Still With You ~

Still with you ~

“Jungkook one shot”

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: mention of accident

Word count: 786 words

A/N:  song recommendations to listen while reading listen to 🎶 Still with you by Jungkook 🎶 

We can’t hold people, forever, they are meant to leave us alone one day and that was the fear growing inside me, ever since I realized I am already in love with him. I always wanted to hold him close, and always prayed that he would never leave me. I never realized that I already loved him more than myself, and to the point where his absence will destroy me. The promises we made with eachother, were meant to be broken at a time, yet we thought we would keep the promises alive.

 Someone told me once

 “Promises are always meant to be broken”

  I was still looking out of my window, everything reminded me of him even rain. I got out of my room and walked towards the rooftop, as soon I stepped, the rain drops started touching my body slowly.

It felt so nice, the water droplets touching my skin tenderly, it felt as if it will take away all my pain, it felt nice. As if something was holding me till now. With my wet feet I was standing under the rain reminiscing our memories.

He would always dance with me under the rain and I would always walk to him, with my wet clothes and he would hug me tight, under the rain. Those three words which always felt like magic spell to me, he would whisper it to me whenever he hugged me, “I missed you”. These three words were no less than a healing to me.

He would always know if I ever cried under rain, it was just me who loved to cry under rain when I am in pain because you can't see my tears because of raindrops and he would always catch me, “I always said, don’t cry, let’s cry together and let’s go through the pain, together.” And would hold me tight, his grip on me would be tighter after that and he would always make me feel comforted, as if those words which he always told me were real.

Everytime I would reply “Jungkook, thankyou” and he would hold me tight and kiss me softy on my lips.

If only those words were real, maybe I wouldn’t have been crying right now, with immense pain, which feels like my heart is ripping apart.

There was this time, when he and rain were my comfort but it feels so surreal that once my comfort turned into my painful memories with endless pain now. It’s the pain, that can’t be spoken or described in words but heart can only feel and the tears won’t stop falling down.

Even now, I am getting wet under rain but I don’t feel good and my mind can’t stop playing our memories, as if I am watching us right now, both of us looked so happy under rain, running, laughing, dancing together. My tears can’t stop falling, the feeling of losing someone who meant you everything, he left me leaving me in despair,

“What am I supposed to do now Jungkook? What am I supposed to do now?” these questions can never be answered, never because he is not here anymore

Everything hurts more now, now that he is not with me, it feels I am still holding him every second and refusing to let him go. This is how someone feels when you know you can never see the person anymore, who was your everything and will be everything till the end.

I can never forget the day, we met into an accident, just to save me, he came and I was saved but he, he left me.

If only I didn’t receive the call and ran towards him, he would’ve been with me right. Why did even my body freeze there, why couldn’t I move from middle of the road, if only I did that he wouldn’t have run toward me. “If you never ran towards me and wrapped me in your arms securely that day, you would’ve been by my side right now.” He would’ve been smiling right now, under the rain with me. I can never forget it and forgive myself, it’s been 3 years already.

 It would’ve been better if it was me instead of him, that day. How can he leave here alone to suffer? Everyday, “Why didn’t you take me along when you left?”

 How am I supposed to live like this, when that person came me to me as my happiest memory and I ended up hurting him like no one else can ever do.

"I wish this rain could take away all my pain like it did always"

“I miss you Jungkook and I still love you. Can you hear me from there?”

STAY HAVEN NET PRESENT: STAY TOGETHER (WILL YOU BE MINE?)

— ❝My sweetheart from now until forever. Even when death separates us, you will always be my only true love.❞

In the month of February, the month full of love, we would like to introduce our first writing event! Though this event is based in February and around Valentine’s Day, your fic is not strictly limited to these details. Any works containing a flower, chocolate, or love letter type of theme are acceptable.

This event follows the rule of ‘First come first serve’, where each member will have 2 slots of writer. So, there will only be 16 writers in total. STAY TOGETHER is also member exclusive. 

The event will take place from February 8th to 25th, and each one of these 8 days will have a scheduled Stray Kids member assigned to it. The writer for a particular member will post their story on the set dates. For example, if you chose Changbin as your chosen member, and his date is February 12th, you will have to post your work on February 12th itself. 

𝔾𝕌𝕀𝔻𝔼𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔼𝕊

How can I join?

The event is member exclusive, therefore, you have to be a network member. This event is also first come first serve, so there will only be two writer for each member. Keep in mind that you may or may not get your desired member to write for in first chance if someone else has already claimed his slot.

Send an ask to us if you wish to join, or message our event organizer @neoskidz (elsie). Mention the member, the prompt or trope etc.

If you’re not a member yet and would like to join, apply now!

What should I write?

