I M I S S Y O U , I M S O R R Y

i m i s s y o u , i ’ m s o r r y

Includes : Aaron Hotchner

Genre : Angst?

Warnings : Mentions of hospitals, stitches, bombs, injuries, naked people, cursing, not proof read

Based on : I Miss You, I’m Sorry by Gracie Abrams

Part one Part two

Her head was pounding as though she had woken up with a nasty hangover -wait, no, that’s not it. Her head was pounding as if she was hit by a truck, curb stomped, and then beat repeatedly with a bat. Yes, that’s a better description.

Hushed voices come into focus. Her eyes are closed shut. Her throat is parched. Her body hurts all over. Why does her body hurt? Why can’t she remember anything that happened the day before?

She tries to remember. She remembers arguing with Spencer, no, Morgan. She argued with Morgan. She left. She got to the house, then… Nothing. Everything goes black after that.

Her ears try to make out what the voices are saying and who they belong to. Has she been kidnapped by one of the unsubs? No, that’s not possible. She attempts to ground herself. She’s on a bed, she hears beeping, and it is freezing cold. She must be in a hospital.

She pries her eyes open, her vision clearing after a few seconds. Sure enough, she’s in a hospital. She sees Hotch and Emily standing at the door of her bed, speaking in hushed tones with the doctor. She tried to make out the words coming out of Hotch’s mouth, “how… doctor… concussion… bomb…” Bomb.

Upon hearing that word, panic struck her. She began hyperventilating, rushing to pull the needles out of her hand, alerting the doctor and Hotch and Emily of her state of consciousness. They rushed to her, spoke to her, tried to calm her down, but she couldn’t hear them. All she could think of was the bomb she now remembered.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed her face, two brown eyes coming into view. His soft voice calmed her. His gentle touch soothed her shaking body. Her hearing came back, “it’s okay. You’re safe now.” He repeated those words over and over until her breathing regulated.

Exhaustion hit her like a ton of flying bricks, the doctor telling Hotch to give her some space so she could rest. Her eyes closed again.

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

The next time she awoke, nobody was in the room with her. It was dark out, and the lights were off, so, she assumed it was well past midnight. Her head hurt less than before, but her body was still sore. She took the time to examine the bruises and stitches and gashes that littered her body under her hospital gown. How she survived, she didn’t know.

A knock at the door startled her. Hotch stood leaning against the doorframe, coffee cup in hand. “Hi,” he gave her a smile. He sat on the chair next to her bed, facing her directly.

Her throat was dry and scratchy, and he seemingly knew this, offering her a glass of cold water. A few minutes went by before she spoke, “what happened?”

She watched as Hotch took a sharp breath. “We got a call that a federal agent had been injured in a bombing. When we got there, the house was practically gone, and you were lying a couple feet away from it. You’re lucky you left the house when you did, but, you still got pretty hurt. You have a concussion, one broken rib, and a bruised lung.” He examined her as she took in all this information.

“How long has it been?”

“What do you mean?”

“How long was I out for?”

“It’s been three days,” his words made the situation start to sink in. Tears sprung to her eyes as she thought about how she almost died. She should’ve been more careful. “God, Y/N, what were you thinking?” It was as if a switch was flipped in him, his usual calm demeanor being replaced by one of sadness and despair. “Why would you go over there by yourself? You should’ve told one of us, or one of your teammates.”

She became angry upon hearing him scold her. “I didn’t have much choice, Hotch. It’s not like I could’ve gone to any of you guys. You hate me, all of you hate me.” He shook his head.

“The team doesn’t hate you.”

“Really? Cause it sure feels like you do. I know I made some mistakes, damn it, but, I’ve tried to apologize, I’ve tried to fix it and you won’t let me!” Her head pounded as she yelled at Hotch, but the emotions took over her.

“They don’t hate you, they are just hurt because of you leaving. They all sat outside in that waiting room while you were in surgery begging God for you to be okay. Morgan and Spencer refused to leave until I ordered them to go get some rest. They have been beating themselves up for everything that’s happened. Morgan blames himself. That’s not hatred, that’s love. And yes, they were wrong for how they treated you, Y/N, but you left a whole in the team after you left that we haven’t been able to fill. They loved you, still love you.” She was speechless. For a while she didn’t know what to say, it was all too much for her.

“What about you?” She whispered, “do you hate me?”

His voice broke as he said, “no. I don’t hate you.”

They spent the rest of the night in silence.

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

She was released from the hospital after a week. The team had come by to see her, apologies on hand and relationships mending. Hotch didn’t want her to be alone, insisting on taking her home and making sure she was alright.

So, now she is stuck in her apartment with Hotch. Not awkward at all.

“Alright, make yourself comfortable if you’d like. I’m going to go shower,” she began walking towards her bathroom, limping throughout most of it until Hotch’s words stopped her in her tracks.

“I’ll help you.”

She thought he must be joking. “What?”

“You can barely walk, I don’t see how you’d be able to get into the shower.” So, he’s serious. When they dated, they never got to the point of seeing each other naked, and the image of him helping her take her clothes off made her blush.

“Where are you going?” She asked as he shook off his suit jacket and walked towards her room.

“To draw you a bath.” He came back a few minutes later, and basically manhandled her, lifting her arm onto his shoulders and allowing her to use him as a crutch. They made it to her bathroom, where she was shocked to find the bath running, epsom salt in the water, and a lit candle. She knew he was drawing her a bath, she just didn’t know he would put in the extra effort to make it more comfortable for her.

