Enzo Berkshire X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Masterlist

Who I write for:

Oscar Piastri

Lando Norris

Charles leclerc

Theodore Nott

Lorenzo Berkshire

Please make requests

Lorenzo Berkshire

Sometimes it's hard to face reality

Don't take it personal...

Parings... Theodore Nott x slytherin!reader

Trope... academic rivals to lovers

Warnings... swearing

Summary... Theodore Nott and Y/n have had rivalry to gain the highest grade in Potions for years but when someone gets hurt maybe it's gone too far...

Y/n L/n prided herself on two things: her impeccable grades and her unflappable demeanor. As a Slytherin, she knew the importance of maintaining a composed and strategic front, and she had mastered it to perfection. Except, of course, when it came to Theodore Nott.

Theodore was an enigma, a quiet presence that somehow always managed to get under her skin. He was brilliant, annoyingly so, and the only one who could rival her in Potions. Professor Slughorn often praised their concoctions, hinting at an unspoken rivalry that everyone in Slytherin House was aware of.

Y/n’s competitive spirit was fueled by Theodore’s relentless determination to outdo her. It wasn’t just about the grades; it was about proving herself, about being the best. Every potion she brewed was meticulously crafted, every essay on potion-making filled with insightful analysis and innovative ideas. Yet, no matter how hard she worked, Theodore was always there, a step ahead or right beside her, matching her effort for effort.

One evening, the common room was unusually quiet. Y/n was hunched over her Potions textbook, quill scratching furiously across the parchment. She hadn’t noticed the hours slipping away, the candles burning lower and lower. She hadn’t even noticed her own body’s protests, the gnawing hunger in her stomach because she just had to skip lunch and dinner and the dizzying exhaustion that clouded her vision as her body practically begged for rest.

It was Theodore who noticed. He had been watching her from a distance, his own books spread out in front of him but his attention clearly divided. He saw the way her hands trembled slightly, the way her head dipped closer to the table with each passing minute.

“Y/n” he called softly, but she didn’t respond. She was too engrossed in her work, too caught up in the need to perfect her latest potion theory.

“Y/n!” His voice was sharper this time, cutting through the haze of her concentration. She looked up, eyes glassy with fatigue.

“What, Nott?” she snapped, the sharpness in her voice a stark contrast to her usual calm demeanor.

“You need to eat something. You’ve been at this for hours,” he said, a note of concern creeping into his voice.

“I’m fine,” she insisted, though her vision swam as she tried to focus on him.

“No, you’re not,” he argued, standing up and crossing the room to her side. “You’re going to make yourself sick if you keep this up.”

She opened her mouth to retort, but the words didn’t come. Instead, the room tilted violently, and before she knew it, she was falling, darkness closing in around her.

The next thing Y/n knew, she was lying on a couch in the common room, a soft blanket draped over her. She blinked, trying to piece together what had happened. The room was dimly lit, and she could make out Theodore’s silhouette sitting nearby, a worried expression etched on his face.

“What happened?” she mumbled, her voice weak.

“You passed out,” Theodore said bluntly. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself, Y/n. This fucked up competition that we have… it’s not worth your health.”

Y/n tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness forced her back down. She closed her eyes, frustration boiling inside her. “I can’t just give up, Theodore. I have to be the best.”

“Why?” he asked, his tone softer now. “Why is it so important to you?”

“Because…” She hesitated, searching for the right words. “Because it’s who I am. It’s all I have. We are both well aware of the customs that purebloods have and the expectations my parents have for me to secure a suitable match. This is for me because nothing ever is.”

Theodore sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Y/n, I never saw you as competition.”

His words took a moment to register. She stared at him, confusion mingling with exhaustion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve always admired you, respected you. But I didn’t push myself to outdo you because I saw you as an obstacle. I did it because…” He trailed off, looking almost embarrassed. “Because it was the only way I could get your attention.”

Y/n’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/n,” Theodore admitted, his cheeks tinged with color. “But you were always so focused, so distant. Competing with you was the only way I could think of to get you to notice me and prove myself to you.”

She was silent, processing his words. The idea that Theodore had been trying to impress her, to earn her attention, was both shocking and oddly touching. She had always seen their rivalry as a battle, it had never occurred to her that it was his way of reaching out to her.

“Theodore, I…” She paused, uncertain of what to say. “I never knew.”

“Of course not,” he said with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t exactly make it obvious.”

She managed a weak smile in return. “You certainly have a unique way of showing it.”

He chuckled, the tension in the room easing slightly. “I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard. I never wanted to see you hurt. And if it means you’ll take better care of yourself, I’ll back off. I don’t need to compete with you to care about you.”

Y/n felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words. For the first time, she saw him not as her rival, but as someone who genuinely cared about her. It was a strange, yet comforting realization.

“You don’t have to back off,” she said softly. “Just… maybe we can find a better way to do this. A way that doesn’t involve me collapsing from exhaustion.”

Theodore’s expression brightened. “I’d like that.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the competitive edge between them replaced by something warmer, something more understanding. Y/n knew it wouldn’t be easy to change the dynamic that had defined their relationship for so long, but she was willing to try. For Theodore, and for herself.

As the days passed, their rivalry transformed into a partnership. They studied together, sharing insights and helping each other improve. Their mutual respect grew, and so did their affection. Theodore’s confession had opened a door that Y/n hadn’t even realized was there, and she was grateful for it.

One evening, as they sat together in the common room, Y/n looked over at Theodore, a smile playing on her lips. “You know, I think we make a pretty good team.”

He smiled back, his eyes warm. “I think so too.”

And in that moment, Y/n realized that she didn’t need to be the best to be happy. She just needed to be with someone who understood her, who cared about her, and who made her feel like she was enough, just as she was. Theodore had given her that, and she was determined to never take it for granted.

A/n... Please let me know what you think because I crave validation 😭

Also requests are openn

Sometimes it's hard to face reality

Parings... Lorenzo Berkshire x reader

Warning... swearing, angst

Trope.... arranged marriage au

Summary... Y/n and Lorenzo are betrothed. Y/n is trying to make their marriage an easier one but Lorenzo is stubborn and ends up hurting her feelings.

Y/n had always known that her family had traditional values. Coming from an old, pure-blood Slytherin lineage, she had expected certain things. But when her parents told her about the arranged marriage with Lorenzo Berkshire, a boy in her year, she was taken aback. She knew Lorenzo; everyone did. He was handsome, with sharp features softened by a rare, genuine smile. Yet he was a bit pompus, and maybe a little bit of a flirt though, he seemed to be a good guy.

Lorenzo, on the other hand, was less than pleased when his parents told him about the arrangement. He had plans for his life that didn’t include being tethered to someone he barely knew at thirteen. Despite his frustrations, he kept his feelings to himself, determined not to be unkind to Y/n, who he knew was innocent in all this.

Y/n, determined to make the best of the situation, started by trying to befriend Lorenzo. She baked him his favorite pastries, pumpkin pasties and treacle tarts, hoping they would break the ice. She attended all his Quidditch games, cheering louder than anyone else when he caught the Snitch or made a brilliant play that distracted the other teams seeker.

Lorenzo, though appreciative of her efforts, found them overwhelming. He didn’t want to hurt her, so he tried to gently distance himself, thanking her politely but avoiding deeper interaction. Y/n, however, was persistent. She saw beyond his aloof exterior and noticed the kind glances, the quiet acts of consideration he thought she didn’t see and how he'd get his friends to make sure she was okay with their unfavorable situation.

One evening, after a particularly grueling Quidditch practice, Lorenzo found Isabella waiting for him outside the common room with a freshly baked batch of chocolate cauldron cakes. His patience, already worn thin by the day’s exertions, snapped.

“Y/n, can you just leave me alone for once?” he blurted out. “I didn’t ask for any of this. I don’t need your constant attention or your baking or even this stupid fucking engagement. Just… stop.”

Y/ns face fell. She hadn’t expected such harshness from him. “I’m sorry, Lorenzo. I just wanted to make things better for us. I never asked for this either but at least I am trying. ”

“Well, you’re not making anything. You’re just making it worse,” he retorted, immediately regretting his words as he saw the hurt in her eyes.

She fled, tears blurring her vision, and didn’t hear his half-hearted apology. That night, her friends comforted her, encouraging her to spend time with others and not waste her affections on someone who didn’t appreciate them instead they argued that they weren't engaged yet and she hade just as much freedom as he did.

Over the next few weeks, Y/n took her friends’ advice to heart. She started spending more time with her classmates, including a kind Ravenclaw named Anthony. They studied together, laughed together, and she found herself enjoying his company.

Lorenzo noticed. The absence of her unwavering support felt like a missing piece in his life. He missed her baked treats, her cheers at his Quidditch games, and most of all, her warm presence. He watched her with Ethan, jealousy gnawing at him. It dawned on him that he had been incredibly foolish. Though his friends didn't spare him their opinions on the situation either.

Determined to make amends, Lorenzo began his quest for forgiveness. He started by going to her her favorite study spots claiming to have just bumped into her, offering small gestures of goodwill. He brought her books she had mentioned wanting to read, offered to help her with Potions assignments, and even baked for her, despite his lack of culinary skills.

Y/n was wary at first, hurt by his earlier rejection. But Lorenzo’s persistence was hard to ignore. He apologized earnestly, admitting his fear and confusion about their betrothal.

“I was scared, Y/n. I thought pushing you away would make it easier, but I was wrong. I miss you. I miss us, whatever we could be. Please, give me another chance let me show you that we could be happy together,” he pleaded one evening by the lake.

Y/n looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity there. She hesitated before nodding slowly. “Alright, Lorenzo. But it’s not going to be easy. You hurt me.”

“I know, and I’ll spend however long it takes to make it up to you,” he vowed.

From that moment, they started anew. Lorenzo made an effort to show her he cared, not just through grand gestures but in the small, everyday moments. He listened to her, supported her, and showed genuine interest in her life. She attended his Quidditch matches, never missing out on the chanec to cheer for him ,and study sessions became talking for hours on end, building a friendship that grew into something more.

As the months passed, their bond deepened. Y/n saw the kind, caring and sometimes mischievous side of Lorenzo he had kept hidden from everyone else, while Lorenzo admired Y/n’s resilience and warmth. Their arranged marriage no longer felt like a burden but a promise of a future built on mutual respect and growing affection.

By their seventh year, Y/n and Lorenzo were inseparable. They had navigated the complexities of their betrothal, turning an arrangement into a relationship built on trust and love. Their friends welcomed the couple wholeheartedly and their parents had no concerns as they were close to securing a suitable match for their children.

— HARRY POTTER

HARRY POTTER

— coming soon!

RON WEASLEY

— coming soon!

HERMIONE GRANGER

— coming soon!

FRED WEASLEY

— skeletons and scares

summary: it’s fred’s mission to scare his girlfriend ever since she told him it was impossible to.

GEORGE WEASLEY

— coming soon!

CEDRIC DIGGORY

— coming soon!

SLYTHERIN BOYS

— enzo, theo, mattheo etc

MARAUDERS ERA

— james, sirius, regulus etc

targaryenluv’s slytherin boys masterlist!

THEO NOTT

— affectionate

summary: theo looked especially cute to you, so why not show your love for him?

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

— coming soon

MATTHEO RIDDLE

— coming soon

TOM RIDDLE

— coming soon

BLAISE ZABINI

— coming soon

DRACO MALFOY

— coming soon

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

something exciting will happen tomorrow… are you ready for it? 🤭🤭

𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊 🗝️ m.list✨

IN WHICH theo is the lead singer of the band cursed legacy and also the one who you hate most in the world. easy enough right? things only get complicated when theo puts out a rude song about you, the band starts to rise to fame and one single accident might ruin everything they worked for so hard. eventually theo is forced to ask for your help, but you wouldn’t be you if you would say yes without a very important rule: theo can’t play his most famous song: the one he wrote about you.

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

content: rockstar!au, no magic!au, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, a bit social media, so it’s modern as well

warnings: angsty, sad at times, language, fighting, cursing, mentions of sex, rude teenage boys, mentions of a loved one dying (there will be chapter specified warnings)

note: super excited for this!!

-> let me know if i should add you to the taglist!!

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

➻ you and theo stopped being friends a long time ago. now there’s only hate between the two of you, tempting theo to write a song

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞

➻ amused isn’t the word you would use to describe your reaction to theo‘s song. while everyone else is sure it is the best one he has written yet

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

➻ as a result of absolute stupidity, theo has to ask you for a favour

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞

➻ maybe the friendship that existed a long time ago isn’t as broken as you had thought. maybe you might be able to fix it

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐢'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

➻ theo knows he got everything wrong. he would do anything to make you stay. but is a song really enough?

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

➻ the competition is on. but is theo ready to risk everything to win?

