Do You Think Tom Riddle Would Survive Squid Game LMAO

do you think tom riddle would survive squid game LMAO

Thank you for the ask!

I think he would survive for sure. He's so tactical and calculated, but so are many people. So I think cannon tom would pull some snake ass shit where he would befriend someone and they'd have this loyal friendship, then he would turn on them and betray them to win.

My not so cannon version would be the quiet underdog that wins out of luck and kinda watches everyone die and be like oop 🤭

kobe! (t.m.r.)

summary: what can i say, tomothy shablagoo hates quidditch

“i hate quidditch”

“i know”

“i despise it”

“i know tom, but we’re here to support our friends,” you remind.

tom huffs in defeat and sits back, watching the the slytherin players get into their positions, eyeing their hufflepuff opponents.

“ladies and gentlemen…” the commentator introduces the two teams, each corresponding house cheering for their side.

“nott! malfoy!” you cheer, standing up and applauding like a hyped mom.

“must you be so loud?” tom looked up at you in distaste. you pause your clapping and turn to him with furrowed brows, flicking his forehead.

“did you just flick me?” he says with disbelief.

“shhh it’s starting!” your hand grabs onto his face, tom watching through your splayed fingers.

the beginning was not very climatic. there was a lot of dodging and good defense on both ends. but as the game progressed, hufflepuff began to grow tired, while slytherin on the other hand was getting fired up. using this to their advantage, your house scored 10 points.

“yes! let’s goo!!” you cheered. the abrupt movement of your arms knocking toms hot dog out of his hand mid-bite.

he crossed his arms in disappointment. but he couldn’t be too mad because of how happy you were.

eventually one of the slytherin chasers got attacked by a bludger, causing him to fold like a tortilla, falling down into the pit. in response, rosier was called to replace him.

you rolled your eyes.

you prayed rosier wouldn’t get any playing time. if there was anyone who couldn’t take a hint it was him. he constantly flirted with you despite your disinterest before you and riddle got together. even then, he would still remind you how he would be waiting for you. not when tom was around of course. he wasn’t that bold. your boyfriend never found out because you begged your witnessing friends not to tell him because merlin knows what would happen to the boy.

the game proceeded as normal, until rosier spotted you in the crowd.

now this was trouble.

you snuck a glance at tom who was playing tictactoe with a first year that also seemed to not have interest in the game. maybe he wouldn’t notice.

“this ones for you (y/n)!” toms head immediately shot up. people were looking around for who he was talking to.

“oh no…” you groaned, hiding your face in embarrassment. the little devil winked at you.

instant death wish.

“did he just-“

rosier confidently pulled his arm back, launching the quaffle forward toward the goal. “kobe!” the spectators hold their breath in anticipation.

only to miss.

in response, an awkward silence blanketed the crowd. nott tried to cover his snicker with his gloved hand only to receive a smack to the back of his head by malfoy.

the wrong day to be bold rosier.

despite the weight of the second hand embarrassment of the whole stadium, he still had the audacity to take another glance at you…and your upset boyfriend.

“now i really hate quidditch”

tom stood up from his seat and grabbed your hand, pulling you up with him. he gripped his wand and within a blink of an eye you two disappeared from the stands.

rip kobe we miss you black mamba❤️

full vid creds to owner

Hi!!! I just wanted to say I LOVE everything you write, it’s so cute and I look like an idiot laughing out loud at 2AM. Pls don’t ever stop, I swear your stories are solving climate change lmao

Ahhh I love you !! I’m so happy to hear that they make you laugh because writing these helps me do so through rough times. I just have to remember that Pitbull has already been there done that. Until I am fully mentally healed I won’t stop, which won’t be soon.

joe mumma (t.m.r.)

more chad rosier, can possibly be prequel to kobe! idek rosier like that but i decided to just make him a basura character. |tom x reader. hiding reader trope-my favorite. some slytherin gang action.| possible warnings: implications of chad rosier being a creep, abraxas having a booty so big lord have mercy.

