Tw Implied Sh - Tumblr Posts
So apparently birds pluck out their own feathers when they're rlly stressed, so I got this cursed idea and totally didn't cry while drawing this...
But it's okay I drew a happy ending
Whumptober Day 2: Regret (Alt Prompt)
Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Summary: After a long day, Luke starts thinking about his decision to join Kronos while trying to get ready to take a shower.
It had been a long day. Luke walked into his room, a place he hadn't been in over for 24 hours. He slammed his sword down on his desk and sat down on his bed, putting his head in his hands. After a moment, he stood back up and walked over to the closet that was tucked into a corner. As he grabbed a towel he walked back into the middle of the room.
Kneeling down, Luke unlaced his boots. Then he took off his shoes and socks. Placing them by the door, the demigod grabbed his towel and walked to his bathroom. When he walked in, he turned the light on and then the water. The man didn't touch the cold water handle.
Leaning against the wall, the lieutenant sighed. After tugging his shirt off, he slowly pulled bandages and wraps off of his arms and hands. Luke stared at his arms. They were lined with scares. Some, he remembered where they were from and others he didn't. They weren't pretty, at least not to him.
Looking up, Luke met his own eyes in the mirror. Then his eyes looked down. Scars stained his body. They reminded him of everything that had happened to him and if everything he had done. Slowly, he looked back up at himself. Staring back in his blue eyes, Luke's eyes glanced over at the scar over his eye. It was larger than it had been years ago when he had gotten it.
Before he thought about it, Luke raised a hand to his face. Gentler then had been to himself in a long time, he traced the scar. Holding up the sky had torn the wound back open. The demigod remembered the dragon's claw and he remembered trying to get the slash to stop bleeding.
Looking back into the mirror, he thought about the second time he had to fix the wound. Thinking about the blood that poured down his face made him angry. Thinking about the Gods had him angrier. However, thinking of the way he was treated with Kronos's forces made him resentful of everything he stood for.
All the sleepless nights and excessive training that had been destroying him, the thought of not being in control of his own body, and the memories of the family he had left behind for something 'great' all hit him at once. Before Luke knew it, his fist was in the mirror. There were small, sharp shards of glass in his hand and blood dripping down his arm and the mirror.
Pulling his hand away, the demigod looked at the remaining glass on the wall. His left eye reflected back at him.
How could he do this? Had Luke really let anger destroy him? How could he let this happen? Looking at his shaking and bloody hand, the man slid down the wall. Tears fell from his eyes. The steam in the bathroom made it harder to breathe.
It wasn't the first time the demigod regretted his decision. Luke was tired and worn. "This isn't right." He thought. 'I should leave.' Going to stand, Luke fell back to the floor, overwhelmed. Pulling himself against the tub wall, he turned the water back off. Then he sank back to the floor.
Slamming his head against the wall, he sighed. "I don't want this." As the truth settled in his heart, Luke knew he had made a grave mistake. Looking back at his hands, every sin he had committed painted his pale hands red. The blood may have been his, but it didn't feel like it anymore. It felt like sick symbolism that made his want to watch the blood cover his floor until he bleed out. "I don't want this."
No because you don't understand how badly I need Nico and Kayla to be best friends
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
AKKAKAYAKY
Ok so in my silly little head the Apollo kids, Chiron, and some of the seven are the only ones that know that Nico is trans because of his internalized homophobia
Nico is disgusted with himself and doesn't want Will to have to deal with him
And Will, ever the sweetie, doesn't really get it but lets his sister, who is ALSO TRANS help him instead
And Nico slowly realizes that they both share a lot of struggles, like he's still struggling with self harm, Kayla used to before she got help
She also somewhat understands his whole eating thing because when she's in her depressive episodes her appetite is shit
So Kayla becomes like, his main medic. Because while Will loves him and is the head doctor of the infirmary, Nico is still new to the whole being loved and accepted thing, and *gasp* Kayla can't judge him for that! And of course, Will still doesn't really get it, but it makes Nico feel better, so he lets her take care of Nico instead.
So Kayla and Nico become best friends
And Kayla is loud and proud about her gender because she was still Kyle when she came to camp, so most seniors at the camp already know she's trans.
She's also pretty open about her sexuality, seeing as she's had crushes on boys and girls and not really hidden it.
