Crying Because :((((( Literal Tears In My Eyes I'm About To Breakdown

crying because :((((( literal tears in my eyes I'm about to breakdown

𝟏𝟎:𝟑𝟎 𝐏𝐌 — ft. imaushi wakasa

wakasa likes it when you let him lay his head on your lap, and when you play with his hair.

hell, he loves it when you tug the elastic out of his locks and tangle your fingers in the coloured stripes of his hair, because god it feels so good after an entire day of having his hair all up in that tight ass ponytail.

he likes it best when you're both sprawled over your shared bed, muttering to eachother random comments about what happened through out your day, and he can see the crescent moon through the window.

outside, he might be the unphased, powerful and infamous executive of brahman, but once it's all over and he can come home and spend some time with you, that side of him dissolves.

he dissolves, into your hold, melting at your touch like you're the sun coming through the kitchen window and he's the ice cubes you always put in the coffee you drink at the start of your day.

he used to call shinichiro a sap, for constantly complaining about not having someone to coddle and take care of him - but now, he knows there's not a day he can survive without you around to treat him like he's something soft and fragile and sweet, after so long of being impassive, hard and battle-ready.

"there's a bruise here, waka." you gently press at his left shoulder blade. he's laying on his stomach, face pressed to your thigh, eyes shut.

"hm?" he pretends he's half asleep, hoping you won't get up. "oh. yeah, that's nothing. just leave it."

"it's purple, waka." you press, and he feels you moving, trying to ease him off you so you can get up. "let me get some ointment—"

"no, wait." he grabs your wrist and pulls you back - you turn to him, and he lifts himself off the sheets and sits up, hair falling in seams to curtain the sides of his face. pretty.

"what?" you question, and he has to take a moment to gather his thoughts. he blinks at you, long lashes throwing shadows across his face.

"one kiss." he says, and you raise an eyebrow.

"a kiss." he repeats. "gimme a kiss, and then you can go get the ointment."

you roll your eyes at him, then raise your hand as if to flick his forehead - but instead, you lace your fingers around the back of his neck and pull him close, land a peck on his lips.

"thanks." he gives you that half smile of his, lazily affectionate, and lets go of you so you can go get the ointment for him.

he's surprised when you lean back in and touch his forehead with your lips gently, before getting up and walking out of the room, muttering under your breath about kitchen drawers or something - he doesn't catch your words properly, because he's too busy thinking that, damn.

there really isn't going to be a day where he'll make it without you there with him. if shinichiro saw him now, he'd say, hah, you're the real sap.

but wakasa doesn't mind. he wouldn't mind being called anything, if it meant he was with you . . . and on that same note, he wouldn't really mind having shinichiro come round and call him a sap, either.

Rants!! (Warnings of self-harm and suicide)

I'm just gonna rant because idk what to do anymore. Like I really wanna portray my universe and start writing for my OCs but school is such a pain rn and I can barely do anything to cope and it's just so suffocating.

Like dont get me wrong I love school to an extent but I have never wanted to kill myself as much as I did right now, I'm so damn stressed and tired like; I'm really sitting here at 12:28 am wondering why I didnt die back when I was 11. I'm 19 now, something I honestly didnt expect to even live to and yea I did but I really cant rn. Like really really cant.

I know when I feel like I want to self harm or something I'm supposed to message my therapist but I honestly feel like I'm burdening the guy eventhough I'm not supposed to feel that way. I see him on monday so I should be fine,,,,,hopefully.

It sucks that I've been feeling extra lonely recently. I dont have anyone else beside my parents and a few close friends but I only really talk to one person out of all of them because I've just had bad experiences with friendships. I know I told myself I dont need a relationship right now (and quite frankly I'm not in a mental state to be in one) but sometimes its nice to have that kind of intimacy with someone I think,,,

It's been some days since I last inflicted some kind of pain on myself which is good I guess. My self harm no longer involves me cutting but i sort of developed a really bad habit of pulling my hair out??? it sounds stupid but i honestly hate doing it but i cant stop???

