In Another Universe Maybe

in another universe maybe

in another universe, we never hurt each other

in another universe, we have the proper guidance

in another universe, we still call every night

in another universe, we still talk about our dreams underneath our fort in my room

in another universe, I would've told you from the start

in another universe, we could've grown old together

but I am here still with a dull ache in my chest

the piece you took and never gave back

you're here and you see me

and yet, I cannot hear you

why do you say nothing?

I love you

If I could pull the stars down for you, I would

If I could reach the depths of the ocean for the rarest pearl, I would

If I had to, I would cross the world 8 times just to see you

If I had to, I would challenge the sun for your sake

you make me melt and I have no way of keeping myself together

your mellifluous voice and compelling laugh

you make me feel like I weigh nothing in this burdensome world

your sugar-filled smile and jittery hands

your presence has made my time here worthwhile

your complex and diverse mind that I wish to dive in

A dive I wish to never rise from

I want to never come back for air

You are all I need

Someone you haven’t even met yet is wondering what it’d be like to know someone like you.

Iain Thomas

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Maya Angelou

— Lana Del Rey; Cinnamon Girl

Amore mio aiutami

I rubbed my hands together to create warmth and collect the feeling back into my fingers. The brisk air bit at my skin, and I could see the faint tremor of my breath in the cold. I grabbed my gloves from my coat pocket and snugged them on nicely, feeling the immediate comfort of the thick wool. I exhaled deeply, watching the puff of air escape my mouth and dissolve into the night.

The brick sidewalk lining the river was slick with a thin layer of frost, glistening under the warm glow of the streetlights. Each lamp cast a cozy, amber hue, creating pools of light that contrasted sharply with the inky darkness beyond. The river flowed steadily in front of me, its surface reflecting the lights from the opposite bank in a shimmering, undulating pattern.

I peer at the time on my watch and sigh, 20:38. they weren't coming, I assume. I stand from the bench I was sitting on, my back aching from the stiff boards.

I begin walking alongside the river trying to ease off the disappointment melted into my face. Each step felt heavy as if the weight of my thoughts pressed down on me. With the city's ambiance and the sounds of the river below, I notice the matched footsteps behind me. I panic slightly in fear of being followed by a stranger. I grasp my keys in my pocket and prepare myself. I briefly look behind me to only find a familiar face.

My hands relax as the previous events and thoughts quickly disappear into nothing. Relief blooms in my chest. Abruptly, I stop walking and face towards him.

he was a good five feet away from me, standing with a plain yet nervous smile, bundled head to toe. we stay at the distance that separated us. I wanted to walk up to him, but something told me to wait.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, feeling my lips numb.

A quick flash of uncertainty crosses his face, but it's quickly replaced with an uneasy smile. "Just running some late-night errands."

"This late at night? Hmm, sounds great." I laugh at his obvious lie.

I continue, "Were you spying on me?"

His doe eyes meet mine as he casually says, "No, I just happened to be walking alongside the river... where I bumped into you."

I almost believe him, but his body language gives him away. I look at him with unamused eyes as he finally admits, barely loud enough for me to hear, "I just wanted to be sure that you were safe."

I smile at his nature and his plain answer. It was obvious why he was here. I walk towards him and lean against the railing when I’m close enough. I sigh and take in the scenery before me.

I feel his warm presence next to me as he begins to say, "I'm sorry your blind date didn't show up."

I half scoff and laugh, "It sounds pitiful when you say it like that."

"A complete douche bag, I would say." he says completely disregarding what I said.

I roll my eyes playfully, "it's really not that big of deal. It wasn't my idea to begin with."

He hums in confirmation. We stand there in silence, letting it envelop us as our thoughts drift away. My eyes burn with exhaustion, and I lean slightly on his shoulder, letting my eyes flutter closed. I let my subconscious take over, sinking deeper into the moment.

The next thing I know, we’re at my apartment. I’m on his back, and he gently places me on my bed. I smile and mutter a thanks. I remove my coat and shoes, tossing them aside. He lights a candle on the bedside table, casting a warm glow over the small room. The apartment’s warmth soothes me, and the cool comforter beckons me to dive in.

I look across the room at the small window and see the soft blue light pouring through. The waxing crescent moon makes a faint appearance. I clutch the sheets slightly beneath my palm and take a moment to think. I push aside the doubts I had been harboring and say,

"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

Three longing seconds pass and I look back at him to meet his gaze. "Yes, it is."

the way the soft glow from the candle shone on the right side of his face, and the moonlight on the left. he was simply charming. his lean body and his posture. I wanted to be near him.

I stand slowly feeling my legs ache. I look up at his expecting eyes, loving how they look into mine. "I'll walk you out..?" I ask.

his eyes shift over my face as he blinks into consciousness. he simply nods and walks out. I follow with soft footsteps. I shiver at the cold floor despite my socks protecting my feet.

we get to the door and I suddenly wish the door wasn't so close. he puts on his shoes without struggle and turns to me.

I blink in confusion, as he blinks back, his lips twitched in interest as if he wanted to say something. he raises his hand to my shoulder where it meets my neck. I enjoy the heaviness of his hand. how it brought chills to my body and made my heart skitter.

but then he sort of withdraws with a hint of regret. my heart clenches in anxiety. I quickly grab his hand and place it back where it was. I step closer to his body and place my hand on his cheek softly. I caress his cheek with the pad of my thumb, enjoying the silence. he didn't react, he just simply waited.

His honey-sweet eyes drew me in every time, and my drowsiness made my head feel cloudy and detached. It was almost like an out-of-body experience; my movements felt foreign, and my thoughts came and went in a haze. By the time I looked down at his lips, a delicate shade of pink, I couldn’t help but be captivated. We finally met in the middle.

His hand settled on my lower back as I stood on tiptoe. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers tangling in his soft, fluffy hair. I felt my heart pound in my chest, the sensation of his warmth and the intimacy of our closeness intensifying the moment.

alas, I felt the love I've been yearning.