Its Horrific. Awful Way To Die. Either Youre Trapped With No Chance Of Being Found, Air Running Out,

it’s horrific. awful way to die. either you’re trapped with no chance of being found, air running out, everyone around you suffocating, or the hull is broken and you get turned to jelly by the crushing ocean depths. ik they’re billionaires so it’s very contentious for me. generally i prefer no one dies horrifically. like just as a fellow human being on earth. but i dont think the ultra rich ever extend that mindset to others. climate refugees. and just everything. it feels like something a greek god would do to punish them. it has a certain swagful je ne sais quoi if removed from the human suffering which billionaires have to do philosophically to maintain their positions. very haunting. the hubris of it all. old jalopy metal tube steered by a mad catz controller. to go look at the titanic. which is nothing but a rusted out metal wreck full of fish and silt. btw. the grandiosity of it is completely unrecognizable. one has to wonder what compels ppl to even look at it in the first place. like the prestige of seeing some filthy grown over shell? crazy thing to die for. very textually rich… bad way to die as a human being. great way to die as a narrative about human greed and folly i guess. good job. mission accomplished?

you're not ascending to godhood you're just dehydrated

I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all. 

i wrote a little psa

“Not all men”

You’re right, Peeta Mellark would NEVER

the fact that when i do something i consider “wrong” or that’s something i wish i hadn’t done i feel the need to tell someone about it and i can’t just do the work and forgive myself on my own? horrendous

the fact that i feel the need to get someone else’s permission to forgive myself for things? horrendous

the fact that i have considered going to confession bc i know it would feel good to hear someone tell me i’m forgiven even tho it would just start the vicious cycle over again? horrendous