Why So Blue?

Why so blue?

I watch her as she walks around, as she talks, as she laughs. I watch her but she never sees me in return. I try to call out to her, get her attention, but she doesn’t notice me.

She can’t hear my voice behind the glass. So all I can do is watch her, living about her life.

 Not long ago, I was her and she was me. But one day she reached out to me and when I took her hand, our eyes met for the last time. One last time she saw me and then I was her and she was me.

No one noticed how she was wrong. How she wasn’t quite me. No one noticed I was gone, so all I could do was sit still and watch her.

 I watch her through the bent image of our cutlery, how she laughs and chats with my mother as they do the dishes together.

I watch her through the muted reflection of the turned off television as she puts a blanket over my father after he’s fallen asleep in the chair again.

I watch her through the bathroom mirror, trying to shove my little brother away so she could brush her teeth.

I watch her through the faint reflection of the shop windows, as she walks through the mall, chatting with my friends and exchanging the latest gossip.

I watch her through the display of her phone camera when she takes pictures with my girlfriend, making silly faces and using silly filters.

I watch her but our eyes never meet.

Never can she see me. No one ever sees me. No one notices I’m missing, no one notices that she’s not me and I’m not her.

 Once, I thought my dog noticed.

Once I watched her through the warped reflections of the parked cars as she walked my dog on a leash, humming the tune to a song I couldn’t remember the lyrics to anymore. I watched her and I saw my dog, how he wasn’t quite as cheerful, as excited, how he wasn’t so quite eager to get his belly rubbed.

I watched him and I thought he noticed.

Thought he noticed she wasn’t me and I wasn’t her. But by the end of the day, he had forgotten already. Forgotten I wasn’t there anymore.

So all I can do is watch.

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