Aaron Hotch Fluff - Tumblr Posts
Aaron Hotchner: First and Last Phone Call
Imagine being followed, so you call your brother (Aaron Hotchner), hoping he might save you:
Y/N's POV:
The walk to my dorm was taking me longer than usual, the recent injury to my leg was definitely not helping me.
The sun had long since set, and the darkness of the night had fully set in, my only light sources being the sparse lamp posts dotting along the sidewalk. The dark has always been a fear of mine, but my fear is reaching a whole new level right now. I'm injured, alone, and in a new environment; anything could happen to me. I keep my head up and on a swivel, turning at anything and everything.
I eventually calm down after a few minutes of excessive paranoia, instead finding comfort in the soft breeze, the leaves russling under the trees, and gazing at the orange glow of the lamps against the dark blue sky, it's actually quite calming.
Rain lightly begins to sprinkle from above, something that I embrace as I love rainy weather. Of course my clothes and bag are getting wet, but I don't care.
I almost miss the quiet scuffle behind me, the sound of light footsteps against the wet sidewalk. I turn around quickly, but I see nothing. Turning back around, I shake my head, thinking I'm being paranoid again. I continue my slow walk, my dorm is still several minutes away.
After another few moments of walking, the light scuffle is heard again, this time I immediately turn around, once again seeing nothing behind me. I glare at my surroundings harshly, I'm about to continue my trek when something catches my attention.
Along the sidewalk is a dirt area with bushes and trees, large oaks that are spread every 7 feet along the sidewalk. Nothing about that is odd, but carefully surveying the tree, I noticed the rubber toe of a shoe, it reminds me of the thick rubber sole of Vans.
My breathing feels harder, an eerie sense of understanding floods through my body. I don't have my pepper spray or any of my knives on me, I made the stupid decision that a philosophy textbooks was more important. I'm wearing my Ariat leather books, good for walking and work, but not so amazing when it comes to having to outrun somebody.
My brain is turning with thoughts of what to do, but the first thing I know I must do is turn back around and start walking as if nothing is wrong; this may seem stupid, but I can't let this person know that I've spotted them. I force my breaths to be even, and I grasp my bag loosely to my side.
Continuing to walk was very hard, especially when you know somebody is following you, and you have no idea what their intentions are.
Grasping my bag, I swiftly undo its buckles, taking care not to look like I'm rushing. Rain drips down my skin as I pull my phone out of my bag, looking closely, I notice the slight tremble in my hands and the burning of my eyes. Clicking on the only contact I can think of, I hold the phone tightly to my ear.
———————
Aaron Hotchner's POV:
I hear my phone ringing, it causes the conference room to fall silent, all eyes going to me. Sheepishly reaching into my coat pocket, I glance at the name and know it must be important.
"What is it Aaron?" Rossi questions, clearly seeing the confusion in my eyes.
"It's my sister?" My voice is deep and raspy, I haven't spoken to her since I left home, and she has never reached out to me. I don't know why she's calling, but I know I need to answer it.
"Continue without me, give me the summary on the jet." Is all I say before pushing out of my chair and exiting the room, leaving it full of confused and concerned profilers.
———
"....Y/N?" I listen closely, hearing the slight pattering of rain through the line.
"...Hey Aaron." Her voice is tight, it only increases my concern.
"Why are you calling?" My question can't help but be asked, my personality doesn't allow for the polite bullshitting, instead wanting to get straight to the point.
"I'm doing great, heading to my dorm right now actually, I know you're waiting for me." Her response is confusing, we haven't kept in contact at all, and I didn't even know she was in university. Something starts to scratch in the back of my mind, this conversation feels off.
"What are you talking about? Why did you call me?" My question is overflowing with the need for an answer, my voice lowering so that prying ears can't hear.
"Yah, I did go down to California for spring break. The horse races were crazy!" With this sentence my thoughts still. When Y/N was just a little girl, I taught her certain phrases to say when something is happening to her; and this was one of the scariest scenarios:
She was being actively followed.
My breathing gets heavier, and my heart feels like it's ramming against my rib cage. I grip my phone so tight it feels like I might crush it. Thinking quickly, I stride out of my office and back into the conference room, JJ falls silent as they all look at me.
Motioning for everyone to stay quiet, I pull the phone away from my ear and put it on silent.
"I'm with my team Y/N, tell me where you are."
"...I'm walking to (university name), I was just in town, but I'm currently passing some gas station. I should only be about 10 minutes away, so I'll meet you there." I can hear her straining to keep a normal pitch and her breaths becoming faster, alerting me that she is worried. I point at Garcia, her eyes lighting up with understanding as she begins typing away on her computer.
By now, everyone looks confused and worried, but all are in work mode.
"Y/N, you need to get into a building, I don't care which one, you just need to find other people. NOW." My voice is harsh, and I know it's not helping the situation, but I need her to be safe.
———————
Y/N's POV:
He's almost shouting at me, but I know he's just worried, I can hear the almost inaudible waver in his voice. The tears are freely falling now, I've already passed the last building between town and my university.
The footsteps behind me speed up, it seems they noticed my predicament as well, they are going to do something to me, and there is nothing I can do. I speed up as well, wanting to be able to explain everything to Aaron.
"Aar.. A-Aaron...I-I'm sorry." I can't stop my voice from stuttering, sobs now mixing with my talking.
"I'm sorry I said I hated you. I was angry at myself, not you" My words drip with emotion, the guilt that flows through me is almost as painful as knowing I'm about to die.
"Y/N-" He tries to speak, but I interrupt him as I know I have little time.
"I'm sorry that your last memory of me will be over the phone, please forgive m-" My apologies are cut short, my phone being smacked to the ground. I try to face my attacker, but a punch to the face causes me to take a detour to the floor.
The rough asphalt rips into the flesh of my hands, it burns, but not as much as the kick I receive to the gut. I scream in pain, hoping someone will hear, but knowing deep down that no one will.