Drabbles, timestamps, oneshots are allowed. However, all works should have a minimum of 500 words. All genres are allowed, even smut. But, please put a warning on it since there are minors here.

Notes

Please make sure you can make it before sending an ask.  

If you have a valentine themed work in the making, and your chosen time period matches with the member’s time slot, you can join with it as your entry!

Reblog this post if you are joining!  

For other questions, you can send an ask to the network, or send a message to our event organisers. We will be tracking #staysbemine and #stayhavennet!

We look forward to your works!

[Manga Scanlation] Say The Name! Seventeen: The Road to Japan Debut **read each page right to left

Chapter 1 - Part 1

Other Parts: (1) (2) (3) (4)  // tag Or read here

Scanned and Translated by: @captainoates​  // cr. Typesetted and Cleaned by: @je0nghans

[8:08 pm]

“Seungcheol one shot”

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x female reader

Genre: Angst,

Warnings: mention of blood and self harm

Word count: 1.3 K

A/N: i want to say, don't hurt yourself no matter what, things will get better, just don't hurt yourself, you are really precious to some people out there. If things get hard, hang on there, things will get better

.

[8:08 pm]

I shut the door, infront of her face, she can’t make me feel shit like this, she can’t, not after I wanted to be happy for once. She didn’t have to come to me just to make me feel miserable.

Even I have no idea how devastated I was, everything just hurts at this point. I wanted to get rid of all the thoughts, I was helpless, her guilt tripping worked on me, and I am really feeling like a mistake.

‘You are the worst child ever’

‘You don’t deserve to be here’

‘Hope no one ever gets a child like you’

‘I wish I never had you’

‘You are of no use, why are you still here’

‘You are such a rebel who never does anything I want and never listens to me. You will be alone, forever. Everyone will leave you’

‘You can never survive, no one needs you here’

These words hurts me, everytime I hear from her, but today it did something more to me, which I never wanted myself to feel, she told me everything I was feeling the same. Her words worked on me; I wanted to do something for once and finally I did but she can’t see my happiness and she cares about her reputation and everything? Is it this hard for her to accept me the way I am.

Am I really a mistake?

Will I be alone? Forever? Everyone will leave me one day? These thoughts scare me everytime, and this is scaring me, this is my biggest fear. I can’t stop crying, my heart hurts, I am alone, I miss warmth, am I really alone?

I want someone to hug me tight, I want someone by my side, because I can’t do this anymore, I want to end this suffering, I was few steps away from self-harming, I stopped it but why am I looking for ways to do this? just because it’s my coping mechanism? i can’t do this to myself not after he saved me. He always told me he will there be by my side, whenever I feel alone.

The room is filled with my crying noises only, “No, I can’t do this” this was the only thing I was saying to myself just to calm down and stop whatever I am doing but it wasn’t helping, my mind wasn’t listening to me.

I was holding phone in one hand, I went through the contacts and called him right away, I can’t do this anymore, I need to hear his voice. My tears were blurring my vision, I tried calling him once, twice, thrice, but my call was never answered, my phone fell from my hand. My legs went weak, I couldn’t think straight, is this everyone wants? Am I really a mistake? Should I leave? No one needs me here, everyone left me alone already, what am I waiting for?

“one more step and suffering will end here only.” The devastation in me was clearly visible, which couldn’t take it anymore.

Tears started falling more, I couldn’t stop crying, the feeling of being alone was eating me, my comfort person is not here, why can’t I deal with myself alone?

‘If you are depressed, you have to get help from people around you. Don't do it on your own’ his words were ringing in my ears, but my mind wasn’t listening to it at all.

I am just alone after all, I wish I was bit stronger to handle this, her arguments make me hurt more than anything else, it was not the first time I am like this, she was the reason I started self-harm, she never knew, she can never, I was losing myself everyday but there was this one person who helped me to get back at myself, I thought I was getting better but I don’t see myself doing better, she can break me into pieces. The power her words hold that she can make feel shit, unloved, alone, miserable and I can’t help but to absorb it instead of ignoring.

What can I do she is my mother after all?

I was holding the blade, so tight, that my other palm was already bleeding, “one more step” and everything ends.

That’s when I thought everything is over, there I saw him running, he came running towards me, and hugged me tight, the blade fell on the floor.

Blood already started flowing through my hand and leaving the stains on the floor, my legs went weak, I fell, he was still holding me tight in his embrace.

“Erica!”

There I broke down, my cries got louder, how he comes and saves me everytime?

“what were you trying to do just now?” he shook me hard, looked at me and then hugged me again

“You are not this weak Erica, you are not this weak, how many time I have told you, I am here for you, I can’t lose you Erica not you”

“I can’t do this anymore Seungcheol, I can’t do this anymore” I was holding him tight, my bloody hands were holding his shirt tight, making his white shirt go red. He was caressing my back, he was trying to calm me but I wanted to let it out, I just couldn’t stop crying. My cries got louder and louder; I just couldn’t think straight. What was I trying to do just now, I was trying to end everything? What about my loved ones?