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

➻ happy ever after???

authors note: for easy access anything (chapters, requests or other thoughts) regarding the series will be published under the hashtags #lizzyscursedlegacyseries and #lizzysdontblamemeseries

everyone is welcome to ask questions/ suggest things in my requests!

—𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you used to be friends. that was a long time ago. now you pretty much hate each other and theo uses his feelings about you to write a song!

warnings: i don’t think there are any! let me know if that’s not true :)

note: here it is!! finally the prologue is here! don’t worry the actual chapters will be much longer. we just needed a starting point! hope you enjoy!!!

word count: 0.9k

masterlist | next part

there was a single path connecting the backyard of the two houses, making it almost hard not to run into each other. despite that, you had sworn yourself to never set a foot on said path ever again, always straying away before your feet could touch the concrete. 

you hadn't been watching him, but it seemed that theo was doing the same. you had never once spotted him wandering across the yard. 

because your eyes were still fixated on the path, you didn't notice the movement in the window across from you, only looking up, when you heard the knocking through your opened window. theo was standing there, watching you with a smirk, before he reached for his pen and wrote something. 

he grabbed his bag, winking at you, before he slapped the paper against the window, turning around and walking out of his room before you were able to react. 

'bye, pixie'  he had written, making you sigh. he had called you that ever since one fateful day in your childhood. because, believe it or not, theo and you had been friends once.

you had been seven when you tried to cut your own hair, much to your mother's dismay, who had dragged you to a hairstylist the same day, eager to fix the mess you had created. there wasn't much to save or fix so you ended up with a rather horrible pixie cut for the next few months.

your hair had eventually grown out to it's normal length, the pixie fading away before you could even start to be ashamed of it, but theo wasn't one to let go of things quickly, so he had been calling you that to this day.

and since your friendship had ended, making room for the hatred towards each other, he seemed to just get a rise of the way it bothered you so much. 

you rolled your eyes, pushing back the feeling of annoyance as you dragged your curtain close so you wouldn't have to look at his window anymore. 

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

theo arrived at the garage sooner than he would've predicted, lazily leaning his bike against the wall, before he walked inside. 

"you're early" mattheo noted, while taking a look at his phone. 

"don't flatter yourself" theo smiled, before he ruffled mattheo's hair, sitting down on the couch beside his best friend. "what about the others?" 

"enzo forget his guitar, blaise and draco went with him to get it" 

"he forgot it again?" theo sighed, leaning back into the cushion. 

"he's been acting up quite a lot" mattheo shrugged "maybe it's the stress"

theo shrugged, before he grabbed his bag, taking out the red leather book. "i have something to finish" 

"another song?" mattheo furrowed his brows, before he stood up and walked across the room. 

"maybe" theo shrugged "i've been working on something" his mind wandered off. 

"might not be the worst idea to put out another single right after the album. we'll stay relevant that way" mattheo pointed out and theo nodded absentmindedly. "i'll leave you to it" mattheo walked in the direction of the door, a towel in his hand. he was probably going swimming in the lake that was right next to the garage. 

the garage was more of a loft than an actual garage. but it had always been called that and every member of cursed legacy was rather keen on sticking to things. 

"we are relevant" theo argued, right before mattheo snuck out the door. he could not hear his answer, if mattheo had even answered anything. 

theo sighed as his eyes fell back on the unfinished song in his book. the words had fallen right out of his mind and on the page it seemed. somehow this song had been easier to write than any other he had written. and that had been almost every song on cursed legacy's first album: neon nights.

sometimes mattheo or blaise had helped him. enzo and draco often had ideas for a few lines, but ultimately most of their songs were written by theo. 

he jotted down more and more lines, adding the chorus, the bridge. occasionally he stopped writing to play a few notes on draco's keyboard, making sure the lines were fitting the melody. in just less than thirty minutes he had a finished song. 

loud noises in front of the door made theo look up from the book. the door was opened by blaise and he entered the garage closely followed by draco and enzo and also mattheo, who had probably run into them right outside. 

"hey" enzo greeted "sorry that we're late, honestly my fault, but—“

theo shook his head, interrupting the boy "it's fine, enzo. i want you guys to listen to something" 

"sure" draco pushed enzo forward, so he had enough room to sit down on the couch. the rest of their group took their respective seats as well, ready to listen to whatever theo was wanting to show them. 

they all listened attentively as theo played the notes on the keyboard, eventually adding the lyrics he had written down, until they were presented with the whole song. they looked at each other, smiling in silent agreement. 

"what do you think?" theo asked, but his friends did not answer. they all got up, taking their instruments and resuming to their positions next to him. 

"what are you waiting for?" draco asked when theo had not moved to stand in front of the microphone.

"let's record it right now" enzo added when he noticed theo's confused look. 

theo smiled upon his friends enthusiam. "sure" he nodded, grabbing his mic and stepping into the middle of their little circle.

thank you so much for reading!!

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555

(leave a comment if you want to be added/ removed from the taglist)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐢'𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲)

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the line between lust and hate is awfully slim between theo and you, resulting in something that changes everything between the two of you

warnings: (like massive) spoilers for the great gatsby, mentions of sex, cursing, let me know if i missed anything else

notes: i’m just gonna quickly leave this here hehe

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monday felt like you had woken up in a different world. cursed legacy had made it their personal task to spend their time with you, much to yours and theo’s dismay.

they treated you like you were their friend again and while you had to admit that you didn't hate that, you still hated theo and being their friend meant being in his presence the entire time.

it started during math-, when enzo and mattheo decided to sit down in between april and you. leaving no other option but for their friends to follow behind them,- and reached it’s peak during english.

it was the only class that mattered to you, like really mattered to you. you knew it did to theo too, so you couldn’t understand how he had to ruin everything. atleast all had gone great, until the end. then all hell had broken loose.

"okay, we don't have too much time left" mrs walker said with a look to the clock "but i do have one last question: do you think daisy and mr gatsby should've ended up together?"

you raised your hand and mrs walker nodded. "yes, y/n?"

"i don't think so" you said honestly "i don't think they should've been involved with each other in the first place. i get that she had a shitty husband and she should've definitely left him, but she was at fault for everything that went wrong in gatsby's life and her loved her too much to realize that"

"thank you" mrs walker nodded before she gave the word to theo.

you turned your head in surprise. you hadn't even noticed him raising his hand. honstely, you had thought that he didn't even read the book in the first place.

"i disagree" he said.

"what a wonder" you muttered under you breath.

"daisy was everything he always wanted. she was the green light at the end of the peer and he might've been blinded by love, but isn't that what love is about? being so blinded that you would do anything for your person?"

you raised your eyebrows and send a look in theo's direction. you noticed that draco was wearing a similiar look as his eyes glided back and fourth between theo and the book in his hands, probably wondering if they had read the same story.

"sorry" you raised your arm "you could be right, but your're not"

mattheo beside you snorted.

"gatsby threw everything away for a woman that loved him for a short while before she went back to another man. he could've easily found someone better"

"maybe he didn't want to" theo was talking to you directly now "maybe it was enough for him to love her from afar"

"then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake" you argued "instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

theo's chair scrapped over the floor when he stood up. you could see the anger in his eyes and stood up from your chair as well.

"you don't know what you're talking about" theo was not far from screaming "he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored"

"that's what you took from this story?" you laughed in disbelief "did we read the same book?" you caught blaise and draco hecticly turning pages as if they were asking themselves the same thing. enzo and april exchanged glances and the smirk on mattheo's face died.

"because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband"

"she had no other choice" theo screamed.

"she had plenty of choices, theo" you screamed back.

"stop! the both of you!" mrs walker screamed.

all eyes turned to her. theo and you sank down in your seats defeated.

"both of you, detention" mrs walker said, right before the bell rang out.

you sighed as you packed up your things and grabbed the detention slip from her, before you left the room.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

detention was not the kind of activity you would normally choose to do during your day, but here you were, holding a cleaning cloth and a bucket, while theo was holding the broom. you were standing in one of the classrooms, that hadn’t been used for these past few years.

"alright" mr platt clapped his hands. he was a bit too excited about your detention, particulary because he had a one sided feud with theo, who was always a bit too sassy in the janitors eyes. "you're gonna clean this entire room. you have two hours-" he was interrupted by his ringing phone, which he picked up as he walked away from the both of you.

"this is all your fault" you whispered.

theo huffed. “that’s rich”

“is it?” you wondered “because it’s always you that has to ruin everything”

“calm down, pixie” theo shook his head “i thought you were smarter than this”

“i have to admit i thought you were too, but then you proved me wrong in english and here we are”

“shut the fuck-“

mr platt turned back around and both you and theo put on an innocent smile.

“i have to get a few things for the school banket next week. do you think you’ll be fine on your own?” he looked more in your direction than in theo’s.

“of course, don’t worry, mr platt” you smiled and the janitor nodded relieved.

“alright, i will be back in two hours” he walked out of the room and theo turned his head to you.

“don’t worry, mr platt” he mocked in a high pitched voice. you rolled your eyes, before you slapped him with your cloth.

“come on, just start sweeping already”

to your annoyance and ultimately not to your surprise, theo sat down on one of the tables. “i’m not cleaning anything”

“mr platt just said—“

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed, pixie” he smiled “but i don’t really listen to the things mr pratt says”

you were ready to start fighting, until you remembered how you had gotten into this situation in the first place. this was your first detention and you would make sure that it would also stay the last.

you mindlessly started cleaning the tables around the room. when you were done with that, you filled the bucket with fresh water and cleaned the cloth in the sink until it was spotless again. then you walked across the room to take the broom.

"what are you doing?" theo pulled the broom away from you, when you tried to grab it.

"i'm doing what you should've done" you crossed your arms "i'm not gonna get in more trouble, because of you"

"i'm not giving it to you" theo said and you raised your brows.

"why do you even care? you're not gonna do it? okay, fine" you shrugged "but someone has to"

"it's not your fucking problem, pixie" theo pulled the broom further back "you did your task"

"why are you always so stubborn?" you tried to reach around him, but he pushed you back with his other hand "just give it to me"

"no" the bratty smile on his face made your blood boil.

in a few seconds of uncontrollable anger, you took the bucket, ready to drench him in the cold water you had just filled it up with. "give me the broom" you said once again, as if to give him a last chance.

"you wouldn't dare"

"oh i would" you nodded.

theo stayed unmoving and you raised the bucket from the ground, so that it was now hanging in the air between you. but theo was faster than you. he let go of the broom (which fell to the ground with a thud) before he ripped the bucket out of your hands, making water slip over the edge and directly onto your shirt.

"you fucking idiot!" you screamed, and turned away from the boy, once theo had put the bucket down on the table behind him.

"i actually did not mean to do that" he laughed "but it's pretty fucking funny"

"shut up" you started patting your chest with the cloth in an attempt to dry the water stain on your shirt. you did only make it worse.

you could hear theo giggle behind your back and swerved around, before you threw the cloth in his face. he was not as happy anymore when he took the cloth off his face and let it fall to the ground.

"what did you just do?"

you shrugged your shoulders "not like you didn't deserve that"

he stepped slowly closer "repeat that. i dare you"

you stepped back and he followed. your back hit the wall and he came closer.

"you deserved that" you muttered as you looked up at him. you could feel his hot breath on your cheek and thought about just pushing him back and slipping away, but you honestly doubted that you were stronger than him.

"you're very brave sweetheart" he smiled sarcastically.

you laughed humorless. "i fucking hate you"

theo smiled and the eye contact intensified.

"looks like you're having the hots for me now"

"fuck you, theo"

your breath hitched when he quickly pushed his lips against yours. it took you a second, but then you pulled him closer by his shirt, deepening the kiss.

theo's lips brushed against yours and you melted into his kiss, surrendering to the passion that consumed you both.

the kiss was like a storm, fierce and consuming, yet filled with a tenderness that left you breathless.

you had only kissed him once before, back when you were children. back when kissing was something disgusting and didn't make you feel the things you were feeling right now.

you whimpered when he pulled your head to the side with his hand and started kissing your neck.

"i loathe you" he muttered between kisses "but you look so fucking hot in that wet shirt"

you smiled triumphantly and saw your opportunity to push him backwards, away from the wall and to the teachers table. you connected your lips again, as you turned around and climbed on to the table. he stepped between your opened legs and rested his hands on your thighs as he moaned.

you gripped the hem of his shirt, he stepped back and helped you to pull it off, before you repeated the same process with your shirt. your hands pressed to his chest, while he kissed you and unhooked your bra.

you weren't proud of the things that happened next. and especially not of where it had happened.

when it was over, theo looked almost as regretful as you did.

"this was a mistake" you muttered, as he pulled down your shirt and gently fixed your hair. you weren't used to this side of him, not anymore. but even if you said the exact opposite, your were yearning for him.