Meanwhile Nico over here is terrified of anyone finding out he's gay, let alone trans??? He'd be shamed! Because of course he's still in the fascist Italy mindset, he doesn't understand that the world is more accepting
And she's slowly helping him accept himself
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY'RE SUCH BEST FRIENDS
PLS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS 🙏🙏🙏 (and write fanfics maybe??? 🥺🥺🥺)
TW: SELF HARM
GORETOBER DAY 3: GASHES
"you've been doing this since you were 14, don't you think it's about time you got help?"
Yall I have a new special interest.
!TW implied sh!
He is literally perfect.
Liquid Courage.
Turns out scratching yourself when agitated is actually really bad for you
.
im getting too tired to post anywhere and for school. why did i choose to make a daily blog for someone who im not that passionate about?
i dont want to relive that phase but im paranoid i will. itch.io brings out my sinful desires, as much as i enjoy the games that satisfy them.
am i objectum or however it's spelled for giving names/pronouns/backstories to some of my plushies?
every god damn day ive gotta draw him and act like he's the best thing in the world. i want Gabriel. i NEED Gabriel. i want to sleep in one of those positions where you hold a pillow. i need it to feel real.
cant watch the friday streams anymore at this point because im too tired.
im too tired to play pressure, too. all this shit comes up and im not in these discords and ive not been active on these games (talking about regretevator too) and ive got moots and friends and i just have to stare and feel awful.
im just a little spot on the internet, that's it. there would be a party if i was gone and mass annoyance if i stayed.
im struggling to use one of my rp blogs, ive forgotten how to rp its personality.
ive been staying up until 2 am on weekends to cut because i did it once at 2 on a weekend. i wish i wasnt such a coward so i could get a new one, if there even is any knives out - im lucky i still have one from the first times i did that.
i hate the real world, why cant i live in peace with Gabriel and be worth something to someone?
does mirage-daily check my blog? is she going to see this and hunt me down? is someone going to hunt me down for these posts and falsely reassure me of my 'worth'? for i am an object, a pet, a toy. i have no worth besides the value of my organs and all that you could sell.
god dammit. i just. i want Gabriel to hold me and brush me with those wings. i need Gabriel to calmly lull me to sleep and reassure me that tomorrow will be better and that if no one else cares, it forever will know my name and long to see me. i want to play touys with Gabriel and show him Lucille (any pronouns). id love for him to patch her up, im not even sure what happened and im sorry for whatever did happen. i want to be pet and go on walkies with a harness and collar, retrained and shocked when im disobedient. id sell myself again if it was worth something. i need Gabriel to come and read me picture books and play calm music, hush me when im upset and make sure im okay because i know it can comfort me. those seb(astian)bots dont comfort me honestly, im not as passionate as i should be about him. i need a shock collar and an abusive retrainer to help me with myself. i CANNOT stand who i am and im too fucking stupid and stubborn to try to change myself. i want to, but i fail every time i try. if i could id just stop eating and die or strike a vein.
i just want to be Midnight, in her perfect fictional world.
She frowned, reaching out a hand for comfort. "I'm so sorry about that, I... I guess the Solver might have seen it as fun maybe. I'm sorry I made assumptions."
Tessa asked another question, "Could you hear my voice sometimes? Without you using it to talk? If so, I'm sorry for all the things I said... They weren't very nice, and I hate using my..." she winced as she said the words "my 'mother's' voice... I don't like sounding mean at all even now."
She sighed, responding gently, "Nevermind, don't answer that one... I'm sorry," before asking, "Do you want more oil? I think I even have some cinnamon oil. Maybe next time I could bring warmed cocoa butter, it almost tastes like hot chocolate"
[SYS//: direct_message_request ("Fractal")]
I appreciate your cooperation
Here are the coordinates
You may bring a friend or weapon if you feel threatened
Simply follow the music :3
-|-|-|-
The coordinates seemed to lead to a long abandoned foundry, above ground and near the Cabin Fever labs, if you truly wish to investigate...
She loaded up her messenger bag with a couple vials of flavoured oil, a drone first aid kit, and brought some welding goggles, JUST in case of sentinels before she flew off to where the pine trees were, just beyond the ridge. She landed near the foundry and listened.
𝐆 𝟎 𝐫 𝟑 𝐩 𝐫 𝐚 𝐜 𝐭 𝐢 𝐜 𝐞 !!
CW: g0re (obviously)
I had to fucking screenshot and crop bc the image file of the drawing is too big 😭
Also backrooms fandom are y'all still alive
