To Be Vulnerable Is To Let Yourself Be Bare, Soft; To Strip Away Everything Until The Only Thing Left

to be vulnerable is to let yourself be bare, soft; to strip away everything until the only thing left is flesh and bone and skin. it is to carve out your soul and leave it at the mercy of someone else— trusting that they won’t leave you when you refuse to let yourself be anything but alone.

to xiao, a liability.

he is a weapon, an agent of bloodshed. vulnerability can only mean suffering for anyone who chooses to stay. (to be vulnerable is to be human, and he is anything but. when scarlet inks his hands, it is not of an innocent’s anymore. no longer the stain of humans, but of demons. this duty is repentance.)

and yet he finds himself soft for you.

soft, your hands as they cradle his face. and so, so warm. you tuck a lock of hair behind his ear, sweep a thumb across his bare cheek, and oh, how his heart trembles. he leans into your touch, shaky in resolve. (for how the mighty fall. for how long has it been since anyone has been this tender with him?)

and when you press a kiss to his lips, he lets himself melt into your hold. you are purer than anything he could ever dream of. you, divine and more than he deserves.

xiao is nothing like you, but perhaps he can learn.

Was feeling Xiao after that quest. Also made for Yokai Impact.

what if i drop something and ghost tumblr for another year

he looks starstruck.

the stars seem to hold their breath in anticipation and freeze mid-twinkle.  it’s silent for several moments and despite the darkness, it’s the clearest you’ve ever been able to see. his eyes are wide, and a little nervous, but they’re asking quietly. it’s adorable.

there’s a delicate balance that both of you are aware could be broken by the tiniest of things. the ringing of a bell, the sound of a bike. it’s a balance you’re not sure you want to break just yet.

you have always trusted yourself to have common sense. for most of your life, you have known what to do, sometimes what to say. it’s how you had survived life thus far.

except you aren’t sure you know anything right now.

kageyama is so, so close. if you were to lean forward just a little then—

well, the balance will certainly be broken. but this is kageyama. kageyama who had been there when you needed it most, kageyama who loved and loved volleyball and more but so quietly that no one would notice if they didn’t pay attention.

and this is the kageyama you love.

you settle for resting your forehead on his. his eyes flutter shut and yours do too. you both stay like that for a while. it’s warm. this is familiar, this is safe.

this is what home feels like.

thank you for for reminding me that i am actually on tumblr dot hell

favorite color: purple leaning blues but red aligned pinks are also vv nice currently reading: grishaverse companion books last song: psycho by red velvet but the reworked reloaded version by mandø last series: komi can't communicate last movie: a silent voice sweet/spicy/savoury? sweet but it's watered down currently working on: the next 24 hours of freedom and a childe blurb

tagging: @ffflan + anyone else who wants to join

tag nine people you want to know better

thanks @kyojuro-my-wuv for the tag (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)~♡

fav colours:

currently reading: 평범히 살고 싶어 열심히 살고 있다 - 최대호 지음; 지금 이대로 좋다 - 법륜스님 지음; before the coffee gets cold - toshikazu kawaguchi (english version); the courage to be disliked - ichiro kishimi and fumitake koga (english version); truly peculiar - tom standage

last song: 僕は死のうと思ったのは - Mika Nakashima

last series: tsubaki chou lonely planet (reread cos the drama CD is coming out and Nakamura Yuuichi (jjk gojo, mha hawks, fruba shigure, haikyuu kuroo, etc etc etc) is in it! i love him i love every character he plays) for anime, breath of the wild (legend of zelda) for game.

last movie: i don’t watch movies almost at all but i watched jjk0 and before that shangchi

sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury is salty right? if you’ve ever heard of 酸辣粉 or 麻辣香锅, that’s my ideal flavour profile (salty spicy and sour)

currently working on: fitness and mental health 🥲 and also a mini fruit shop diorama and my japanese proficiency

tags! @crows-and-cookies @snake-titan @false-skies @crimsonkenjii-writes @spideysorcerer @meloomi nine people is a lot to impose on so i cut the list down,,, also tag games are normally high self-disclosure if you’re not comfy don’t do it!

the door stares at you. you stare back.

while strange, materializing doors in forests is definitely a grounds for running the hell away, you are captivated by it instead. of course, you had always been drawn to strange things, so perhaps that should not have been surprising.

your eyes flicker down to the doorknob. in the early light of day, it almost seems to glow. you put a hand on it, the other gripping your backpack.

well, it isn’t like you’re going to be late to school. it wasn’t starting for another two hours, anyways. you can afford to take a detour. so, with one final look behind, you twist the handle and step forward.

only for your foot to land on nothing.

“HOLY SH—“

and then you are plummeting down.

your hand darts forwards to catch your fall. unfortunately, there is nothing to catch onto, and you are met with rushing, howling winds. are you screaming?  you aren’t sure. it’s getting increasingly difficult to breathe, and the tempest continues to rage against you. you squint. stormy skies blur. a mass of blue flashes across you vision and then—

“oomph—!”

you land with a muted thud, and it buckles slightly.

the wind is knocked out of you, and a roar erupts from the thing you landed on. you feel the reverberations ripple like an airplane engine. hands scramble to grab onto something, until they grasp onto rough fibers.

your vision is obscured by splashes of sky blue and teal. despite this, you press yourself closer to the...animal? creature? but it can’t be. you may not have remembered everything from physics class but common sense says that there is no way an animal this size should be able to fly, not to mention that it’s blue. this has to be a drea—

you yelp as the creature throws you off.

time slows just enough for you to see. glowing eyes and massive wings, and its horns fade into azure. you’re in awe. it’s a dragon. (it’s eerily familiar.)

but there’s still the issue of you plummeting to your death.

you screw your eyes tight. this is it. this is how you are going to die, and—

“careful!”

your peripheral catches yellow and porcelain white before a body crashes into your side and knocks the air out of you. black spots dance in your vision, and you’re so winded that you only realize you’ve stopped falling when your sneakers touch solid ground.

your knees buckle under you and you crumple onto stone and concrete. oh thank god, you’re not dead after all.

“hey! hey, are you okay?” a voice asks you frantically. “did she just—?”

“paimon saw her fall out of the sky!”

paimon…?

your head snaps up at the mention of the familiar name. paimon, the genshin guide fairy? she can’t actually exist, right? but crouched down in front of you is a girl clad in red and brown and oh, oh it’s amber.

you blink rapidly and shake your head. this can’t be real.

but the ground you are sitting on is too solid, the colors too vivid to be a dream. a hand is put on your shoulder, and you look up to see lumine and paimon, the latter of which hovers above. you look around and see mondstadt, exactly like how it had been shown in the game. it’s windy. you move to stand up, albeit shakily.

you take a breath. “where—“

“well, well. isn’t this interesting.”