Gift For Rhapshie: Poor Idiot Yuuji, Falling For Someone So Constipated, He Cant Even Sort Out His F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S.

Gift for rhapshie: “Poor idiot Yuuji, falling for someone so constipated, he can’t even sort out his F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S. Oops, do you think he can spell?” (SukuIta, JJK)

F-E-E-L-I-N-Gs

Read on Ao3

tags: flower language, sukuna swears a lot, sukuna threatening the safety of poor florists, humor, nobamaki teases sukuna

note: this was written as part of a gotcha 4 gaza. if you like jjk, consider submitting a prompt here by the end of the month. you'd be helping out palestinians and getting some cool/cute fanart/fanfic for just a few bucks

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Sukuna wasn’t mad. No. That would imply that he cared and that was the last thing on his mind. No, he was getting revenge.

Nobara popped the sucker from her mouth and grinned, her single eye looking a little too gleefully in his direction, “Is that what you call it nowadays? Too scared to call it what it is?”

Maki swung an arm around her shoulder and joined in, “Be careful, if you say the F-word, he might run away screaming.”

“Poor idiot Yuuji, falling for someone so constipated, he can’t even sort out his F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S. Oops, do you think he can spell?”

Sukuna puts out the cigarette he’d been smoking and reminds himself that Yuuji wouldn’t like it if his friends up and disappeared one day. Not even if they were the ones provoking him, “Don't you two lesbians have anything better to do? Like go fuck in a car or blow shit up?”

Maki laughed, “Fucked already, currently blowing shit up, is it working? How close to exploding do you think you are on a scale of one shit to five shits?”

“Maybe we should show him the other pictures Yuuji sent us,” Nobara grinned, taking out her phone from her pocket. 

And hell no, Sukuna did not freeze and no, he also didn’t relax slightly when Megumi’s monotone voice announced, “There are no other pictures.”

Sukuna considers his options. At this time of night, he was blessed with no witnesses and both Maki and Nobara were huddled on the ghats so close to the river that he really had the perfect situation to get away with murder. As if sensing his thoughts, Megumi sighed, “You’re proving them right, you know.”

Sukuna had planned to spare Megumi but perhaps a little scare would do wonders on the kid. 

“Besides,” Nobara adds, “We’re Yuuji’s friends. We should be endorsing his slut era, not getting mad. What kind of a boyfriend are you?”

“The kind,” Sukuna grits out, “that gives no shits. I’m out. Get yourselves home you pack of stray delinquents.” 

As he walks away, Nobara yells out, “You’re like two years older than Maki!” 

“Yeah, two years on each of her ass hairs!” he yells back. 

(And no, he did not let the three of them get into his car and he certainly didn’t drop them all off at Maki’s place. He left their asses by the river, went home and silently contemplated his revenge). 

.

.

His revenge comes to him at the ass crack of dawn and if he hightails it to the local flower shop and shoves a few bills onto the counter with a single request ( I need a bouquet that aggressively says fuck you)...well, he thinks he’s perfectly justified. And no, him having slept only 2 hours has nothing to do with anything

Sadly, the first flower shop employee has no clue what kind of bouquet that would be (the fuck! What kind of person works at a flower shop and doesn’t know flower language?! He leaves the shop while calling the guy a useless idiot and that maybe Sukuna should give him a fuck you bouquet), while the second refuses to make it for him, even after (or perhaps especially after) he threatens to burn the place down. Figuratively. He’d never actually do that but apparently the guy didn’t know and he’d hightailed it back to his car before the guy could untangle himself enough to call for help

It’s only after he’s driven around for about 2 hours that he finds some dingy old flower shop willing to give him what he wants. The owner looks like he’s at least 500 years old but he laughs at the request. 

“Youngsters these days, so full of passion. This for your girl?”

“More like a snotty nosed brat,” he grumbles, his fingers tapping against the counter.

The old man just nods, “It’s a nice gift.”

Sukuna grins, “Won’t know what hit him. Bet he’d be too stupid. Hey, add one that means stupid in there.”

