LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY FIRST AND SECOND DRAFT I'M SO PROUD OF MY PROGRESS!!

LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY FIRST AND SECOND DRAFT I'M SO PROUD OF MY PROGRESS!!

Here's the last section of my first chapter in my first draft

The coachman opened the door to the carriage and offered a hand to help me inside. I have ridden in carriages before, but never had the luxuriousness to myself. The seats were made out of velvet and the floor was polished hardwood. The wheels were so smooth that I barely felt movement as the horses sped down the cobblestone roads. I looked out the window for a while, silently watching my home fade away and the shopping district come into view. I watched my people go about their lives until the shopping district became the residential area and the residential area dissolved into the forests that led into Herbneivorous territory. We still had a long way to go and I needed to conserve my energy so I closed my eyes and drifted away into sleep.

And here it is in my second draft

The coachman opened the door to the carriage and offered a hand to help me inside. As I entered and sat myself on velvet cushions so soft they partly swallowed me, I did not take even a single glance back at the black-brick mansion. My path had already been laid out, and it led away from Spiritwalker Mansion. I would not be able to keep moving forward if my head was turned back, even for a second. As we began to move on wheels so smooth I barely felt movement, I silently watched the small buildings of the shopping district come into view. A few witches milled about, going into shops with purses in their hands and coming out with baked goods or home appliances. I thought it funny how I had kept watch over these people my whole life through the meticulously written words of the mistresses—I knew how well their businesses ran, when a new witch was born, when one died, and many more details—yet this was one of the few times I had ever seen my people go about their lives. Sadly, I did not get to see more of what my people do when politics are not involved because the shopping district melted into the residential area, and the residential area dissolved into the forests that led into Herbneivorous territory. We still had a long way to go and I needed to conserve my energy so I closed my eyes and drifted away into sleep.

I know I still have a long way to go but it's so much better right?

I’m going to attempt this guys! For now I’ll just make an outline and write down quotes when they come to me. I can connect everything later. Thanks for all the encouragement and tips <3

I watched a true crime episode this week about a case that wasn’t closed for 30 years because police are useless and it made me want to write a teen mystery about a black girl that goes missing and because the police aren’t interested in finding her, it’s up to her girlfriend to figure it out by using clues in her instagram. But the problem is I can’t write this because I will never finish my current wip if I start another one. So my plan is to cry and add it to the pile of ideas I come up with every few months but will probably never start.

I was so right about this. My favorite things that I’ve learned are the differences between hyphens, en dashes, and em dashes and when to use them; how to use active voice; what a dangling modifier is and how to avoid them; and that you can use semicolons as commas when the items have lists!

My writing is going to be so good at the end of this semester 😩

I realized recently that the reason I like writing disturbing storylines is because I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory multiple times a day, every single day as a child. But today I realized it goes even further than that. One of my main characters is literally Willy Wonka. She’s socially inept, has incredibly pale skin, and is involved in a secret plot that involves killing select people. I even gave her the same stupid haircut. This whole time I thought I was just being creative 😭

One of my favorite things about writing is characterization but I’m tweaking so hard when it comes to the mystery I’m writing. Like I spent one second thinking about the missing girl who isn’t even in the book for about 90% and I was like she’s a photographer, an adventurous spirit, a prospective business owner, a dark-skinned queen, and she’s outspoken but introverted. Then I thought about my main character and was like she has braids, I guess.

I watched a true crime episode this week about a case that wasn’t closed for 30 years because police are useless and it made me want to write a teen mystery about a black girl that goes missing and because the police aren’t interested in finding her, it’s up to her girlfriend to figure it out by using clues in her instagram. But the problem is I can’t write this because I will never finish my current wip if I start another one. So my plan is to cry and add it to the pile of ideas I come up with every few months but will probably never start.