Suffering Is A Terrible Fire, It Either Purifies Or Destroys - Oscar Wilde

Suffering is a terrible fire, it either purifies or destroys - Oscar Wilde

(insp)

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES   DARYL & CAROL

They were in the living room, Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Carl, Carol and Judith. Everyone was talking, but Carol wasn't really paying attention, she had Judith in her lap. She held Judith's hands as she tired to stand, but she would ultimately flop back down onto her bottom. Judith grabbed Carol's collar and patted her face, than something unexpected happened.

"Mama" Carol froze "Mama, Mama" Judith repeated. The room grew quiet as they all tuned to look at Judith. Carol felt something tighten in her chest as she looked at the babbling infant smiling back at her.

"Excuse me" she said, as she passed the little girl over to Michonne. She got up and went out the front door to stand on the porch, leaning against one of the posts to give her support. She could feel tears burning at the back of her eyes, but she didn't want them to fall. She heard the door open behind her, and his footsteps approach.

"You okay?"

"Yeah" she responded, but her voice betrayed her, sounding strained and cracked. He came to stand beside her, not touching, but his presence was a comfort.

"When Sophia first called me that I was so happy. She never said Dada, even though experts often claim that it usually a child's first word, but Ed spent very little time with her, so that wasn't much of a surprise. No, it was always Mama, right from the beginning." Daryl was thoughtful for a moment.

"You spend the most time with her, outside of Rick and Carl."

"Yeah, I understand, but it stills hurts." They stood there for a few moments, Carol fighting her emotions, Daryl trying to be supportive, then Carol felt the tears falling unbidden down her cheeks. Daryl put his arm around her, she turned and finally let herself sob upon his shoulder.

(A03)

Choices   Chapters 3

Jorah did not see her for two days. His anger had long since burned away, now he was just worried about her.

He saw her on the third day in early evening, she was carrying a bundle of firewood.

"Karcia" he called. she turned at the sound of her name, when she saw who it was it looked like she wanted to turn and flee, but she didn't. He jogged over to her. She kept her bundle between them.

"Karcia, I was worried. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I have been staying with a friend."

"A man friend?"

"Yes" he felt a bolt of jealousy shoot through him "and his wife and three children." Relief washed over him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I'm sorry too. Perhaps we can continue this somewhere more private." He came to realize that they were drawing their fair share of interested stares. He took the bundle out of her arms and placed it on the ground, than he took her hand and lead her through the camp, back to their tent. Once they were alone and standing face to face she couldn't seem to look at him, she looked around and than began to pace.

"Jorah the Andal, I don't know if you noticed lately, but I am different."

"Different?"

"Quick to smile, quick to anger, quick to be jealous. There is a reason for this" she took a deep breath "I am with child." Jorah's legs grew week. He sat on a wooden stool, the only thing other than the bed and floor to sit on.

"My child?" He asked, half question half statement. She faced him, looking him directly in the eyes.

"Jorah the Andal, you are the only man I have been with. The first lover I have had in many years." A child. He didn't know what he felt, shock, confusion, fear and happiness. Karcia sat down on the bed facing him, her face solemn.

"Are you not happy?"

"I am afraid" She looked off in to the distance, she seemed to be deciding something "I was pregnant once before, with the Khal. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect in every way, except one leg that twisted inward. Do you know what my people do with babies not considered normal?" she asked in a detached manner. He nodded, any babies born with deformities were left in the wilderness to die.

"I begged the Khal not to, I said in time the leg may heal, but he would not listen. When he took my son from me I screamed, and screamed. Later the women would tell me they had never heard such screams, like a tormented animal. Afterwards I prayed to the Great Stillion, I prayed that he would not send me another child. He answered my pray, for I never again bore a living child for the Khal. But now..." He got on his knees in front of her, his hands caressing her face.

"Please listen to me, I am not the Khal. No matter what happens I will never abandon our child, I will defend them with my dying breath if need be." She gave him a sad smile, her eyes filled with tears, and he pulled her into a desperate embrace.

(chapter 1) (chapter 2)

GLIMPSE OF AFTER

She was finally feeling better, and her head was clear. Then they told her about Glen's death.

"When?"

"A few days ago. We didn't want to tell you right away, to give you time to recover"

"No" she said, cutting Rick off "when exactly did Glen die?" Rick and Daryl exchanged looks.

"Five days ago" answered Daryl. Five days, the timing was right, but it wasn't real. Rick kept talking, but she wasn't listening, her thoughts were in a different place.

__________________________________________________________

Over the next few days she started making forays out of bed. Rosita said she needed to take it easy, but she couldn't stand to sit still for so long. When she ventured out Daryl would hover, afraid she would get hurt again. She did laundry, which turned out to be more exhausting than it should have been. Daryl made her sit on the couch afterwards, he sat on the chair near her, the two of them sharing the silence.

Maggie entered the room. It was the first time Carol had seen her. She looked terrible, there were dark circles under her eyes, she was pale and she seemed to radiate a profound weariness.