"yeah" he nodded and then he frowned "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have-"

"-no, it's alright" you shook your head. this was worse than before, it was uncomfortable and awkward. you would've preferred him yelling at you, but the room grew silent as neither o you said a word.

"we can never do this again" he whispered, but it sounded more like he was telling it to himself.

"i know"

"and we can't tell anyone about this"

"i know"

"we're not good for each other" he said finally.

you wanted to say something, anything. it was like everything between you had just died with a simple touch. you almost missed the tension, because now there was just nothing. you tried to reach for his arm, but before you could do or say anything else, the door opened and theo stepped back from you.

"looks alright" mr platt nodded, once he had given the room a look. "you can go" he held the door open so you could walk through.

"bye" you said and mr platt nodded. "theo" you called, but the boy only quickened his step and left you standing alone in the entryhall of the school.

you sighed, before you decided that theo was right, you should just forget about everything that had happened. your relationship with him had not been anything else than hate lately and you had to admit he was right, it would never work, you weren't good for each other.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the shift in atmosphere did not go unnoticed by april or the rest of the boys. atleast not until the next saturday when she was spending the day with enzo and matt, chilling in their parent's basement before they head to the rehearsal later.

"have you noticed that theo and y/n have been acting weird lately?" april asked "i mean y/n's been totally denying it, but it's weird right?"

"for sure" mattheo nodded with big eyes "i'm glad you said something, i was dying to ask you"

"isn't that kind of normal?" enzo wondered "i mean for them to be weird?"

"you're not getting it the way we are!" mattheo criticized.

"okay, sorry" enzo raised his hands laughing until mattheo and april send him a look.

"i honestly always thought they would end up together" april admitted "and of course i hated the way their friendship evolved to constantly fighting with each other, but at least that was something. now they aren't even talking to each other"

"right?" mattheo pointed at the red-head "i always thought they were in love with each other, but then she dated that scumbag and leo, well" he left the sentence unfinished and the mood shifted.

"i thought the same" april patted mattheos shoulder. “i think what they have yet to realize is that everything that is between them is not hate, it’s sadness”

mattheo nodded and april could see that he was getting sad too. they both felt helpless, like they couldn’t do what they were supposed to do as best friends to theo and you.

all while enzo found it a bit weird how serious mattheo and april were talking about your relationship with theo. it didn't even concern them, yet they were so... concerned.

"it's not really our problem is it?" enzo tried gently.

the looks he received made him shut up immediately.

"they belong together, enz" his brother exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "they just don't know it yet"

"yeah" april nodded "that's what they have us for" she pointed between her and mattheo.

"but you still like me more than him, right?" enzo joked.

april and mattheo started laughing and enzo joined in hesitantly. "not right now, though"

enzo's laughter died down as he send his soon-to-be-girlfriend a betrayed look.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

when the three arrived at the rehearsal, theo and you were already there, setting up the instrument and sorting notes.

"woah" blaise said when he and draco entered the garage after mattheo, april and enzo. "it's cold in here"

you send him an aggravated look, before you just rolled your eyes and continued to turn the pages of your notes.

"did something happen?" draco whispered in the direction of april.

the girl shook her head, before mattheo took it upon himself to inform draco about the newest form of relationship between theo and you.

"haven't you noticed?" he muttered not exactly quiet, but you acted like you couldn't hear him. "they've been acting like this all week"

"really?" blaise asked surprised, before he thought for a second "wait, no, now that you say it, it has been a really peaceful week." his eyes fell upon you "too peaceful"

"hey, y/n" draco called and you looked up "i think theo put down the wrong cable for you again"

"oh" you looked down to confirm that he was right "that not a problem, i'll just quickly change it" you walked around theo, without even acknowledging him and draco looked like he had lost his mind.

april elbowed enzo, who shrieked, but then quickly caught the hint. "theo, ehh" he thought for a second "did you talk to y/n about those notes she needs to play differently in cheap wine?"

theo shook his head, before he turned around to look at you. "you have to play two c-chords and then the a-chord"

"got it" you nodded.

enzo and april exchanged a look. enzo looked to his older brother helplessly, who looked as lost as he rest of his friends. he had no idea what else to say, before it quickly dawned on him. he had to force a reaction out of theo and what better way to do that than compliment you? an insult from theo wouldn't be far.

"you look really good today" mattheo said "i like the way you styles your hair"

"thank you" you smiled.

"theo?" blaise asked as the boy didn't react.

"huh?" theo looked up from the cables he had been sorting "eh, yeah i agree"

both you and theo returned to your respective work while the rest of your friends exchanged looks without you noticing.

"theo, i said y/n looks good today"

"i'm aware" theo nodded "i can hear you, you know?"

"we would love to hear your input" mattheo further encouraged.

"you're acting fucking weird today" and to all their shock, you and theo were now exchanging glances as if they were the ones behaving weirdly.

blaise huffed and mattheo and april crossed their arms silmutaneously.

draco seemed to have had enough of the way you were acting. "stop fucking acting this way! can't you just make up or something? or at least get back to hating each other?" he was close to tears.

blaise rubbed draco's shoulder. "see, what you're doing to him. his parents are divorced"

"okay?" you asked confused "i don't see what that has to do with us, though"

"what's going on?" april asked gently "did something happen? you had this until someone cries mentally, well, did someone cry?"

"no" you shook your head "theo and i are just mature enough, that we decided to stop fighting"

"bullshit" draco screamed from blaise's arms. "you're always fighting, even before you hated each other."

you looked in the direction of theo and thought about what he had said to you in that classroom. he had been right, you weren't good to each other, even before you had been at each other's throats constantly. all of it had been so obvious that even your friends had noticed it.

"would you rather have us fighting again?" theo asked with raised brows "we were going nowhere with this"

"you're not even talking to each other" mattheo muttered.

"we are" you shook your head as if you couldn't believe what he was saying "we just did it like a minute ago"

"can we please start rehearsing now?" theo asked and all of you could feel the annoyance radiating off his body. the boys nodded, giving in without further discussion.

you could still feel april's eyes lingering on you. she didn't believe a word you had said.

even if you tried to ignore it, what your friends had said stuck with you. you knew that theo was thinking about it too.

after the rehearsal you stayed longer.

"we have to stop acting his way" you said as soon as the two of you were alone. "they will find out if we don't"

"i know" theo sighed and it was the biggest reaction you had gotten from him all week. it kind of pained you to admit that you missed your fighting, but something in you clearly did.

"can't you just fight with me? just do something so we go back to normal"

"i can't" theo admitted "i can’t still scream at you, after-"

"after we had sex" you interrupted. he had been dancing around what happened all week, you were tired of not calling it what it was.

"it should've never happened"

"i know!" you said loudly "and i agree, but this is not the solution we need. we can't go back in time, theo, we can do nothing to change it."

"yeah, but i can do as much as possible to make sure it won't ever happen again"

"why are you so bothered by all of this?" you asked frustrated "it was just sex, it was a one time thing, what makes it different? it's just like any other one night stand"

"no it's not"

"then tell me what it is!" you were screaming now "because i'm tired of playing a game i don't want to be a part of! you confuse me"

"can i kiss you?" theo asked and you had almost screamed from shock.

"what?" you asked instead. "theo!"

"i'm- sorry, i just-"

"okay, kiss me" he did not wait for you to tell him twice, before he had already walked closer and pressed his lips against yours.

you really had to stop doing this. well, after this time.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

you continued to come to the rehearsal three times a week over the following weeks. the more time you spent in the old loft, the more it felt like everything was slowly going back to normal.

your friends couldn't explain what had happened, but theo and you had started interacting normally again, having your occasional fight, but being friendlier than ever.

even if they found it weird, they accepted it. they were just happy you were talking to each other again.

april had tried to find out what had been going and between you and the boy, but you had stayed strong, not revealing your secret to her, even if she was your best friend.

you were joking with the boys, the forced friendly gestures you used to exchange were long gone and it was no longer uncomfortable to just sit around when you were taking a break.

mattheo told stories of enzo and their vacation in spain, how they had gone snorkeling and how enzo had lost his trunks in the water, making all of you break out into loud laughter.

each of you shared memories of a time where you had not spoken to the others, as if you had to catch up. and it felt good.

even theo had to admit it did. it had been easier than he thought to be civil. he had been sure he was having a stroke, but as soon as he started to act nice, you did too and after everything that had happened between you both these past few days he was honestly just glad.

it was another saturday when you were once again rehearsing. you had gone through the entire setlist (except for daddy issues, theo had said that it was way too slow to play) and now only had to play eight pack of cigarettes, which was one of your favorite tracks to play, especially because it had a guitar solo in it.

you had spent much time learning the solo and enzo had been of great help, teaching you like a proud parent, even if he was younger than you.

the song began slow, theo started singing as the guitar played slow, while the other instruments stayed silent.

in the glow of street lights, underneath the city's haze, you found me in the darkest nights, lost in a nicotine haze.

the drums set in just a second after, making the heavy rock of the song shine through clearly. shortly after that followed mattheo, strumming the bass. draco only joined at the chorus.

eight packs of cigarettes, burned through these lonely nights, trying to drown out regrets, but you're still in my head.

the solo came just after the brige and both enzo and april watches excitedly how you plaed it so effortlessly. theo watched you and he couldn't help the proud smile settling on his face.

in the haze of smoke and dreams, i'll keep searching for some reprieve, but until then, I'll keep the smoke, eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

the song ended with the last note of draco's keyboard. you admired how they could go from a full on rock song, to a slow and almost sad outro.

you helped theo to unplug the instruments. draco and blaise said their goodbyes pretty soon, walking out of the garage mumbling something about a new videogame, mattheo was close behind them.

enzo and april exchanged a look, before he threw his not broken arm around her shoulder.

"we're going to the cinema" enzo exclaimed when he noticed your questioning gaze.

"okay" you smiled as you send april a look. 'call me later' you mouthed, before you watched them walk out to april's car.

"y/n" theo said to gain your attention "thank you for helping us, really, i appreciate it"

"it's not a problem" you smiled "just, why did you ask me? i know that you can play, you didn't need me"

"you're way better" he smiled "my heart also belongs to the acoustic guitar and it's way more fun to move freely on stage"

you rolled your eyes laughing at his dumb reasons, but nodded understandingly anyway. "can i also ask you something?"

theo raised his brows "sure"

"did you write daddy issues to hurt me?"

"i understand why you might think i did" theo muttered "but back then, no" he admitted "i wrote it for you to listen to whenever you felt like that. i thought about not putting it on the album after everything that happened, but i wrote it for both of you and leo had made me promise"

"typical" you laughed "he demands something and once he leaves everything goes to shit"

"i'm sorry i made you play it" theo muttered.

"it's alright" you took the acoustic guitar from the couch and held it in his direction. "can you do something else for me? could you play it for me? the way you intended it to be played?"

he nodded and took the guitar from your hand before he sat down across from you. he softly stroked the chords and the words that were coming out of his mouth didn't feel like they were supposed to hurt you, they felt gentle, like a hug.

gentle, like the days you had spent up in the treehouse, crying in his lap as he stroked your hair the same way he was now stroking the chords.

go ahead and cry, little girl nobody does it like you do i know how much it matters to you i know that you got daddy issues and if you were my little girl i'd do whatever I could do i'd run away and hide with you i know that you got daddy issues

he played softly, almost cautious, as if he wanted to fix you with his singing alone. he ended the song and you couldn't help but smile at him, even if tears were running over yours cheeks. he put the guitar down and sat next to you on the couch.

"why did you ask me to do that?"

"because i don't want to think of the song as something bad…not anymore" you explained as you wiped your tears away. "not when leo didn't intend it to be"

"he loved it" theo said softly "made him cry like a baby"

"because you're so good at writing" you laughed.

"no" theo shook his head "he cried because of you, because i think for the first time he could really understand how you felt"

"thank you" you said.

"nothing to thank me for" theo smiled softly.

"do you want to hear a secret?" you asked. you knew not everything between you was normal again, but you trusted him enough and right now, there in the garage, was a time where safety was all around you.

"sure" theo nodded and watched you expectingly. you turned your head to look at him.

"i haven't spoken to my dad in a year" you admitted.

"oh" theo breathed surprised. "why not?"

"i don't really know" you shrugged, it wasn't the whole truth, but you were not at the point of telling whole truths yet "but i think it's alright, i don't think there's anything we could still say to each other"

"i'm sorry"

you shrugged "it is what it is, right?" you tried to smile, but theo shook his head.

"it shouldn't be like this"

"it's not like i can miss anything" you shrugged and theo frowned.

"it's just unfair. i'm sorry, y/n"

"where did pixie go?"

"i thought you hated when i called you that"

"i did" you smiled lopsided "but now i kinda miss her"

"do you ever know what you want?" theo laughed and you shrugged, while you shook your head. he looked at his phone, to check the time. "are you free tonight?"

