Source: Brooklyn Nine Nine - Tumblr Posts
Qrow: oh shit wait hey Blondie.
Jaune: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE, SPECIFICALLY IN MY SONS CLOSET?!
Qrow: wait.. this is your house... Shit thought I was in Tai's... Anyway mind if I-
Suddenly Qrows face was met with the barrel of one Milo owned by Pyrrha Nikos
Pyrrha: Qrow.. I'm only going to ask this once. LEAVE OR I WILL TURN YOUR CORPSE INTO SWISS CHEESE!
Qrow:... Can I atleast get some beer.
Jamie (Arkos son): *age seven, clutching his blankets* Daddy, there’s a scary man in my closet!
Jaune: *comforting fatherly tone* Jamie, it’s okay…I’m sure there’s nothing to be afraid of…!
Jamie: No, daddy! He’s tall and skinny and he’s part bird!
Jaune: *walks to the closet door* Here, I’ll check in the closet and make sure there’s nothing in there!
Jamie: Daddy, don’t! He’s really scary!
Jaune: *opening the closet door* Jamie, your dad is a trained huntsman! I’m sure I can keep you safe from whatever-
Qrow: *in the closet* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Jaune: 😱 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Jamie: 😭 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
“The new plan is... no plan! We wing it! It’s probably not gonna work, but I said it with a lot of confidence!"
— Viggo
Rowan: Just be careful.
Aelin: Always am.
Dorian: I respectfully but firmly disagree.
Peter: Scott freaked out because I told him I never drink water, so now he’s making me drink 8 glasses a day.
Peter: I mean, there’s water in soda, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water on pizza…
Jean: …That’s grease, Peter.
Peter: Well, it’s wet, isn’t it?
*The X-Men getting drinks to celebrate a victory*
Peter: I've got to go.
Scott: Aren't you forgetting something?
Peter: Uhhhh...
Peter:*kisses Scott and walks away*
Scott: …
Scott: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
Arthur, making Merlin suffer through the knight's training routine: Are you crying?
Merlin, panting heavily: No...that's eyeball-sweat.
Hoseok: Here are two pictures - one is your room, the other one is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?
Jungkook: ... T-that one is the dump?
Hoseok: THEY'RE BOTH FROM YOUR ROOM! ( ಠ益ಠ)
Jin: The only thing I'm not good at is modesty. BECAUSE I'M GREAT AT IT.
Sanji: Here are two pictures - one is your room, the other one is a garbage dump in the East Blue. Can you tell which is which?
Luffy: ... T-that one is the dump?
Sanji: THEY'RE BOTH FROM YOUR ROOM
Magolor: Susie, where have you been? You left your cell phone in your desk and I assumed you were dead.
Susie: Uh, I would clearly be buried with my phone.
*the Jade Winglet visiting the ice kingdom*
Qibli: wow, Winter, this is how you live?
Winter: what were you expecting?
Qibli: I don't know, rock walls, weapons everywhere, a waterfall for a door, I guess I was just picturing the Batcave.
Peril: why do you need a vase full of lemons?
Winter: the room needed a pop of color.
Moon: who are you?
Jesper: Here are two pictures. One is the Fold. The other is Kaz's soul. Can you tell which is which?
Wylan:......that's the fold?
Jesper: They're both Kaz's soul
vader: You could have died
luke: I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be!
vader: You are violent
luke: Yeah but I’m short, so it’s adorable
luke skywalker: Remember when you told me to not burn the Imperial Palace?
darth vader: You burned down the Imperial Palace?
luke skywalker: No I had the fire out almost immediately
luke skywalker: This is a success story
wednesday: i’m actually deeply in love with enid and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have pet names.
ajax: we are you telling me this??
wednesday: because no one will believe you.
Bruce: he wants to talk about his feelings… I’m not good at that.
*flashback*
Tony: I’m just feelings so hurt and shocked, and I don’t know how to react, and… Are you climbing out of the window?
Bruce: *has half climbed out of the window* …No.
wednesday: i’m actually deeply in love with enid and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have pet names.
ajax: why are you telling me this??
wednesday: because no one will believe you.
Aaron: Life is a party, and I’m the piñata.
Percy: Look, we've been fighting for too long
Clarisse: True
Percy: Let's just agree to apologize on the count of three.
Clarisse: okay.
Percy: One. Two. Three.
Clarisse:
Percy:
Percy: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.