Jorgen Tesman Is Kind Of A Himbo (and The Norwegian Mr Collins) (and Why That Matters)

jorgen tesman is kind of a himbo (and the norwegian mr collins) (and why that matters)

was rereading Hedda Gabler and when tesman’s talking to his aunt about his honeymoon in the first act, he gives us some excellent bathos:

MISS TESMAN. Yes, yes, you did. But what I mean is—haven't you any—any— expectations—?

TESMAN. Expectations?

MISS TESMAN. Why you know, George—I'm your old auntie!

TESMAN. Why, of course I have expectations.

MISS TESMAN. Ah!

TESMAN. I have every expectation of being a professor one of these days.

and also,

TESMAN. I'm delighted! Quite delighted! Only I can't think what we are to do with the two empty rooms between this inner parlour and Hedda's bedroom.

MISS TESMAN. [Laughing.] Oh my dear George, I daresay you may find some use for them—in the course of time.

TESMAN. Why of course you are quite right, Aunt Julia! You mean as my library increases—eh?

MISS TESMAN. Yes, quite so, my dear boy. It was your library I was thinking of.

in comparison to the farsighted lovborg or the canny brack he hardly comes out looking like the sharpest tool in the shed. but his dullness is not unforgivable on its own. i feel like when i was 16 and i was first reading it i got why hedda was frustrated, but not totally why it was such a pressing issue to her. 

now that i’ve read pride and prejudice i think i get it. 

i think that jorgen tesman and hedda gabler are like the norwegian version of william collins and elizabeth bennet. like collins to elizabeth, his dullness in personality and in thinking prevent hedda from achieving self-actualisation. (that’s why elizabeth rejects collins after all.)

he will never be an interesting conversational partner like lovborg or brack; there’s none of their innuendo and metaphor present in tesman’s conversations with hedda. there’s no way for her to transcend the boundaries of her role as a woman -  because he is simply not interesting enough to share the exciting parts of the outside world with her, which she may not access in domestic confinement (contrast to ejlert, who shared with her his ‘escapades...days and nights of devilment’). what does she get? italian mountain ranges. recounts of the medieval crafts of brabant. something she could read in a textbook if she chose. hedda will never be happy with him, because he will never satisfy that intellectual desire and more importantly, that desire for freedom she holds. her marriage to him is out of convenience, the ‘safe’ choice. her marriage is a failure in her pursuit of autonomy, which will knock on her conscience for as long as she is married. hedda views marrying tesman as cowardice. (’Yes, Hedda, you are a coward at heart.’ ‘A terrible coward.’)

interestingly, tesman, just like collins, also insists on viewing his romantic partner as more of an ‘elegant female’ as opposed to an actual person. she’s a trophy wife, the beautiful daughter of the Great General Gabler, as opposed to an actual person. this of course only further reinforces hedda’s loss of autonomy in the relationship.

TESMAN. [Hums a little and smiles complacently.] Yes, I fancy I have several good friends about town who would like to stand in my shoes—eh?

TESMAN. Yes, isn't it? Eh? But Auntie, take a good look at Hedda before you go! See how handsome she is!

tldr; hedda gabler is what happens if mr bennet dies and elizabeth is forced to marry mr collins, but also in norway. 

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

a very quick poem i just wrote, made from excerpts of texts my mum has sent me this year.

Song dynasty hanfu and autumn leaves

model/editing: me (@hanfufairy)

photo: 柿子@小红书

the day I stop thinking about Them™️ is the day I die

———

Beatrice and Benedick, act IV, scene 1

I. HATE. IN-TEXT. CITATIONS.

Not just when I'm writing a paper, but when I'm READING a textbook it looks SO messy (Rick-Astley, 1969, p. 420) and it's SO distracting, (Morbius, 2022) and SO disruptive (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, & Rudolph, 1964.) to my reading and (Bird, Grouch, Monster, & Monster, 1997 ) learning process. And why are some of them SO FUCKING (According, 2007; To & All, 1991; Known, Laws, & Of, 2378; Aviation, 57 B.C.E.) LONG???