"sure, why?"

"a friend of mine is throwing a party and his band is playing, i promised to come, do you maybe want to accompany me?"

you shrugged "it's not like i have anything better to do, so why not?"

"i feel honored that you spend time with me nonetheless, pixie" theo smiled and you mirrored his expression. for the first time in a while his nickname for you did not sound malicious.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐯𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you seem to be a pretty good match, until things go out of control

warnings: underage drinking, cursing, trauma (bad relationship with parents), sexual references, depression, fighting, mention of death

note: this is absolutely the most gut wrenching chapter so far! get ready lmao!! and for the people still wondering who leo is: you will find out in this chapter!!

previous part | masterlist | next part

theo walked you both through a forest, taking weird paths that he claimed to be shortcuts. you giggled anytime he almost fell over a branch and he laughed deeply and almost lovingly as you stumbled against him a few times, because it was already dark.

at the party he walked you around, introducing you to foreign people and it made you heart flutter, that he did not introduce you with your name alone.

"curtis" he said when a blonde and tall boy entered his field of vision "this is my friend, y/n"

"hi, theo's friend y/n" curtis greeted and you smiled up at his tall figure.

"is your band playing tonight?" you asked and curtis nodded proudly.

"i'm the keyboarder" he explained "you will love it, i promise"

you normally hated boys with too big of an ego (maybe because of theo), but curtis was actually lovely and seemed like he meant it in a nice way. he reminded you of enzo and you instantely liked him.

"get your lady something to drink, theo" curtis patted the dark haired boys shoulder before he turned back to you "zero manners, huh?"

you giggled and curtis promised to come back and talk to you after the gig. theo walked you to a small table filled to the brim with different kinds of alcohol.

"what do you want?" he asked and you raised your brows as your eyes glided along the table.

you would rather not drink any alcohol, but there was nothing without it. also, you didn't want to explain why, so you just pointed to the bottle of sparkling wine and watched how theo filled a glass for you.

he took a bottle of beer for himself and walked you back into the crowd so you could listen to curtis and his band.

you had to admit that they were really good, but (and you did not say that to theo or curtis when he came to talk to you later) nothing in comparison to cursed legacy.

you sipped your sparkling wine as theo walked you around the party and talked so some of his friends. there were a few you found pretty funny, boys that reminded you of blaise and draco, as they were dancing weirdly across the dance floor.

and curtis' girlfriend was like a carbon copy of april. she joined you as you watched the boys and couldn't hold your laughter at their ridiculous dancing.

"friends like that keep your soul young" lily had said as she sat down next to you. "i'm lily" she added as she noticed your surprised expression "curtis’ girlfriend"

"y/n" you smiled "theo told half the people here to call me pixie, but don't listen to him, he's an idiot. and i know, i have the exact same friends on the other side of the town"

"so a few meters from here?" lily joked and you joined in on her laughter.

"something like that"

"are you theo's girlfriend?" she followed your eyes that were watching him as he was talking to curtis and another boy you hadn't been introducted to yet.

"no" you shook your head. theo turned his head and smiled at you, before he waved for you to come and join the conversation.

"they way he looks at you tells a different story" said lily as she followed you through the crowd.

you shook your head laughing. lily stepped next to curtis, who threw an arm around her body and you stepped next to theo, who, to your surprise, did the same.

later, theo and you started walking back home. you had said goodbye to the people you had met tonight, while theo had to promise both curtis and lily that he would bring you around more often. lily was so drunk that she almost cried as you told her that you were leaving, which made you like her even more.

you loved people that didn't get aggressive or angry when they got drunk, but rather emotional or funny.

"are you sure this is the right way?" you mumbled as you followed theo through the forest, your hand in his as he took paths that looked like they were not supposed to be walked on.

"trust me, baby" theo laughed and the nickname made your heart flutter. you were glad that he couldn't see your face.

to your surprise you came out of the forest right in front of your houses. the moon was shining down on the street, making it easier to see his beautiful face.

"so much music tonight and we didn't even dance"

"you're right" you smiled "what do we do now?"

"i have something on here" theo said as he took out his phone. "it's a song that was supposed to be on the album, but i scrapped last minute"

"oh" you said surprised "what is it about?"

"you"

you laughed unsurely "so pixie dream girl or daddy issues part two?"

"no" theo said quickly as he shook his head "it's not like that, it's not mean"

"why did you scrap it?"

"because leo was helping me to decide which songs were good enough for an album and i didn't want him to see this one"

you smiled up at him, before you finally nodded. "play it"

he set down the phone and pressed play, before he took your hand in his, one hand on your hip. the song was soft and gentle and you could hear the guitar and dracos keyboard.

"how did you record the guitar if leo didn't know about it?" you wondered.

"i played it myself" theo shrugged and you smiled as you heard his voice. "i wrote the song when you started hanging out with cormac and we stopped spending as much time"

i know a place it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face we get married in our heads something to do while we try to recall how we met

he twirled you around on the street, moving you away and then back close to his chest again.

the bridge was definitely your favorite part of the song, as you softly hummed along.

there was something 'bout you that now i can't remember it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender and i miss you on a train, i miss you in the morning i never know what to think about

you didn't want him to know, but you cried a bit. the song was so incredibly beautiful that it made your head hurt. right before the song was over, theo started singing along, supporting the theo from months ago.

about you about you do you think i have forgotten about you? (don't let go)

he hugged you close to his body while you both swayed to the last few tunes of the song.

"that's how you felt? all while i was still there?" you asked him once he had pushed the phone into the back pocket of his trousers.

"it felt like you were worlds away" theo muttered "you were so obsessed with cormac that all i could do was write a song about how you were slipping away"

"i was sixteen and in love" you argued.

"i know" theo smiled "i was too"

you looked up at him in surprise and a bit of hope in your eyes. "and what about now?" you asked

"now i'm seventeen" he shrugged.

"and in love?" you asked carefully.

"deeply" his hands wandered to hold your hip, as you stepped closer to his body. your hands went to his neck. he drew you closer and slowly connected your lips. his lips were soft and warm and they felt like home in a place that hadn't felt like a home in a long time.

he brushed some of your hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss, softly pushing his tongue through your lips. you smiled at that.

as you broke the kiss, he softly leaned his forehead against yours.

"do you want to come inside?" you asked as you pointed to your house.

theo smiled as he nodded. you took your key out of your bag and opened the door. to your surprise, you could hear someone move through the house.

it was well past midnight, so you shrieked in surprise when your mum turned on the light. she screamed at the same time as you did.

you wondered what she was doing up here. normally she wouldn't come out of bed or up here in general. she would spend most days in bed, curled up under leo's bedsheets.

"y/n!" she screamed and you noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"mum" you muttered as you looked back at theo, who was still standing in the entryway, unsure what to do.

"where have you been?" she screamed. "you're soaked!" theo's and your eyes went down your body simultaneously. you were completely dry.

"i'm not, mum" you shook your head "maybe you should go back to bed" you tried to grab her arm but she moved away from your hold.

"i told you not to go out in the rain"

"mum, i didn't, really"

"where have you been all night?" she screamed and winced. "i have been sick with worry! you've been gone for hours, y/n!"

"mum, i-"

"i don't want to hear another word!" she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. "leo, sweetheart is that you?" she only seemed to notice theo, now that you were not standing in front of him anymore.

you and him exchanged a look. "no, mum" you softly said "that is theo" you turned your head back at him "maybe you should better go"

he nodded at your suggestion.

"leo, sweetheart" your mum called as she saw him moving. theo froze. "where are you going?" you held her in place as she tried to move closer to him.

"go, home, theo" you said "i'll call you"

"where's leo?" the calm in her voice was suddenly gone and she was screaming again. theo turned around alarmed.

"go, i'll call you" you repeated. "you shouldn't have called him" your mother screamed "why did you call him?" she sank down on the ground sobbing and screaming as she held her arms close to her chest. you sat down beside her.

you looked up and saw the sad look on theo's face. "please, go, theo"

he left and closed the front door behind him.

your mother calmed down quickly and you were able to bring her back down to bed. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and you watched her for a few minutes as you wiped your cheeks to get rid of your tears.

you shared the color of her eyes and hair, the way she used to walk down the street and the sound of laughter, that you hadn't heard since that night a year ago.

you kissed her head softly, before you got up and left the room. "goodnight, mum" you mumbled before you closed the door.

then you walked up to your room. the curtain of your window was open and you saw theo sitting at his window on the other side. you saw him scribble something down on his blog, before he pressed it against the window.

is she always like this?

you shrugged, before you took your own blog and wrote an answer.

not always, but sometimes she freaks out and thinks it's that night again

what is she doing normally? it's the first time i saw her in a year

you weren't sure what to answer. you didn't want to lie to him, but the truth embarassed you.

she stays here

she doesn't leave the house?

no

you could see the same look of pity in theo's eyes as you always saw in april's. she was the only one who really knew how bad your mother had gotten.

i'm sorry you had to see that, you wrote

theo shook his head, he held his hand against the window, as if to touch yours, i'm here

you held your hand against the glass too, as you smiled at his gesture. i know

you sat there for longer than you should have, only going to bed as soon as you couldn't keep your eyes open and were almost falling asleep on the desk.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

sunday was warm and thick and theo came to pick you up. all of you, the rest of the guys and april, went to the lake behind the garage to go swimming.

the sun was relentless but you were so happy that you did not mind.

april and enzo had arrived hand in hand, kissing each other all over their faces, before they announced that they were finally dating. you were more than just happy for them and exchanged conspiritorial looks with theo as they mentioned how they had spend their night.

none of your friends knew about your and theo's adventure from the night before, or the times you had spent in each others embrace. you were glad that they had stopped asking questions about the way you acted after the last time.

you hadn't been sure if you would have been able to lie, but your friends kept their mouths shut, silently smiling and fully accepting the new normal.

theo had send you the demo of about you and you had spent any free minute listening to it. this was your song, the song that was truly about you and you couldn't love it more.

and for now, everything that had happened between you just belonged to the two of you.

theo walked into the garage to get a few more beers as he ran into mattheo, who came back from the toilet.

"hey, mate" he patted theo's shoulder, as the latter bend down to open the fridge.

mattheo's eyes wandered to the window that overlooked the lake. blaise and draco were standing on top of the tree that was hanging over the water, while they tried not to fall down. april and you were loudly laughing as you tried to throw each other into the water. enzo came up behind the two of you and helped to throw april inside, before he pushed you in after her. mattheo watched as your head came back up and you began laughing.

"you have to tell her" mattheo mumbled "the concert is in a few days"

"i know" theo muttered, before he took a big sip from his beer. "but she's so happy" his heart fluttered as he watched you run across the grass as draco and blaise were chasing you.

"all the more reason to tell her" mattheo nodded "maybe she doesn't mind"

"i don't know" theo shrugged "i still lied to her"

"not if you just tell her" theo nodded at his friend before he left the room. mattheo bend down to get a beer for himself, as his eyes returned back to the glass. you were in the lake again and you face lit up as your eyes fell on theo.

you held your hand in his direction, before you dragged him in to the water. mattheo could hear you giggle, followed by theo's warm laughter as he held you close to his body and dipped you down in the lake. "so, that's how it is?" mattheo mumbled smiling as he watched the two of you.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

monday came fast and so did the bad weather. it had been raining since the morning and you couldn't be more glad that april and theo both had their own cars so no one had to walk.

"good morning, baby" theo greeted as soon as you sat down in his car. he turned in your direction expectingly, moving his lips. you giggled before you kissed him and he leaned back with a satisfied grin.

on your way to school you picked up draco and blaise who were talking about a switch in the atmosphere. you and theo listened to their blabbering as you exchanged looks with each other.

"this was disgusting" mattheo said as he climbed from the backseat of april's car. she had driven him and enzo to school with her. "two people in love and i have nowhere to escape"

"yeah" draco nodded "i kind of feel the same" blaise and him exchanged confused gazes, not quite realizing what they were talking about just yet.

"should we head to english?" you asked before one of them was able to further think about it.

"sure" april took your arm as she dragged enzo behind her. theo stayed close to you, but did not hold your hand.

mrs walker was on time today and she even smiled as she noticed the friendly conversation you and theo were having. "war is over, huh?" she smiled and you softly nodded.

it was the first time in months that you did not mind theo sitting so close to you. you needed his warmth, as if his and your body were magnets of opposite sides, always pulling each other close.

during class, theo was drawing hearts on your hand with his finger and you wondered when you had forgotten how soft love was.

love was back, because theo was and you had missed him terribly, even before there was that wall of fault between the two of you. you had thought that there was no way to fix what had been broken, but maybe you had been wrong.

theo had felt the same, as he had told you. and he understood you, understood the way you could not have a relationship with your father, the way you felt sad anytime your eyes fell on your mother and why you had taken down every photo of your brother and put them in a box under the bed.