“reinhard…” malfoy stopped struggling momentarily.

“what?”

“i’m stuck…”

“merlin on a tricycle…” lestrange facepalmed with the hand not occupied holding onto the broom, “how?” the blonde tried pushing himself further through the window, collapsing his arms after failing.

“i don’t know i’m just stuck! (y/n) push harder!” he yells behind him.

“i’m trying!” you strain as you continue to push against his butt.

“try harder!”

“it’s your belt-i-i think it’s stuck—”

“girl you know these hips don’t lie!”

reinhard lestrange looked down and noticed the night lanterns turning on, signaling the nearing of curfew.

“get a move on you two! slughorn will be back any minute!” he lectured. right on queue, a prefect on watch was approaching the door, curious at the commotion.

“wait almost there, abraxas wiggle a little!” he obeys and does his little dancey dance. that along with your back pushing against his behind, finally had him flying out the window. lestrange gripped onto malfoys forearm, hoisting him up onto the broom behind him. both boys looking at you expectedly, but before you could even take another step, the door comes creaking open.

“it’s slughorn! go go i’ll cover for you!” you shoo your friends despite their reluctant pleas.

“y/l/n.” you shut the window and do a full 180-crazy, to be met with well, not your detention professor.

“riddle.”

“if i am not mistaken, i think you were attempting to abandon your detention while slughorn is in his meeting.”

“um no…” you deny. he quirked an amused eyebrow.

this should be interesting.

“what else could you have possibly be doing at the window then?” you scramble for an excuse.

“i saw…a bird?”

he blinked.

“a bird?”

“a bird, yes” you said with more confidence. tom scoffs.

“do you find me to be a simpleton?”

“i’m not sure how i should answer that-“

“i’m taking you to slughorn.” the slytherin prefect grabs you by the wrist and pulls you alongside him.

snitch. at least malfoy got away.

“two lemon drop fizzles,” you bribe.

“no”

“three?”

“you can’t bribe me with candy, (y/l/n). i’m not a child.” he says blankly, still stringing you behind him. the grip on your arm much softer now that he knew you wouldn’t fight it.

“and i said—joe mumma!” a familiar voice rounds the corner at the end of the hall, stopping you dead in your tracks.

rosier. audience boo’s.

accamponied by mulciber and black, he was headed straight toward you and the slytherin prefect.

he had to tendency to harass you with his unreciprocated desires to date. whether right now would be another attempt with tom around, you didn’t know, but we ain’t taking any chances tf.

“what is wrong with you?” riddle sighs impatiently.

turning around equally curious and concerned at the silent response. expecting a witty remark, he instead sees you hesitantly stepping behind an alcove…hiding. he followed your worried gaze to the brunette with his head turned to his friend, laughing about something. rosier waves off to his counterparts as they part ways.

as the boy approached, tom tried to puzzle together the connection between you two.

nothing came up.

perhaps even the most observant of people can miss out on other peoples lives when they’re so focused on their own. you were only a housemate, abraxas and reinhards friend, occasionally you two would run into each other at the library, and here and there you would best him in class marks—but not to the point where you became a threat to him. tom didn’t pay you much mine, respectfully. but now that he thought of it, he did recall a few short conversations you and rosier shared briefly between classes and after instruction, but you didn’t seem all the interested-

“riddle, i didn’t know you were on duty for this wing of the castle” rosier interrupts his thoughts. coming back to reality, tom didn’t realize how he had reached him down the corridor already.

suddenly he remembered you. behind him. and his body halfway turned.

“yes, well,” he stands a bit taller and turns fully toward rosier, his back blocking you from his view. “i believe prefect matters are of the concern of prefects, rosier. enjoy the rest of your evening.” tom does his best to end the conversation before it could even start. he had better use of his time, like ratting you out to slughorn.

