The Call.

The call.

The response:

We support ship's rights, but we also support their wrongs!

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.

@brekkersfeed asked — Kaz or Inej

“You came back for me.”

“I protect my investments.” Investments.

“I’m glad I’m bleeding all over your shirt.”

Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa

[Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo]

Book Crowley really is the most character ever.

He doesn’t need sleep but he loves it so he keeps doing it. He slept through the entire 14th century because he hated it. He answers to “Hail Satan” with a little wave and a “Hi”. He actually wants to listen to classical music but it keeps turning into Queen. We don’t realize he has yellow slitted eyes until he’s frantically searching for Aziraphale at the burning bookshop. He keeps a nice, spacious, modern flat just because it’s the kind of flat the human he pretends to be would have. He bought a great sound system and forgot to buy speakers for it but made it work miraculously. He keeps a fully stocked fridge with food that never goes bad just to keep up appearances. He loves Mary Poppins and tries to emulate her as a nanny. He was casted out of Hell. Deep down he is an optimist who believes the Universe will look after him. He hasn’t forgotten he was an Angel once and still tries to go good. He actively tries to keep people from getting harmed. He hates guns. He questions God’s plan but still trusts there is one and maybe he has a part in it. He was friends with Da Vinci. He went to Spain, saw what the Spanish Inquisition was doing and proceeded to get drunk for a week.

I want to study him like a bug under a microscope.

#The holy trinity of queer agony

#Aziraphale didn’t know he was starving for Crowley’s love until he tasted him.