23 posts
Mcnultyocorcoran - Mac An Ultaigh - Tumblr Blog
When I was 3 or so I sat at my families Passover table. As customary reading the Haggadah at some point children at the table are asked questions. My question was who was placed in the basket and into the Nile. I proudly answered by saying “Baby Jesus”. Most of the table gasped but my father laughed and laughed. This photo reminds me of that moment. From the very first you were with me. In all places and spaces you were waiting for me to wake up. Reminding me whose I was. Waiting for me to embrace it and wear your name proudly and with Joy.
Thank You for never giving up on me. Thank You for the heavy price you paid for my soul. You have my heart always. Forever. To eternity and beyond.
I love you very much.
I have often felt I am in the wrong era. My whole life I dreamed of things that my peers and family had no interest in. Often they themselves wondered where I got my interest and desires.
Simple life has always been a dream. Cooking, crafts, clothes making, music; such as choral singing and hymns, nature loving, antique type interests and tastes.
Having grown up in a family that prided themselves on modern thinking and inventions, I felt often alone in my interests and desires.
Today though I am starting to embrace this side of myself. I am learning to do things I always desired to do. I live simply both economically and in thought and activities.
As I heal from my past I embrace the parts of me that have been misunderstood or overlooked. Either by myself or others.
God is showing me a new way to live. It lines up with the way I’ve always wanted to and it doesn’t compete with outside world views. It honors my soul and is creating for the first time real joy in my soul.
I was often overwhelmed in modern spaces and activities. Places that were loud or crowded. It feels good to begin to honor and heal those parts of me I have shut out in the past.
Psalm 92:12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree
when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.
Micah 7:8
Wilder Things
I've spent way too many years wondering what you'd say
Way too many hours wishing me away
Waiting for the day that I would finally (maybe) measure up
I've spent way too many nights dying in your walls Way too many daydreams keeping myself small
Holding out my hands to find the glitter in your dust
But Ima take a step back And not worry 'bout how they'll react The thoughts they turned into facts
Oh l'm seeing through the cracks
So I throw my hands up high and scream
"This world has seen much wilder things" I'm taking back the future they've defined
My joy is not a fantasy
I'm liberated from their strings
So love the beat they hate and dance in time
Guess l've fallen from the tree And I know what they say
Bragging from their knees
Saving all the strays
Praying for the day that I will finally cry for help Such a barricaded love
No wonder I feel shame
Infinitely nameless
Ways I am to blame
So l'd sew on my mask so I could smile as I melt
But Ima take a step back And not worry 'bout how they'll react
The thoughts they turned into facts
Oh l'm seeing through the cracks
And I throw my hands up high and scream
"This world has seen much wilder things" I'm taking back the future they've defined
My joy is not a fantasy
I'm liberated from their strings
So love the beat they hate and dance in time
All the years they took from me
Beauty vilified fully
Chains around my hands
They had me Damned Why was it mystery?
Glitter covered tragedies
Everlastingly mighty
Footprints in the sand
Solid as land
My own affirm my journey
Broken glass, I took the keys Conquering these open seas
All the rumors smashed
I'm free at last
Loving my victory
So I throw my hands up high and scream
"This world has seen much wilder things"
I'm taking back the future they defined
My joy is not a fantasy
I'm liberated from their strings
So love the beat they hate and dance in time
Love the beat they hate and dance in time
When voices wake me up telling me I am not good enough
Yours reminds me how much you love me
When fear grips me at the thought of you giving up on me
You remind me you are always with me, you go before me and surround me
When I feel lost and unprotected
You remind me you are my refuge and fortress. Your castle walls surround me and keep me safe
When I am alone and all of them don’t include me
You take my hand and sit with me, reminding me how cared for I am and how interested you are in me
When grief grips my heart and death’s hand surrounds my heart
You remind me my home is with you and that love is stronger than death
When I feel stupid because I don’t know something or have trouble learning something
You remind me you are my teacher, my priest, my King, and my Brother.
My life changed in the fall of last year.
Because of you my tree has fruit for the first time that will not wither, die, or be stolen from me.
You have my heart, my mind, and my soul.
And I love you more than anything or anyone living or dead.
Thank You.
The wet dew tickling my toes as I walk through the green grass
I can feel the wind gently kissing my face
The air rushes into the canals of my ears and I breathe in the crisp cold air
Gray covers the sky and the sun is weak in the sky
Days like these fill my heart with peace and although I know it’s only for the morning
I hold to close to me
Most people I know love blue skies and clear sunny days
I have always loved storms
Rain
Snow
Weather that you need to bundle up for
Gray and dark skies with bright moons
Nights so dark you can see the light
Of all the stars
I know this morning is a gift from you
That too makes me feel like I am covered with your love and protection
You have created such beauty and every day of my life it is what keeps me going
I know this is fading but for now I will cherish it and be grateful every day for it.
