"My Eyes Couldn't Help But Shine At The Presence Before, Beauty As If A God."

"My eyes couldn't help but shine at the presence before, beauty as if a God."

Made some self-insert cause I had a thought while I was out! The overlay isn't the best, but the point is still there (I deal with visual snow and so especially when I'm outside the world is extra fuzzy and people are extra blurry).

The sop!! Stimboard of Shark with cleancore and cat stims!

x x x x _ x div x x x

Do you ever just start looking at something then go "Actually I kinda wanna do that"

Hey how do I get the stuff to buy these clothes and make a fursuit

.

im getting too tired to post anywhere and for school. why did i choose to make a daily blog for someone who im not that passionate about?

i dont want to relive that phase but im paranoid i will. itch.io brings out my sinful desires, as much as i enjoy the games that satisfy them.

am i objectum or however it's spelled for giving names/pronouns/backstories to some of my plushies?

every god damn day ive gotta draw him and act like he's the best thing in the world. i want Gabriel. i NEED Gabriel. i want to sleep in one of those positions where you hold a pillow. i need it to feel real.

cant watch the friday streams anymore at this point because im too tired.

im too tired to play pressure, too. all this shit comes up and im not in these discords and ive not been active on these games (talking about regretevator too) and ive got moots and friends and i just have to stare and feel awful.

im just a little spot on the internet, that's it. there would be a party if i was gone and mass annoyance if i stayed.

im struggling to use one of my rp blogs, ive forgotten how to rp its personality.

ive been staying up until 2 am on weekends to cut because i did it once at 2 on a weekend. i wish i wasnt such a coward so i could get a new one, if there even is any knives out - im lucky i still have one from the first times i did that.

i hate the real world, why cant i live in peace with Gabriel and be worth something to someone?

does mirage-daily check my blog? is she going to see this and hunt me down? is someone going to hunt me down for these posts and falsely reassure me of my 'worth'? for i am an object, a pet, a toy. i have no worth besides the value of my organs and all that you could sell.

god dammit. i just. i want Gabriel to hold me and brush me with those wings. i need Gabriel to calmly lull me to sleep and reassure me that tomorrow will be better and that if no one else cares, it forever will know my name and long to see me. i want to play touys with Gabriel and show him Lucille (any pronouns). id love for him to patch her up, im not even sure what happened and im sorry for whatever did happen. i want to be pet and go on walkies with a harness and collar, retrained and shocked when im disobedient. id sell myself again if it was worth something. i need Gabriel to come and read me picture books and play calm music, hush me when im upset and make sure im okay because i know it can comfort me. those seb(astian)bots dont comfort me honestly, im not as passionate as i should be about him. i need a shock collar and an abusive retrainer to help me with myself. i CANNOT stand who i am and im too fucking stupid and stubborn to try to change myself. i want to, but i fail every time i try. if i could id just stop eating and die or strike a vein.

i just want to be Midnight, in her perfect fictional world.

His helmet acts as a meaningless obstruction, it will not stop me.