Kriimuline-blog - Luulud

Obsessed with this post

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I bought a book with extremely modern and relatable translations of Sanskrit poetry from 2,000 years ago

Sometimes Ireally need to remember this. That my life is worthwhile. Especially when people from my LARP-community are insulted or just sad I choosed to not go on their game. Or when I stay home instead of literature-event that actually seems nice and I want those people to come to my own book presentation. When I feel I forgotten and out of loop. But hey. I'm doing my own best and I cannot do any more. I am what I am and if I feel better home, shit, I have every reason to stay there and rest. Every. Reason.

your time is worthwhile if your disability means you have to rest most of the time. if you can only do a few events a month, or a year, that's alright. if you need to sleep a lot, lie down a lot, that time isn't wasted. it doesn't make your experiences any less meaningful. feeling like you're missing out on different activities doesn't make the ones you do any less worthwhile. being disabled and restricted in activities doesn't make you boring or diminish your worth. there's no threshold for things you have to do to "really experience life" - you experience it by being alive. and every disabled life is a life that's worthwhile

Beauty. I can create some. It hurts - but hell. I need to find some meaning in life. Not like those who enjoy living, who just live and maybe even fear death. If living feels good, you need no reason for it. But if it does not - well, then we need to create beauty.

disco elysium grabbing me by the shoulders: "listen, everything is going to end and it's inevitable so do something beautiful while you still have the time. look at the men playing petanque in the bomb crater, look at the guy composing poetry as he imagines being with his wife and kids. there's a woman making dice in the chimney of an old commercial area. those kids are making music inside of a church. paint a wall, sing karaoke, play board games. everything is going to end but in the meantime something beautiful is going to happen. and maybe even the giant bug is real in the end."