What A Waste Of A Monologue... (t.m.r.)

what a waste of a monologue... (t.m.r.)

college is supposed to be the time of your life but here i am balding over graph limits. how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions? anyway yes, anotha one. it’s 2 am where i live so very unedited.

shout out to @stxrsworld for being so sweet and cash money 💕

warning: underage students drinking oooh 📞👮

timeline: takes place after joe mumma but before kobe. tom x reader.

“I am a woman. Not an object, not a prize, not a possession that you can just demand to have. I have a personality, interests… For example, I like to chef it up with the house elves late at night once in a while. Did you know that? No, you didn’t because you don’t respect girls enough to get to know them. Merlin, you don’t even have the decency to accept my no for an answer…and calling me names?” You put your hand over you chest and stared in disbelief. “I wonder how your mother feels to have pushed such a foul, evil, loathsome little cockroach out of her poompoom? I know, I know, a crude thing to say, but I tried to be the nice guy, buddy. But you made me like this, Rosier…a monster…” you look away shamefully.

“And scene…how was that Katy Purry?” You breathe out. The fat cat meow’d and jumped onto your bed, signaling you to go to sleep. You frowned, glancing at your door where you can hear the muffled music from the common room party.

But sleep was the last thing on your mind, and Katy probably knew that. You were still in your robes and you were far too anxious for retirement.

“I’m going to do it. Tonight is the time.”

Finding out Rosier waited for you outside of Potions last week freaked you out to say the least. You wouldnt think you would say this, but thank Slughorn and his detention. Better yet, thank Tom Riddle for covering your sorry behind for reasons that have yet to become clear. Since then, it seemed like you’ve been seeing the Prefect more often, in the halls that is. More of him and less of Rosier. But the all brawns no brain quidditch player still shot his shot whenever he had the chance.

“I say we do arithmetics back in my dorm. Add a bed, divide the legs, and we can multiplyyy…” the brunette whispered in your ear, just loud enough for Orion and Mulciber snickered.

But you blocked every time.

You rolled your eyes and stopped writing.

“What about subtraction? Because I’d be more than happy to cut off your-“

Yeah, you were a baddie at defense, but it still bothered you on the inside. What started as annoyance grew into exhaustion to the point where you didn’t even want to deal with him. Hence why you used Riddle as a shield that one evening. But having to get other people involved was the last straw.

“(Y/n)…glad you could make it…” your roommate Nancy slurred. You held you breath at the fire whiskey and vomit smell that fanned your face.

“Actually I’m-“

“Nance we’re supposed to be sticking together. Hey (y/n), don’t drink the punch she puked in it,” her friend smiles, guiding the giggling redhead away.

Your stomach turned in instant regret. The flashing lights in the dark, the loud music, and smell of alcohol and sweaty pubescents made you dizzy. Your mission rerouted to finding a place to sit.

The sofas around the fireplace were pretty much empty but clearly occupied. Robes and purses were thrown all over. But it would have to do for now.

You made your way to the far corner of the long couch. The moment you sat down you jumped up as if it were hot coals, grabbing your behind.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t see you—Tom?!” Your eyes bulged out of your skull and suddenly embarrassment began to creep onto your face.

Thank the stars the lack of lighting hid your red face, one thing it was good for.

He rubbed his eyes and covered his yawn, but soon sobered, his eyes widening and long limbs sprawling across the couch in panic.

“What in the—(y/l/n)?” He looked at you confused, before looking at his surroundings. Last thing he remembered was his corridor rounds.

Two hours earlier.

Avery ran to Tom’s now sleeping form, picking up the arms of his limp body. “You’re so going to kill me if you find out.”

“He won’t,” Rosier tucked his wand into his pocket. “Now bring him to his dormitory and go get the punch. And make sure its the red one not the blue one,” he demands, “the blue one made my tummy hurt last time…”

Avery dragged Tom’s 6 foot self to the common room before propping him onto the couch to catch his breath.

“Hey Avery,” Nott called out. “Pumpkin Pasty?” He offered holding out a platter.

Avery dropped Tom’s arm carelessly. “Ooh don’t mind if I do,” he walked over, wiggling his fingers before picking one.

“Those idiots,” he mumbled angrily. Tom was equally angry as he was embarrassed. How could he let his guard down to have himself bewitched to fall asleep? Not gonna lie though it was a nice nap considering the lack of sleep due to final exams and Tom’s obsession over perfection.

“What are you doing here? You’re not social.” He turned his attention back to you.

“Uh wh-wh… excuse me?” You stuttered, offended.

Now fully conscious and aware, Tom decided it was better to seek his revenge on Rosier, the only Slytherin with such audacity, later on. He was a patient man.

Tom quirked an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms as he sat back into his seat.

“Yeah you’re right. Actually, I’m looking for Rotisserie,” you admit. Tom thought about who you could possibly be talking about before the switch turned on in his brain. A frown followed.

“I’m confronting him,” you respond as if reading his mind. His face relaxed and you could be mistakened, but was that a sigh of relief?