The person jumps on top of me, their weight forcing my already empty lungs to collapse even further, I feel like I'm gasping, but no air enters. Everything is blurry, and wet, it's all so disorienting.
Two large hands wrap around my throat, the pressure quickly increasing; I try to fight, feebly punching him with my weakening limbs.
I feel heavy, my head foggy, I kind of just want to close my eyes and sleep. As my eyelids droop closed, the last memory I have is of a blurry warm light from a lamp post a little ways away.
———————
Aaron Hotchner's POV:
After the screams and scuffle end, all we hear through the phone is silence, someone(I assume the attacker) picks up the phone, and ends the call after another few seconds. Sadness is surging through my body, I already know tears are dripping down my cheeks, but even through all my sorrow, I remain silent.
Everyone looks uncomfortable, looks of fear, anger, shock, and concern mingling in all of their expressions. JJ is about to say something when Garcia comes bustling through the door, she looks just as depressed as I feel.
"Sir, I know where she is."
all i could think about while reading this was: "i take my whiskey neat, my coffee black in my bed at 3. you're too sweet for me...". aaron is so hozier coded it hurts
aaron hotchner struggles accepting the love he deserves.
that’s why he shuts down when you move in next door. you, with your flowy dresses and baked goods and shiny lips. he doesn’t dare go near you. how could he, when he has the exact opposite of a midas touch? he wouldn’t even dare to think of putting you in harm’s way, which is why he rejects the brownies you offer him the day after your move in. his heart cracks at the way your face falls, but his legendary poker face has gotten him this far, and it’ll get him out of this, too. or so he thinks.
you show up the next day, and the day after that. soon, his kitchen counter is laden with cookies, cakes, and pies. jack is in heaven, and hotch himself can’t help but indulge. as his teeth sink into the chewy goodness of a chocolate chip cookie, he chastises himself for wondering if your lips taste just as sweet. he imagines kissing you after you taste test one of your treats, maybe licking some frosting off your top lip.
guilt and shame creep up his spine, slithering around his body until his heart is constricted with it. he can’t think like this. not with you. not when you’re so good. you’re so good, and he’s been through so much bad, what if that’s all he is now? why on earth would someone so sweet and beautiful want a divorced widower with a child? it makes no sense to him, so he shakes off any possibility of it even happening. even if the looks you give him from your garden tell him otherwise.
he recalls the times this week he’s seen you out while he’s arriving home from work. the way your eyes would follow up and down his body, how you’d bite your lip as you said hello. the way your gaze lingered on his biceps that were stuffed into his button up is seared into his memory. he normally saves these memories for bed time, or during a cold shower, but you’re taking up his brain capacity at a rapid pace. he’s afraid there’s no pumping the brakes.
one day, after two weeks of you bringing him baked goods and eye fucking him from your yard, you appear on his front doorstep. only this time, there’s not a treat in your hand, but an entire picnic basket.
“hi!” you chirp, your beautiful smile etched onto your face, “sorry to bug, i hope you’re not busy! it’s such a beautiful day outside, i thought it’d be perfect for a picnic, and i’d love some company! maybe we could get to know each other some more!”
his heart completely stops. he’s surprised he doesn’t go comatose in that very moment.
“w-wow!” he stutters, clearing his throat. smooth, aaron, “that sounds great, but i don’t have a sitter for jack…” he hates to decline, but his son has always come first. any woman entering his life needs to know that. not that you’re entering his life, right?
“oh! that’s not a problem! he’s invited too, i packed a peanut butter and jelly, but then i thought he could be allergic to peanut butter, so there’s a ham and cheese one in there for him too!” he sees you grow bashful at your rambling, your cheeks heating even more under the warm july sun. he has to fight the urge to kiss that pretty face, one on each cheek.
“that sounds wonderful,” he says gently, a smile in kind forming on his face, “let me go grab him.”
jack is elated to spend the day in the park with the new nice neighbor, and aaron’s heart swells at how much his son already loves you. his heart nearly bursts in his chest, though, when you loop your arm through his and lean up to whisper in his ear, “maybe later, when you can get a sitter, we can do this again, just you and me,” your siren eyes rendering him nearly comatose, once again.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
So this is almost completely inspired by the lovely @haley-h0tchner . I decided to write my rendition of the twelve days leading to Christmas Day With our beloved Aaron Hotchner! Starting on the 13th, it will run to Christmas Day, the 25th ofc! This list will be updated every day! So don’t forget to check in!☺️💚
🎄Blurbs/Shorts
1. Early Bird
2. Winter Wonder
3. Glistening Lights
4. Halo
5. Yule Logs
6. Sweater Season
7. Moon Gazing
8. Rosemary & Sage
9. Snowy Treats
10. Team Tidings
11. Cookies for Santa
12. Presents
Early Birds | Day 1 | A.H.
Summary: It’s your third Christmas with your boys. You hadn’t realised that the two didn’t go all out for Christmas like yourself before moving in but now they finally embrace it. Aaron comes back late that night after a case. He normally is an early riser but he was still fast asleep. Fortunately, you and jack had a surprise for him.
Warnings: Food/Baking Cookies
Word Count: 858
Christmas was a serious holiday in the Hotchner home. All outdoor Christmas decorations were put up at the beginning of December. Christmas music and Caroling were a tradition ever since you had moved in with them. Today was going to be a movie day.
Aaron was still sound asleep after coming home around three am the previous night. So you kissed him on the forehead and tip toed over to the closet to grab one of his sweaters and slipping it over your head. You scooted out into the hallway, heading to Jacks room. Knocking gently, you opened the door to find it empty. Furrowing your brow, you began searching around before hearing the clatter of one of the metal bowls hitting the kitchen counter. Walking out of the room, you padded into the kitchen, noticing right away all the ingredients were laid out. The mixer was sitting on the counter too and the metal bowl he had set there was leaning on the edge.
