"If Only I Could Apologize,

"If only I could apologize,

Apologize a million times,

as many times as there

are stars in the sky.

If only I could apologize

for not being strong enough,

for having allowed you

to be hurt by this cruel world.

I welcomed you in a world

that has offered nothing,

but pain and suffering.

Yet in my heart full of sorrow,

you bring a light that

was unknown to my soul.

You are the sun that has

calmed my eternal storms,

and has made my rainy days

more tolerable.

You are too small to bear

any burdens.

Let me carry everything

that weighs upon your heart.

I will carry a mountain

to save you any ache.

I will carry a mountain

so one day,

you might forgive

my mistakes,

If God forbid, you may

ever remember the

pain I have caused you.

Yet I long for you to

remember me,

to remember me,

as the one who has

carried you,

into the sunlight.

I will hold you close

to my heart,

I will carry you until

you refuse the safety

of my arms,

and the sound of

my broken heart."

Some impromptu verses to accompany the video, which relates to my Awakening series 🩷

Mama Teth 🩷

I have nothing to say except she slays ( literally ) and I love her sm 🫶🏻

Awakening 🕯️ (9)

Kid is overwhelmed by his own emotions, and seeks find the comfort he usually gets when in the presence of the Forest Elder. In the meantime, Mekh's inner turmoil only grows as she also rushes to find Teth, but for a different reason. Assembling the pieces together might have created a certain narrative in her mind, one that might not be entirely correct. But Mekh bears the burden of her own pride and her own mistakes, which renders her highly susceptible to such criticism ⎯⎯ and intolerant to blame of any sort. As she recalls having confronted Teth in the past, prior to the Shattering, and angers over the fact that she hadn't been harsher, her thoughts are interrupted by Moon. Mekh lashes out, thinking that Moon was here to lecture her, but it didn't seem to be the case. Moon seemed to want to speak with Mekh. Their calmness, which didn't reciprocate Mekh's anger, caught her off guard. What could Moon possibly want to talk about ?

Shattering.

Alef / Resh has been living rent free in my head for a while and I just can't stop thinking about how everything led up to the shattering . . How Alef's person gradually slipped away until he was unrecognizable, and replaced by a corrupted version of himself, unreachable since he was trapped within his own darkness. Starting off with good intentions, only to be lifted so high he believed himself to be a god; aiming for eternal light only to be plunged in eternal darkness. A never-ending storm of rage and all-consuming darkness.

Awakening 🕯️ (8)

Meeting Moon certainly was a noteworthy experience, but Kid soon goes back to play with his friends, who had come up with a game ⎯⎯⎯ well, only one of them seemed to be very passionate about it. Kid is on board and finds it quite fun to play pretend, even though he needs directions as to how he should behave . . . things go well until the story takes a turn which rubs him off the wrong way, for a reason he couldn't pinpoint. All that he knew, was that it was unfair, and felt horrible. Unable to explain the effect it had on him, he runs off, dropping the story altogether. His friend wonders if the Princess shouldn't just get back with the Prince, without realizing that this story might ring true with another, to an extent that all of them are unaware of.

Awakening 🕯️ (12)

After Kid and Teth found themselves in the Void, where Kid had regained his memories somehow, they end up returning to the Hidden Forest. While Kid is asleep, the Forest Elder thinks about the past, one which quite obviously wounds her enough to cover the sky with rainy clouds. Her thoughts are interrupted by Kid, who has woken up, and asks her why she is crying. What is strange however, is that he didn't refer to her as "ma'am", as he had consistently been doing before, but as "mom". Teth regains some courage and goes to find her dear friend, Lamed, as she seems to be ready to tell her the truth she wasn't capable of uttering years prior.