I just really wanna start writing again (I have a word doc of inspo stuff I never finished) and I :/. I really could just use a hug from someone other than my mum rn. I dont like hugging my dad still since men still make me really uncomfy irl but god :( when will I catch a break

I'm either gonna delete this or forget it exists

HE'S ALL THAT is a genshin xiao x reader smau based on the 2021 movie: he's all that. follow along for the ride to see popular and beloved-turned disliked ex-influencer y/n transform the least popular boy in school, the reclusive alatus "xiao" li, into a hot not-a-mess to redeem themself. but what happens when the makeover changes both of them?

genre: romantic fluff, hurt & comfort, sfw

content warnings: angst, fluff, betting on love, kaveh is mean as fuck, you can read the synopsis of he's all that if you want to know how the storyline will go, but you'll probably spoil it for yourself. i'll deviate from some parts of the storyline to fit this smau.

a/n: my first ever 1/2 smau and 1/2 fic <3 hopefully this gets me back into writing mwa love you all, thank you for being so patient with me! i hope you’ll all look forward to this :,) 🤍

masterlist:

prologue. twitter profiles i. a beloved influencer ii. the downfall of a beloved influencer iii. he's the one

taglist:

@futuristic-tsuki @haliyamori @taokives @soleillunne @his-kikufuku @stcrfeesh @manjiros-wifey @ineshapanda @abyssalsprince @ilyuu @mccnstruck @vennnnn-diagram @obsidiannero (send an ask in to be on the taglist!)

ugh this was so good :((((

words can't describe how good it is

Always In My Heart (Sakusa Kiyoomi)

PAIRING: gn!reader x Sakusa Kiyoomi

SUMMARY: Now that you’re gone, Kiyoomi wishes he had something to remember you by.

interactions (comments and reblogs) are much appreciated! ♥︎

Sakusa Kiyoomi doesn’t like taking pictures. Not of himself, of other people, or even things. He’s never found much sense in doing it to be honest, and never got why people were so obsessed with sharing every single second of their lives with complete strangers around the world. It always annoyed him when he had to wait before he could start eating because his friends wanted to take pictures of the food, and he didn’t like it going cold.

But you loved them — that, he remembers.

“Come on, Omi,” you begged, squeezing your hands together and shooting him a wide, winning grin. “Just one pic.”

Sakusa pursed his lips, studying your face. He almost gave in, but what else could anyone expect when you had such a pretty smile?

“I really don’t see the point in taking pictures,” he murmured, busying himself with tying his shoelace instead. He knows that another single second of gazing into your beautiful eyes would make him fold. “You don’t even post them anywhere. Your Instagram is pretty much a blank profile.”

Your brows knit together as you gave him the most disappointed look he’d ever seen you wear, arms folded across your chest with a small pout on your lips that absolutely melted his heart.

It’s true that you don’t upload them, but you do adore taking pictures of things that you think are pretty, and Omi is gorgeous. You wish you had at least one picture of the two of you together.

“Well, don’t you want to remember this moment?”

With a soft smile —one of those he usually saved just for you—, he straightened up and placed his hands on your cheeks, squishing them together to make your pout more prominent. He pressed a gentle kiss against them, earning a slightly unwilling smile from you.

“I have an excellent memory. I don’t need pictures to remember anything, especially when it comes to you,” he explained. “Every single thing about you is forever etched in my memory.” After a short pause in which he admires your blushing face, he added, “And besides, I’d much rather enjoy every moment of my life with you than waste a single second taking a picture we don’t really need.”

His words seemed to content you, and with a soft sigh, you leaned into his touch, your smaller hand cupping his, and slightly turned your face to deliver a small kiss onto the inside of his wrist.

“M’kay.”

Despite your reply, that wasn’t the last time you asked for a picture, but his answer was always the same. So, to this day, Sakusa Kiyoomi doesn’t have a single picture of you in his phone, and he deeply regrets it with each breath he takes.

Keep reading

this was so sweet I love it :((

Little traces of you - Eddie Munson x reader

concept - you've just moved to college and you're really missing your boyfriend, and it doesn't help the shirt he gave you doesn't smell like him anymore

a/n - just a soft little drabble done on my phone because im in a fluff mood

"Pumpkin? Did you fall asleep?" his voice was soft into his end of the phone, spoken into a soft hushed whisper into cold staticy plastic, and it echoed in your end.

He heard your breathing slow into long deep breaths, if you had fallen asleep he'd stay on the phone with you all night just to hear you breathe. Close his eyes and imagine the weight of you pressed into the mattress next to him. If he concentrated really hard he swore to himself he could smell the trace remnants of you in the fabric of his sheets.

But you weren't in Hawkins, you were two hours away in Indiana, tucked away in a tiny and cramped worn down dorm instead of being tucked into bed resting against his chest like you used to.