“Good morning. What are you making?” Chuckling as you walked closer. He looked up with wide eyes, the flash of fright disappearing when he saw your face. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked into your eyes as he spoke.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you both up. I-I just thought cookies would a nice thing to make..ya know?.” He smiled before looking around on the counter. He opened the kitchen pantry and got out the baking aprons.
“That does sound nice, can I help?” You asked, wanting to bake some cookies with him. He turned around and handed you the apron that she had brought to their home, his in hand. Smiling up at you, he replies happily. “Yes! They can be a surprise for dad! Since he’s not up yet!”
Smiling, you put your apron on. Fastening it, you looked at the ingredients. You thought to yourself how proud you were. He even remembered what ingredients to pull out. Making Linzer cookies were always a delight and Jack had really taken to them. He hadn’t liked them without something to drink so you had made he fell in love with them. You only made them the first months of the year, this day marking the start.
“Sounds good, let’s get started!” With that, the two of you got to it. You ended up turning on a quiet playlist of carols somewhere while waiting for the cookies to bake. You had got out the jam and had already dusted the powdered sugar onto the plate. As soon as the cookies were done, you pulled them out and gave Jack the tops to powder and put the jam on the bottoms. Putting them together seemed to be his favourite thing. Once they were done, you plated them. Putting coffee on for Aaron, you cleaned up.
“Are we making hot chocolate too?” Jack asked, his eyes wobbling as he hoped you’d say yes. Smiling, you nodded. Turning to the cup cupboard, you slowly pulled out a mug for you and Jacks mug. Setting them down on the counter, you pulled out milk, chocolate powder and sugar. Pouring out the milk into a small saucepan, you ushered him over. Jack quickly took over with his cup as the two of you added your particular ratio of sugar to chocolate powder. When the milk was hot enough, you turned off the stove and poured equal amounts into both cups. Jack immediately began to stir his as you got out the mini marshmallows. Handing the bag to Jack, you watched him grab a mighty handful. Sprinkling a good chunk of them into the cup, eating the rest. You mixed yours, putting a few mallows into your mug.
As the two of you stood and chatted with each other quietly, Aaron shuffled into the kitchen. The two of you smiled at him, Jack going over and hugged him gently before coming over to the plate of cookies.
“Guess what dad? We made cookies! The sweet ones with fruit jam on the inside!” Aaron smiled as his son wiggled with excitement. Coming over to the counter, he looked into your eyes before eyeing the mugs.
“That’s awesome bud, they look amazing. Did you make hot chocolate as well?” Jack nodded, holding out his mug to show Aaron, smiling widely. Aaron chuckled at the heavy amount of marshmallows there were in his mug compared to yours.
Aaron walked over to the cupboard and grabbed his favourite mug and poured himself some coffee and then stood next to you. Putting his arm around your waist, he kissed your cheek. Smiling up at him, you leaned your head against his shoulder.
“Well, let’s have some cookies shall we?” You asked, they both smiled and grabbed a cookie from the plate. Biting into them, they both groaned at how good they tasted. Shaking your head a little bit, you smiled and grabbed one as well.
“This is really good, thank you Angel.” Aaron spoke, squeezing you closer. He wasn’t expecting to have cookies that morning but it definitely was a wonderful way to wake up, with his little family.
Taglist: @haley-h0tchner
Winter Wonder | Day 2 | A.H.
Summary: You and Aaron go out on a Christmas date. It wasn’t often Aaron is home around the holidays but this year was something special.
Warnings: Pre-Established Relationship, Hotch is Soft.
Word Count: 593
Come on Angel, we have to go so we can get good parking.” Aaron hollered down the hallway. Tonight was date night but with a holiday twist. The two of you were going to the Multi-Cultural Christmas market downtown. They had an abundance of foods, drinks and entertainment. Aaron was very excited to go with you. Not to mention, this year was the first year after finding out your families heritage.
“Ok! I’m almost done!” You yelled back. Making sure your hair and clothes looked and felt fine before leaving the bathroom. Walking out into the hallway, you made sure that all the lights were off and doors were locked. Walking quickly into the front living room, you stopped in front of Aaron. He was leaning on the couch, adjusting his shirt buttons. You stood there a bit simply just staring. Aaron finally looked up, smiling as he eyed your outfit.
“Well well well. Hello there.” Aaron put his large hands on your waist, pulling you close. Standing up, he leaned down to kiss your lips. Your hands reaching up onto the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss was short and sweet. You pulled apart, smiling up him. He grabbed the keys and you were off.
The drive was very short, but finding a parking spot from the little venue took a bit of time. Aaron had planned on getting your favorite parking space but someone had already got it. So he settled for the one beside it. Once in park, Aaron got out and went over to your door, opening it for you. Once you got your things together, the two of you were off.
There was so much to see, all the stalls had beautiful artwork on their signs. A menu of the things they sold was right beside it, adorned with small little LED lights. You didn’t know where to start but settled on the German sweets. They were very flavourful and it wasn’t expected but you were so glad you had them. Aaron steered you towards the little booths with trinkets. You decided on getting a few things for Jack, a small little yarn toy and a charcoal grey cup cozy that pairs well with his Star Wars cup.
“Did you see this love, This is a good present for Jack!” Aaron says, wrapping his hands around your waist.
“Yes, I did. I am thinking of getting one of these painting as well.” You smiled and picked up the beautiful The two of you continued along, hand in hand. You had picked up a soft winter blanket. It was beautiful, robin egg blue with little snowflakes on them. “This is absolutely beautiful. This will go really bed with our bed spread.” You say softly, walking beside him.
The rest of your date consisted of Aaron showing you foods to try and you giving him a history lesson about them. It didn’t stop him from giving you small kisses on the cheek every so often. As you both walked back to the car, hands intertwined, you leaned against his arm. “I had a great time tonight, love.” You spoke, your voice wavering as the cool air caused a shiver.