He slowly turned her around, silently signaling for her to lift up her arms. At her hesitance, he assured her, “I’m not going to look. I just want to help you.” She silently lifted her arms as much as she could without pulling her stitches, and he made work of taking her shirt off. His touch was gentle as he took off her clothes, as though he was afraid of her breaking from the mere pressure of his fingers. He stuck to his promise, his eyes never drifting anywhere she didn’t want them drifting to. She had to admit, she felt something during that moment. She couldn’t put a name onto what she felt, but the concern in his eyes and the strain in his brow did something to her.

Once he was done, he helped her into the bath. She expected him to leave after that, but he leaned against the counter facing the door, letting her take her time.

After a while, she couldn’t help herself but ask, “why are you doing this, Aaron?” She never used his first name, however, it felt right at that moment.

He didn’t answer at first. In fact, she thought he was going to ignore her or pretend he didn’t know what she meant, but, she knows better than that; she knows Hotch better than that.

“I’m doing this because I care about you.” He finally met her eye. “And because I feel guilty.” This confused her.

“Why? Guilty about what?”

“About everything. About how I ended things with you, and how I was the one who drove you to leave the team.” She was about to speak, but he cut her off, “I don’t regret going back to Haley.” His statement made her break eye contact, the mention of how he left her for someone else bringing the hurt back up. “I don’t regret it because I was able to live with Jack, and see him often. I didn’t have to share him. But, I will admit, what me and Haley once had, died. Even when we got back together, it wasn’t the same. We loved each other, but we weren’t in love. She knew it, and she also knew I was in love with someone else.” Oh my God, she thought. She didn’t know what to say, what to feel, what to think, she didn’t know anything. Her heart was racing, her lungs constricting, her throat bobbing, her hands shaking, and it’s all too much, everything is too much, he is too much. “I was in love with you, Y/N. And I need you to know that.”

All her feelings came rushing back, all her emotions breaking out of their cage and rushing to take over. All she could say was, “You were in love with me?” Her eyes pleaded with him.

“I still am.” And it was as though a bomb went off all over again.

Bro please part 3 😭 I’m dying here

Just posted!!

f r e s h o u t t h e

s l a m m e r

Includes : Dallas Winston

Genre : Slight angst and fluff

Warnings : Light cursing, mentions of jail, mentions of toxic Dally

Based on : Fresh Out the Slammer by Taylor Swift

A knock on her window startled her from her sleep. She lay still in her bed, her thought process being if she doesn’t answer, they’ll go away. She couldn’t think of anyone who would be knocking on her window at three in the morning. It certainly wasn’t the Curtis boys, Steve would probably be in some car race, and Dally was in the slammer. Unless…

She shot up from her bed, running to her window. Sure enough, Dallas Winston stood outside her bedroom window in all his glory, bruises only just fading from his beautiful face, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Open the window,” his voice was muffled from the glass dividing them. She hurried to open her window, stepping back as he climbed into her room.

Hers and Dally’s relationship was complicated. They were together, but, he liked to act like a tough guy around everyone else, a fact which bothered her to no end. It’s no secret she loved him, she just wanted to know the feelings were reciprocated in public. They argued endlessly over this, his gaslighting only angering her more and more, leading her to break up with him. It hadn’t even been a day when Darry Curtis called her up, letting her know he had been arrested for shoplifting. Again.

And now, here he was. Sitting on her bed and smoking a cigarette.

She broke the silence, “what are you doing here, Dal?” She watched as he took a big puff of his cigarette, his eyes fixed on his boots resting on the bed.

“I had to see you,” he said after a minute. His voice was quiet; he was never one to be vulnerable or talk about his feelings. The way he saw it, he didn’t show his affection for anyone, he couldn’t get hurt. Frankly, she was shocked to see him look so vulnerable and utterly defeated.

“We’re not together anymore. You can’t just come running whenever you’re fresh out the slammer,” her voice was small as she shook her head at him. She was hurting all over again.

“I know, just hear me out, will ya?” His eyes met hers, the sassy tone coming back to his voice for only a moment. “I know I haven’t done treated you right. I’ve been a shitty guy to you, and I regret it. I’m not good with this kinda thing, man, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to express what I feel for you or what you mean to me, ya know?” He stopped to take another drag of his cigarette. “And, I was sitting in that damn cell and I finally realized, I don’t wanna lose you. Damn, I love ya. I don’t know how to be without you, it’s- it’s like I can’t breathe, ya know? I am trynna be better for you, I swear. And if you let me, I’ll keep trying. ‘Cause you mean everything to me. I’m just scared of gettin’ hurt.”

Again, she was extremely shocked. He had never once told her he loved her, let alone that he couldn’t breathe without her. Either way, she knew in her heart, that Dallas Winston was the love of her life.

Without saying another word, she walked over to him and engulfed him in a hug. They held each other tight, reveling in each other’s presence.

Pulling back, she said, “I forgive you, but you have to drop the hard ass act. I want you to actually acknowledge that I’m your girlfriend in public. And not just in a possessive way,” her lips were pulling into a smile.

“Ya got it, doll,” he gave her a rare grin of his own. He pulled her back in, inhaling her scent and committing it to memory. “You better not tell anybody about this, ya hear me?” Her laughter could be heard from miles away.

m a s t e r l i s t o f m a s t e r l i s t s

Requests are OPEN

✨harry potter

🪐the 100

✨pitch perfect

🪐criminal minds

✨the outsiders

🪐the bikeriders

Please please so long london part 2?

Just posted!!

c r i m i n a l m i n d s

key

❃ - fluff ❀ - angst ❁ - mature

Aaron Hotchner

about you ❃

so long, london ❃ ❀ ❁ 2 3

Spencer Reid

enchanted ❃

about you ❃