"i take them out when i want to remember" you had told him "when i'm ready to feel him"

"do you think you will be able to hang them up again?" theo had asked.

"i don't know" it broke a piece of your heart that you weren't able to really tell "maybe there will just always be something broken inside of me"

"and your parents?" he had pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "are they broken too?"

"more than me" you had said "that's why i can only be broken at certain times"

theo squeezed your hand before he had to take it away to write something down. you smiled at him, before you started writing too.

suddenly your phone buzzed in the back pocket out your trousers. there were only fifteen minutes of class left, but maybe it was important, so you took it out without mrs walker noticing and opened the message that had been send from an unknown number.

hey, peanut it read and you heart stopped beating. it's dad. how are you? dave called me to tell me about the record deal for leo's band, i heard they're making great music. theo messaged me too, is he your boyfriend? he told me that you needed to talk. call me!! xoxo dad

you stared down at the message and your whole body froze. dave fraser was the guy that was eventually giving the guys the record deal? you knew it had to have been leo who contacted him. and theo had messaged your dad? a thousand questions were running through your mind, but before you got a chance to answer them, another message came in.

i'm sure everything will work out with the deal. dave is obsessed with the guys and pixie dream girl! he told me i should come and listen to them play on saturday. will you be there too? didn't theo used to call you pixie? kinda funny!

yeah, you thought, funny.

"y/n?" mrs walker called "do you know the answer to number five?"

"what?" you muttered as you looked up from the phone in your hand.

"i asked if you knew the answer to number five" mrs walker repeated, but her eyes grew wider as she noticed the tears in your eyes "are you alright?"

you shook your head before you grabbed your bag and pushed your blog inside. "can i please leave?"

"ehh" mrs walker seemed to be caught off-guard before she finally nodded. you grabbed your things and ran out of the room under the confused eyes of your friends.

"excuse me" you could hear a voice call and quickly, steps were following after you. it was theo and you just quickened your pace.

"y/n!" he called. "are you alright?" there were another few pairs of feet running over the floor.

"you can't just all leave class" you could hear mrs walker say.

"it's important" april said.

"we will write an extra essay" enzo promised and you could hear both mattheo and draco groan.

"are you nuts?" blaise said loudly, before he was scolded by mrs walker.

you walked down the steps, theo behind you and behind him april, enzo, mattheo, draco and blaise.

"where are you going?" theo asked, but you ignored him. he followed you outside into the rain, where he finally caught up with you, holding your arm so you had to freeze in your step.

the rest of your friends waited under the little roof before the doors.

"what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"what has gotten into me?" you repeated laughing "what the fuck is wrong with you, huh?"

"what are you talking about?" you both were already soaked.

"you're playing pixie dream girl on saturday?" you asked.

before he could stop himself, theo had already answered "how do you know?"

mattheo hid his face in his hands and enzo groaned audibly.

"so it's true then?" you asked "and i bet all of you knew" you looked behind theo and into the guilt-ridden faces of your friends.

"we wanted to tell you-i mean i wanted to, really"

"yeah, you did? were you waiting for the right moment? taking bets when would be the funniest time?"

"no, you don't understand"

"oh, i think i do" you shook your head as you cried "you're still punishing me for everything that happened a year ago"

"what? no, i'm not" theo almost pleaded for you to believe him.

"did he tell you everything?" you turned to the other boys "how's your next song about me called, huh? y/n's psycho mother?"

"y/n, we don't know what you're talking about" mattheo said.

"oh you don't? well, let me clear things up as long i have the chance to do so myself" you clenched your hands together, you were already shaking from the harsh cold of the rain "what did you miss? my mother has gone completely off the rails since my brother died, my dad and i haven't spoken in a year and i think i have a lot of issues too"

you could hear april cry and the rest of the boys also looked like they were absolutely distraught.

"theo was a great friend" you said bitterly "while i went to him crying, he wrote a song that he knew would hurt me and he still put it on the album. and after i told him i how i felt about it, he claimed it was supposed to help me, while he aired out my dirty laundry to everyone in this fucking town"

"daddy issues" draco muttered under his breath.

"damn right" you pointed in his direction.

"daddy issues is about y/n?" enzo asked and he looked as betrayed as you felt.

"y-yeah" theo muttered "but i did not mean to hurt her"

"that's funny, theo" you laughed sarcastically "did you also not mean to hurt me when you messaged my father?"

"you did what?" april asked angrily and was ready to step next to you, but enzo held her back before she could walk in the rain.

"i know you don't want to talk to him, but i thought-"

"thought you knew my life better than i do?" you asked angrily "the night of leo's death, my dad spent hours screaming at me. my brother had just died and he stood in front of me while he told me how everything was my fault. he was the one telling me that he didn't want to see me again" you raised your arms "but who am i to complain about that, right? at least he's paying his child support, more than he has to actually, or mum and i would live on the street now. because she doesn't leave leo's fucking bed" you screamed in the direction of your friends "she never gets up" you added.

april sobbed and you noticed that all of the others had tears in their eyes as well.

"she's a mess" you muttered "but even she thinks it's my fault. you remember theo? that night in my house, when she thought you were leo? do you know how it feels to come home and she turns on the light and there's a flicker of hope in her eyes, because just for a short second she thinks i'm her dead son? and when she notices that it's me, just me, she just goes back to bed"

"we didn't know" blaise said softly.

"because i didn't want anyone to know" you said "but theo is running around telling people whatever he feels like and all of this will probably be featured on your second album anyway, so fuck it, right?"

"i'm so sorry" theo cried and you couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on his face.

"sorry isn't cutting it this time, theo" your voice was a lot calmer now "you asked if i will be able to hang leo's pictures up again and the most honest answer i can give you is that i don't know if i could bare to look at his face while knowing that i killed him"

"you didn't kill him" theo argued.

"it doesn't matter to me how you see all of this, theo" you shook your head "just leave me alone, okay? but this time for real. i don't want to see you and i don't want to speak to you" you paused, before you added "because the real reason why we aren't friends anymore is that after everything that happened, you didn't even have the decency to come to leo's funeral. he was your friend, your best friend"

you send one last look in the direction of your friends, before you started to walk away.

theo called your name and you turned your head, but mattheo held him in place. you nodded at him, thankfully. april looked between enzo and theo, before she shook her head and ran after you.

she put her arm around you and let you cry into her shoulder as you both walked through the rain. away from your friends and away from theo, who you swore in that moment, had broken your heart for the last time.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

guys i need fic requests for ttpd songs!! check out the characters i write for (request + rules on my nav) and start requesting!!

theo and pixie tonight!! get ready for a super emotional chapterrrr 😝

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐱: 𝐢'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo tries to make everything right, but it might seem to be too late. all while your brother makes an unexpected appearance and interfers with your love life

warnings: mentions of a loved one dying, car accident, trauma, underage drinking, angst

notes: feels like an eternity since i posted the last chapter lmao

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one year ago

cormac had left the party an hour ago. he had just left you there, standing in the middle of the dance floor, as he bid off the passenger seat of his cabrio to a girl whose name you couldn't even remember now. all you knew was that she was sitting on the passenger seat that had been supposed to be yours.

you were drunk out your friend and had zero idea in which direction your house was. you took a look out of the window. it was raining and it would be a stupid idea to just blindly walk in one direction in the dark.

you thought about a way to get home, when a voice behind you made you perk up.

it was theo. he was taking to two guys you had never seen before. you smiled as your heart beat calmed down.

you knew theo, theo would help you.

"theo" you slurred and hiccuped.

theo did not look as happy to see you, as you were to see him.

"cormac" you hiccuped again "left me and i wanted to ask if you could drive me home?"

"i told you, he was bad news" theo rolled his eyes as the two other guys walked away.

"i know" you hiccuped "and you were right"

he nodded. his eyes already fixated on something or someone behind you.

"could you please drive me?" you asked "it won't take long, i promise"

"it would take half an hour" theo argued "we're not in town anymore. do you even know where you are?"

you shook your head and he sighed. you thought he would maybe say yes and rip you a new one on the drive home, but theo shook his head and your heart sank.

"call a taxi or something"

"please, theo" you pleaded "please, help me"

theo laughed sarcastically. "just yesterday you told me we couldn't be friends anymore, because i don't approve of your asshole of a boyfriend. so tell me, why should i do anything to help you?"

tears were running over your cheeks at this point and you could only watch as theo threw off your grip on his arm and walked away from you.

you got your jacket from the hanger at the door, before you walked out into the cold. the rain was dripping into your face, but you didn't mind. you started walking in any direction, as you took out your phone and dialed your older brother.

"leo?" you hiccuped as soon as your call was answered.

"y/n?" leo's voice was hoarse, he had probably been asleep.

"i'm sorry for calling you so late" you cried into the phone.

"is everything alright?" he was sounding a lot more awake now. "what happened?"

"cormac left me at this party and i don't know how to get home"

"i'll come and get you" he was moving around, probably getting dressed "can you find out where you are? can you send me your location?"

"yeah" you said and quickly did as he has asked. "i'll wait on the street"

"okay" he checked the location you had send "that's pretty far from mum's house, but it's not as far to dad's place, i will probably be there in ten minutes"

"okay" you said "thank you, leo"

"of course" he said, before the two of you ended the call.

you waited ten minutes, twenty, thirty, before your drunken mind decided that walk in the direction leo would probably come from. maybe he had gotten lost in the dark.

you weren't sure if it was intentional, but at some point you had just started to follow the sound of sirens that were coming from the street a few hundred meters away. the lights were making it hard to miss.

he was already dead when you arrived. the police was busy pushing back the people, but you had recognized your dad's car. and you could see his hand slipping out from under the black cloth. he was still wearing his bracelet and you were wearing the same.

your tears mixed with the rain that was still dripping from the sky. you screamed and two police officers came to check on you.

"are you alright, miss?" the man couldn't have been older than twenty-six.

"that's my brother" you cried.

he turned around to look in the direction of your eyes.

"that's my brother" you repeated. "please" you begged.

the officer helped you to stand up, before he took you by the arm and brought you into the middle of the street, where an older police officer was waiting. the younger one brought you a blanket when he noticed how much you were shivering.

"what's your name?" the older asked

"y/n" you stuttered, your eyes still fixated on leo.

"she's not older than sixteen" you could hear one of the medical assistants whisper.

"how old was he?" the other asked.

"eighteen? or nineteen?"

no you wanted to scream he's only seventeen

“where do you live?” the police officer asked.

“can’t i see him, please?” you cried. the police officer exchanged a look with one of the medical assistants, before he nodded.

you followed them to your brother, who was still laying on the street unmoving, but they wouldn’t raise the cloth. you just touched his hand and the bracelet on his arm. his hand was cold and your heart shattered even more.

“come on” the police officer said. “i’ll drive you home” you didn’t react when he softly took your arm and walked you to sit in his car. you just told him the address of your dad when he asked and watched the street as it moved past you.

he followed you to the door and you could see the smile on your dads face die down when his eyes fell on you. “where’s leo?”

“i’m sorry, sir-“ the police officer began and you blended him out. your eyes were focused on the jacket in the entryway. did leo leave it? did he drive without a jacket to get you? he must’ve been cold.

your fathers sobbing was what brought back. the police officer excused himself, before he pushed you inside the house.

“he wanted to pick me up” you said as you stared up at your father.

and then the screaming began. it only stopped when it was half past three in the night. your father send you a last look, before he told you to grab your things.

he didn’t want you to stay the night.

he stopped the car in front of your mothers house and told you to get outside.

“dad, please” you had begged, but he hadn’t even looked at you.

“i don’t want to talk to you” he had said before he drove off and left you standing in the middle of the street.

you opened the door with your key and as you walked inside, someone turned on the light.