“Yeah you see, I got a head ache the moment I got in here because my friend—who also threw up in the punch, yeah don’t drink the punch—her breath was kick-in!. So I went to find a seat but it was really dark and you’re in grey, so I went..”Tom’s face of amusement went into surprised as you reenacted sitting in his lap, but not sitting down all the way before turning back around to continue your story, “but then you were there so I was like ahhhh then you woke and were like ahhhh….so yeah”

Tom stared at you blankly, but in his mind he was like man this bitch is weird. His eyes moved to behind you.

“Speaking of…” you turned around to follow his gaze.

the devil…

You rolled your shoulder back and took a deep breath.

Its game time.

He was slightly tipsy, stumbling a little as he chatted with Lestrange. They parted ways and you opened your mouth to start your speech.

“I am a wo-“

“Stop talking.” Riddle instructs.

“Wha-“ You feel a pair of hands go to your waist, pulling you down. Rosier’s shocked expression beat yours.

“What is this?” He looked at you two disturbed. Before you could even shift out of discomfort, Tom’s grip tightened.

“What does it look like?” Your human chair responded.

“Let’s get you another drink,” Lestrange returns, grabbing his shoulder to turn away. He manually shuts Rosier’s dropped jaw, sending you a wink before walking off. “wouldn’t wanna catch flies…”

“That was…quick thinking….”you say mindlessly, still processing what just happened. What a waste of a monologue…

“You can let go now,” you turn to Tom who was asleep?

You moved to get up only for him to pull you into his chest, making you let out a yelp. What has gotten into this man child?

“Stop moving,” he mumbles with his eyes still closed.

“Riddle, what are you doing?” You lift your head up to look at him.

“You owe me.” You scoffed.

“I don’t owe any man-“ he tucks your face into his shoulder, patting your hair, shushing you as he does so.

“sleep.” Tom says drunkily.

perhaps the side effects of the sleeping spell have yet to wear off.

draco: “you’re a whore go wear your whore makeup you whore…”

harry: “is anybody in there?”

draco: “occupado!”

my friend hugh (d.l.m.)

a long long time ago someone talked about draco working at starbucks and hating it. that was my inspo for this, so shout out to that user ❤️

“hugh janus.” the blonde repeats for the second time. he double checks the name on the drink.

“well im not bloody blind… online order for hugh janus! HUGE ANUS— oh bollocks kill me now.” draco turns back to the kitchen, too irritated to be embarrassed by the laughing customers that would hopefully be gone by the time he returned from break.

draco: ha ha very funny zabini

malfoy tossed his employee hat onto the table along with his green apron.

theo: what happened

blaise: happy first day bby

draco: 1 Image Attached

theo: HUGH JANUS

the following half hour was just as bad; hectic, busy, and annoying.

“aaaand i’ll have a cake pop”

“alright,” draco clicked around the screen.

“no a brownie-“

“ok-“

“no both!” the girl in her early teenage years clapped. malfoy simply gave her a blank look and and processed her payment. his annoyed stare never leaving her face as he did, making her scurry off in intimidation after she grabbed her receipt.

he was sure to put her sticker order over the logo on her drink to ruin her snapchat post.

“jake we need you at the window,” the guy who trained draco brushed by his shoulder. in fairness, he forgot his name too.

“you must be the new guy,” the girl working at the window took off her headset, “here you go, i’ll be back in 15!”

the slytherin took the worn out device and stared at it. ooh chile the ghetto, he thought. it was still warm too.

he had no idea what he was doing. draco was only trained for half an hour prior to his first shift and it was for cashier and handling mobile orders. so for the first ten customers, he gave them whatever drinks that came to the “ready” counter first. the other employee can deal with the complaints when she returns from break, that is if the customers are willing to get back in the long line.

as he served the orders in a panicked fashion, he couldn’t help but feel bad for all the times he criticized and made fun of minimum wage workers. he would definitely rethink how he would treat the people he would usually yell at or threaten whenever he lost patience. or not, who knows.

“draco?” a voice sobered him from his frantic state. he leaned forward out the window and squinted at the driver.

“pansy?”

“merlin, had no idea you worked here. or worked in general…”

“yeah blaise and theo bet on how long i’d last,” he explained slightly embarrassed at her slipped comment. grabbing the vanilla bean frap, he handed it to her.

“oh this isn’t what i ordered, but how is it working here? i’ve been think of-“

“girl don’t!” pansy’s eyes widened at the sudden emotion. “they have me slaving here. don’t do it.” he warned, stepping back to close the window sliding door. turn on his heel, malfoy took in a breath when he was met face with the shift leader.

•••

“couldn’t have been that bad…right?” you look down at draco who’s head is in your lap, as you play with his hair under the book you’re reading.

“apparently five people got allergic reactions because i gave them the wrong drinks.”

“oh…” you say awkwardly, suppressing your laugh.

“was one of the people hugh?”

Thanks for following me, darling! <3

of coursssse 🤞🏽

do you think tom riddle would survive squid game LMAO

Thank you for the ask!

I think he would survive for sure. He's so tactical and calculated, but so are many people. So I think cannon tom would pull some snake ass shit where he would befriend someone and they'd have this loyal friendship, then he would turn on them and betray them to win.

My not so cannon version would be the quiet underdog that wins out of luck and kinda watches everyone die and be like oop 🤭

the way lin manuel put his whole left tit into luisa’s song and bruno no no no 😩😩