“I had a good time too Angel. I’m glad we decided to go here. We should make it a tradition.” Aaron said, opening the car door for you. Walking around the car to his door, he smiled. A new tradition in the Hotchner home? Filled with endless possibilities, he couldn’t wait until next year.
Taglist: @haley-h0tchner
Glistening Lights | Day 3 | A.H
Summary: Light Festivals were a major tradition in your family. It was one of the staples of the Christmas season, especially when you were little. It was one of things you couldn’t miss, not for anything. Jack hadn’t gone to your childhood light festival so you suggested they all go to the place where you wanted to bring your little family.
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 674
As the evening sun began to set, Aaron stepped through the door of your home. Setting his bag down, he hummed a traditional carol. Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed a cup and filled it with the cider you had made a day or so before. Standing in front of the kitchen island, Aaron took small sips. Even though it was chilled, it felt warm in his chest as it went down. He smiled to himself as he remembered the day you made it. Swaying in the kitchen, your headphones in your ears. Mouthing the words as you set all the ingredients in the big pot, stopping some moments to savour the melodies and harmonies. The frisson very hard to miss as your arm hairs rose. Lost in your own world that Aaron couldn’t even imagine where. He set his mug in the sink, his mind filled with thoughts of you.
“Hello love, welcome home.” You spoke through your shared bedroom doorway. You had heard him come home but then heard him in the kitchen. You were going to get up to give him a hug but the blankets on your bed were so warm. You were in the middle of a chapter in your favorite book after all. Aaron came into the room shortly after, smiling at you.
“Thank you Angel, it’s good to be home.” He spoke softly as he came over to the bed. Sitting down in the space you left laying on your side, he leaned over and kissed your forehead. You sat up slowly, wrapping your hand around his neck, pulling him in gently for a kiss.
“I missed you, how was your day?” You asked after pulling away.
“I missed you too, it was tiring but I remember I have such a wonderful home to come to when I leave.” He murmured into your skin softly as he kissed your neck lightly.
The two of you sit for a moment, him holding you close and you basking in the warmth of your love. After a few moments of silence, you finally spoke. “I was thinking of going to the light festival again this year. We can take Jack this time since he’s around tonight.” Aaron smiled and kissed your forehead before sitting up straight to get up.
“I think that’s a great idea, dove. Let’s get up and ready then, I’ll tell Jack to get ready.” He stood and walked down the hall to tell him to get up out of bed and get ready.
The three of you got dressed and ready, grabbing bags and snacks before heading to the small walk-in light festival. It was in the center of town, all the streets and blocked so people can enter the area and make it easier for people to walk up to the light display. Icicle, multi-colored and warm cream lights hung from everywhere. All over the tiny buildings surrounding the festival, peoples porches and front lawns were adorned with lights. Jack couldn't believe just how many lights there were. Aaron was sucked into the view of the lights overhead the streets. But nothing could have compared to the look on your face as the happiness washed over your face as the twinkling lights got brighter. He didn't want to look away from you and the way the light hit your eyes. "This was my favourite festival. It was always so nice and comforting. With my mother and father, it was wonderful. We went every year until I moved out and the years gained on us. Now we just have family dinner." Your eyes grew sad, thinking of all the things you used to do with them. Aaron frowned a bit as he saw just how much it meant to you. "Why don't we make this our family tradition? Me, You and Jack." Aaron says gently in your ear, holding you close by the waist. Looking up at him, you nod quickly. "I would love that. I love you Aaron." "I love you too, dove.”
Taglist: @haley-h0tchner
Keep Me Warm
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Gender-Neutral!Reader
Warning: smut, very light dom hotch
Rating: 18+, pre-established relationship
Word count: 924
NSFW BELOW THE CUT
You were very fortunate to be home during the autumn with Aaron and Jack. Most of your cases seemed to wane at the end of the summer season so you were lucky to have this time. Jess had come to pick up Jack to look after him for the weekend so it was just you and Aaron.
“I want to check something, just real quick and then we can spend the rest of the day on the couch.”
Setting your hands on his shoulders, you stood behind him simply looking over his shoulder. Not to read but to be closer to him. Soon however, your hands moved from his shoulders down to his biceps. Your face nestled in close to his ear as you debated pulling up a chair. Unable to resist, you moved your lips up to his ear and nipped at it gently, receiving a soft groan from the dark haired man.
“Honey…” His warm voice coming out as a warning as you continued moving your hands down his body. His broad shoulders were making it impossible to pull away. You knew he need to finish some paperwork but you needed him so badly. Moving around the chair very slowly, you climbed into his chair, sitting carefully in his lap.
“I-I just wanna sit with you. Is that ok?” You asked, your lips pressed up against his cheek. He turned his head to look at you, his gaze dropping to your lips as he nodded and returned to his work. Smiling, you rested your head on his shoulder, his warmth making your need for him so much stronger as the time went by.
You couldn’t remember when you started to gently grind up against him, but you couldn’t help it. He had placed his warm hand on the small of your back and encouraged the push and pull of your hips. Chest to chest, your lips left soft kisses under his ear as you fought to sink onto the man right then and there. After all, he said he was going to be quick. So you assumed that he wouldn’t mind if you started the festivities early. Slowly, you leaned back to move your hands down his clothed chest to his belt buckle. Trying not to move too much, you reached your hand into his pants to touch his cock which you were surprised to find almost completely hard. Looking to Aaron, you caught his eye as he watched you pull him out. His cock was warm in your hands as your grip tightened and you shifted a bit, your arousal not unknown to the other. You didn’t realise you were whimpering for him until his hand slipped under your chin. “You can warm me. But you can’t wiggle. Ok?”