“y/n!” your mother screamed “where have you been? you’re soaked!”

you had sat on your bed and started at the wall for what felt like days. april came to look after you, but both of you didn’t speak. the boys came, but you told april that you didn’t want to see them, so they left.

the only person you wanted to see was theo, but he didn’t come.

the funeral was beautiful, from what you could notice through tear filled eyes and april stayed close to you the entire time, clutching your hand like her life depended on it. hers didn’t, but yours maybe did.

the boys had come, all but theo and after the funeral you all had went to the lake, because it had been leo’s favorite place in the world. it had been his idea to throw together some money and buy the garage. it had been pretty run down when you found it and all of you spent half a year renovating, but in the end it was worth it.

it was the perfect place for all of you and the perfect place to practice songs for the band theo and leo had started.

before enzo, leo had played the guitar. now the band was missing a member and none of them new if it was even fair to go on.

after a few months, enzo, mattheos little brother started playing for them. they continued rehearsing in the garage, april went from time to time to watch them play, while your visits became less and less.

you didn’t want to see theo and from what you heard he didn’t want to see you either, because he stayed away whenever you were near.

weeks turned into months and what seemed like a separation for now turned into normality.

you had almost been glad when theo started talking to you again, even when it was in a malicious way. but that was safe territory, you were having a relationship that allowed both of you to not talk about everything that had happened. you could just ignore it that way.

now

theo spent his days running around his room, thinking about ways to make it up to you, to excuse his actions.

there were lines flowing through his head. a song was forming and he couldn't stop the need to sit down and write everything down, everything that you deserved to hear.

he didn't have the intention of airing out anything. he just wanted to show you what you were worth to him and how sorry he was that he had been the reason you had felt so alone. he had robbed you of your friends, he had robbed you of him, when you had needed him most.

later that day he drove up to the garage to use enzo's guitar. he wanted to feel the words, to make sure they were the right ones.

he played the first few notes, slowly and gently. before he began to sing, crossing words and adding new ones that fitted what he wanted to say better.

when he was finished he called enzo, begging him to send you a message, because you would ignore any message he would send anyway.

can you please come to the garage? please, i really need your help, it's about april

the message enzo had send made you worry. april didn't answer when you tried to call her, so you got the leo's old bike from the shed and rode there as fast as possible.

when you arrived, you walked inside quickly, searching the place with your eyes for kind of sign from enzo or april.

"hey" your eyes fell on the couch where theo was sitting.

you turned around, ready to walk back outside, but he quickly stumbled to his feet, holding your arm before you had the chance to flee.

"did you get enzo to send that message?" you asked "i thought something had happened to him or april. i was worried sick" you slapped a hand against his chest, trying to push him away.

"i know, i'm sorry"

"sorry-"

"doesn't cut it this time, i know" he interrupted "just please, sit down and listen to this"

"another song?" you huffed.

"please, y/n"

you sighed, before you sat down on the couch, you watched him walk around the keyboard, before he took the acoustic guitar and sat down across from you.

"it's called matilda" he muttered "and it's everything i want you to know"

you listened attentively as he played the chords, his voice only a whisper.

you were riding your bike to the sound of "it's no big deal" and you're trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now so you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal

your heart beat faster when he looked up and found your eyes.

you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, mmh

your eyes filled with tears as the soft shiver in his voice and you realized that he was crying too.

matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright but i know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days it's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind

this song felt realer than any he had written before. it felt like everything theo wanted daddy issues to be, before it had been used in a way to hurt you.

you're just in time, make your tea and your toast you framed all your posters and dyed your clothes, ooh you don't have to go you don't have to go home oh, there's a long way to go

you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don't have to be sorry, no

you knew he was referring to the boys and april. it had taken you way too long to realize that they had been your family all this time, even during the hardest year or your life, they had tried to be close and show their love, you had just been too stubborn to accept it.

but love wasn't something that could end. not this kind of love. you had always loved them and you had always loved theo, but right now your heart was too heavy to forgive him, even if you so desperately wanted to.

"thank you" you said and theo looked up with hope in his eyes. "but did you think a song would be enough to fix everything that is broken between us?"

his heart sank and he shook his head.

"i tried to ignore it these past weeks, tried to be your friend" you muttered "because it was easy, it was familiar. but it's like everything that you did this past year comes back anytime i look at you and it makes me wonder how you can say you love me when that was the way you acted"

"i hated myself for what i did" theo admitted "it was my fault that leo needed to come and get you in the first place. i could've brought you home, but i didn't want to, because i was so damn jealous and stubborn"

"why didn't you come to the funeral?"

"because i was ashamed of what i had done that night" he looked down and for a moment you were sure he was gonna grab your hand. he didn't. "but i'm gonna make it up to you, if you just let me"

"it's too late" you shook your head "i appreciate your effort, but it's just too late, theo. i'm sorry"

"just give us one more try" he begged "i know that we belong together"

"theo" you said as you softly touched his cheek, he leaned in, capturing as much of your warmth as possible. "it goes great for a while and then we start fighting. that's just our nature. and we're so fucking immature when it comes to the other"  

"we can make it work"

you shook your head "no we can't" you looked to the ground "you were right when you said that we weren't good for each other. it's because we're not good to each other, at least never for long"

you left the garage and took all in you to not turn around when you heard him sob. there was a part of you that so desperately needed to be close to him, but an even bigger part was just hurt at his actions. that part had been in constant pain since leo had died and you truly did not know how to get rid of that pain.

theo tried calling you about a thousand times, you didn't answer and after some time just blocked his number. he stared at your window all day, but you kept the curtains closed.

you didn’t even mind him telling dave that you would be playing pixie dream girl on saturday, it was just that he had lied to you. and on top of everything else that hurt the most.

enzo had called you too, apologizing for the way he had led you on. he also told you that he had been at the doctors and gotten his cast removed. his hand was well enough for him to play saturday, so there was no need for you to show up.

you had been happy to hear that. after all that had happened you weren't sure if you had had the strength to stand on that stage with him.

it was friday, one day before the concert, when you sat down on the floor of your room and your hands went under the bed, pulling out leo’s box. you were looking for one of his photos, your favorite one of him and you, but you couldn’t find it.

“where is it?” you muttered, as you got back on your feet and looked around the room.

maybe it was downstairs. maybe it was in his room. maybe your mother had took it.

you walked down the steps slowly and carefully, as to not wake her.

leo’s room looked like it always did. it was organized, everything was were it was supposed to be. it had looked like that ever since he had moved in with your dad and only spent the weekends in here.

you walked around the bed and to the shelves where a few photos were displayed. you and him, him and the rest of the band. photos from your childhood, from summer at the lake, from band practices and late nights spend renovating the garage.

you opened the drawer that was filled with his clothes. parts of him that were still here, while he was so far gone.

you didn't find it and your eyes just slipped past your mother when you left the room. before you could continue your search in the livingroom, the doorbell rang.

"go away, theo" you said loud enough for him to hear through the door.

"it's me" a voice said "matt"

you opened the door and it was indeed mattheo who was leaning against the wall.

"if theo send you, you can tell him-"

"he didn't" mattheo interrupted, before his hand went to the back pocket of his trousers and he held a small box in your direction.

it had been wrapped and looked like a birthday gift.

"what is that?" you asked suspiciously.

"it's from leo" mattheo explained "he made me keep it, because you always searched his things for presents, remember?"

you did. you had always done that. it had been a way for yourself to try and react the best way to the gifts you were getting.

"it's from a year ago" mattheo continued "he made me keep it from you. i would've given it to you sooner, but i honestly forgot about it. i just found it because i had to clean out my drawer"

"which drawer?"

"i'd rather not say"

you nodded.

your birthday had been just a few days after the accident. april had baked you a cake and you had spent the day with her, laying in your bed, eating cake and watching movies. it was probably the saddest birthday you had ever had, mostly because you felt leo's absence extra hard.

he had loved birthdays. and he had loved giving gifts.

"thank you" you said finally, as you took the box from his hand. "do you know what's inside?"

mattheo nodded. "i don't want to tell you what to do"

"then don't" you smiled, ready to close the door, but mattheo wouldn't let you go so easily.

"yeah, but i will" he grinned "what happened was pretty messed up, okay? everything with your mum and dad.. theo acted like a fucking idiot and i'm not saying you should just forgive him, but just- both of you should stop punishing yourselves for something that wasn't your fault"

"matty-"

"just because leo died doesn't mean you owe him something" he continued "none of you is at fault for that. it was that fucking drunk driver okay? you and theo aren't cursed or anything and leo wouldn't be angry if you just stopped beating yourself up for something you had no control over"

"i appreciate-"

"just watch what's on this" he tapped the box "then we can continue this argument"

you finally nodded and watched as he walked back out to the street, he waved at you before you closed the door.

despite the uneasiness, you slowly opened the box. in there was just a dvd. you raised your eyebrows. leo had been a bit old school with these things.

you walked into the living room, turning on the dvd player and putting the dvd in, before you started the video.

"hey, y/n" leo was sitting right where you were now. "happy birthday! hopefully you like my present, at least you definitely need it. it's fine if you really like cormac, but don't forget us and uh, don't forget theo, hm?"

what followed was a black screen and then laughter, your laughter. a video started playing. your were chasing theo around the lake, while you could hear leo cheer you on behind the camera.

before you could start to wonder, music started playing and not just any music. about you, theo's unreleased song. so leo had known about it, about the song and probably also about the way theo had felt.

you began crying as other videos followed. leo and you trying to hit the last two bowling pins and failing. mattheo, enzo and you as you tried to make a human pyramid. laughter was heard all throughout as draco, blaise, april and you ran a race that you and april lost by far.

there was a video april had taken of you during practice, as you had sat on the ground before the band. your eyes had been fixated on theo the entire time. you didn't even know this video existed.

"who's taller?" theo asked into the camera. "what do you think?" the camera swung to leo, who smirked.

"you or her?" he pointed between you and theo. "is that a serious question?" your brother laughed and the camera swung back to you, making a face and crossing your arms.

"you're just saying that, because you like him more than me" you muttered with fake offense.

"never" leo laughed, before he pressed a kiss to your cheek, which you immediately rubbed off.

the last video was one of you all sitting at the fire. theo was playing the guitar and you were sitting next to him, watching his every move.

leo turned the camera around. "they're in love" her whispered with his mouth close to the lens, before he turned the camera back at theo and you and zoomed in on you, as you sang along to the song theo was playing. "theo doesn't want to admit it to me" leo continued "but she is his pixie dream girl" you could hear him laugh about the joke to himself as the video ended.

that's where theo had gotten the song title from. someone must've showed him the video at the campfire, maybe that was what tempted him to write about you.

"he was happy in his last months, wasn't he?" you almost shrieked as you suddenly heard your mother speak. you turned your head. she was standing behind the couch and she looked unusually awake. her face was as tear stained as your cheeks and you nodded.

"he was" your eyes fell on the on the photo she was holding pressed to her chest. she followed your eyes and sighed.

"i'm sorry" she exclaimed "i found it in your room and took it. it wanted to have my children near me and i always loved this picture of the two of you. i was about to give it back"

"it's alright, mum" she was so clear all of a sudden.

"come here, baby" she sat down beside you and opened her arms, so you could crawl under the blanket next to her. "i missed you"

"you did?" you asked surprised.

"i know it's my own fault" she said "i shut you out. you didn't deserve the way i treated you, i'm so sorry"

"mum" you muttered. "it's alright"

"no it's not" she pressed a kiss to your head "i will get healthy, okay? i promise. i lost my son that night, but my daughter is still here and i have to become a better mother"

"it was my fault" you whispered "that's why you got so sick"

"oh, baby" she shook her head "it was never your fault, i should've gotten help for myself immediately, but i just wanted to be alone. i never wanted you to feel like anything that happened that night was your fault and i was wrong to worry you, to let you feel like you had to get through this alone"

"i wasn't alone" you assured her "i had april"

"and theo right?" your mother pointed to the paused picture of you and theo at the campfire.

"theo and i don't really talk anymore"

"why not?" your mum asked surprised "you were always so close"

"we started falling out before leo's death and after that we didn't really talk to each other anymore" you explained "we became friends again, but he did some pretty hurtful things"

she looked at you expectingly, waiting for you to continue.

"he wrote a few songs about me and he messaged dad"

"oh" your mother breathed, before she cleared her throat "do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?"

"there's nothing to forgive, i was never really angry" you admitted "i just felt so alone"

"i know, sweetheart" she nodded "i promise i will make it up to you" she nudged your arm "but if you're able to forgive me after all the horrible things i did to you these past months, don't you think you will be able to forgive him too?"

your eyes fell on the tv. you thought about the way theo's and your eyes connected and you thought about what leo had said.

they're in love.

"yeah" you nodded "maybe i will"

authors note: what do you guys think? should pixie forgive theo? :)

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

chapter seven of don’t blame me tomorrow!! so i’d love to know:

also additionally (in the comments) : there are only two chapters until dbm is over.. who should definitely have a few more interactions with pixie? :)

⛧༺ ’no body, no crime‘ ༻⛧

IN WHICH you try to solve an ongoing mystery in hogwarts, while actively trying not to fall in love.

coming soon…

CONTENT !

pairing: theodore nott x fem!potter!reader

characters: harry potter, hermione granger, ron weasley, ginny weasley, luna lovegood, neville longbottom, draco malfoy, blaise zabini, lorenzo berkshire, theodore nott, pansy parkinson, mattheo riddle

genre: mystery, romance, horror

warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, murder, suggestive language

episode 001. dinner and a glass of wine

during the christmas holidays, a heavy snowstorm isolates hogwarts, leaving only a handful of students and teachers stranded at the castle. the events turn deadly when a teacher is found murdered

episode 002. no, there ain't no doubt

to be continued...

episode 003. i ain't letting up until the day i die

to be continued...

episode 004. somebody's gotta catch him out

to be continued...

episode 005. i think he did it but i just can't prove it

to be continued...

episode 006. i wasn't letting up until the day he died

to be continued...

