Effort

Effort

It's hard to find the balance between stressing on smth so hard, obsessing over every single detail and actively avoiding doing anything, and trying to just reach the bare minimum. Idk what this is called, but I have this problem, some kind of executive dysfunction maybe.

I need to stop masking, let people have a glimpse at the real me.

Crying any% sub 10 minutes let’s gooooo

Obligatory post, cause I haven’t felt like paying anything in a bit.

I’m insanely easy to irritate, because I finally figured out what I wanna do after finishing my apprenticeship, which is to study a very specific thing, but I get absolutely zero support when I talk about this to anyone. Like thanks dad for immediately pivoting to hours I need to work more.

Aside from that I’m thinking of doing something like a coffee diet, but possibly with juice also, cause I crave taste in my mouth. My oral fixation is really biting me on this stuff

Delusions

In a clinical environment or with close friends, I can share my hallucinations, because I know they are, they're external, foreign. But delusions are internal, they're part of me, I can't tell where the actual idea ends and the delusion starts. I know exactly what will happen when I share this, I will be told that all my odd beliefs are delusions, but I can't accept that. So what if they're weird or inappropriate, I can't just get rid of them, and why would I? Every single possible reaction scares me, so I just keep quiet and never know.

I THINK WHERE I COME FROM IS LEAVING, a 13-page hxh fancomic i made for @zine--garden. (thank you so much for having me T__T everyone keep an eye out for aftersales!)