The Power Of Acknowledgement And Validation

The power of acknowledgement and validation

Being an 8th house moon/venus, life got really messy many times. Things happened suddenly, my emotional state was chaotic and it felt like whatever happened in my life path was out of my conscious control. It felt like my life was destined to unfold like that, with all the good and bad, and each downfall would be a turning point for me to emotionally and psychologically reinvent myself.

Growing up, unaware of psychology and astrology, I repressed and normalized all the toxic behaviours i saw in my surroundings. During my 8th house ruler's time period, all that debris came up to the surface and I began to process my trauma.

This is when I realized the power of acknowledging and validating someone's life experiences and emotions. This is when I learned how powerful it is when someone validates your trauma and acknowledges your feelings. Especially for 8th house natives who crave deep bonding yet find themselves alone in the crowd, occult can be a powerful tool to connect with their feelings and subconscious world.

I have seen one Saturn in 8th house native in pisces sign suffering because they dont trust in self healing. Their life was full of ups and downs, delays, struggles, long lasting health issues, life threatening events. Saturn made them disciplined, hard working, pushed them to their limits. But it also restricted their emotional state. It made them repulsive to healing. They are stuck in emotional patterns of self destruction and self sabotage. I read their birth chart and tried to acknowledge their feelings.

But I also learned that people dont change until they are ready to change. That is a tough thing to do. Very tough. Change comes from deep within. And it is a lifelong process. This is why venus in 8th house is famous for changing after each relationship. Because the change comes from within. The desire to genuinely want a better relationship. Their lover exposes to them everything that is wrong with their psyche. They bringe forth everything that was hidden from their conscious awareness. These natives then begin to fix things. This is healing.

Earlier I was really critical of occult communities and called them bullshit. But now I empathize. I understand that different people find validation of their feelings from different sources. Some find from watching tarot videos on YouTube, some from reading tarot spreads, some from astro communities, some from professional help.

I also find it funny how once upon a time I was the girl who used to message my birth chart to astrologer for them to read mine and tell me things about my life. I was so clueless when I saw my birth chart. But now, after healing, after going though 8th house period, after seeing rock bottom, I can naturally read my own birth chart. I can use my intuition to navigate astro. I can read other people's charts and connect them to their behaviour. I am better able to read people. Earlier my perception of other people was totally messed up. I would invest myself in wrong people, give my heart and soul to them and then face betrayal that would break me into pieces.

So, yes, validation of life experiences, being heard, being seen, being acknowledged are really powerful tools for emotional healing.

Hi, I seen your Venus in the 8th post. Do you think it’s possible for Pisces Venus to become cold. I always see that Pisces venus can be giving which can lead to getting taken advantage of/become a doormat. Do you think after constantly getting done wrong they can become cold?

What happens after constant challenges in life?

I was thinking of sharing some self reflection insights so here goes nothing:

When people go "cold" on others, we tend to think that they "suppress their emotions" inside but the right way to do it is to understanding your feelings, break them down to pieces, go through your emotional chaos, no shortcuts, self destroy, see your own potential to be a bad person, become cynical, get pessimistic, turn cold and isolated. This is one phase of life. The next phase is self development, making boundaries, not allowing disrespect in any form, withholding your weaknesses and becoming mentally strong. This is a journey. Pisces have reputation of being emotional and crybabies, but I have seen these natives being very reserved about their feelings and hiding it within themselves.

Pisces can be visionary, imaginative, living in a fantasy world, spiritual. Depending upon the house placement, if the venus is placed in 8the house, prepare for karmic turning points in your life back to back. Then self reflection and self destruction. Another thing I want to point out, no matter the birth chart, if you are surrounded by people who are using, abusing, taking advantage of you, please take a look deep within yourself. It is futile to try to change the outsiders. You have power over your mind. You have to know your unconscious forces. My have to know your unconscious desires. There is a reason why your psyche keeps attracting abusive people into your life. It is not because you are very innocent, but because you are unaware of your own darkness which attracts other predators. Once you identify your black holes and start healing them, you will automatically become calm, relaxed, have emotional control.

Emotional control = being cold? Emotionally unavailable = being cold? "Being cold" is a vague word although I am guilty of using this word myself. I think that the better way to understand this is that the natives with emotionally intense venue placements learn to control their emotions and THINK through them which makes them appear cold, or make them "feel cold" because they are not used to calm and peace. Sometimes when we are brought up and surrounded by drama and chaos, self control and peace look weird like boring detached status. "Cold" as in they don't show affection to their near and dear ones?