EXTRAS !

ೃ⁀➷ playlist

to get you in the right mood for a dark academia murder mystery

ೃ⁀➷ moodboards

insight to the characters aesthetics

ೃ⁀➷ extra scenes

once the series is finished, requests will be opened, revealing the insight in more scenes you want to see

ೃ⁀➷ taglist: @melsunshine @shereadsandcries @ch3rry-lips @the-sylver-dragon @mayamonroem @allurearia @prongsprincessworld @brokenpoetliz @winterbarnesblog @mysummerwinesblog @cowboy-luvr @ahead-fullofdreams @mietlynn @maxsisly @too-efn-old-to-be-here @reverse-soe

let me know if you want to be added!!

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you get your happy ever after

warnings: i don’t think there are any! let me know if that’s not true :)

note: here it is!! finally the epilogue is here! i loved writing this series so much!! please let me know what you thought of this chapter and/or the story in general!

!!!make sure to keep your eyes on the extras that are coming tomorrow (and feel free to request drabbles/ fics on future or past situtations in the don’t blame me universe, or questions you still have!! i will be thrilled to answer them!!)!!!

word count: 3.9k

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

previous chapter | masterlist |

"mommy?“ a voice called and your head snapped to the side. "can you give me one of those paper towels?“

you rolled your eyes smiling at his antics and nodded, before you threw one in his direction.

"mate, you know i love you, but please stop acting out your mommy kink on my girlfriend“ theo hit mattheo's shoulder.

"well, y/n is the closest thing i have to a mother right now" mattheo argued dramatically "she takes care of me when i'm sick, she cuts apple slices for me—"

"—we've been on tour for two months" theo shook his head "it's not like you're never gonna see your mum again, get a grip"

"it's alright" you smiled. "i don't mind"

mattheo nodded "see?"

“yeah, whatever” theo shook his head “just get ready, please? we start in ten”

after the concert a few months ago, cursed legacy had gotten their record deal. dave had been impressed by their show, he wanted them to play opener for the rest of the following tour leg.

as soon as the school holidays began you joined them, traveling around the country.

theo and you couldn’t be happier. everything was going great and you were ready to tackle life together.

since the concert, theo had not stopped writing songs and they were only a month away from releasing their second album, soft death.

he was always talking about how you were the muse behind most of the songs. and you had to admit that they had never had so many love songs played (or written) before.

during the tour they had made many new fans, their followers growing while were getting more and more attention. they were already playing a few songs from the new album constantly and about you was a fan favorite. your favorite was echoes of devotion, which theo had written for you. it was the second song they played every night.

“see you later” mattheo took a look to his phone, checking the time, before he pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek and quickly walked away.

theo rolled his eyes before he turned to you and gave you a long and passionate kiss, before he too took off after mattheo to get on stage.

you collected your things, before you started walking. you already knew that it would be hard to feel normal again once you were home in a month and college would start. how could you ever live a normal life after being treated like royalty?

you took your stage pass and walked in the direction of the tents. you hadn’t seen the rest of the band in hours. the reasons were simple enough. draco and blaise had made it their personal chore to walk around the venues before every show, claiming something about a good luck charm they absolutely needed. they had asked you to accompany them on a few occasions, which you did but quickly regretted after they spent the entire time talking about their hook ups from the night before.

they had already adopted the rockstar life style.

quite the opposite of that was enzo. he spent hours in the back of the bus, or in his hotel room, talking to april on his phone. she had come to a few shows, but she couldn’t be there constantly because of work and so they had decided to face time or text in any given moment. you rarely saw the boy without his phone.

april had been scared that their relationship would not last. she had feared that enzo would quickly realize how limiting a relationship was when there were a few hundred girls basically licking the ground on which he walked.

you had told her that enzo wasn’t like that, but you could still understand why she was feeling that way and promised to keep your eye on him.

enzo had done nothing more than proof the both of you terribly wrong. most of the time he did not even look into the direction of other girls, let alone talk to them.

that the rest of the band was busy could’ve been to your and theo’s advantage, making it possible to enjoy time for only the two of you, if there hadn’t been matt, who made it his personal task to follow you around like a lost puppy.

you loved him, you really did. during the time the both of you had only grown closer, going back to the sibling like relationship you had once had, but at times you wished he was anywhere else.

especially that one time when theo and you were making out on the couch of the tour bus and mattheo came barging in and acted like he didn’t know that he had just interrupted something, before he planted himself in the middle of theo and you and started playing star wars on the tv.

"good evening!" enzo's voice roared through the microphone, after they had come out and played only angel. the crowd cheered. "the next song we're gonna play is about a very special someone. our front man's girl to be exact. he's a very smitten man, so naturally, this is a very emotional love song, feel free to hold up your flashlights.. here is echoes of devotion!"

the crowd cheered once again, while you clapped your hands, your cheeks as red as the curtain next to the stage. theo's voice was always what started the song, he looked just as cheesy as you did, even if enzo had made it a habit to say the same lines every night, you and theo were still flustered about his words.

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,

to tread through shadows, my body numb,

but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,

i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

the music only set in after that. a steady and slow beat that was always responsible for your shiver as it guarded his voice through the chorus.

for i'd turn back, just like him,

my gaze would brake, our future grim,

your fading form, in shadows deep,

my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

the song was balancing right between breaking the crowds heart and animating them to sing along. it was the perfect mix of love and heartache, often making your eyes swell with tears, when you saw theo react the same way.

the song had a special place in both of your hearts. for one part, it was comparing you and theo to your favorite myth, which theo had done knowingly. and second, it reminded you both of how hard love could be, how even loving people deeply could led to hurting them.

it was one of the first songs theo did not sing entirely on his own. the second verse was accompanied by background vocals of the rest of the boys, making it sound almost dreamy and ethereal.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,

i'd sing to you, all night long,

but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,

i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

the second chorus was a little different to the first one, deeper, as theo had said.

for i'd turn back just like him,

the current stronger than we swim,

i'd face the darkness, lose my way,

for one more look, i'd gladly pay

"i don't understand" theo's voice was only above a whisper, making sure no one could hear you both in the treehouse. it was far too late for both of you anyway.

"what?" you had asked, looking up from the ipod in your hand.

"orpheus, that's his name, right?" the boy brushed his hair back, revealing his forehead. he hadn't gotten a haircut in ages, exclaiming something about girls finding him more attractive that way. you had spontaneously laughed at that prediction, considering you were the only girl he talked to. but the boy was fourteen and suddenly very interested in appealing to the opposite gender.

"what about him don't you understand?" you had the same tone in your voice your mother did when she would explain something to you and your brother.

"well, why does he turn around?" theo shrugged his shoulders, as he turned, facing away from you, to continue to paint doodles on the wall of the tree house. "he could've saved her if he had been stronger, if he had loved her enough he could've made it"

"it's not about that, theo" you had mused "orpheus looked back because he loved her so much, because the only way he could've saved her was if he had loved her less. but he didn't"

"i don't know, pixie" you send him a look upon the name, which he obviously couldn't see, your annoyance bouncing off of the back of his head. "i would be able to save you" his simple statement made the air freeze between the two of you, hitting deeper than it had been meant.

"then you don't love me enough" your voice was only a faint sound, but loud enough to make theo stop in his tracks.

without him noticing the irony of the situation, he turned around to look at you, his blue eyes crashing into yours. the softness in them almost made you shudder, asking yourself if the way you were feeling about him was totally normal. you did not have much experience with boys, but theo was different anyway, he was not like them, he was yours, without any requirements.

"no, i think i do" he whispered back, realizing that the quick act of him turning around had come right after you had simply doubted his love. he knew in that moment that it would never take much for him to turn around for you.

maybe it was the quiet of the night, or teenage hormones mixing up in the air, you weren't really sure later, but theo leaned across the space between you, gently grasping your lips with his, connecting them in a featherlight kiss.

there was no sound in the little room. there were only theo and you. and only your lips were touching.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,

through tempests wild and rivers cold,

i'll brave the depths, defy the night,

to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,

with trembling heart, and no disguise,

to say, my love, in honesty,

i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

later that night, after the concert was finished and the band was saying their goodbyes, ready to leave the stage, you were waiting for theo behind the stage.

blaise and draco came down first, each of them ruffled your hair, before they walked away to find snacks.

enzo winked at you, holding his hand up for a high-five, which you gladly accepted.

matt plastered both of your cheeks with kisses, laughing deeply as you tried to slap him away.

all of the boys (except for theo of course) had grown to be like your brothers, but enzo and matt stood out the most. enzo was like the little brother you never had, especially because of his relationship with april.

mattheo had been protective of you ever since leo had brought you with him the first time at the age of five. he had looked out for you ever since, often joining forces with leo, when he forbid you from doing something.

even if you sometimes acted annoyed at him, you knew deep down that you needed matt, just as much as you needed your organs to survive. he had been (unlike theo at certain times) a constant in your life, you had never quite managed to get rid of. matt had made it clear to you that he wouldn't leave you alone. both of you were everything that was left of leo for the other.

you could see it in the way matt acted, when he would text you the most random things or when he was lifting you off the ground after he had predicted you would miss the single stair in front of your feet.

and he could see it in your face, as you scrunched your nose when you found something disgusting or when your eyes lit up at the mention of ice cream. or sometimes, in the rare moments when his heart ached the most, when you would laugh, and immediately stop, as you both realized how much it sounded like your brother.

it was impossible for either of you to forget leo, if you had still so much left of him.

the cologne was the first thing that entered your nose and just a second after, theo rumbled down the stairs, heavy footsteps echoing over the instruments that were already being played on stage.

he was wearing a white shirt, he had gotten it himself, your name written over his heart with a cursive lilac thread. his hair was messy and a little bit sweaty. you remembered the heat of the stage lights from the night of the concert months ago and your skin burned.

his jeans were dark and loose, you had joked that he needed to wear skinny jeans, because he was in a boyband. you had to search for a picture of harry styles, for him to believe that that used to be a thing.

his face lit up when his eyes fell on you. he pecked your lips, as he threw an arm across your shoulder. another kiss to your hair following.

"my dad messaged me" you said as you walked further behind the stage.

theo perked up at that "will he meet us for dinner?"

"yeah, yeah" you rolled your eyes, uninterested in talking about the boring information. you grinned, as you halted in your step, taking his hand in yours, as you almost jumped up and down from excitement. "we will probaly see a whole lot of him in the future"

theo raised his brows, confused what you were hinting at. your smile grew bigger as you could see the realization set in on his face.

"cadence?" he asked, not quite believing it.

you quickly nodded your head, your excitement resulting in a giggle, as he threw his arms around your body, pulling you close to his chest.

theo had applied to the college months ago. your father had just texted you to tell you that he was in. the mail was only being sent out the coming week and he wanted theo to know. that's also why your father had a lot of connections in the music world and was friends with dave fraser, the guy that had given the guys the record deal. he had worked at the college for the past twenty years, it was a big one, similiar to juilliard, but stationed in england.

while theo would go there, you had applied to many schools close to his (which included, but was not limited to oxford and camebridge). the acceptance letter for camebridge had come last week and the joy on theo's face had been incomparable.

"so it's happening" theo muttered in your ear "we'll both stay"

"i'm going nowhere" you assured, as you intertwined your hands, leading theo back to the tour bus, that would start driving to it's next destination in only a few hours.

"me neither, for now we have seen enough of the world to last us for a few years to come"

"are you joining in?" matt asked when the two of you entered the bus. the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, matt sorting poker chips and enzo's phone was propped up in the middle of the table, april's laughing face on it's screen.

"hey guys!" april smiled.

"hey stranger" you giggled.

"mate, could you please grab the cookies y/n's mum send her?"

"hey, those are for me" you protested.

matt shrugged "well the bus was only for us and i'm still sharing it with you"

you sighed, before you gave theo the okay to get them.

"only two more weeks and you're coming home" april was close to screaming of excitement "it's so boring without you guys. i even began missing blaise"

"hey!" blaise protested, as he grabbed the phone and turned it in his direction, so april was able to see the offended expression on his face.

"yeah, sorry" april muttered "now turn me back"

actually, even if you enjoyed all the special treatment you were receiving on this tour, you couldn't wait to go back home. you couldn't wait for life to be a bit more normal again, even though you were sure that it wouldn't take long before the boys would have their own concerts.

you couldn't wait to watch them grow, but for now, you savored every moment, as long as they still belonged solemnly to you.

"who's gonna start?" mattheo threw the last of the chips down, looking between the rest of you for help.