“right,” you hear him respond, but you didn’t hear the sound of him leaving, making you hide deeper in the space of the wall. “have you happened to see (y/l/n) while on your rounds? i didn’t see her leave potions earlier-“

everything clicked in toms head, his eyebrows furrowing in disturbance, his throat needing clearing. tom squared his shoulders even more, encasing you into the wall. it was starting to get dark in the alcove 🤨

“i have not. and may i remind you that as a prefect, it is my duty to ensure the safety of all students.” he warns.

ooh girrrl. rosier’s confidence is thrown out the window, as he takes a cautious step back, muttering a farewell and scurrying off. a sigh of relief escapes you.

“alright he’s gone now,” tom informs, stepping away from you.

“ah tom! just who i wanted to see!” dear gods. tom grabs your wrist and pulls you back behind him, shielding you once again. he clears his throat to mask your yelp.

“professor slughorn, how was your meeting, sir?” tom asks politely. your eyebrows knit together in confusion rather than nervousness.

was the whole point of this not to bring you to slughorn?

“tom you should be patrolling dungeon corridors, whatever are you doing up here?”

busted.

toms hand squeezes unintentionally as he thinks.

“i saw a bird.” he says emotionlessly.

“a-“ professor chuckles, “i’m sorry, tom. did you say a bird?” you slap your other hand over your mouth trying not to burst into laughter.

“yes, a bird. i was trying to release it out…a window.” you were impressed he kept up with the lie.

“oh very well then,” he processes, “i will see you tomorrow.” tom goodbyes the professor politely. a sigh of relief leaves the both of you.

“a bird…” slughorn chuckles to himself as he walks down the corridor.

full creds to vid owner. i don’t support christian walker or his ideas but boy does he make a meme.

tom to rosier whenever he has the audacity:

Sneaking Out

Tom Riddle x Slytherin!fem!reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: breaking rules lol, almost being caught sneaking out, some pestery conversations, insinuations to smut

Author’s Note: loosely based off this tiktok I saw that had my mind running ramid. Ronnie is one of my favorite cosplayers (he does loki AND leon too and he has the best leon around). I hope you guys enjoy this random ass no plot thing

Summary: It’s very hard to sneak out of the dorms and Tom and you give it a go.

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Getting out of the dorms past curfew was a feat very few people had succeeded. Hogwarts was not only managed by humans, it was protected by wizards and magic. Getting through the prowling staff and the expertly placed spells? No one got through that.

People had tried and failed. Boasting wizards and witches got a popularity boost just by giving it a go. If they got decently far out of the common rooms that was even better. One time one of the Black kids had gotten a decent way to the door outside of the castle. How they managed to get past everything still amazed people to this very day, years later.

But Tom...Tom had it down to a science.

You sat in the Slytherin common room together. Mostly everyone was gone upstairs to head to bed but there was still about a half hour before everyone needed to turn in. You were sitting on the same couch but on opposite ends. He had a book out, you were writing spells into your notebook to practice the spellings.

There were only two other people in the room.

“Practicing are we?” Joan Emory said, sitting between you and Tom. He didn’t bat an eye. He never did.

“Just getting the spellings down,” you said, not looking up from your page. Joan could be testy sometimes and you had no interest in entertaining her. Not today. Not tonight.

“Do you think you could talk to Jeffrey tomorrow?” Joan asked. You let out a soft sigh, closing your book. She had held a torch for Jeffrey since the start of her Hogwarts experience and he liked you. It wasn’t something you had entertained but she annoyed you about it nonetheless.

You turned to look at her.

“I’m not going to.”

“He’s heads over heels if you just let him know you’re not interested-”

“Who said I wasn’t interested?” you asked. You saw Tom behind her, his ears perking up and his head turned slightly. That was a surprise to him.

“You said-”

“Joan, leave it be. He doesn’t want to date you.” She huffed, trying to sputter out some sort of words.

“You’re awful,” she spat finally. You gave her a thin lipped smile.

