Jack: If I Die, My Funeral Is Going To Be The Biggest Party Ever And Youre All Invited.

Jack: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited.

Daniel: If?

Peggy: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

This disclaimer pops up whenever I start talking

Peggy: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Jack: Next time you’re working out do 15 pushups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Daniel: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Peggy: You love me, right, Daniel?

Daniel: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

important question: what is ur sexuality and what style and color converse do u own (this is for science)

Daniel: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Jack: Okay, but in my defense, Peggy bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Daniel: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Jack: What? No! You’re the one farting bubbles.