10. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nightwatch (1997)

10. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nightwatch (1997)

New year, new movies! In 1997, Ewan starred in three movies and all of them had some pretty bizarre plots lol. Let's start at the beginning with "Nightwatch"!

Genre: Horror/Mystery

Rating: R

Director: Ole Bornedal

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Nick Nolte, Josh Brolin

Synopsis: "Nightwatch" follows Martin Bells, a college student, who takes a job as the new night watchman at a morgue at the same time a serial rapist/murderer is on the loose. As the police hunt for the criminal, and more evidence is brought to light, Martin comes to the terrifying realization that he is their prime suspect!

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the main character Martin Bells. Martin is in college as a law student and is best friends with a mean, sexist, and inconsiderate (the list could go on) prick. Ewan has a female love interest and they have a couple kissing scenes as well as a really tender moment early in the movie. He speaks with an American English accent which isn't too shabby except when he gets scared and then he pretty much drops it lol. Speaking of scared, he spends a lot of the movie screaming, and crying. He has a bathing scene with no real nudity but if you pause at just the right time it's possible to see his package from afar. He also gets a public handjob, beat up, bit, and bound. In other words, you get a slew of very weak, vulnerable, and submissive Ewan content.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 52/102 minutes making his SP 51%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content? Yes. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes. Caveat: if you wish to be entertained then the movie will entertain you. But it espouses such harmful views of women that you might not be able to look past it and enjoy the story.

Warning before Watching: there is a violent murder within the first 3 minutes of the movie and another towards the end. There are close ups of mutilated, naked, dead bodies and lots and lots of blood. The movie is also incredibly sexist and revels in cruelty against women.

Where to Watch: You can stream the movie for free on Pluto TV or soap2day. It's available for rent on YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies, and Fandango at Home.

Closing Thoughts: This movie is in the horror genre seemingly because of the gore and suspense. The true horror of this film is the misogyny and general treatment of women. I was more disturbed and disgusted by the way the male characters interacted with the female characters. Mind you, this movie is not a cautionary tale. It is not about the pitfalls of sexism. The male characters do not receive comeuppance for their behavior. It is treated as natural. It is celebrated. We are to understand and sympathize with these chauvinists. We are to find humor in their hatred and charm in their cruelty. The funny thing is, you could (and I did) read a homoerotic subtext within the relationship of the two male best friends because they truly only love each other while their female love interests are just an afterthought. This movie is gross for all the wrong reasons and I will not be watching it again.

Twins?

Movie: The Island (2005)

Character: Lincoln Six Echo

Oneshot/Ficlet

Word Count: 382

Synopsis: Lincoln Six Echo encounters twins for the first time.

A/N: I am thinking about making a collection of oneshots for this character centered around his first experiences in the real world. Maybe call it “Firsts” or something. I also want to challenge myself to write a fic once a week so that I can improve my writing.

Lincoln Six Echo was taking a morning stroll on his local park’s walking path. His best friend, Jordan Two Delta, was still asleep when he left the house. Although they normally did everything together, he loved how peaceful she looked while sleeping and didn't want to wake her. He breathed in the fresh morning air and smiled at the joggers that passed him by. At the Institute, the clones participated in daily morning exercises. The harsh overhead lights and frigid air conditioning of the Institute could never compare to the soft glow of the rising sun and the cool gentle breeze of the outside world.

He then saw a woman walking towards him and pushing two large connected chairs with wheels. A "stroller" he remembered learning from Jordan Two Delta who loved talking to mothers at the park. Each chair seated a young child and as the woman drew closer, he noticed the children were dressed in matching outfits. Oh, Jordan is going to love hearing about this! He smiled at the woman and then realized that the children weren't just dressed the same, they looked exactly the same!

"I have never seen a clone this young at the Institute before. And the Institute was destroyed weeks ago, so where did she get a clone?" Lincoln wondered.

The woman smiled back at Lincoln and he stopped her before she passed him.

“Excuse me, ma’am! Your-your child has a clone. How is that possible?”

The woman looked dumbfounded at Lincoln, then at her children, then back at Lincoln before bursting into laughter. “You know what?” She laughed, “I've never heard twins called clones before but I guess they technically are! I'm going to start saying that just to mess with people. You have a good day, sir! And with that, she continued on her way.

Lincoln was just as confused as he was before but he didn't want to chase the lady down for answers. "Twins, she said. Is a twin like a clone but not a clone? What is the difference?" Lincoln pondered. If only McCord was still alive. He always had the answer. Maybe Jordan could help him understand.

"The more I learn about this world the stranger it seems." He thought. Lincoln shook his head and started back home.

13. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Velvet Goldmine (1998)

Happy Pride Month!❤️🌈❤️We've made it to 1998 and can take a breather because Ewan only made two movies this year. How appropriate that on the first week of Pride Month the first review is the LGBTQ film "Velvet Goldmine"! I swear I didn't plan this. Maxwell Demon must have arranged it in the stars 😏. Also, I came across three different runtimes for this movie. The version I watched had a runtime of 1 hour and 58 minutes so the Screentime Percentage is based off of that.

Fun Fact: Toni Collette co-stars in this movie. She was in "Emma" with Ewan!