“I’m a Slytherin,” you hissed back at her. Tom closed his book harshly, making Joan jump as she started to walk away. “So am I. I’m not cruel.”

“I’m not unjustly cruel Joan.” She walked away, up the staircase to the dorms. You watched her go, leaving just you, Tom and one other late night studier in the room. Tom turned to you.

“Jeffery Biggs?”

“Oh leave it be. I’m not entertaining it.” You stood up and smoothed out your cardigan. It was beginning to look rather rainy outside which made you elated. It meant you could start burning some candles. “I’ll see you later Tom.” He gave you a look and you turned around, up the stairs into the girls dormitory.

===

At exactly 12:11 on the dot, you slid out of bed. You tried to be as quiet as possible so that none of the other girls saw you get out. You hadn’t bothered putting on pajamas as you knew you would be leaving soon. Your heartbeat in your ears, making you second guess yourself. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. It wasn’t even your idea, it was Tom’s.

The staircases were monitored. In the same way they were able to check if a man or woman went up the stairs, it could check when a person was going up and down. Tom had given you clear instructions.

Slide down the railing.

You hopped up on it and gripped the side as you kept your feet from touching the ground. You landed on the ground with a soft thump safely. You waited for a moment, listening. Nothing. First step done.

You walked into the common room where Tom was already waiting.

“You’re late,” he said, voice neutral and calm. You checked your wristwatch.

“30 seconds isn’t too bad. Joan has been tossing and turning, I wanted to make sure she wasn’t awake.”

He grabbed your hand tightly and turned to the door.

“Now remember, the pictures-”

“Are asleep and we can’t risk waking them.” “The stairwell-”

“Moves slower at night.”

“And the staff-”

“Moves alone. I’ve got it Tom.” He nodded once.

“You were listening. Good.” He opened the door and slipped through. He had mapped out the entire school in his mind. He knew it inside and out, though you’ve never understood how. He dragged you along quietly. You stepped only where he stepped.

It was odd seeing the school at night. No longer candle lit, the portraits were all sound asleep. It felt like you and Tom were the only people in the world.

You kept walking around a corner when Tom yanked you back and shoved you against the wall. You gave him a look but he put his hand over your mouth, glancing around the corner. You heard the soft footsteps of someone walking. You stared into Tom’s eyes but he was distracted. His hand remained over your mouth.

Finally he leaned away and removed his hand. You let out a breath.

“Come. Quickly,” he whispered.

Soon you arrived at your destination. The astronomy tower. No one patrolled there and there were no spells to keep you out. The only thing you had to worry about was researchers coming up to watch the stars but rarely anyone came up there for that reason.

Once you got up the long flight of stairs you could finally breathe a sigh of relief. You had made it.

You leaned over the window, putting your hand out. Tom lit the candle in there with a spell and the small room was illuminated with fire light. You turned around to look at him and he cupped your face, kissing you harshly.

You leaned into his chest, your back arching to mold into his body. He leaned you against the window sill and hoisted you up, causing you to break away from him. You looked over the edge that you were now leaning against.

“Tom,” you breathed. “I’m going to fall.”

“You think I would let you fall?” He scoffed. His hands slid up your thighs and down your arms to your hands. He held them. “Lean back.” You laughed nervously.

“No way. I’m not doing that. Do you know how high we are? I’ve had plenty of danger for the night and we still have to go ba-”

“Lean back.” You were silent. You met his eyes. Tom and you had been acquaintances when you both first came to Hogwarts. Now you were a little bit of everything. Strangers, lovers, friends, soulmates. You were a versatile duo.

“Tom…”

“Le-” He started but you leaned back before he could finish. You were now parallel to the ground, half of your body over the edge. You gasped, looking up at the stars. You had windows in the dorms and everything but it had been a couple weeks since you had seen the stars while being outside. Tom held your hands tightly, allowing you to have this moment.