You couldn’t have moved quicker, slipping off your underwear and getting yourself ready faster. His eyes roamed your body before you began to seat him inside your warm hole. Gripping his broad shoulders, you couldn’t help but whine as you bottomed out. He never dissatisfied when it came to filling you this way. He was perfect in every way that counted, you could have cried at the relief you felt. Putting your hand through his dark hairs, you smiled to your partner. He was so handsome, his eyes were so beautiful and he knew what you needed and wanted. Aaron smiled to you, admiring you as though you were a piece of modern art. Being so full was starting to take its toll as your eyes couldn’t look away from his face, wanting nothing more than to have his face in between your legs. His stubble rubbing against your inner thighs, his lips kissing the skin as he neared your center. Your hands roamed his shoulders and neck as you continued to stare.
Panting, your eyes snapped open as your hips mindlessly rocked. Aaron hadn’t fully abandoned his work but his hand was violently gripping the pen as your body took what it needed. The faint feeling of his tongue dragging up on your skin and his groans and partial moans were fuelling your desire. His cock throbbing deep inside your needy hole was what finally caused the tension to release. Your lips parted as you clenched around Aaron, riding the wave of your climax.
“I said no wiggling honey, I’ll let that one slide just because you looked so delicious coming all over my cock.”
Where have I seen this?
Ah yes! His twin
a b o u t y o u
Includes : Aaron Hotchner
Genre : Fluff
Warnings : Slight age gap, mentions of drinking, slight mentions of injuries and hospitals
Based on : About you by The 1975
A/N : I got this idea from @hotchscvm all credits go to them, and before reading this one, go read theirs, it’s incredible!!
She’s not his girlfriend, but as soon as she was hired, he took her under his wing. He couldn’t explain it; there was something about her that made him feel like he owed her, like he wanted to care for her and make sure she knew the ropes before jumping into big cases.
She’s not his girlfriend, but she is the only one who can make Hotch smile. Although she denies any claim the team makes when teasing her about it, she constantly aims to pull a smile out of him, even in rough situations.
She’s not his girlfriend, but he constantly pairs her with him whenever working on cases. He chalks it up to wanting to keep an eye on her because she’s new to the BAU, but he knows in reality it’s because he wants to be close to her.
She’s not his girlfriend, but he pushes her behind him whenever they encounter a dangerous situation or unsub. He likes keeping her close to make sure she is safe, and while she constantly tells him not to worry, he does it anyway.
She’s not his girlfriend, but her designated seat in the jet is wherever he is. The team quickly figured this fact out after Morgan attempted to sit on the empty sit next to Hotch, and if looks could kill, he would be dead within the second.
She’s not his girlfriend, but she keeps him company when he works late. He will be filing out reports and she will sit on the couch in his office, reading. She refuses to go home and sleep, even if he threatens to fire her, because she knows that this is the only way he will take care of himself.
She’s not his girlfriend, but they go out to eat every week. They talk about anything and everything, and whilst the team insists that these so called “outings” are dates, they both deny the idea, thinking the other doesn’t see them that way.
She’s not his girlfriend, but after she gets hurt during a mission, he never leaves her side. Her sleeping form in the hospital bed prompts him to confess his feelings for her. Little does he know, she heard every word.
She’s not his girlfriend, but he introduces her to his son. Jack loves the girl, he constantly asks to see her. When he brings the little boy into the office, he runs onto her lap, and the agent’s heart skips a beat at the sight.
She’s not his girlfriend, but when she gets drunk during a party at Rossi’s, she attaches herself to his side. She does anything she can to have some sort of physical contact with him, whether it be holding his hand whilst dancing to Rossi’s music records, playing with his finger whilst listening to Spencer’s rant on biomedicine, or falling asleep on his shoulder.
She’s not his girlfriend, until she is.
c r i m i n a l m i n d s
key
❃ - fluff ❀ - angst ❁ - mature
Aaron Hotchner
about you ❃
so long, london ❃ ❀ ❁ 2 3
Spencer Reid
enchanted ❃
about you ❃
s o l o n g , l o n d o n
Includes : Aaron Hotchner
Genre : Angst
Warnings : Mentions of break downs, drinking, mentions of depression symptoms, not proof-read
Based On : So Long, London by Taylor Swift
Part two : All My Ghosts
You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
“Haley wants us to get back together.” Upon hearing those words, her heart dropped. She realized why Hotch asked her to come on this ‘date’. She thought he was finally going to ask her to make whatever they were official, but she now knew he just wanted to let her down easy.
“What?” She asked. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes, her view of Hotch blurry and distorted. Though she couldn’t see very well, she could see the pity and regret written on his face.
“She wants us to try to be a family again.” She took a second to process his words.
“And, what did you say?” She knew the answer, but she needed to hear it from him.
“I said yes.” He watched the tears fall from her eyes. “I had to, for Jack. For my family. We both knew this wasn’t a sure thing, Y/N. I’m your boss, and our jobs are dangerous enough, this wasn’t going to work.” He was right. Since she started at the BAU, she developed a crush on her slightly older, and incredibly intimidating boss. She would’ve never thought he felt the same towards her, and she was constantly teased by her fellow profilers about it, until he asked her out on the way home from a case. She was elated. They went on a couple dates, and she was sure they were going great. Until now.
“And Haley gave you the out. Instead of telling me, you led me on,” she choked on her sobs. She reached for her purse, preparing herself to leave Aaron Hotchner and her heart along with him. “Go back to your family, Hotch. And don’t worry, I’ll pretend like nothing ever happened.”
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place
The team was shocked and confused when Y/N took a two-week leave of absence. She left without telling anyone or saying where she was going, she didn’t even tell Hotch, going straight to Strauss and asking for her leave, using the ‘family emergency’ excuse. They were even more surprised when she returned, acting as if she hadn’t just left without a word.
She could feel their eyes on her the minute she entered the briefing room. She sat down, chin high, eyes forward, not daring to look any of them in the eye for fear they would see through her facade.
Hotch’s eyes burnt a whole in her head. They hadn’t talked, interacted even, since that night. And while she was going to be profesional, she didn’t want him thinking he broke her heart, even if he did.
