It's So Funny Editing The Last Few Chapters Of My First Draft Because It's So Obvious I Was Rushing To

It's so funny editing the last few chapters of my first draft because it's so obvious I was rushing to get to the end. Take a look at the difference between my first attempt and my second draft.

First draft

It took several minutes for my morning haziness to wear off the next morning. I was dressed and ready, waiting for Maya. Then I remembered what she had done and that she was not coming. I was almost late to class. Catalina pulled me aside after class to update me. She said there was not much her mother could do since we were attacked outside of school, but she was going to announce later that we are all to stay on campus for the time being. 

Second draft below cut

Maya did not show up to my room the next morning. I did not wait for her. Dressing was harder than ever with only one completely functional hand. I struggled with buttons and tying up my hair, and the strain I put on my hand worsened the pain so badly I had to stop multiple times. It took almost the entire morning to ready myself, but I could not rely on my attendant. Not anymore.  I pushed Maya to the back of my mind on my way to class, having decided the night before that the best course of action was to discuss this issue with Madame Spiritwalker. As the highest authority figure in our clan, she had the right to know.  I trusted her to make a decision that deep down I knew I could not. A month with Maya as my attendant made me emotionally involved, and that was the last thing a Spiritwalker needed. My mother taught me how to be just. I did not want her to see how I fell short of that quality in this situation. By the time I made it to the hallway, classroom doors were already slamming shut. Catalina waited outside one of them, her concern placed elsewhere. She frantically glanced around the hallway, visibly letting out a breath when she saw me. When I came close, she pulled me off to the side with her. “Are you alright? I’ve been waiting for you all morning.” She was thinking about last evening. I knew because I was too. Placing Maya out of my thoughts left room to be filled, and the knowledge that someone tried to kill me demanded that space. I realized that in the chaos of the event, I never did get to tell everyone that I was alright. I reassured Catalina then, making sure she knew my lateness was about my hand, not the attack. The bell rang mid-sentence, but from her softening features I knew she understood. “I wanted to tell you,” she hurried, “that my mother said since the attack happened off campus there is nothing she can do, but she is going to address it.”

Spiritwalker taglist (ask to be added or removed): @the-golden-comet @pixies-love-envy

Maya

I never really post about Maya, despite her being one of my most important characters and unique creations. I have so much to say about her.

Maya is doomed.

I created Maya with two things in mind: she is Daron's attendant and she is doomed. It’s impossible to talk about Maya without her relationship to Daron because even after she’s no longer a part of the story, these two characters are intertwined.

Maya’s backstory is that she trained her whole life to be nothing more than a servant. She excels in her duties, which is why she was sent to attend to Daron. This training resulted in Maya being completely unhinged. She goes as far as to ask Daron to break her arm once because she grabbed onto her when she thought she was in danger. Maya is not Daron’s friend; she’s more like a worshipper.

Other than Daron, Maya is the hardest character for me to write. At first, I made her aggressive to everyone but Daron, but during my second draft I thought that didn’t allign with Spiritwalker values, so I made her more emotionless. She’s often described as having eyes like coal and more often than not only speaks when Daron speaks to her first. This makes it hard to keep Maya from falling into the background, especially as I slowly add in my four other main characters. I fixed this by acknowledging Maya’s fall from being a main character. She questions if she’s good enough and desperately needs to know why Daron would want anyone else around.

As a member of the Spiritwalker Clan, Maya is very similar to Daron, but horrifically intensified. Daron changes throughout the novel and represents the future of the clan. However, Maya represents the clan's imperfect past and is therefore unable to change. This is why she is doomed.

I made an analogy around the middle of the novel where Daron thinks of herself and Maya as opposite ends of a spectrum. They grew up with very different expectations and circumstances, but ended up so similar that those opposite ends almost touch. As Daron changes, she sees Maya as less like herself and questions if she ever was at all.

Maya only cares about Daron and doesn't interact with other characters much, but she does have some banter with Aria, as she is the only character to call Daron out. Aria refers to Maya as "little sheep" because of the way she always follows Daron around. I didn't intend for this, but love the accidental connotation of Aria, a character associated with wolves, referring to Maya as a sheep because Maya ends up being a wolf in sheep's clothing. Aria is also the only character to see that Maya is doomed. Not even Daron sees it until it is too late. Or maybe she doesn't want to see it.

In the end, Maya is her own demise, but the old Spiritwalker ways needed to die. Her death is Daron's push to change the whole clan and not just herself. That's why she is more important than any other character.

Because Maya's character is intertwined with Daron, here is a conversation with both of them that encapsulates her character:

“Do not hold yourself back, Maya. I want you to have fun.” “I will do whatever you ask of me, Lady Daron.” I shook my head. “I do not want you to have fun because I said so. I want you to do it for yourself.” “Myself? I am nothing on my own.”

Spiritwalker taglist (ask to be added or removed): @the-golden-comet @pixies-love-envy

Thanks for the tag! I love emoji games

Spiritwalker: ✨💀🔪

We Faceless Folk: 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾 🤳😭

Gentle tags to @yourpenpaldee @willtheweaver

WIP in Three Emojis Tag 😳🫣🤭

Thank you for tagging me in this tag game, @ominous-feychild here, open tag from @kaylinalexanderbooks here, @wyked-ao3 here, and @mysticstarlightduck here! 💛✨

Rules: exactly what it says on the tin, try to summarize each of your wip(s) in 3 emojis or less!

Peter Hart: 🏴‍☠️💛🍆

YWIMC: 🧞‍♂️📚🍆

ITROG: 🌳🫙🍆

Tenshito: 🪽😈🍆

LSR: 🤠🚀🍆

OP: RE: 👮‍♂️💰🍆

I will gently tag (no pressure): @fortunatetragedy , @sableglass , @words-after-midnight , @theink-stainedfolk , @davycoquette , @jev-urisk , @saturnine-saturneight , @rotting-moon-writes , @lavender-gloom , @smellyrottentrees , @drchenquill , @thecomfywriter , @thatuselesshuman , @the-letterbox-archives , @clevah-girlboss , @theverumproject , @theaistired , @autism-purgatory , @authorcoledipalo , @finickyfelix , @leatafandom , @thebearthatreads , @moltenwrites , @lychhiker-writes , @gioiaalbanoart , @alinacapellabooks , @justabigoldnerd , @pippinoftheshire , @pluppsauthor , @flurrysahin , @glasshouses-and-stones , +open tag for whoever wants to join! 💫✨

My new desk set up in my new apartment in the city is making me so excited to do some writing!

Why is it so difficult to describe a room or a house? I'm no interior designer, can't I just write "they're in a room and there's furniture"? Ooof... Writing is difficult sometimes...

Find the Word Tag

Thanks for tagging me @the-golden-comet! I love these ones

My words: cold, shiver, stream, drop

Your words: change, love, power, smart

Cold

Her skin was so pale, so cold.

Shiver

My body shivered but my blood was alight with adrenaline.

Stream

By the time I was done, the first rays of daylight began to stream in through the windows.

Drop

The plops of water droplets splattering against the stone floor was the only sound that could be heard in the room for a time.

I'm gently tagging @inseasofgreen @novel-nook-blog