MC, As Shit My Friends Said In Highschool

MC, as shit my friends said in highschool

MC, to Mammon: Yo, remember that time I microwaved scissors? Wanna try again?

Lucifer, without looking up from his newspaper: absolutely not, unless you're prepared to pay the bill.

MC, walking in W/ a smoothie: I saw god at the hospital yesterday.

The brothers in unison: well, did you punch the bitch?

MC: BEEL!don’t eat the ground water, you’ll get dysentery and DIE!

MC: If there was a kid in front of me I'd hit it.

Luke: (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠) (jk, Luke is bebe)

Mammon has a lot of bad habits but his favorite one is feeling the need to touch you. He loves the way his scent is always lingering on your body because he has been hugging you. Mammon is enamored with the way his hands fit perfectly with yours and it's always comfortable to hold each other.

He couldn't acknowledge it at first,he thought it was normal since "yer my partner of course i want to touch ya!" Seemed like something normal to him and everyone. It was normal but not like this.

How could he resist the urge to feel your warmth? He needed to hear your heartbeat, listen to your voice, smell your blood, feel your body by his side. Those were normal needs for a demon.

And who were you to deny the demon what he wants?

You always gave in to the biting,the scenting, everything he did to feel you was perfect.

He was perfect when his eyes turned darker whenever someone's scent sticks to you, he was perfect whenever he asked for permission to touch you and he was more perfect than anyone when he said "Thank you,love" after he scented you back with his smell for everyone to know that he is yours and you are his.

Solomon is shit at maths, change my mind, like, for what other reason would he be fucking up spells, and potions, and COOKING, which all require the use of mathematics, in some form or another.

Obey me, but five seconds in we've already lost our soul to some demon who promised us a dose of the *sniffs* good stuff (gender)- because holy shit these daemons absolutely radiate it. And NOW we're sitting outside Lucifer's office as the The Big Three reel from this our idiocy and Sol gives us a pat on the back bc we just broke a speedrunning record 🥳 🎉

Lucifer: Mammon, MC! Aren't U two supposed to be studying, and, furthermore, I thought I banned poker.

MC: Luci, we are studying, this is maths, it's a probability study :D

Lucifer: *blood vessels practically boiling*

Satan: sounds fun, deal me in

The brothers sitting down for dinner (minus MC who is spending the night @ Purgatory Hall)

The brothers: ...

Beel: I miss MC

Belphie: yea...

Mams, standing: yea let's go get 'em-

Asmo, to everyone's surprise: tut tut tut, now, I think we should give our darling MC a bit of time away, don't you agree, Lucifer? Nothing can harm them with angels, and a powerful sorcerer about.

Lucifer: yes... Yes I agree (?) With Asmo, for once (?)

*some time passes, and Asmo's smirk keeps getting more, and more devilish to the point where the brothers think it's horny hours and wish to leave, immediately*

Next day

Asmo: MC darlin, how was ur stay? Did you do anyone particularly fun?

MC: dontcha mean anything?

Asmo, smirks, and whispers but not really: No, no I did not. Did you seriously think, as the Avatar of Lust that I didn't know that my two favourite humans who both share a pact with me were getting it on last night?

The brothers: *jealousy mode activated*

MC: ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)/

Asmo: Now while I admire your taste, I am also extremely disappointed to be left out! I thOuGht we We WEre FrieNds!

Mams: friends don't fuck.

Asmo: clearly you don't have any good ones, or any at all.

*chaos ensues*

@ Purgatory Hall

Luke: what did you and MC get up to last night, Solomon?

Sol: Oh nothing much kid.

*Later*

Raphael: nothing much? That sounded like quite the complex game of Twister.

*bye bye coffee, and bye bye Simeon's outfit*