The bouquet ends up being a horrifically colorful mess of reds, oranges, yellows, and purples. Sukuna thinks it’s loud, angry, and exactly what he needs. He leaves the old man a tip and pockets the pamphlet with the meaning of the flowers. 

“As long as it means he’s stupid and needs to fuck off, I don’t care what else is written on there.”

The old man just laughs.

When Sukuna comes home he’s not even surprised to see Yuuji in the living room with the three parasites from last night playing on the console they set up a few months ago.

Yuuji doesn’t turn to him, too busy racing but Sukuna can hear his smile when he says, “Sukuna, you’re back! Where’d you go so early?”

Yuuji’s voice sounds tired. He even tries to stifle a yawn and Sukuna frowns, “Why are you awake? And didn’t I leave you three to rot by the river last night?”

“That’s not what you said when you tucked us in last night,” Maki teases. “Even gave Megumi a goodnight kiss.”

Megumi makes a disgusted sound, “Did not.”

“We heard some weirdo tried to rob a flower shop,” Nobara snickers. “Figured that was our cue to come see the show.”

The screen flashes their ranks in the race and Yuuji stretches, leaning back against the couch and smiles, “Kiss.”

But Sukuna doesn’t lean over to grant Yuuji’s request. Instead, he shoves the bouquet onto his waiting lips (and face). He squawks and Sukuna laughs. A few lose their petals and fall into Yuuji’s hair. 

Yuuji grabs the bouquet properly and Sukuna gets a front row seat to Yuuji’s reactions. He goes from confusion to delight, his pallor replaced by a healthy red and the tiredness in his eyes flees for a moment. He smells the flowers and grins, “Someone woke up sweet today. What are these for exactly?”

Sukuna smirks, “Fuck you.”

Nobara stage sings, “F-E-E-L-I-N-Gs.”

(The bouquet ends up in the kitchen and Sukuna slips the pamphlet the old man gave him under the makeshift vase.)

notes for this fic: - the prompt is based on this tumblr post - rhapshie also mentioned: "Yuuji is confused why Sukuna gave him a buncha of flowers but he just ends up blushing furiously <333 can be AU :)" -i went the AU route and only have a vague idea of everyone's circumstances and ages. for example, i know sukuna is older than everyone and that megumi is the youngest but i'm not sure how much younger. he's like the younger brother/cousin that always tags along with his older relative and their friends. i also have a vague idea that yuuji is in his 20s. he went through 3 different occupations as i wrote this, haha -i wanted to focus on Sukuna so i made the fic from his POV. i also really wanted nobara and maki to interact with sukuna and that somehow turned him into a chihuahua and dad/older brother figure?? LOL -i was curious about the flowers and found that they all also?? mean positive things. tbh idk how flower language works but according to a very quick search, while the bouquet means fuck you, it can also 1) be an apology - carnations, 2) encourages someone who is facing a challenge - orange lilies, 3) help reduce stress and bring comfort- meadowsweet & geraniums, and 4) means protection- foxglove. sukuna knows this double meaning (he totally read the pamphlet)

haven't been here in a while...

updated pinned tweet, posted one of the latest fics i wrote on here

i'd also like to crosspost a few others but...motivation is low rip

but one of my old fics might have a comeback soon?? no promises

edit: also omg i think someone went through my mp100 archive and just TYSM4 THE LOVE ;-; it made me so happy!!

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"Fuck..."

"Fuck you"

"Fuck this"

"Fuck them"

"Fuck him"

"Fuck her"

"Fuck the system"

"Fucking hell"

"Fuck (blank)"

"Fuck it"

"Fuck all of you"

"Fuck all of it"

"Fuck your parents"

"Fuck what they think"

"Fuck me"

"Fuck yeah"

"Fuck no"

"Fuck, what did you do?"

"Fucked it up, again"

"Fucker"

"Fucking bitch"

"Fuck this shit (I'm out)"

"Fuck, you caught me"

"Fuck, what the fuck?"

"Fuck. What now?"

"Fuck. Hi?"

"Fuck, what do we do?"

"Fuck. What did you do?"

"Fuck's sakes dude"

"Fuck. Wait, why?"

"Fuck..."

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