I Broke My Own Heart - Tumblr Posts

"If only I could apologize,

Apologize a million times,

as many times as there

are stars in the sky.

If only I could apologize

for not being strong enough,

for having allowed you

to be hurt by this cruel world.

I welcomed you in a world

that has offered nothing,

but pain and suffering.

Yet in my heart full of sorrow,

you bring a light that

was unknown to my soul.

You are the sun that has

calmed my eternal storms,

and has made my rainy days

more tolerable.

You are too small to bear

any burdens.

Let me carry everything

that weighs upon your heart.

I will carry a mountain

to save you any ache.

I will carry a mountain

so one day,

you might forgive

my mistakes,

If God forbid, you may

ever remember the

pain I have caused you.

Yet I long for you to

remember me,

to remember me,

as the one who has

carried you,

into the sunlight.

I will hold you close

to my heart,

I will carry you until

you refuse the safety

of my arms,

and the sound of

my broken heart."

Some impromptu verses to accompany the video, which relates to my Awakening series 🩷

what do you do when you miss someone so much that it hurts in your bones? how do you ride the wave of sadness drenching all of you in one go? what do you do when all you want to do is see their smile for me one more time? How can you miss someone you knew for such a short span of time? how is it that every night I hold myself and think of how you held me that day? why is it that whenever I close my eyes I remember how safe I felt against your chest? what do I do when all I want is to run right into your arms and experience that bliss once more? how do I live with myself knowing that I ruined it? what if this was it and I bungled it due to my fears? what do I do when it feels like this weight in my chest will crush me soon? how will I live knowing I hurt you? why were you so kind to let me into your life?

I miss you and I know it's my fault.

I broke my own heart expecting mfs to be as solid as me

I broke my own heart expecting mfs to be as solid as me

I broke my own heart expecting mfs to be as solid as me

I broke my own heart expecting mfs to be as solid as me

Regulus POV

As he turned the corner, Regulus saw James standing there, in the moonlight, staring up at the stars. He looked so peaceful. Slowly, he turned to leave, but the other boy called out, “stay.” And so he did. He would do anything for James, no matter what, which was why he was here in the first place.

To say goodbye.

“James,” regulus said, his voice coming across normal, even though he felt like a raging storm inside, messy and strange, but empty. “Regulus,” James replied, turning to face him, “I haven’t seen you in ages.” Regulus realised that this was a bad idea, he couldn’t do it, but he was here, so he spoke, “I know. I just wanted to say goodbye.” James went to speak, opening that beautiful goddamn mouth of his, but regulus kept talking, “I wanted to say that you were the only thing that brought me true happiness, that you were the reason I believed in love, and that I still love you. So much James, so much.” He could feel tears forming, but he fought to keep them from falling. “Reggie, whatever you’re going to do, don’t.” Said James, taking a step towards regulus, his face broken into a million pieces. Oh, he could always tell when something was wrong, when stuff just wasn’t right, hopefully he can find someone who appreciates that just as much as regulus does. “I can’t James,” he said, trying not to just give in and run towards him, “I have to.” And then, he apparated away

James’ POV

Suddenly, regulus was gone, leaving James standing out there, in the cold, confused, sad and broken. It hurt to see him, his darling regulus, after all those months, but he still shone just as brightly to James. Something was wrong though, that much he could tell, and he knew he had to check on him. So James went back inside the flat he shared with Sirius and found the one thing he kept of regulus’, the one object that was so familiar to both of them, that they would know it even after death, a golden snitch. He grabbed it and whispered a spell, and it started tugging him in a direction.

James ended up at the entrance of a cave, the treacherous waters crashing against the rocks, this had to be the wrong place, but the snitch kept tugging, only this time stronger, so he followed it. It got to a point where he had to conjure a boat, and sail through the water, towards an island, where he could see a silhouette of a person being dragged down by cold, mutilated hands, and he jumped out, running towards the other boy. “REGULUS,” he shouted, “REGGIE.” He got to the body, and dragged it out of the grip of the creatures, but it was limp and cold, his lips blue and his face deathly pale.

As James cradled the body of the boy he loved, he sobbed, and screamed, the sounds tearing themselves out of his throat. Why had he done this? Why had his beautiful, darling, lovely regulus done this? Later, much later, he would find out, and his already broken heart would break even more, but he didn’t know that at that moment, so he kept screaming, and sobbing, and holding his one true love.