Its A Terrible Day When Your Library Card Expires During Quarantine, All Your Ebook Holds Are Suddenly

It’s a terrible day when your library card expires during quarantine, all your ebook holds are suddenly becoming available and you can’t read any of them

And when they get home, Calcifer tries to get Sophie to explain it to him, which leads to a scandalized and sputtering Sophie and a Howl would slithers out of that conversation quite joyful while his wife screams at him to get back there and take responsibility.

Howl loves the Rocky Horror Picture Show with a passion Howl saw Rocky Horror Picture Show at its premiere in London in 1975 and fell in love instantly Howl went as Frank N. Furter for Halloween one time and Megan absolutely refused to be seen with him Howl occasionally sings Time Warp in the shower Howl occasionally DOES the Time Warp in the shower Howl has slipped and fallen while doing the Time Warp in the shower

I know barely anything about Rocky Horror Picture Show but that sounds accurate tbh

What really happened at Hero and Claudio's wedding

Hero: Claudio, what are you talking about?

Claudio: *about to play "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco* Oh, you haven't heard?

when renge gets wind of what the host club are up to she shows up but not in her usual fashion— shes actually very shy bc she loves the manga so much? she has cosplayed as mamiko many times and has written and favorited many fics. she doesnt know what to do w herself at first w the many revelations. but kashima is everything tamaki should be, mikorin is a fellow fan, and nozaki is actually very nice? she is thrilled. nozaki is introduced to fanfiction and he loves it so much,

YOU KNOW SHE HEARD ABOUT MISS YUMENO VISITING AND CAME IN MAMIKO COSPLAY WITH A STACK OF MANGA TO SIGN 

So Renge showed up dramatically fashionably late as always

“HAHAHAHA. I HEAR ESTEEMED AUTHOR MISS YUMENO IS VISITING THE CLUB. AS HER NUMBER ONE FAN I CAME DRESSED AS THE LEAD MAMIKO. SO BOYS, TELL ME WHERE SHE IS I SIMPLY MUST MEET HER”

I read that in her voice while I was typing my god

All the mangan and hosts just. point. at Nozaki

Who waves 

After a mild tantrum bc Renge does NOT believe that this is Miss Yumeno she finally believes them and gets all shy

Prompting confusion from Mangang bc wasn't she just loud??

“Wait why is she shy if she-”

“shhhhhh just go with it”

She does end up LOVING Kashima she actually was part of the “welcome haram” when Kashima showed up but she gets hella disappointed when she learns Kashima is a girl bc we know Renge is a straight ™ 

To go over the play that Tamaki wants Hori and Nozaki to help him with Kashima and Hori run a few basic lines to get a feel of the stage 

Hori starts acting and Renge falls in love. 

She’s decided that he’s a poor man with a dream of the Big City Stage™ just like in her stories/games and it’s her job to fund his dream and they'll be together forever

Hori is NOT INTERESTED

He thinks she's batshit insane to the 100th degree and wants NOTHING to do with her

When she starts showing Nozaki fan fiction they head over to the couch where Hori is sitting and she just sits in his lap

And then there's  Kashima loosing her shit in the background and Chiyo waiting for the damn of Hori’s shock to break bc she knows what's coming next

At first Hori doesn't really know what to do bc he’s got Renge on his lap and her arms are around his neck and he’s just in shock

Until he snaps out of it and just YEETS her off of him

“What the hell?! Why would you do that?!”

Cue Renge throwing another tantrum 

“WE’RE SUPPOSED RUN AWAY AND  I CAN FUND YOUR BROADWAY DREAMS AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Kyouya eventually calms Renge down bc he’s really the only one who's good enough with words to get it done quickly and Hori just sulks with Kashima

Mangang is trying not to laugh bc holy shit Hori was shook ™ 

Hosts are trying not to loose their shit because omg someone finally yelled at Renge this is the best day ever

All the hosts gained a little more respect for Hori after that

And Kashima doesn't flirt with Renge anymore totally not out of pettiness nope

Nozaki caught none of this he was reading fanfiction

I need a Howl’s Moving Castle “Much Ado about Nothing” AU

Just picture it: Sophie as Beatrice and Howl as Benedick, being little shits towards each other and dramatically denying that they feel anything for each other

- Clearly Howl will get Beatrice’s “taming my wild heart” line, but everything else stays the same

- During the disguise scene at the party, Howl is delighted at the opportunity to dress up in disguise and find out what Sophie truly thinks of him

- And Sophie realizes it’s him in two seconds flat (”I RIPPED UP THAT SUIT AND PUT IT BACK TOGETHER, HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM, HOWL???”) but won’t tell him because How Dare This Asshole Try to Make Me Look Like a Fool

- And man, does she ever DRAG HIS ASS

- And Howl mopes about it to Calcifer, who just wants the tantrum over with (”STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO SLIME THE PLACE! NOT BY THE GRATES! DON’T MAKE ME CALL OVER SOPHIE, YOU FOOL!”)

- After Howl’s mope session, Calcifer tells Michael about the situation, who in turn tells Martha, who in turns grabs Lettie and gathers all four of them together

- Martha: So we’re going to trick Howl and Sophie into falling in love by making them overhear that the other has a crush on them.