"i thought you read the rules" draco exclaimed confused.

"well, no" mattheo shook his head "blaise was supposed to"

blaise shook his head repeatedly, claiming to not have been part of mattheo's scheme. the boys began fighting, pointing at each other accusingly.

theo and you exchanged a glance, before you suggested to play a few simple rounds of uno, which everyone agreed on and quickly quieted down.

now everything was finally right and if you could talk to her, you would like to tell your younger self that everything would be alright one day and that she didn't have to be as scared of the future.

a few weeks later, when you were back home, theo helped you pack your things up in your room.

the rest of the tour had gone by in a breeze, and even if all of them decided to concentrate on studying at their respective schools, the band still existed and even dave fraser promised that the career of cursed legacy was far from over. soft death had already been recorded and was coming out in two weeks.

"what's that?" theo asked as he fished a folded piece of paper out of your backpack.

"oh" you furrowed you brows. "i thought i had thrown that away" you shrugged.

"well, what's on it?"

"after i first listened to pixie dream girl, april made me write down my feelings and burn the papers. she was scared that i would do something i would regret" you send him a look.

"okay..but why do you have it if it got burned?" he pressed.

"because i wanted something to remind myself how i felt about all of this"

"am i allowed to read it?" theo asked expectingly "it probably won't be nice"

"i don't care" you shrugged "go on"

theo unfolded the paper, his breath hitching as he read the words you had written. he looked up in surprise and you smiled. "that's—" he mumbled, but couldn't find the right words, surprise and love making it hard to concentrate.

"not mean?" you helped.

theo grinned, before he folded the paper up again and put it in his pocket "i want to keep it"

you smiled and nodded.

and after all this, you stupid stupid boy, you had written that day, you are still the only one my heart wants to know.

you and theo kept your eyes on each other, not one of you daring to look away. you could see every version in him, every stage of his life was readable from his eyes. even that night was readable and you wondered if the was thinking about the same thing you were.

"what was that?" you had asked, your voice raised above the normal whisper.

"what?" theo muttered, feigning innocence. you would've almost believed you had imagined the kiss, but the lipgloss on theo's mouth was telling a different story.

"you kissed me"

"ugh, no?" theo shook his head, crossing his arms defensively.

"ugh, yes?" you outstretched your hand, pointing to his lips. "there, cherry lipgloss"

theo rubbed his mouth in a quick gesture, getting rid of the evidence "where?" he asked, fluttering his eyes.

"right there!" you insisted, fighting back a laugh at his attempt to play it cool.

theo smiled softly, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of fondness and mischief. "okay, fine. maybe i did."

your heart raced as you struggled to find the right words. "why?"

his expression softened, and he reached out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "because... i wanted to."

"okay" you nodded, your voice only above a whisper. "but friends don't—“

"i know" theo had interrupted you. "i'm sorry"

something had shifted between you that night in the tree house, or at least for theo it had. it was like you were the only girl that mattered, like you were the only one that mattered. something about that scared him immensely.

you waited for him to say something. to explain to you what it meant for you, for your friendship. but his eyes were as big as yours and his mind wandered twice as fast. "we are friends" he muttered finally, as if to remind himself.

you nodded, taking it as answer enough.

the years turned faster than the pages of a book, you grew older, stayed inside your rooms when it got dark outside and you and theo never spoke of the night in the treehouse again.

neither of you had known what to say so you rather said nothing.

theo's last words to you that night, replayed themselves over and over again in your mind for the years to follow, even if both of you continued being friends normally.

"i couldn't help it" he had muttered, right after both of you had climbed down the ladder and were ready to go your separate ways.

you smiled at his honesty, as you held back a giggle. you couldn't see his face in the dark, the candle in the lantern you had brought with you had burned down completely, but you had a feeling that he felt the same mix of awkwardness and simple happiness you did.

"will you do that again?" you asked, feeling brave now that he was unable to see your face in the darkness.

air escaped from his nostrils, as he stifled a laugh at your question. "i'm not sure" he said.

"okay"

the air between you was quiet and still and you turned around before you softly walked the path between both of your houses in the direction of the balcony you had climbed down a few hours ago.

the sound of his voice had you stop in your tracks.

"but if it some day comes over me, and maybe it will.." he paused, seemingly searching for the right words.

you listened to him attentively, as your heart fluttered at his implication. it was like you could almost see the colour of his eyes, even if he was standing a few meters across from you, his body standing out against the light of the lantern down the street.

he was standing, his body facing in your direction and simply knowing that he was looking at you made your tummy churn. was this what friendship was supposed to be? or was it something different? was this love? did love really feel like that or where you going crazy?

theo cleared his throat, as he raised his voice so you could hear him clearly over the distance between you "just... don't blame me"

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

cursed legacy as.. chaotic tweets!!

content: tweets from the guys, april and pixie!

cr: to me

note: enjoy, i hope you guys like it :)

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

—anti-hero

pairing: draco malfoy x fem!reader

summary: you hate that you’re so emotional about everything, but draco secretly loves you for it

warnings: none

“hey, guys” your voice was soft and rather quiet, but still loud enough to achieve immediate silence from your boyfriend and his friends.

draco and you had been dating for more than a year now, but you were still not sure his friends even liked you or just tolerated you at most.

“love” draco nodded, a pleased smile on his lips, as he made space for you between him and blaise.

the pairing of the two of you was quite unexpected to say the least. no one in the castle had expected draco malfoy, a slytherin through and through, to fall in love with the sweetest hufflepuff in his year, not even you. you were surprised yourself, when he had one day come to the greenhouse, asking you out for a butterbeer. the rest was history.

“how is you project going?” draco asked.

“well, it’s a bit harder than expected, i have to admit” you shrugged, but draco shook his head.

“nothing you wouldn’t be able to overcome”

“you’re flattering me”

“yeah” blaise exclaimed annoyed “please stop, your guys’ flirting gets on my nerves”

draco and you exchanged a look. “sorry” you quickly excused “i didn’t mean to annoy you”

blaise shook his head, absentmindedly telling you it was fine, before he continued biting down his toast. enzo threw a smile in your direction.

“ignore him” he grinned “he’s been bitter all morning”

“oh what happened?” you asked, rather worried.

draco softly connected your hands, shaking his head at you and whispering something along the lines of telling you about it later.

“oi, we might as well tell her, malfoy” mattheo rolled his eyes, making it evident that he heard every single word.

“i’m not sure if—“ draco tried to say, but was quickly interrupted by mattheo, who leaned over the table as if he had interesting information for you.

“he’s been rejected by tara gallagher”

“oh” you muttered, unsure what to respond.

“seems like someone doesn’t have what it takes to charm a hufflepuff” theo muttered and you turned you head in his direction, surprised that he had even listened to the conversation, as he was busy, reading a book about defense against the dark arts.

“well, not everyone has the privilege to have malfoy as their last name” enzo shrugged, as he added the words laughing.

blaise rolled his eyes, but did not say anything. you looked back and forth between draco’s friends, unsure if the conversation was going in the right direction.

you hated when the topic would fall on draco’s and your relationship. the slytherins would often make jokes about your unlikely pairing, as if it wasn’t already hard enough for you to believe that someone like draco could really love someone like you.

“maybe draco could give you a few tips” enzo grinned and you bit down on your lip.

“yeah, or maybe tara gallagher is just too clever to believe everything i tell her” the words had left blaise’ mouth before he had really thought about the implication they would have about you and draco. just when you thought it was only you thinking in that direction, he quickly threw a hand over his mouth, spotting a regretful look.

“y/n” enzo muttered when he noticed your teary eyes.

draco’s smile died down as he turned his head and noticed the look on your face.

“sorry” you quickly apologized, as you swung your legs over the bench.

“i’m sorry” blaise quickly tried to interfere, but you were already hurrying down the row to the door of the great hall.

“you’re really amazing at talking to girls” theo stated sarcastically “when you don’t make them cuss you out, you make them cry”

“i’m sorry—“

“—you better be” draco interrupted blaise.

“—but she’s just so sensitive. i mean i wasn’t even speaking about her”

“well, the implication was right there” enzo shrugged “you could’ve been a bit more considerate"

"i'm going to search for my girlfriend before you have time to insult her some more"

"i told you i was sorry"

"safe it" draco shook his head, standing up.

"tell y/n we're sorry about blaise" theo said sympathetically.

draco nodded, before he stormed out of the hall, trying to make you out. you were hiding in a dark corner, face in your hands when he found you.

"hey" draco cooed, taking your hands in his and lifting them from your face. "don't cry, love"

"i'm sorry" you sobbed and draco's face softened. he took you into his arms, trying to calm you down. you stopped crying eventually, while he was rubbing circles on your back.

"i'm sorry about what blaise said" draco apologized when you were calm enough to listen to him. "i don't think he meant it like that, you know?"

"it's not blaise" you said honestly, shaking your head.

"oh" draco said surprised, furrowing his brows. "then what is it? there has to be a reason for you to be upset"

"that's just the problem, draco" you said softly "i don't think i have a good reason, i never do"

"what are you talking about, love?"

"i hate that i am like this" you admitted, trying to escape his eyes.

"like what?" draco wondered, worry evident on his face "there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly normal"

"but, i'm not" you argued "i hate they way i always start crying and am upset at nothing, it's exhausting and must be much more for you"

"oh, love"

"and i get that might be the reason that your friends don't like me" you bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying yet again "they must think i'm acting like a baby"

"but they do like you"

"they're always quiet when i'm around"

draco looked away quickly before his eyes were back on you a second later "that might be my fault" he admitted "when we started dating i told them to behave when you would be there, i didn't want you to be uncomfortable at the way they normally are"

"oh, so you even had to tell them to tone it down, because i would be too sensible?" you whispered softly, the tears threatening to spill yet again.

"no, love" draco shook his head, touching your shoulders as you looked up at him with big eyes. "i thought they would ruin my chances with you. not because you are too sensible, just because they can be real idiots and would probably scare any girl away"

"except for pansy" you shrugged, a smile playing on your lips.

"yeah" draco laughed, happy that you weren't as sad anymore "she would probably scare them away first anyway"

you giggled at his words. he touched your face, rubbing your tears away softly. "don't cry anymore, yeah?" he asked "you're perfect the way you are. actually i fell in love with you because you're so sensible, while i wouldn't directly call the way you are sensible"

you smiled up at him with hope at your eyes. "what would you call it?"

"empathetic" draco smiled "i have never seen someone being so concerned about the well-being of bugs"

"i pray nobody kills me for the crime of being small" you recited.

"exactly" draco nodded, kissing your forehead "you're the most caring person i know and i don't think having strong emotions is wrong in any way"

"you really fell in love with me because of it?" you asked "i always thought it was something you were able to ignore or tolerate, not something you liked"

"how could i not? i was a goner after i saw you build a bed for the bug" he laughed "i should've told you, but i assumed you knew, forgive me, love"

"don't be sorry" you kissed his cheeks "i hated myself for it for the longest time, but knowing that you actually like it changes everything"

"i don't just like it, i love you for it"

"i love you too" you smiled.

"and i do think the guys like you" draco nudged your elbow "you should've seen the way theo and enzo chewed out blaise and how sorry the poor fella was. they even told me to tell your they were sorry on his behalf and blaise was apologetic too"

"he didn't do anything wrong"

"he could've been more considerate" draco shrugged "should we go back? we don‘t have to, if you're not comfortable"

"i'd like to finish my breakfast"

"good" draco nodded, taking your hand and leading you back to the table.

blaise immediately apologized several times when he noticed you, even after you had told him it was fine. the rest of breakfast was much more enjoyable with the guys feeling more comfortable now that they knew you were alright.

you were glad to have such a loving boyfriend and draco was glad that you were alright.

you cried a lot less during the weeks to follow, a result of you growing more comfortable around draco's friends and also becoming friends with them too.

after draco had told them they didn't have to behave differently when you were around the ice got broken and they weren't as reserved anymore.

theo and you would often study together. he was good in potions and you were good in astronomy so you would constantly help each other.

it turned out that both blaise and you were giant quidditch fans and were actually fans of the same team. you often spent time talking about past games or different players you liked. he even gifted you a scarf in your team's color for your birthday.

pansy, mattheo and you would occasionally visit hogsmeade together, spending the whole day in honey-dukes, testing the newest snacks and sweets and deciding on your favorite sorts or flavours.

you learned that enzo was obsessed with plants and flowers so you often got him seeds to plant and helped him in the garden.

draco was glad that you had finally settled into the group and that you weren't so afraid of your feelings anymore that you actually had the time to notice that they all found you lovely, even if they would occasionally joke about your ability to start crying so easily, especially during a sad movie.

blaise never made an annoyed remark about your emotional side again and you were happy to finally feel better about yourself and the way that you were.

—

@mqstermindswift