Also,a lot of the times we don't know what healthy looks like. So make sure that you are being mature and healthy.

Hii what do you think about a man with a Scorpio sun/mercury/rising, leo moon and a cap mars? would he be difficult to deal with? 💀

Hi, let's see. Hope you take him seriously or is he just a crush?

Scorpio ascendant, leo moon, scorpio sun = water and fire placements. Confident, assertive, fills the room with his energy, hard to ignore him in public, knows his place and takes it.

Scorpio ascendant = life full of ups and downs, becomes callous with age and experience,

Leo moon in 10th house = material security, hard working, career minded. Career has an important place in his life.

Mercury and sun in 1st house: Sun gives a prominent self identity and need to be the apple of the eye. His father was also similar and has a great influence on him. Likely identifies with his father's identity. Will be smart and easy to talk to, likes talking about spirituality as well.

Balanced personality between materialism and spirituality. Take care of his ego and let him be the "man". If he is a mature one, that is, he has stopped playing emotional mind games (scorpio are prone to this) then he will be a very good partner to have because of reliability and stability.

Prone to self transformations. Needs to shed his skin, needs someone who understands and tolerates his emotional turmoil and spiritual rebirth. Likely plays sports because of so much masculine energy. Mars in cap in 3rd house; something tells me he is academically successful. What are his qualifications? Depending upon the strength of moon, he will either have a great career or a fluctuating one. Regardless, career will trigger his self transformations. With change of career/job/promotion, he becomes a new person.

No relationship is perfect. Look at your own chart, needs and wants. Look what you can offer to him. He values his privacy and trust. He also likes mysterious, reserved, lowkey girls whom he can explore. Bit of darkness in him. Are you ready to get your hands dirty in his dark thoughts and feelings?

Astro notes about air signs

Air signs people have this desire to be in relationship with a lot of people at once. It does not mean that they will cheat necessarily. For that we look at the houses their air signs are placed in. For eg, water element houses will not make them cheat despite the impulse is there. So someone with Gemini venus in 4th, 8th or 12th house will feel the desire to date many partners but will remain committed to one person because the water house element balances the impulse.

Whether dating a lot of people is a "good" thing or not is really complicated to answer. A lot of people on internet claim to be polyamorous. A lot of communities have practiced dating/marrying many people at once. For eg, in Islam a man is allowed to marry 4 wives though for reasons of providership and preservation, many men might also do it for pleasure and personal fun.

But I am sure that all the air placements must have felt a wandering eye in themselves and been confused by it. Like one part of them wants to commit to one person forever and the other part wants to flirt, date and fool around with a lot of people. It has something to do with the nature of air signs that makes them independent, short attention span, attention seeking, unable to integrate their insecurities in constructive ways, unable to go deep within their psyche to introspect themselves, fear of rejection, wanting to be liked by a lot of people.

Air sign + water house/earth house will make them not cheat.

Air sign + air house (for eg Gemini moon in 3rd house) = multiple affairs.

You can study it yourself. Just pick up charts of people and see for yourself how different signs and house combinations manifest in different people.

Even if for cultural reasons or social pressure, they dont cheat, they will still feel the impulse and desire within themselves. They will be confused by it. Being able to date many partners is a luxury. Not everyone has the time, freedom, cultural settings, lack of responsibilities, lack of consequences, power, money, social connections to make it happen. Air signs also struggle with short term gratification over long term goals, so cheating for the uncertainty, excitement and adrenaline rush of it is acceptable to them over investing themselves in one person for long years, finding a cause to commit to one person and building an exclusive relationship for life.

Why do people commit to only person for life? (Water signs/water houses can answer it well). It is that possessiveness, merger of souls, deep connection, some spiritual insights into nature of relationship, knowing that betrayal will have karmic consequences in this life or next life, looking for meaning in life, personal values, personal morality and most importantly the mental peace.

Air signs don't feel "so deeply" that it starts to hurt them physically. They can jump from one relationship to the other not really feeling any emotional connection to them but for other reasons like excitement, mental stimulation, adventure, fun seeking, run from boredom.