After a second he pulled you back. You wrapped your arms around him and stumbled down the window sill into his grasp. You laughed nervously, turning around to look down the view to see how high you were.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he said, hand on your hip. You gave him a look.

“I could have fallen.”

“For the last time, I won’t let you fall.”

“If you had, they would’ve caught you. Your plan would be ruined.”

“And you would be dead,” he said, crossing his arms. “A loose loose.” You smiled warmly.

“Awe look at that. Tom Riddle has a heart.”

“It’s thawing,” he said hardly, like he didn’t believe it. You put your hand on his chest, making a confused face. You leaned forward like you were listening.

“There it is. I can feel it. Beating.”

“Glad to have a second opinion.” His gaze softened. It was nice with you. He felt nice with you.

“I kinda hope they catch us,” you said, backing away from him. “Let the world know that Tom is human. That you’re just like the rest of us.”

“Don’t push it.” He wrapped his arms around you. “They’ll never catch us.”

Harry Potter Tag List: @karasong, @lov3vivian, @russian-soft-bitch

what a waste of a monologue... (t.m.r.)

college is supposed to be the time of your life but here i am balding over graph limits. how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions? anyway yes, anotha one. it’s 2 am where i live so very unedited.

shout out to @stxrsworld for being so sweet and cash money 💕

warning: underage students drinking oooh 📞👮

timeline: takes place after joe mumma but before kobe. tom x reader.

“I am a woman. Not an object, not a prize, not a possession that you can just demand to have. I have a personality, interests… For example, I like to chef it up with the house elves late at night once in a while. Did you know that? No, you didn’t because you don’t respect girls enough to get to know them. Merlin, you don’t even have the decency to accept my no for an answer…and calling me names?” You put your hand over you chest and stared in disbelief. “I wonder how your mother feels to have pushed such a foul, evil, loathsome little cockroach out of her poompoom? I know, I know, a crude thing to say, but I tried to be the nice guy, buddy. But you made me like this, Rosier…a monster…” you look away shamefully.

“And scene…how was that Katy Purry?” You breathe out. The fat cat meow’d and jumped onto your bed, signaling you to go to sleep. You frowned, glancing at your door where you can hear the muffled music from the common room party.

But sleep was the last thing on your mind, and Katy probably knew that. You were still in your robes and you were far too anxious for retirement.

“I’m going to do it. Tonight is the time.”

Finding out Rosier waited for you outside of Potions last week freaked you out to say the least. You wouldnt think you would say this, but thank Slughorn and his detention. Better yet, thank Tom Riddle for covering your sorry behind for reasons that have yet to become clear. Since then, it seemed like you’ve been seeing the Prefect more often, in the halls that is. More of him and less of Rosier. But the all brawns no brain quidditch player still shot his shot whenever he had the chance.

“I say we do arithmetics back in my dorm. Add a bed, divide the legs, and we can multiplyyy…” the brunette whispered in your ear, just loud enough for Orion and Mulciber snickered.

But you blocked every time.

You rolled your eyes and stopped writing.

“What about subtraction? Because I’d be more than happy to cut off your-“

Yeah, you were a baddie at defense, but it still bothered you on the inside. What started as annoyance grew into exhaustion to the point where you didn’t even want to deal with him. Hence why you used Riddle as a shield that one evening. But having to get other people involved was the last straw.

“(Y/n)…glad you could make it…” your roommate Nancy slurred. You held you breath at the fire whiskey and vomit smell that fanned your face.

“Actually I’m-“

“Nance we’re supposed to be sticking together. Hey (y/n), don’t drink the punch she puked in it,” her friend smiles, guiding the giggling redhead away.

Your stomach turned in instant regret. The flashing lights in the dark, the loud music, and smell of alcohol and sweaty pubescents made you dizzy. Your mission rerouted to finding a place to sit.

The sofas around the fireplace were pretty much empty but clearly occupied. Robes and purses were thrown all over. But it would have to do for now.

