It Is Extremely Funny To Me That Jon Is The Character That Inspires The Most Insane Asoiaf Ship Wars,

it is extremely funny to me that Jon is the character that inspires the most insane asoiaf ship wars, of all characters. Jon. Jon!! Think about it. The boy is just in pure suffering throughout the entire story. He's just trying to cope, he's minding his own business, he's fed up and he's also dead last time we saw him. The burden on his shoulders is so so heavy and he's just a boy ffs. Like I'm mainly concerned by how on earth is he going to survive this and when is he ever gonna get a break and just, live basically. But because he's the only, singular, male character with an iota of decency and integrity, he suddenly becomes this golden boi archetype that everyone wants to claim as the ultimate prize for their fav gal. Leave the poor guy alone, even in the meta world the furies don't stop pursuing him somehow

the best part of jon chapters is the frequency at which he does something completely physically impossible with absolutely no commentary. jon does not know that regular people cannot throw a pillow at a wall so hard it literally explodes so he’s just like anyway oh boy time for another day of iron bank loan paperwork and counting beets!

any asoiaf fans watch the umbrella academy

Jon Snow:  Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch

KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT YOUR FCKING MOUTH!

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE.

I was having a peaceful day until I saw this monstrosity on my fyp…I will know no peace.

Why is my husband up there? Hmm? I understand that people are still sour over season eight. Don’t get me wrong I am too but why is my boy up there? Like genuinely?

You have

1. a rapist

2. a raging misogynist/shitty parent

3. a manipulative pig/ abuser

4. a righteous hypocrite/abuser

5. Vaegon is just genuinely unlikeable (I also hate the fact he used to Laena’s funeral to take a jab at my boys)

6. a genocidal maniac (who offed my boy Luke and offed thousands of innocent ppl during a temper tantrum)

7.a man who bred his wife to death/ ripped her apart/married a fourteen year old

8. An incel

Annnddddd 9. A dude who’s done nothing but try and do the right thing, yeah he has some dumb moments (bc dnd butchered him after season 5) but he hasn’t done anything!

Who’s the odd one out?

One of these things is not like the other.

I find it really ironic how my boy gets so much hate for stopping Dany from going on a genocidal march through Westeros and finds himself lumped in with literal scum of the earth when he genuinely has nothing in common with them other than the fact that he has a penis, is a Targaryen and was stupidly named Aegon (idk why that was the choice when he had a bro named Aegon already).

You know who has something in common with the men up here?

Jorah Mormont*gags* ( an incel who likes young girls, Dany is 13 in the books btw and a literal 16year old in the show, he’s a fucking weirdo): basically relates to 7&8

Rheagar Targaryen, who married a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD abandoning his sick wife and his children: he gives me 2&7 vibes.

Viserys Targaryen, an abusive weirdo, murderous psycho, misogynistic asshole who sexually assaults his little sister in the FIRST EPISODE: uh, I’m gonna give him numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (just because I hate him) and 6 (bc of his temper).

And then just to piss you off…

Daemon Targaryen, um…let’s see childish temper tantrums, seduces his 15 year old niece, MURDERS his wife (who was hot by the way) marries a girl younger than his niece and then marries his niece days after his second wife’s death. I’ll give him a partial 3 &4 (bc he put hands on my queen), a half 6, and third of 7 (the last part).

And then just to piss Y’ALL off EVEN MORE…

Danaerys Targaryen, who throws temper tantrum (bc of shitty writing) and burns thousands of innocent ppl alive, for what reason? I’m gonna give her 6. (She’s pretty tho, I’ll give her that, ily Emelia).

You know who doesn’t have a reason to be up there???

JON! LEAVE HIM ALONE GODDAMNIT!

Keep my wife’s name out your mouth.

Jon Snow defending Samwell Tarly // Lyanna Stark defending Howland Reed

Even then, Ser Alliser would not call an end. “On your feet, Ser Piggy,” he called. “Pick up your sword.” When the boy continued to cling to the ground, Thorne gestured to Halder. “Hit him with the flat of your blade until he finds his feet.” Halder delivered a tentative smack to his foe’s upraised cheeks. “You can hit harder than that,” Thorne taunted. Halder took hold of his longsword with both hands and brought it down so hard the blow split leather, even on the flat. The new boy screeched in pain.

Jon Snow took a step forward. Pyp laid a mailed hand on his arm. “Jon, no,” the small boy whispered with an anxious glance at Ser Alliser Thorne.    

***

“None offered a name, but he marked their faces well so he could revenge himself upon them later. They shoved him down every time he tried to rise, and kicked him when he curled up on the ground. But then they heard a roar. ’That’s my father’s man you’re kicking,’ howled the she-wolf.”    

//

“Look at him, Halder,” Jon urged, ignoring Thorne as best he could. “There’s no honor in beating a fallen foe. He yielded.” He knelt beside the fat boy.   

***

When his fallen foes sought to ransom horse and armor, the Knight of the Laughing Tree spoke in a booming voice through his helm, saying, ’Teach your squires honor, that shall be ransom enough.’ Once the defeated knights chastised their squires sharply, their horses and armor were returned. And so the little crannogman’s prayer was answered…

//

Thorne smiled. “The Bastard wishes to defend his lady love, so we shall make an exercise of it. Rat, Pimple, help our Stone Head here.” Rast and Albett moved to join Halder. “Three of you ought to be sufficient to make Lady Piggy squeal. All you need do is get past the Bastard.”

“Stay behind me,” Jon said to the fat boy.

***

Whoever he was, the old gods gave strength to his arm. The porcupine knight fell first, then the pitchfork knight, and lastly the knight of the two towers. None were well loved, so the common folk cheered lustily for the Knight of the Laughing Tree, as the new champion soon was called.