Genre: Musical/Drama

Rating: R

Director: Todd Haynes

Starring: Christian Bale, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ewan McGregor, Toni Collette

Synopsis: If you're someone who doesn't like musicals because of the "unrealistic" factor then you'll be happy to know that's not the case here. The movie is a musical because the characters are singers/musicians and they perform throughout the movie. The film is about British glam rocker Brian Slade who fakes his own death and disappears from the public in the 70s. Ten years later, Arthur Stuart, a journalist, is given the task to unearth what really happened to the rockstar and where he is now. His search brings him in contact with former stars who knew Slade and causes him to reflect on his own tumultuous past.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Curt Wild. Curt Wild is a gay American man who's the lead singer and guitarist of his band The Rats. Brian Slade is greatly inspired by Curt and convinces him to collaborate on some projects. Eventually, what starts as a professional relationship blossoms into something more. Ewan speaks with an American English accent for this role which sounds a little funny at times. He has long blond hair for some of the movie which I like. He has two male love interests and a kiss scene. There's also one sex scene and one implied sex scene. He pretty much never wears a shirt and in one scene even strips nude while performing! And yes, that means you get to see his penis. Speaking of performing, he sings thrice and two of those times are full performances. Fun fact: he sang all of his vocals live instead of lip syncing to a pre-recorded track while filming! As far as acting, I think he did well with the limited amount of screentime he had.

Screentime Percentage (numbers are rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 20/118 minutes making his SP 17%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes, even though he doesn't have much screen time, he makes the most of it. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes, it's a great LGBTQ movie! Plus, the soundtrack is infectious.

Where to Watch: "Velvet Goldmine" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. It's also currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the account SELVA BEATS. Just search "Velvet Goldmine 1998 filme raro leg". Heads up: the movie has Portuguese subtitles that can't be turned off. Lastly, you can pirate the movie on soap2day.

Closing Thoughts: This movie makes me go Wild (pun-intended😉) with each watch. The music, costumes, performances, acting, EVERYTHING makes my heart pound. When I watched it for the first time I said the same thing Arthur did in the movie, "That's me! That's me!" It's been 26 years since it was released and in 2024 I was able to say, "That's me." I felt hope. I felt less alone. And I know I'm not the only one who saw themselves and felt the same. "Velvet Goldmine" is a beautiful movie in every way and well worth a watch.

I'm getting a hoop earring like his today in honor of the man, the myth, the legend, my favorite actor, Ewan McGregor! 🥳💞💞🥳💞💞🥳

HAPPY EWAN MCGREGOR’S BIRTHDAY TO ALL THOSE WHO CELEBRATE

3. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Doggin' Around (1994)

This is Ewan's third and last movie of 1994. Three movies in one year is impressive for a burgeoning actor and that's not including the television series and short film he was in that year as well. Unfortunately, his last project of 1994 didn't end on a high note for me.

Movie Review: Doggin' Around is a television movie starring Elliot Gould and Geraldine James. The movie is about Joe Warren, an American jazz pianist, reluctantly performing a tour short notice in England's less than desirable venues after the main act suddenly dies. He is put in the care of ex-jazz singer, Sarah Williams, who has sworn to never sing on stage again. Though they don't get along at first, the duo slowly open up to each other as they work through problems from their past. On paper, the movie sounds fine, but the truth of the matter is this movie is so boring and the acting is god awful! First of all, Joe Warren is an insufferable character. I kept saying to myself "No one talks like that!" The delivery of every single line out of the actor's mouth sounds stilted and manufactured. He sounded like he wanted you to know he was acting which just takes you out of the movie because of how unnatural it is. For a character whose charm is supposed to come from his witty and sarcastic humor, there was not a single joke that landed for me. There was only one joke that got a positive reaction from me. Mind you, I didn't laugh. I just thought "that wasn't a bad joke." The movie is slow. Even though we follow Joe Warren on tour, the sets all look the same so it feels like we stay in one place the entire movie. Also, the visuals are grey and dull. The one good thing I will say about this film is that because it's about a jazz musician we get to hear a lot of jazz in the score and the selections are enjoyable.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays a minor role as the character Tom Clayton, a double bass player who still has a lot to learn about show business. He accompanies Joe Warren on tour as his bassist and is eager to make a name for himself even if it means stepping on Joe's toes. Ewan doesn't have a lot of lines in this role though it is fun to watch him energetically pretend to play a bass. He also has long silky hair which was becoming his staple hair style during this era. His performance was good though short.

Screentime Percentage (All numbers are rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 10/89 minutes making his SP 11%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is this movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? No. Is it worth watching in general? No.

Where to Watch: Doggin' Around is currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the account "Ewan McGregor Vault". Just search "Doggin' Around 1994, with Ewan McGregor". Be warned that the quality isn't great. There are a couple moments where the sound cuts in and out as well as one moment where the visuals briefly cut out.

Conclusion: This is my first really negative review so I want to remind everyone that this is just my opinion. This movie is a skip for me but others have given it some very positive reviews. Don't be afraid to give it a watch and come to your own conclusion. If you do, I'd love to hear your opinion! But if what you're looking for is Ewan content, then I'd suggest you look elsewhere.

For the last week, I've been working on an Oliver x reader fanfic and tonight I finished it! I'll be posting it tomorrow. A wonderful coincidence that this came across my dash. 😁

Ewan McGregor & Mélanie Laurent

Beginners (2010)