You made your way to the far corner of the long couch. The moment you sat down you jumped up as if it were hot coals, grabbing your behind.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t see you—Tom?!” Your eyes bulged out of your skull and suddenly embarrassment began to creep onto your face.

Thank the stars the lack of lighting hid your red face, one thing it was good for.

He rubbed his eyes and covered his yawn, but soon sobered, his eyes widening and long limbs sprawling across the couch in panic.

“What in the—(y/l/n)?” He looked at you confused, before looking at his surroundings. Last thing he remembered was his corridor rounds.

Two hours earlier.

Avery ran to Tom’s now sleeping form, picking up the arms of his limp body. “You’re so going to kill me if you find out.”

“He won’t,” Rosier tucked his wand into his pocket. “Now bring him to his dormitory and go get the punch. And make sure its the red one not the blue one,” he demands, “the blue one made my tummy hurt last time…”

Avery dragged Tom’s 6 foot self to the common room before propping him onto the couch to catch his breath.

“Hey Avery,” Nott called out. “Pumpkin Pasty?” He offered holding out a platter.

Avery dropped Tom’s arm carelessly. “Ooh don’t mind if I do,” he walked over, wiggling his fingers before picking one.

“Those idiots,” he mumbled angrily. Tom was equally angry as he was embarrassed. How could he let his guard down to have himself bewitched to fall asleep? Not gonna lie though it was a nice nap considering the lack of sleep due to final exams and Tom’s obsession over perfection.

“What are you doing here? You’re not social.” He turned his attention back to you.

“Uh wh-wh… excuse me?” You stuttered, offended.

Now fully conscious and aware, Tom decided it was better to seek his revenge on Rosier, the only Slytherin with such audacity, later on. He was a patient man.

Tom quirked an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms as he sat back into his seat.

“Yeah you’re right. Actually, I’m looking for Rotisserie,” you admit. Tom thought about who you could possibly be talking about before the switch turned on in his brain. A frown followed.

“I’m confronting him,” you respond as if reading his mind. His face relaxed and you could be mistakened, but was that a sigh of relief?

“Yeah you see, I got a head ache the moment I got in here because my friend—who also threw up in the punch, yeah don’t drink the punch—her breath was kick-in!. So I went to find a seat but it was really dark and you’re in grey, so I went..”Tom’s face of amusement went into surprised as you reenacted sitting in his lap, but not sitting down all the way before turning back around to continue your story, “but then you were there so I was like ahhhh then you woke and were like ahhhh….so yeah”

Tom stared at you blankly, but in his mind he was like man this bitch is weird. His eyes moved to behind you.

“Speaking of…” you turned around to follow his gaze.

the devil…

You rolled your shoulder back and took a deep breath.

Its game time.

He was slightly tipsy, stumbling a little as he chatted with Lestrange. They parted ways and you opened your mouth to start your speech.

“I am a wo-“

“Stop talking.” Riddle instructs.

“Wha-“ You feel a pair of hands go to your waist, pulling you down. Rosier’s shocked expression beat yours.

“What is this?” He looked at you two disturbed. Before you could even shift out of discomfort, Tom’s grip tightened.

“What does it look like?” Your human chair responded.

“Let’s get you another drink,” Lestrange returns, grabbing his shoulder to turn away. He manually shuts Rosier’s dropped jaw, sending you a wink before walking off. “wouldn’t wanna catch flies…”

“That was…quick thinking….”you say mindlessly, still processing what just happened. What a waste of a monologue…

“You can let go now,” you turn to Tom who was asleep?

You moved to get up only for him to pull you into his chest, making you let out a yelp. What has gotten into this man child?

“Stop moving,” he mumbles with his eyes still closed.

“Riddle, what are you doing?” You lift your head up to look at him.

“You owe me.” You scoffed.

“I don’t owe any man-“ he tucks your face into his shoulder, patting your hair, shushing you as he does so.

“sleep.” Tom says drunkily.

perhaps the side effects of the sleeping spell have yet to wear off.