Kenji: Okay, Darius And I Are Both Drowning. Who Do You Save?

Kenji: Okay, Darius and I are both drowning. Who do you save?

Ben: I don’t know, both of you?

Kenji: No, you can only save one

Ben: Well then Darius I suppose because he can’t swim that well and you’re an excellent swimmer

Kenji: Suppose I was holding an anchor. Who would you save then?

Ben: Why don’t you just let go of the anchor?

Kenji: It’s a family heirloom

Ben: I’m leaving

Gwen, about Max: Excuse me, I lost my kid, could I make an announcement?

Worker: Of course.

Gwen, over the PA speaker: Goodbye, you little shit

Davey: Dang, the power went out

Jasper: Don’t worry, I got this

Jasper: *stomps foot*

Davey: What?

Jasper: *sketchers light up*

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Kenji: I’m the smartest, wisest, most contempt person that I know.

Darius: Is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Kenji: I paid for my Mars bar, I’m getting my fucking Mars bar

Max, to David: Thanks, Dad

Everyone:

Max: …why is everyone staring at me?

Nikki: You just called David ‘Dad’. You said ‘thanks, Dad.’

Max: What? No I didn’t. I said ‘thanks, man.’

David: Do you see me as a father figure, Max?

Max: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure, ’cause you’re always bothering me.

Gwen: Hey, show your father some respect!