Best thing is to accept this complex as a part of you and find activities in your life that somehow satisfy this impulse. Like exercise or a lot of hobbies or anything to do with a lot of airy energy to satisfy this craving.

Coming to terms with mental image: how to become a whole person?

All of us have mental images of who we want to be, how we perceive our parents, how we see our partner and how we imagine our lives to be. For 8th house, scorpio natives, there is a tendency to demand perfection from life. These natives tend to have black and white thinking. They think in extremes. They are highly emotional and do emotional thinking. But you have to realize that these expectations from people and life are infantile. Tyrannical father and devouring mother traumatize their children because they just dont have a clear image of who a human is supposed to be like.

I am reminded of this anime episode. In this cartoon, the two middle school girls are obsessed with their love interest Yuziko. They imagine him to be perfect, that he lives in a grand palace, his family is perfect and he is always happy with his family. This is a classic case of black and white thinking. This kind of imagination is real in 8th house/scorpio natives. Take a look:

YouTube

Creepy Classmates🔖💡 | Yuzupi | Atashin'chi [ENG sub] episodes

Funny everyday life of a family of four🥰 ▼Subscribe here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu-e0BhvwvalZMVgda7dqRwCheck my channel for more v

The little girl Kawashima is like the personification of love life of 8th house natives. Emotional, impulsive, seeking perfection, obsession, full of insecurities, stalker behaviour, she does charms to attract attention from Yuzupi. She always lives in a fantasy world of her love life. She is projecting her animus on Yuzupi. Her parents are likely emotional neglecting and she is not loved for who she is. Kawashima also 'worships' her classmate, places her self worth of his treatment, seeks validation from him. In many episodes, they show her doing love charms to attract her lover. She transforms herself to become someone whom Yuzupi likes. She is also super jealous and controlling. It sounds pretty funny, right? But what if I tell you this is how Venus in 8th house/Scorpio girls actually behave in their love life? Let's be honest here.

So, my suggestion for these natives is to come to terms with the inner image of life. To love yourself the way you want to be loved by someone else. That rush and butterfly in stomach feeling you feel for your crush or partner?? You should feel that for yourself. Have self respect as a person. Know your worth as a human.

Friendly advice for 8th house/scorpio natives:

Stop trying to rationalize wrong behaviour. I know you are a fountain of empathy and always try to rationalize bad people's actions. No one is behaving bad to you because they have trauma. They behave bad to you because they choose to. They are grown up adults and they know how to behave with someone. So stop trying to rationalize their behaviours.

Next, you cannot change anyone. Even if a wrong person decides to behave right with you, they will not become right. They will stay toxic to those who will allow it. This is why you should have boundaries. Do not befriend people easily. Especially for people with deep emotional sensitivity, you take betrayal very seriously and demand utmost loyalty and honestly. While other signs do not care about betrayal, you are deep feeler and it hurts you in the deepest heart when betrayed.

So, keep boundaries. Take your time to match the words and actions of those in your circle. Only then befriend people. Trust very few. Write journals or vent online to anonymous strangers. I know from experience that I being 8th house dominant shared my secrets with some people and they ended up spreading rumors, gossiping, manipulating me, triggering my insecurities and reminding me again and again of my secrets in public. It was so painful to see the betrayal and shock that I vented my heart out to the wrong people.

Next, I realized that trust is something I treasure a lot. I cannot tolerate inauthentic people who are self centered, egoistic, selfish, liar, manipulative and exploitative. It is better to keep few people in my trust than to be the social butterfly. Never tell your secrets to anyone, unless you trust them for years. No matter how much someone pretends to be genuine and kind, they might be just pretending to get into your circle. When you have confident in yourself and have made peace with your traumatic past, you are less likely to attract predatory people who are looking for emotional and material exploitation from you.

So make peace with your past. Do not keep ruminating on the trauma. Subconscious rumination, venting, reliving the past, recalling the past, wishing things happened differently, going over the past again and again is bound to attract more abusive people into your life. These people are attracted to your subconscious patterns. Do not remain a victim. Do not seek pity. Do not seek sympathy. Be a strong person. Read stories of other people who overcame their trauma and built a strong character. Build up your personality. Do things that help you self actualize -- writing, journaling, art, sports, music, anything that helps you understand yourself.

These are some of the things I recommend to 8th house/scorpio natives. They will really improve the quality of your life.