- Everyone: That... sounds like something they would fall for, yes.

- How could anyone but Martha Hatter come up with such a ridiculous scheme to get Sophie and Howl together?

- And who could anyone but our favourite idiots fall for said ridiculous scheme?

- Calcifer, Michael wait until Howl is upstairs before staging their discussion

- (Calicifer’s doing it just to hopefully get some peace and quiet and attention back on him; Michael’s been dragged into it by Martha even though he’s a terrible liar)

- Of course, Howl is freaking out and, being the drama king he is, cant stop exclaiming and tries to cover it up so poorly

- “SOPHIE LIKES - oh, um, *DRAMTICALLY LOUD COUGHING FIT* ...I’m sick.”

- Martha and Lettie drag Sophie out for a walk around town, and when they have her in a shop, they sneak behind the rack she’s looking at and spill the rumours

- Sophie nearly takes down that rack and probably accidentally enchants a few items while muttering to them about how “This can’t be true, Howl would never... What do you think? You do seem like a sensible shawl, you know, but how do I react to this wonder- I mean, terrible, terrible news...”

- Clearly, Howl and Sophie won’t let their guard down completely after these conversations, but they do develop odd quirks

- Howl won’t leave Sophie the fuck alone 

- “Sophie, Sophie, did you see me cast that spell? Did it impress you? Sophie, Sophie, am I the most charming man in the world yet?”

- And Sophie is even more clumsy and flustered around him than normal, so she ends up snapping at him twice as much, furiously cleans the castle twice over with the most ridiculous determination Ingary has ever known and proceeds to enchant over half of the household’s possessions while she mutters grumpily to herself

- Sophie: “You, stool, how dare you get in the way? You ought to know not to trip people when they are trying to clean, for heaven’s sake! Now, next time you MOVE when people are coming near, you hear?”

- *the next day* Michael: “SOPHIE, WHY DOES THE STOOL KEEP MOVING WHEN I TRY TO SIT ON IT? SOPHIE, PLEASE HELP! HOWL? ANYONE???”

- No one in the castle has known peace for two weeks because of this constant madness

- (Calcifer and Michael greatly regret their participation in the matter)

- Anyway, for the matter of the whole wedding drama, let’s pretend that Fanny has set up an arranged marriage for Martha 

- (Bless Fanny’s heart, she means well, but she has no clue about Michael) 

- The same sort of marriage rejections occurs (which - even though Martha’s been trying to get away from it since the beginning - still is a huge social diss) and Sophie is OUT FOR BLOOD, LET ME TELL YOU

- And while listening to Sophie rant and rage, Howl decides that that’s the best moment to declare his undying love for her

- And ridiculousness of all ridiculousness, Sophie confesses as well but refuses to let Howl sweep her off her feet until he agrees to her revenge plot

- And while Martha’s already got two powerful witches on her side, having the Royal Wizard Pendragon on her side is never a bad thing

- It’s totally Howl’s idea to have the Hatter sisters disguise themselves (Howl’s disguise kink never dies)

- And to fake Martha’s death because he is so fucking dramatic, oh my god

- Calcifer and Michael are in charge for finding out who framed Martha and when they discover them, oh boy, does that person regret the day they were born

- Not only are they dealing with Pissed Off Hatter Sisters, but sweet innocent Michael is discovering bloodlust for the first time in his life

- It’s safe to say that witches and wizards can concoct some pretty unpleasant punishments

- So flashforward: we guilt trip this Terrible Fiancé into marrying Martha’s “double” 

- At the alter, she rips off her disguise and is like, “HAHA, YOU THOUGHT, BITCH!”

- And after dragging his ass for several minutes (it’s a Hatter trait, bless them), she declares that she’s marrying Michael (which Michael didn’t know, but it quite pleased to hear about)

- And after the dust settles, Howl proposes to Sophie in front of them crowd with probably the gaudiest, most ostentatious display of magic anyone has every witnessed

- And flustered Sophie turns him down since they’ve been keeping their romance a secret and she cannot deal with this PUBLIC HUMILIATION, HOWL, WHY???

- (and it’s not like their romance isn’t just them arguing a ton, so everyone assumes they are getting on as normal)

- Howl tries to play it off like it was just a joke anyway and NO, he did not spend FOURTEEN HOURS choreographing this magic display, how dare you infer that he’d do something like that - he is HEARTLESS HOWL, thank you very much

- But after Martha and Lettie basically drag them to the altar, do they begrudgingly admit their feelings

- And the moment after they say ‘I do’ s they immediately descend into bickering once more, but at least everyone admits the arguments are more loving

FINI

Sometimes not being out feels like choking

My words are locked in my throat. They twist and writhe, but they are never released. I want to scream them out but keep them sealed within. I can’t say how many times I’ve wanted to get it out, but there’s so much anxiety and wondering if this is the right moment. Because one day it feels like it, but within the next moment someone will say something that drives me right back into the closet.

I just want to know when it’s safe. When it’s alright. When no one will be shocked or treat me differently.

Just one moment of courage. Please.