Don't follow the advice here unless you're looking for creative ways to die.
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Life Tip #45
Life Tip #45
always teased for being short? start calling tall people names like “squirt” and “short-stack” ! not only will it catch them off guard, they’ll probably try to defend themselves only to be shot down again! let them feel the revenge of the under 5′2s !!
“wait, i’m above average, you can’t call me that”
“whatever you say, pipsqueak”
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More Posts from Lifetipsy
Life Tip #36
don’t waste your time trying to create weird concoctions to get old stains out of your carpet when you can just replace the entire floor! seriously, why would you bother spending $5 on dish soap and water when you can spend $5000 to get rid of it? brilliant. fucking brilliant.
Life Tip #37
always stock up on soap you can store in your bags so that way, if somebody particularly repulsive stands to close to you or tries to talk to you, you can just dump it on them!
pros: they now smell nice, have to find water to wash it off and get away from you, it’s not inconveniencing enough to be charged with assault, and it’s relatively cheap.
cons: ??
Life Tip #34
always pay over the amount required for your purchase so when they give you your change back, you can delude yourself into thinking that they’re handing you free money and be happy :))))
Life Tip #43
with halloween growing closer and closer, it’s time to pull out the list of amazing fun-filled family-friendly classic halloween movies! choose from titles such as:
1. the nightmare before christmas - the heartwarming story of a guy who stepped out of his comfort zone and ruined everything! truly inspiring!
2. mickey mouse’s house of villains - classic disney villains learn that if at first you don’t succeed, try again! and fail again!
3. it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown - heartbreaking! a kid reserves a seat for a giant pumpkin and he fails to show up. you hate to see this kind of thing.
4. hocus pocus - trying to impress your crush goes terribly wrong. a big fucking mood.
Life Tip #44
want halloween to stay all year long? decorate your house by dumping buckets of orange and black glitter on it bc that stuff isn’t coming off :’) ever