"No- I'm here," you finally answered him, your voice muffled as your face pressed into the shirt you was adamant about keeping among your pillows. Eddies shirt.

And not just any one of his shirt, his and subsequently your favorite shirt of his that he had given you so he wouldn't feel so far away.

You felt ridiculous, like a child clinging to a safety blanket or their favorite stuffed animal. But instead it was a well worn and loved concert shirt sympathetically donated by your metalhead boyfriend who in that moment felt impossibly far away.

Only two weeks away from him, and yet you had still called him almost every night. Blowing off parties and get togethers just to hear his voice through the statics tones of the phone.

Never in your life had you been homesick, but now it was an overwhelming feeling that shook your whole body.

"What happened sweet thing?" Of course he was able to tell something was wrong, even without having to see your face, being miles away in a completely different town, he knew something was wrong.

"Nothing..." you muttered back to him, shifting around in your bed hopelessly, the bed which never seemed to be able to get completely comfortable in.

"You're gonna have to do better than that of you want to convince me." Eddies ring clad finger was endlessly twirled in the curl of the phone chord, desperately wishing it was your hair he was playing with instead.

"It doesn't-" you felt ridiculous admitting it and you had to fight the words to come out, "it doesn't smell like you anymore."

Even when pressing the soft fabric against your nose you could barely smell the hints of his heavy cologne and bitter cigarette smoke. The smell of Eddie, the smell of home.

It felt as if he was slowly drifting away from you, dwindling with every passing second and you had to fight to keep tears from spilling from your eyes

The pang that echoed through Eddies chest was overwhelming. He could practically hear your lip quivering through the phone, and all he wanted to do was to be there for you, with you.

"Wanna hear something silly?" Eddie shifted in his bed, laying flat on his back with the phone pressed to his ear, he didn't wait for your answer. "I have one of your shirts."

"You have one of my shirts?" you hiccuped into the phone, giving up on trying to hide it anymore, you heard Eddie's laugh on the other side, and it only made you want to cry harder.

"Yeah... I kinda took it from one of your boxes before you left," his admission soothed you a little bit, it was the most Eddie thing to do, "it doesn't smell like you anymore either."

"Eddie?" you asked carefully, biting at your anxiously, you didn't want to seem clingy or needy, even though that might have been exactly what you were.

"Yes Pumpkin?"

"I really miss you"

"I miss you more"

"Tell me I'll see you soon... Please?"

"Say the word sweetheart and I'll pack the car and leave right now, be there in two hours, an hour and a half if I'm speedy,"

"No- no you don't need to do that just soon?"

He was your everything, just as you were his. And being away from someone who inhabited every part of your life was more difficult than you ever imagined it would be.

"How about next weekend?"

Nine days.

"Yeah- yeah next weekend."

"Do you think you can get some rest?" His voice was seeped heavy in sleep, and you could feel the desperation nipping at your eyelids as they grew heavy, and you hummed softly back to him.

"I love you," when he said it, it felt like a promise.

"I love you too,"

"I'll see you soon," Eddie said after a few moments of silence, but you were already long asleep.

Three days afterwards a package waited for you on your doorstep which was... strange? You weren't expecting anything and your mother surre wouldn't be sending you care packages this soon.

But as soon as the package was within the grasp of your fingers and you could read the name of the sender you practically ripped the box apart.

The letter tucked inside hard you on the verge of tears and you read it as you pressed the new shirt to your nose.

This time, a black and white long sleeve hellfire shirt was carefully packed away, and the smell was almost overwhelming.

"You're welcome," was the first thing he was when he picked up the phone that night.

"Thank you," you whispered back, the heavy feeling in your chest was still there but it had eased.

"I'll bring you another one when I come up and visit,"

tears in my eyes, what must I do to get this kind of love :(((

Eddie Munson is a forehead kiss guy. (Well an any kiss guy really but) LOVES when you’re sitting in his lap or laying over him and you push his curls up and away to plant a smooch. Refuses to admit it out loud but that kind of innocent show of affection makes him QUAKE. He’s already blushing, grinning like a goofball before you’re even pulling away to look at him. It makes you want to do it again, so you do. He always laughs the second time, tries to play it off by calling you a sap, but you can tell he loves it by the way his eyes have become all soft and shiny. Literally like a puppy dog he’ll lean forward into your mouth to get one more to the forehead, closer to between his eyebrows, before moving up to kiss the smug smile right off your face the second it appears.