“Please stay Seungcheol, please stay.” I was sounding so desperate; I just couldn’t think of anything else but him and his warmth.

“I am here love, I will never leave you, so stop hurting yourself.”

“This hurts, she hurts me everytime cheol, this is so sick.” My cries were never ending.

He lifts me up, and made me sit on the bed, he was about to go, I held the hem of his shirt, “I am not going anywhere. I am here” he removed my grip and went to bring the first aid box. He came back, he was sitting on the floor, he took my hand, he was cleaning the blood

“don’t give the power to anyone to ruin you and make you feel like this, that you want to end everything” his words making my body numb, I couldn’t help but to cry harder. “always remember you are someone’s pride, happiness and source of strength”

“I’m sorry” that was all I could utter, even I don’t know myself what was I doing back then, how come he always makes me feel better whenever I feel like everything’s over.

He cleaned the blood carefully and applied ointment; he was dressing it carefully. I couldn’t help but to cry more. He always takes care of me.

“Is it hurting a lot?” he asked softly, I shook my head.

“Cheol?”

“Hmm” he hummed

“Can I please cuddle with you? Please?” my voice broke while speaking.

“Let me keep this first aid box” he was so tender with his words, his voice is my comfort, I just can’t help it but to love him more, how come I was thinking of leaving everything behind and put everything to and end. The way his love made me stronger, I don’t want to leave him, he is my everything, my pride, my happiness and my strength.

He kept the first aid box and came towards me, he was cuddling with me and pulled the blanket and covered me, I hugged him tight and I felt safe. He was caressing my hair, “love” his voice was nearly a whisper

“hmm?”

“don’t care too much about other, love and trust yourself more and I am here for you, forever. So never do it again please, it scares me. I don’t want you to do something like this because of someone who never cared for you.”

“I’m sorry”

“I love you, I can’t lose you, you are so precious to me and to everyone” he kissed my forehead.

“I love you, thankyou so much for everything Seungcheol” I said and closed my eyes.

wayv 2021 back to school | lucas & yangyang

city stars.

pairing | hwang hyunjin x reader (gender neutral)

genre | angst, fluff, romance, illegal street racer!au, established relationship!au

synopsis | ‘racing is dangerous, he knows it, and it could cause much more damage than you would be able to handle. the topic remains a heated discussion at home as well, until both of you are panting in thinly veiled love and anger. as much as you love the city, you would never love the racing, not for how your heart pounds in your chest every second that his car isn’t in his view. he makes a comeback each time, however, zooming into view first and foremost, and your heart relieves. but, the pain of uncertainty is what scares you the most.’

warnings | swearing, illegal racing, some suggestive scenarios and phrases, mentions of anxiety and paranoia, death, first degree murder (planned and executed), some mentions of blood, grief

word count | 12k 

taglist | @heartyyjeno​​ @xiaocvlts​ @secretwhisperer​

notes from vee | hi hi! welcome to the final draft of city stars! some things you should know before you dive into the fic is that y/n is gender neutral with no pronouns mentioned whatsoever (including they/them pronouns)! hyunjin refers to y/n as ‘my love,’ ‘angel,’ and other petnames, however, but any other direct reference is by name! hyunjin and y/n are also engaged throughout the entire fic as mentioned before in the teaser. there are mentions of illegal things (as this entire fic takes place ‘underground’), murder, death, and grief, which may not be suitable for everyone. there are a few mentions of blood and a fight, but there’s nothing graphic whatsoever. but regardless, please read with caution. anyway, if you do read this and enjoy it, please leave feedback! please don’t let this fic flop lol, i worked hard on it! <3

Seas of people fill your vision: flashes of white and blacks flipping through like panels, short but significant glimpses at frayed jeans and loose-fitting tops, long gazes from sharp eyes lined with deep color, or preying stares from unsuspecting viewers. The air remains crisp when you inhale—the crippling scent of burnt-out cigars filling your nostrils and contaminating the moment—and exhale. Loud music booms from ugly speakers at the end of the row, the beats offering a vibration along with each ear-splitting cheer the crowd shows. Enthusiasm, you think, might be a factor of their efforts.

Slow-motion is not much of a bother. When your mind processes the chaotic situation at a relaxed pace, it changes the course of your thoughts, reverting them back to the reason why you’re standing amongst a vast area of lusters. There’s only a particular one you have your eyes on when the crowd erupts in the backseat of your senses, signaling the arrival of the contestants. They all count up to nine total.

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