Absolutely Exhausted Today (/POS) So Low Effort Posts Only For Me BUT I'm So Unreasonably Stoked You

Absolutely exhausted today (/POS) so low effort posts only for me BUT I'm so unreasonably stoked you guys. I feel the need to explain the otherkin tag at the beginning of the post; my kind are oceanic, so what I got IS related to it I swear.

My area has a local witchy market that I went to today, and UGH it was so fun. The last time I went everything I got was for my deities, but this time I figured... Well, I've been actively working on self-love and acceptance a lot lately. So I got things for me, with the exception of one crystal for my familiar bc they don't have anything on my altar so I told them to nudge me towards anything they liked.

I am nothing if not predictable; it's all ocean themed. I got a few crystals that reminded me of the ocean (except the rose quartz), a shell, a piece of coral... And now's where I tw it for dead things.

BIG HUGE WARNING, DEATH MENTION/ANIMAL DEATH MENTION.

I got possibly the coolest thing I own; a little friend. More specifically, an octopus in a jar. The other specimens were 30 dollars, which I couldn't justify- but they had one little guy left, who was 25 instead. That makes a big enough difference in my head. I know it might be odd that a dead octopus would feel comforting to an otherkin whose kind were protectors of the ocean, but as someone who works with Hades, I find a comfort in the darker things sometimes.

TW OVER YOU CAN READ SAFELY NOW

So now I suppose I have to clear off some space for a self-love altar, but that comes tomorrow. For now, I'm just happy to have found some things to connect me to who I am, even when I can't go see the ocean.

WAIT holy shit I never posted this

HEY YEAH BY THE WAY I used flight rising's predict morphology thing to try and make what I look like. I sort of just went through it intuitively, since i didn't have much more than a vague shape and color, and I swear to you I got emotional the more things began to click.

And by the end, I was looking at... basically me. I think I only have one pair of wings, so maybe take the second pair away or turn them into fins. Add antlers and take away the feathers around the head, probably elongate the snoot a little, I think take away the little clawed wings, and there ya go that's me.

tbh the white patterns are specifically, I think, meant to look watery so I'm not sure that it's like... A solid pattern. I think it's meant to ripple and reflect like the surface of water. I don't think my form IS water, but I think it looks like it quite a bit.

you are not you.

and yet i still see you.

i see the wings beneath your clothes, rustling and trying to get used to being so small.

i see the horns beneath your hair, threatening to grow and point towards the skies like they did before.

i see the claws beneath your nails, wanting to poke free and scratch at the bark of the nearest tree.

i see the pads on your hands, soft and invisible, waiting to touch the snow of tundras again.

you are not you.

and yet i still see you.

Ayyy I can actually offer input here! Local pagan witch, and I was a witch WAY before I realized I just also happened to be a dragon. I've been actively practicing (admittedly in cycles/off and on) for about four years, and I've considered myself pagan since middle school.

My discovery or "awakening" or whatever word you'd like to use was because I started to work with my familiar, who is a dragon, and they basically.... gently implied that there might be a reason I loved dragons so much. And then left me to figure out the rest on my own. Love them, they're a bit of a cryptic bitch.

A little funny to me that I do follow a religion that suggests reincarnation is part of the afterlife (just part of it! it's complicated) but my inhumanity is 100% psychological in nature. It's interesting to me how a lot of spiritual alterhumans seem to intertwine their beliefs with their alterhumanity, I think it's so cool to connect different parts of your identity like that! It's just not me for some reason, they're pretty separate and I'm okay with it like that. I've also noticed a lot of spiritual alterhumans are pagans, which makes me curious if they were following their religion before or after discovering they were alterhuman

(I have also noticed unfortunately a lot of pagans in the community have very appropriative practices that stem from the modern wicca/witchy/neopagan movement that just cherrypicked several holidays from different cultures and then just made up whatever they wanted about them......but that is not really related to this post. maybe for another time lol)

YES I've talked to my mom about how, when I can't stim, I often stim in my head. I imagine doing the stimming motion, the image pops up in my head very literally.

Even though I don't get really strong shifts yet, because I don't feel like I've REALLY tapped into this part of me, I often still get the IMAGE. I shudder and get the image of my wings shuddering with me. I stretch and my wings stretch. I can stim with my wings a little bit, even though I honestly haven't learned how because my very literal mind is like "but do wings move like that though?"

I wish I could find a less infantilizing way to say this, but I feel like a fuckin' toddler who just discovered their hands. "HOLY SHIT WHAT DO THESE DO????"

i love tail and ear shifts so much cus even tho they aren’t ’actually there’ i still see them as another way to stim :3

This isn't otherkin, but it was funny enough that I still want to share:

My peer counselor: "So... I have a thing I've been debated giving you, but I don't want to upset you. It's- okay it's for this self-love workbook for women, and it's so cool! I really think it would do you some good. I was going to try and get you the one for men, but it's thirty dollars more-"

Me: "Thirty dollars is a completely valid reason to give me the workbook for women. Plus I bet you money that the one for men is ugly terrible colors, this one is pretty."