DickNo.

Dick…No.

‘Oh shit there he go’ - wally west, everybody

This is amazing

List of Things GCPD Officers Have Seen The Batfamily Doing

Author’s Note: I liked doing this one Tags: @etherealdemeter @darkfaethedestroyer @jason-todd-squad @angelgl16 @imjustnightwingingit @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @it-is-dana

ª     Watched the Batfamily stand on top of the roof and do the YMCA while Batman arrested Two-Face but changed the letters from YMCA to GCPD.

ª     Saw Batman chewing out Red Hood for tossing Robin down a laundry chute.

ª     RH didn’t really listen.

ª     He was still laughing at the way Robin screamed bloody-murder going down the chute.

ª     Watched Red Robin yell Bazinga! before swan diving off a ledge.

ª     Nightwing followed screaming something about forgetting his grapple.

ª     Also saw RR buy five espressos the same night.

ª     Followed by Nightwing chucking each of them into the bay as RR broke down in tears talking about exams to study for and cases to solve.

ª     Walked into the evidence room to see Red Robin and Robin arguing about how to retrieve Batman’s electromagnetic gun without breaking the glass case, only for Red Hood to shove his fist into the glass and go, ‘Problem Solved.’

ª     Heard ungodly curses from outside GCPD and walked outside to see the entire Batfamily playing a game of Mario Kart on the side of the wall.

ª     Red Hood was blue shelled by Nightwing.

ª     Twice.

ª     Then he ran over banana peels left by Robin.

ª     More curses followed.

ª     When asked how they set it up, RR just said, ‘We plugged it into the second story outlet. Don’t worry, it isn’t wasting too much electricity.’

ª     When asked what electricity it was wasting, he replied, ‘Just the juice used to power your break room.’

ª     Mario Kart was shut down after that.

ª     Watched Robin whack his head on the counter and scream a stream of cuss words.

ª     They weren’t sure what language he was cussing in.

ª     But they think it was Arabic.

ª     Nightwing happened to walk in and ask, ‘What happened?”

ª     Robin looked up and screeched, ‘I whacked my fucking head! What does it look like?!’

ª     Saw RR walk into GCPD, ask for Gordon, then faceplant into the ground and take a nap.

ª     Red Hood was beside him when it happened.

ª     When asked if they should help RR, he just waved them off and said, ‘He’ll be fine…I think.’

ª     Observed Nightwing flirting with a new officer only to be dragged off by Batman muttering something about ‘Patrol now, flirt later’.

ª     Nightwing came back ten minutes later and picked up the story he left on.

ª     Opened one of the lockers and watched RR trip out saying, ‘Oh thank god. It was getting hot in there.’

ª     When asked what he was doing in there, he simply replied, ‘I was betrayed by my brother…and now I’m going to strangle him.’

ª     They assumed it was Robin who locked him in.

ª     It was.

ª     Watched Batman die a little inside when Robin asked how to use a rotary phone.

ª     Then he held up a floppy disk and asked what it was.

ª     Batman had to sit down and hold his head for ten straight minutes.

ª     When they asked if he was okay, he said, ‘I’m trying to figure out how I got so old all of the sudden.’

ª     Saw Red Hood riding down the street blasting, ‘Highway To Hell’ from the Batmobile.

ª     Batman was seen following him yelling, ‘PULL OVER!’

ª     Red Hood didn’t listen.

ª     He then cranked ‘Stacy’s Mom’.

ª     The next night, RR and RH were blasting Twenty One Pilots from the Batplane.

ª     It’s safe to say, they were banned from the Batplane and Batmobile for a while.

ª     And the best one yet, watching the Batfamily, save Batman, do a full rendition of Michael Bolton’s ‘Lean On Me’.

ª     It went on YouTube and was seen at least a million times.

ª     Half of the officers at GCPD made it their ringtone.

ª     They planned to sing something else, but Batman said no.

ª     It didn’t last long.

ª     The Batfamily sang ‘I Want It That Way’ next.

ª     They watched Batman groan and wish he’d never had kids.

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!

It’s required in the Batfamily to be able to silently communicate to each other, but not even Bruce is able to understand how Dick and Wally can come up with a plan, and like six backup plans frOM A CONVERSATION CONSISTING OF NOTHING BUT HEAD NODS, AND THE WORD BRO.

This made me beam 

Umbrella. That’s what Tim forgot; his umbrella was packed into one of the plastic bins that the movers dropped off that morning, along with his rain jacket and all the hoodies he owned. At least his boots were waterproof. The socks underneath them were safe. 

Tim stepped out of the limo and into the rain, half jogging— as much as he could jog on his single crutch— from the sidewalk to the cover of the balcony overhanging the entrance to his new home, formerly the Crime Alley movie theatre. He punched in an eight-digit code and stepped inside. 

The apartment was almost finished, fully furnished, with only a few boxes left in each room: Tim’s personal belongings, the last things to move in. There weren’t a whole lot of them. Safe from prying eyes, Tim stashed his crutch by the door and strode around the place without it.

It was Tim’s place. There was something satisfying about that idea, about a space that was his and his alone. It had taken time and a lot of renovation, but the old theatre was Tim’s now. The walls had his pictures, every room had his furniture, and all of his personal effects were sitting in boxes, ready to be unpacked. The fish in their tank were his too. He had named all of them. 

The rain tapped slower on the windows, like it wouldn’t last much longer. Tim moved around the boxes in the living room anyway, checking for his rain equipment. He didn’t have anything to do for a few hours, but he needed to be at Wayne Enterprises that night. Best to be prepared. 

He spotted the red of his old raincoat through the transparent plastic of a box labelled several years back. That one wasn’t appropriate for a formal event, but Tim popped the seal on the box anyway and pulled the jacket out. The object underneath it caught his eye: a skateboard.

It wasn’t the Redboard. Tim knew version two was down in the sub-basement with the rest of his vigilante gear, stowed in one of the drawers in his vehicle room. No, the skateboard in the box was Tim’s first board, bright green and chipped from a few hundred wipeouts. 

Tim stared down at it. Tim had an idea. It wasn’t a good one. 

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This is EXACTLY what I needed to brighten my Wednesday 

that feel when your fav cousin is finally back!!!!