"I'm so sorry, Maggie." Maggie nodded her head in acknowledgment, and eased down on the other side of the couch. Carol knew what it was like to be without words.

"Why did you ask when Glen died?"

"Maggie..."

"Rick said you wanted to know specifically when Glen died, why?" Carol sighed.

"It's going to sound strange, I don't want to burden you with it."

"I want to know" Maggie stated, looking at her intently. Carol didn't know how to begin to explain, but she had to try.

"When I was out, I was having this dream. I was in this peaceful meadow, and Sophia was there, she was so beautiful" her voice cracked, and Daryl reached over and grabbed her hand. "The girls were there too, Lizzie and Mika, all three of them pulling me along. Sophia was talking, telling me everything was okay now, that I could stay there with them. In the distance I could see people sitting at picnic tables, they were laughing and smiling, like they were having a party. I saw Merle," she smiled at Daryl, "Dale, Andrea, Lori, Beth and your Dad." She continued, looking at Maggie.

"Suddenly Glen was there, standing next to me. I knew that wasn't right, that he shouldn't be there. He said to Sophia 'Your Mom's not ready, yet. You need to let go', they released my hands, everything started to fade away, and then I woke up." Carol brushed the tears from her cheeks, Maggie was doing the same.

"What day was this? That you had this dream."

"The same day Glen died." Maggie broke down then, sobbing. Carol wrapped her left arm around Maggie as she cried on her shoulder. Daryl still tightly held her right hand. The three of them stayed there a long time, riding the wave of grief.

(A03)

Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved

(insp)

Choices    Chapter 1

Note: I am saving this here because of issues at AO3

He was awake, but he chose to lay still. The early morning sun filtered in through the tent flaps. He could hear the sounds of the camp awakening, people moving and talking in hushed voices, horses neighing for their breakfast, the smell of meat being fried.

She moved in the bed next to him. She rolled unto her side facing him, smushing her face into the pillow, eyes still closed in sleep.

He still wondered how she came to be his bed partner. She was the opposite of what he was normally attracted to, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and yet they had traveled half of Essos together.

She had been a Khaleesi once, than a member of the Dosh Khaleen. when Daenerys had returned to Vas Dothrak, amassing a great khalasar, she had offered to bring her west with her. Karcia, still being young, agreed.

That is how Jorah met her, just one of many new faces surrounding his Queen. Daenerys had forgiven him, and allowed him to become a member of her Queensguard. However, things were not the same, he was no longer her most trusted adviser and she often did not heed his counsel. She was constantly surrounded by men vying for her attention. He had often seethed with frustration.

One night, after an irritating council meeting he found Karcia alone by the fire. He found himself telling her his thoughts, about his mistrust of the council members, his resentment of his position and his unrequited love for Daenerys. She had comforted him, and that night they shared a bed for the very first time. The next day she moved her things into his tent.

They were moving in a great mass of humanity across Essos, Daenerys' mighty horde, a strange mix of Dothraki, Unsullied, sellswords and freedmen, plus hundreds of women and children. When she had decided to leave Meereen behind, Daenerys had said any who were able to make the journey were free to join her. It had taken many weeks, but soon they would reach Pentos, meeting Daenerys' ships, that would take them across the Narrow Sea, that would take him home.

Karcia stretched in bed, than opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Jorah the Andal." She said giving him a quick kiss. She almost always called him that, like the Dothraki did. The only time she slipped, and called only by his first name, was in moments of passion.

She crawled out of bed, and began to dress.

"I will see about getting us some food." She returned a short time later with a plate heaped with meat and bread.

"You are still abed?"

"I find myself reluctant to leave it this morning."

"Then we shall break our fast in bed." She slide across the bed offering him first choice of the food.

"Do not worry, Jorah the Andal, soon we reach Pentos, and then you go home." He gave her a wistful smile. They ate in silence for a while.

"Tell me about your home, Jorah the Andal."

"I have told you many times."

"No" she insisted "you have told me about Westeros. I want to know about your home, where you grew up, Bear Island I believe you call it."

"Bear Island is wild, but welcoming, cold, but beautiful. I lived in Mormont Keep, a castle" she gave him a confused look "a building like you would find in Meereen or Pentos, but not nearly so grand. Bear Island was a good place for a boy to grow up. I learned how to hunt, fish, sail" he sighed "I only wish I had appreciated it more. When I was a young man I dreamed of going south, of adventure in far flung places."

"It is only natural for a son to want to see more than his father, to venture further a field."

"Perhaps, but now all I want is to return to a home where I might not be wanted." She thought about it for a moment.

"Even if you never see Bear Island again, it must be nice to know you had a home, and it will always be there. The only home I ever knew was my parents tent."

"What about the Khal's tent?"

"No" she said adamantly "that place was never a home." He had thought as much. She rarely talked about her time as a Khaleesi, and she never mentioned the Khal.

"I have know few enough places to call home, only my parent's tent ... and this one" she quietly added. She considered being with him at home? Before he could think how to respond, she had taken the plate and exited the tent.