“Y/N, good to see you back.” JJ was the first to address her, the first to break the silence. She gave JJ a smile, and turned to look at the file sitting in front of her, keeping to herself throughout the briefing.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The team had moved the briefing onto the jet, the case being of a serial killer who was quickly devolving. The profilers all noticed their fellow coworker and friend’s strange behavior, her demeanor entirely different to the one she wore before her leave. She wouldn’t indulge conversation with the others, always directing the topic onto the case. The agents had also picked up on Hotch’s behavior; how his eyes would linger on Y/N for a little too long, and how he avoided referencing the woman.
Emily was growing even more concerned for her friend as the minutes passed, and when she saw her heading to the front of the jet for coffee, she quickly followed. “Hey,” she alerted Y/N of her presence, turning and closing the curtains to give them some privacy.
“Hi,” she gave a tight-lipped smile, moving to go back to her seat before Prentiss grabbed her arm.
“What’s going on?” She saw her friend’s face harden, her eyes moving to her feet.
“Nothing,” she knew better than to try and pretend like nothing was wrong around a bunch of profilers, but she couldn’t admit to herself that hers and Hotch’s break up was taking a toll on her. She was skinnier and paler, and was clearly struggling with something. But she couldn’t even call whatever happened between them a break up; they were only going out for a month and they hadn’t even told the rest of the team. So, sticking to her word, she would continue to act as though nothing happened.
“Oh, come on, you know I don’t believe that.” Emily dropped her grip on the girl’s shoulder, moving to fiddle with the coffee cups on the table. “Something’s going on. We all see it. You don’t have to talk about it, but, I want you to know we’re all here for you.” She saw tears pooling in the younger girl’s eyes, and her concern grew and her heart broke and all she wanted was for her to be okay. “You can talk to us. You can talk to me, or JJ, or even Hotch.” At the mention of his name, she broke. Her tears ran down her face, and sobs racked her body.
Emily hurried to hug her friend, shocked at her sudden breakdown. She heard the curtain being pulled, and turned to the sight of the team’s concerned eyes on the pair. But, she made sure to watch Hotch, noticing his own eyes becoming glossy at the sight of the crying agent.
For so long, London
Had a good run
A moment of warm sun
But I'm not the one
She sat on her couch, drowning her sorrows with a bottle of wine. Emily, JJ, and Penelope had just left her apartment after a night spent of crying and laughing, the women comforting her after she had confided in them about all that happened with Hotch.
She felt better, but not great. Her heart still hurt every time Haley and Jack came to visit Hotch during his lunch break, and she kept having to excuse herself to the bathroom whenever she was around him for too long. The team pretended not to notice the tension between her and Hotch, and they both refused to acknowledge each other unless it referenced their work or a case they worked.
Everyone knew something happened between them, and they knew their friend was not okay, so they pushed past it in hopes of nursing their friend back to happiness. She was incredibly grateful for all their friends were doing for her, but it wasn’t enough.
Nobody knew that she had just given Strauss a request for a transfer from the Bureau; none of the others knew, all but one person. The same person who’s name lit up on her phone, his calls going unanswered as she sipped on her glass of wine.
a l l m y g h o s t s
Includes : Aaron Hotchner
Genre : Angst
Warnings : Crying, sadness, mentions of bombs and terrorists, typical Criminal Minds topics, Morgan’s kind of a dick, curse words
Based on : All My Ghosts by Lizzy McAlpine
Part one Part three
A/N : This is a part two to So Long, London. I’m trying something different with my writing style, and I don’t really know how I feel about this fic overall, so, let me know your thoughts. And, yes, there will be a part three.
The headquarters of the International Operation Division of the FBI was alive with the chatter of agents and the ringing of phones. The IOD had been investigating a major threat against the United States from a major terrorist group in Iraq. There had been two bombings connected to this group, and there were more to be expected. The case is so dire, the IOD decided to call in the Behavioral Analysis Unit to aid in catching the attackers, a fact Y/N wasn’t thrilled about.
It had been two years since Y/N had left the BAU. She hadn’t told anyone of her transfer, leaving without saying a word to the team. She had gone as far as ignoring their calls and texts, and, as time passed, she eventually stopped receiving them. It had pained her to leave her friends, no, her family in that way, but she couldn’t stand having to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. She couldn’t be around the source of her heartbreak any longer, or she would explode. So, she took matters into her own hands.
Y/N knew her and the BAU’s paths would eventually cross again, she just hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon.
As she walked through the bullpen, she felt her heart racing. She wasn’t nervous about seeing Hotch, well, she was, but, she was more nervous about seeing her old friends. She knew they would be angry at her for the way she up and left. She would’ve been too if it was someone else on the team who did what she had.
She finally reached the doors that would lead her to the moment she most dreaded; the Behavior Analysis team would be sitting there, going over details of their profile. And, since she used to be a part of said team, her boss thought it best for her to be the one assisting them.
As she walked through the doors into the room the team had set up, she heard them grow quiet. They stared at her in disbelief, each one of them, and she couldn’t help but take each one in. Morgan looked stronger than when she had last seen him, Emily looked even more beautiful, JJ had grown her hair out, Penelope had dyed her hair cherry red, Rossi had more gray hairs than before, Spencer got rid of his glasses, and Hotch, well, Hotch looked exactly as she remembered him. Tall, handsome, and utterly exhausted. She didn’t fail to notice the missing ring on his left hand.
“Hi,” she spoke after minutes of silence. When she received no answer, she continued, “I was sent by my boss to assist you with building the profile on these terrorists.” She could feel her heart racing as the minutes wore on, and the disbelief in their eyes turned into confusion and anger. “I know we haven’t spoke in a while, but-”
Morgan was quick with his anger in cutting her off, “and who’s fault is that?”
Taking a deep breath, she continued, “Please, Morgan. I hate how I left things with you guys, but, right now, my priority is this case. So, if you could all put your feelings about me aside for the sake of our jobs, that would be great.” Morgan let out a scoff at her words, rolling his eyes and turning back to the whiteboard at the end of the room.
