was restricted to a polaroid, all the bad ones drowning in a void. he wore his smile on his face and his heart on his sleeve. he said to his father, “i wanna stay, but i have to leave.”

he loved his daddy and his love for his wife, he grew up in awe, wanting the same life. his mother was pretty, he knew that was true. how good she looked, black and blue. it was all jungkook wanted, a life of his own. a woman like her to claim his heart, so he wouldn’t spend life alone. he noticed her hands that trembled and such, how her skin was ice cold to the touch. “don't worry, you'll make do,” he had whispered. “dad's gonna take care of you.”

you met him somewhere in daegu on the thoroughfare. you saw him, the glint in his eyes and the wind in his hair. maybe it was what god had in store, a route that connected two places and more. your clothes were ripped apart, he couldn’t help but look. he wanted to help you, actually. no matter what it took. he could see it, the pistol under your belt. thought it was cute when he clutched it, damn near made his heart melt. “i’ll take you anywhere, don't run,” what what he said. you took the offer, out of luck to spend.

he asked you, “wanna see the west with me?” love was out there, and he couldn’t leave it be. he drove fast, you could feel the wind in your hair. everything was gone—every issue, the need to care. love never meant much to you, but you agreed, “sure, maybe i’ll find love, too.”

you could feel your heart beat as you made your way to seoul. maybe you were healing, you could feel it in your soul. you remembered thanking god for time well spent, with your hands pressed together, jungkook saw how much it meant. asked if you believed in christ, you told him “sometimes, i do.” his gaze grew cautious, almost iced as you asked him, “what about you?” he didn’t answer at first, his stomach tying into a knot. then, he said, “even the iron still fears the rot.”

he didn’t care much about jesus, he just wanted to find love. he knew it was up to him, not the man above. you drove to find his lover, day and night. every little diner saw you, and things just felt right. when the moments were still in motels that were cheap, it was then that you noticed something that made your heart leap. you had started to see jungkook in a different light. for the first time since you were young, he was a man who didn't bite. told you, “i haven’t left busan in a long time, but now that i’m with you, it feels like a good sign.” could've sworn god was real when he felt you—tight, welcoming and warm, too. you loved yourself for sinning, something you were used to.

maybe it was real, you wanted it to be. you took your chances and risked it for everyone to see. thinking god had your back, just had to keep your faith all along. just like mommy once said, “put your trust in god and all your burdens will be gone.” you had lived through so much, this was a chance like no other. a love that no one could give, not even your own brother.

blessed be the daughters, suffering eternal through the sins of their fathers. blessed be their whore mothers, crying and angry with bated in a motionless ferry. blessed be the children, each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence that says they’ve won. blessed be you, girl, promised to him by a man who only felt hatred for you again and again. you were your father’s girl just for a while, but he left you the curse that made him hostile. the man who felt hatred must’ve been him, he had given what was taken. then again, it could’ve have been god, maybe satan. you could barely tell the difference between them, that much was blatant.

forgive me father, for i have fallen in love. it wasn’t love, it was never love. but he had stopped listening long ago, the man above. you were foolish to think he was on your side, what you should’ve done was run and hide. but it was too late, your cards were dealt, something too long has passed since you last felt.

he was cruel to you, but it was all knew. what was the worst that could happen to a girl that was already hurt? you noticed the cross on the wall with a frown, since he had turned it upside down. he was a believer, that wasn’t a lie. he loved the man who opposed the sky. maybe it wasn’t his fault, he wanted love with a golden hue, but too many times had he watched daddy beat her black and blue. i want a love like that, he thought. he would get it from you and leave you to rot.

the chamber was dirty, the world was ending, yet you seemed to be the only one fending. the cuffs were tight and your body was bare, but to him it was right, he didn’t care. he liked it when you were scared. you didn’t fear for long, to jungkook’s surprise. he had stopped seeing tears in your eyes. instead, you felt something you hadn’t in a bit. it was the feeling you felt each time you got hit.

you wanted more, everything he had to give. you wanted more, it didn’t matter if you’d live. he had all of his options and still chose you, but he was sweet in ways no one knew. when he’d kept you fed and warm overnight, even if it meant beating you black and white. he’d clean up your scar and wrap it up nice, but every gesture meant a bigger price.

you were raw, exposed, as you hung from the wall. you were broken, bleeding, because he had done it all. don’t talk to strangers or you might fall in love, that love will be there when push turns to shove. he didn’t give a damn about you, that much you knew. he wanted you to hurt for what your faith had put him through. even the iron still feared the rot, hiding from something you couldn't stop.

licking your wounds, it was all you could do. counting your blessings until he was finished with you. you counted your curses until he was done, but the list just continued on. he wanted to hurt you, he thought it was fair. he was his daddy’s boy, and you weren't going anywhere.

✧.*

does anybody else shit halfway then suck it back up to pretend namjoon's fucking u in the ass