After Reading Your Last Post I Realised, Rhian Would 100% Be Into Those Trashy Wattpad Stories About

After reading your last post I realised, Rhian would 100% be into those trashy Wattpad stories about being kidnapped, hunted or sold to some hot ass hole. His reading lists would be a yaoi paradise.

[gasp] THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! I've never thought of that, but I had thought of the opposite once, about Rafal liking whump.

So—while Rhian wants to be the perpetual victim, like you say (does this mean that the modern Wattpad version of Rhian would literally be a masochist??? Or an "I can fix him" guy?) Rafal would read things from the torturer's pov. And neither would tell the other just how messed up their reading taste has become, even if Rafal wouldn't care about being viewed as a sadist.

Yet, if Rafal ever figured it out, he'd have to stop threatening Rhian with "appealing" scenarios though because he'd realize he's enabling the problem of Rhian's taste for red flags.

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Rafal: What are you reading, Rhian? [looks over Rhian's shoulder] Storian! Bleach my eyes out!

Rhian: The Evergirls say it's a fad among the damsels in distress.

Rafal: [in disbelief] That drivel? No, they look too innocent to enjoy what you read.

Rhian: Actually, they introduced it to me. It's called Wattp—

Rafal.exe has stopped working.

Rafal: [stands frozen with some human equivalent of a "blue screen of death" for an expression.] What else don't I know about? [He shakes his head as if thawing.] On second thought, I don't want to know.

Rhian: [shrugs.]

Rafal: [stops partway out the door as he leaves.] Wait. That doesn't mean the whole genre of tales with animals as captive princess's bridegrooms are... the Pen's... ahem, preferences, right?

Rhian: [quickly] Uhh—probably not.

I love these concepts! They're all very plausible. Though the Woods seem more forgiving than Gavaldon is, in regards to magic/sorcery, even if it were dark magic, so I wonder why their parents could've been murdered. Did you have a reason in mind?

And, actually, I have a WIP that's slightly similar although Rafal isn't a child (since it's set during canon instead), nor does he "vent" aloud.

what if rafal talked to birds when he was a child

Actually, I can see this and I had a headcanon/AU about it once, where that's how he connected with the stymphs.

You seem European. Are you?

No, my nationality is American. (Hope this doesn’t dox myself; some other things are guessable and others are probably less so, I would guess.) I just stay up late at night, eat late dinners unlike some Americans, like some phrasings from other places, and like some Western mythology and folklore—and my mom’s side of the family is European. I also like American History less than World History, but that’s partly because schools take so long to get through the minutiae of the American Revolution. I wonder if to Britain the Revolution is a blip in their history?

The Storian to the brothers, centuries ago: I've rescued you from mediocrity. Be grateful.

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Rafal to Rhian: I've rescued you from being alone. You have me. You don't need anyone else.

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"Rafal" to Sophie: I've rescued you from mediocrity and from being alone. Why aren't you happy?

Sophie: Were you ever happy?

Agatha: Did anyone ever bother to ask what we wanted?!

"Rafal": No? Why is that important?

rafal as a detective

Rafal: You may ask how is it that I solve crimes, my dear brother, and that is precisely why I'm bringing you along.

Rhian: I didn't ask.

Rafal: ...Ok, nevermind. If you must know, I'm only bringing you along because you may be the next target and can't stay home alone. So, come along, or stop dressing like a coxcomb in public if you wish to live. The serial killer's left a string of young men's corpses all across Akgul, decapitated with a different cutlass at every scene. Would've made more sense if the victims were women, if you ask me though. I mean, "cut lass?" The killer missed out on a prime opportunity for wordplay. It was right there!

Rhian: [his teeth begin to chatter and not just from the cold.] H-how d-d-d-do you know the killer is m-m-m-male? Is he handsome?

Rafal: [takes a drag on his pipe.] That's enough questions for today. I've developed a head cold.

Rhian: [lifts a finger triumphantly.] Aha! Must be the smoking. I know we're immortal, but I've told you to stop that. Smoking is a filthy, low-class habit, and I can't stand seeing you like this! Ruining your lungs for a one-man performance.

Rafal: I'm immortal. [He tugs the brim of Rhian's low, black felt, top hat down over his eyes.] Besides, what's there to see? You don't have to look, if it bothers you so much. Now, the key to catching a criminal is thinking like one—and most criminals smoke like chimneys, probably thanks to the stress of a life on the run. [He glares pointedly at Rhian.]

Rhian: [rights his hat again.] Perhaps, we should consult the Kingdom Council? [he asks hopefully.]

Rafal: The Council consulted me for a reason.

Rhian: At my behest.

Rafal: [ignores him.] Now, this fiend of ours must've pictured his victims facedown in a pool of blood as the murder weapon he left would've drawn a lot more to pool about, if not for the absorbent carpeting over this hardwood—

Rhian: That's quite a far leap to make, Rafal.

Rafal: [not listening] 'Course, something or someone could've applied pressure, to stopper up the open wound—

Rhian: Are you sure you're not just projecting your own fantasies onto the ki—

Rafal: Nonsense, you wanted me on the side of the law, didn't you?

Rhian: Not like this! You're becoming obsessive. You know there are real lives at stake, right?

Rafal: Careful what you wish for then. I will solve this case and catch that killer.

You're Bad at dancing??

I would say yes, usually, since it involves spontaneity and because I'm often stiff as far as movement goes. I also wouldn't want to make a fool of myself, so I avoid it. Did I give the opposite impression or shock anyone? I hadn't realized I had, assuming I'm interpreting your response correctly.