She made eye contact with Hotch, her eyes becoming watery at Morgan’s reaction to her presence. He didn’t seem all too different in his sentiment towards her, making her feel even worse.
“Alright, here’s what we have so far,” Hotch said. It was going to be a long night.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
As the days wore on, the tension between her and the rest of the team grew. They kept things professional, and Penelope and Emily were nicer than the rest in accepting her back, but it was still a challenge. She understood why they felt how they felt, but, still, it broke her heart. Even worse, she tried being friendly with Hotch but he wouldn’t even acknowledge her outside of discussing the profile.
It was late at night, most of the team had gone back to their hotels, leaving Hotch and Y/N working by themselves. Her eyes kept wandering to him, her thoughts consumed by having him so close to her again. Yet, he continued to ignore her.
“How’s Jack?” She asked, attempting to make conversation whilst they went over old case files.
“He’s fine.”
“How’s the rest of the team? I’ve missed them a lot. And you, of course. But-”
“They’re doing alright.” The finality in his tone was making her hopes fall like the petals of a rose fall over time.
“That’s good. What about Haley? How’s she doing?”
“Haley’s dead. She was killed by an unsub.” At that, her head snapped up.
“Oh my God, Hotch, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
He still didn’t look up at her from the papers scattered on the table. “How could you have? You left.”
His words cut deep. Her eyes grew teary for what felt like the fifth time that day. “Hotch, I had to.”
At that, he finally looked up at her. His eyes were hard as stone as he said, “no, you didn’t. And even if you felt that way, you could have told us. I had to explain to everyone else that you left and weren’t coming back, Y/N. You were a part of this family and wouldn’t even answer our texts and calls.” No, his words didn’t just cut deep, they burned. Upon seeing her tears fall, he seemingly decided that was a conversation not worth having. “Let’s just focus on the case.” But, like that night in the restaurant, she stood up and left him at the table.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The next day was no different. Spencer and Morgan refused to talk to her, Hotch was cold as ice when addressing her, JJ was hesitant anytime she had to speak with her, and Emily and Penelope were trying their best to dissipate some of the tension in the room.
It all seemed to boil over when she suggested that her and Morgan go over to the last bombing site and see what they could find.
“No,” he said.
The room was so quiet, you could hear a hairpin drop. “What?” she asked, mostly because she couldn’t believe that he shut her down like that.
“No,” he repeated. At that point, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“Alright, Morgan, I get you’re upset with me. But we’re here to do our jobs. And, you have zero right to treat me like I don’t matter just because you’re upset.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/N. You left us! You were a crucial part of this team and you left us. Without even an explanation. Nothing! So, don’t come in here expecting everything to be the same as it was because it’s not.”
“I had to leave!” She exclaimed. “I couldn’t take being around you guys after everything that happened!” Tears were streaming down her face. Her throat burned from the lump in it. Her heart sank with the weight of Morgan’s hatred for her.
“Nothing happened, Y/N!” He yelled as he stepped closer to her. “You just up and left!”
“Damn it, Morgan, I was in love! What was I supposed to do?” That grabbed the attention of the others. “You might not have known it, but… but, me and Hotch had just broken up, and I couldn’t be around him anymore. I just couldn’t.” Her sobs racked her body as she finally admitted what she couldn’t those two years ago. Morgan seemed to finally understand. And Hotch? Hotch just stood there, staring at her with the usual expression which occupies his face.
She hated it. She hated the pitiful stares from the team. She hated the way she cracked under the pressure. She hated the way she cried in front of them. But, most of all, she hated how all those feelings she had buried deep down in a dungeon of sadness had broken out and swam up to the surface.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
After everything blew over, Y/N decided enough is enough. She was done trying to work with the BAU, so, she went to investigate some tips on her own.
Her interest was piqued at an anonymous tip that claimed that the terrorist group’s leader was living in a house a few blocks over. She knew she shouldn’t go over there alone, but she it wasn’t like she could ask the team to go with her, they practically hated her for everything that went down.
The house was dark when she arrived. She knocked on the front door multiple times, and, after no answer, she found it to be unlocked. Drawing her gun, she went in. It was clear. As she suspected, it was a dummy tip. She let out a frustrated sigh as she stepped out of the house. They were no closer to catching the bombers than they were when they started. Walking down the front porch steps, she heard a loud boom, and everything went black.
i m i s s y o u , i ’ m s o r r y
Includes : Aaron Hotchner
Genre : Angst?
Warnings : Mentions of hospitals, stitches, bombs, injuries, naked people, cursing, not proof read
Based on : I Miss You, I’m Sorry by Gracie Abrams
Part one Part two
Her head was pounding as though she had woken up with a nasty hangover -wait, no, that’s not it. Her head was pounding as if she was hit by a truck, curb stomped, and then beat repeatedly with a bat. Yes, that’s a better description.
Hushed voices come into focus. Her eyes are closed shut. Her throat is parched. Her body hurts all over. Why does her body hurt? Why can’t she remember anything that happened the day before?
She tries to remember. She remembers arguing with Spencer, no, Morgan. She argued with Morgan. She left. She got to the house, then… Nothing. Everything goes black after that.
Her ears try to make out what the voices are saying and who they belong to. Has she been kidnapped by one of the unsubs? No, that’s not possible. She attempts to ground herself. She’s on a bed, she hears beeping, and it is freezing cold. She must be in a hospital.
She pries her eyes open, her vision clearing after a few seconds. Sure enough, she’s in a hospital. She sees Hotch and Emily standing at the door of her bed, speaking in hushed tones with the doctor. She tried to make out the words coming out of Hotch’s mouth, “how… doctor… concussion… bomb…” Bomb.
Upon hearing that word, panic struck her. She began hyperventilating, rushing to pull the needles out of her hand, alerting the doctor and Hotch and Emily of her state of consciousness. They rushed to her, spoke to her, tried to calm her down, but she couldn’t hear them. All she could think of was the bomb she now remembered.
Suddenly, two hands grabbed her face, two brown eyes coming into view. His soft voice calmed her. His gentle touch soothed her shaking body. Her hearing came back, “it’s okay. You’re safe now.” He repeated those words over and over until her breathing regulated.
Exhaustion hit her like a ton of flying bricks, the doctor telling Hotch to give her some space so she could rest. Her eyes closed again.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The next time she awoke, nobody was in the room with her. It was dark out, and the lights were off, so, she assumed it was well past midnight. Her head hurt less than before, but her body was still sore. She took the time to examine the bruises and stitches and gashes that littered her body under her hospital gown. How she survived, she didn’t know.
A knock at the door startled her. Hotch stood leaning against the doorframe, coffee cup in hand. “Hi,” he gave her a smile. He sat on the chair next to her bed, facing her directly.
Her throat was dry and scratchy, and he seemingly knew this, offering her a glass of cold water. A few minutes went by before she spoke, “what happened?”
She watched as Hotch took a sharp breath. “We got a call that a federal agent had been injured in a bombing. When we got there, the house was practically gone, and you were lying a couple feet away from it. You’re lucky you left the house when you did, but, you still got pretty hurt. You have a concussion, one broken rib, and a bruised lung.” He examined her as she took in all this information.
“How long has it been?”
“What do you mean?”
“How long was I out for?”
“It’s been three days,” his words made the situation start to sink in. Tears sprung to her eyes as she thought about how she almost died. She should’ve been more careful. “God, Y/N, what were you thinking?” It was as if a switch was flipped in him, his usual calm demeanor being replaced by one of sadness and despair. “Why would you go over there by yourself? You should’ve told one of us, or one of your teammates.”
She became angry upon hearing him scold her. “I didn’t have much choice, Hotch. It’s not like I could’ve gone to any of you guys. You hate me, all of you hate me.” He shook his head.
“The team doesn’t hate you.”
“Really? Cause it sure feels like you do. I know I made some mistakes, damn it, but, I’ve tried to apologize, I’ve tried to fix it and you won’t let me!” Her head pounded as she yelled at Hotch, but the emotions took over her.
“They don’t hate you, they are just hurt because of you leaving. They all sat outside in that waiting room while you were in surgery begging God for you to be okay. Morgan and Spencer refused to leave until I ordered them to go get some rest. They have been beating themselves up for everything that’s happened. Morgan blames himself. That’s not hatred, that’s love. And yes, they were wrong for how they treated you, Y/N, but you left a whole in the team after you left that we haven’t been able to fill. They loved you, still love you.” She was speechless. For a while she didn’t know what to say, it was all too much for her.
“What about you?” She whispered, “do you hate me?”
His voice broke as he said, “no. I don’t hate you.”
They spent the rest of the night in silence.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
She was released from the hospital after a week. The team had come by to see her, apologies on hand and relationships mending. Hotch didn’t want her to be alone, insisting on taking her home and making sure she was alright.
So, now she is stuck in her apartment with Hotch. Not awkward at all.
“Alright, make yourself comfortable if you’d like. I’m going to go shower,” she began walking towards her bathroom, limping throughout most of it until Hotch’s words stopped her in her tracks.
“I’ll help you.”
She thought he must be joking. “What?”
“You can barely walk, I don’t see how you’d be able to get into the shower.” So, he’s serious. When they dated, they never got to the point of seeing each other naked, and the image of him helping her take her clothes off made her blush.
“Where are you going?” She asked as he shook off his suit jacket and walked towards her room.
“To draw you a bath.” He came back a few minutes later, and basically manhandled her, lifting her arm onto his shoulders and allowing her to use him as a crutch. They made it to her bathroom, where she was shocked to find the bath running, epsom salt in the water, and a lit candle. She knew he was drawing her a bath, she just didn’t know he would put in the extra effort to make it more comfortable for her.
He slowly turned her around, silently signaling for her to lift up her arms. At her hesitance, he assured her, “I’m not going to look. I just want to help you.” She silently lifted her arms as much as she could without pulling her stitches, and he made work of taking her shirt off. His touch was gentle as he took off her clothes, as though he was afraid of her breaking from the mere pressure of his fingers. He stuck to his promise, his eyes never drifting anywhere she didn’t want them drifting to. She had to admit, she felt something during that moment. She couldn’t put a name onto what she felt, but the concern in his eyes and the strain in his brow did something to her.
Once he was done, he helped her into the bath. She expected him to leave after that, but he leaned against the counter facing the door, letting her take her time.
After a while, she couldn’t help herself but ask, “why are you doing this, Aaron?” She never used his first name, however, it felt right at that moment.
He didn’t answer at first. In fact, she thought he was going to ignore her or pretend he didn’t know what she meant, but, she knows better than that; she knows Hotch better than that.
“I’m doing this because I care about you.” He finally met her eye. “And because I feel guilty.” This confused her.
“Why? Guilty about what?”
“About everything. About how I ended things with you, and how I was the one who drove you to leave the team.” She was about to speak, but he cut her off, “I don’t regret going back to Haley.” His statement made her break eye contact, the mention of how he left her for someone else bringing the hurt back up. “I don’t regret it because I was able to live with Jack, and see him often. I didn’t have to share him. But, I will admit, what me and Haley once had, died. Even when we got back together, it wasn’t the same. We loved each other, but we weren’t in love. She knew it, and she also knew I was in love with someone else.” Oh my God, she thought. She didn’t know what to say, what to feel, what to think, she didn’t know anything. Her heart was racing, her lungs constricting, her throat bobbing, her hands shaking, and it’s all too much, everything is too much, he is too much. “I was in love with you, Y/N. And I need you to know that.”
All her feelings came rushing back, all her emotions breaking out of their cage and rushing to take over. All she could say was, “You were in love with me?” Her eyes pleaded with him.
“I still am.” And it was as though a bomb went off all over again.