Kami Is Not Dumb Enough To Think He's Smarter Than Ren Or That He Knows More. They're Both Incredibly

kami is not dumb enough to think he's smarter than ren or that he knows more. they're both incredibly similar, having gone through a lot of the same ordeals and trauma. their lives DID veer off though, where ren went through irminsul and erased himself, and kami did not. HOWEVER, their emotions, no matter the outcome are still similar in that they both share a huge lack of trust in people and a huge dislike for their past.

though, kami still feels inclined to protect ren!! not because he's older (what's ~100 years in the grand scheme of life?), and not because he chose a more difficult road, but because he knows that suffering alone isn't worth it. he can't tell ren what to do or how to act because KAMI himself doesn't know! they're both just floundering through their shitty existence with the shitty hand they were dealt, but the difference is kami can support ren.

that's his brother! ren is his family!!!

kami also doesn't want to go back to his own world quite yet. he COULD at any time. he knows that if he were to go back to irminsul and be like "take me home", he could go back and face life a little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. but kami is also stupidly selfish and isn't ready to leave behind the one person who understands most what he's going through. it's not some heightened understanding, but kami can bullshit as well as the next person. he spent time in the fatui too, he lived as a harbinger, he knows things, he's done things. he likes to pretend to impart little nuggets of wisdom, and ren seems to humor him well enough. (or maybe kami actually does know what he's talking about sometimes, and it helps that it honestly seems to benefit ren.)

but that's why he's here with ren! they might not NEED each other. more specifically, ren might not need kami, but that support system, especially with someone who can empathize, is a whole lot better than going through it alone. plus, who needs therapy when you can be murder twins together? that's the best kind of therapy!

l;sjksdl;fk i just think so much about these two. i think so much about how much kami actually loves ren and would do anything for him. he can offer his own wisdom with his own thoughts and life experience and hope it gives ren some perspective, and he can also be an obnoxious prick to give ren something else to think about and do instead of falling into a depressed stupor over things neither of them can control. as long as they're together, kami DOESN'T have to worry about either of them getting hurt. he can see that ren is slowly getting happier, and surviving well enough. eventually kami might have to leave and go back home, but for now, he's not going to worry about that.

because he still wants to help, he still NEEDS to help. he needs to be certain 100% that ren doesn't need him anymore. but as long as ren continues to trust him and even want to return the favor, kami is going to take that as permission to stay put and continue to protect ren the only way he knows how: by sheer anemo kick ass power.

they're brothers, your honor.

"uh huh," chongyun says absently, leading the way to the body of water. "i'll just tell my whole body not to succumb to human limitations. even though i'm human." there's an upward curl of their lips that ren can't see, as chongyun's back is to him.

they also pause here, standing still for a moment to allow ren to catch up. "hey ren? i have another question." the conversation is changed, dropped for something much more DEVIOUS. the smirk on chongyun's face grows wider as they snatch ren's wrist firmly, using their free hand to casually drop their claymore on the ground.

"remind me again, what does water smell like?"

chongyun charges forward, lunging into the water and dragging ren with him.

there's  a  brief  pause,  a  moment  of  consideration  —  the  wanderer's  face  is  so  expressive  that  it's  clear  the  instant  the  grin's  intention  CLICKS.  features  settle  into  a  playful  look  accordingly;  head  tipping  back,  one  thin  brow  arching.  ❝  in  that  case,  maybe  you  should  just  CHOOSE  not  to  be  poisoned  next  time. ❞  ren  tells  them,  tone  dismissive  to  the  point  of  clear  parody.   ❝  surely  you  can  do  that,  can't  you?  stop  being  and  susceptible  to  deadly  substances  —change  starts  with  YOU. ❞

a  joke,  obviously.  he  isn't  so  oblivious  about  the  finer  intricacies  of  human  bodies  —  quite  the  OPPOSITE.  still,  it  can  be  fun  to  play  the  out  of  touch  immortal  from  time  to  time.  (  it  feels  like  a  jab  at  his  past  self.  )

he  follows  their  gaze  towards  the  water,  eyes  bright  with  poorly  concealed  curiosity.  ❝  dinner  and  a  show?  interesting. ❞   ren  certainly  isn't  complaining  —  for  once.  he's  never  required  food  to  survive,  never  felt  the  gnawing  of  hunger  in  the  pit  of  his  nonexistent  stomach,  but  he's  still  acquired  a  peculiar  fondness  for  FISH  nonetheless.  ❝  knock  yourself  out.  i'll  be  the  judge  of  your  culinary  prowess  —  just  don't  expect  me  to  hand  over  any  bonus  points  out  of  pity. ❞

he waits for the noises outside to die down. kami doesn't TRUST himself to open the door immediately and check. but he raises his gaze toward the ceiling, checking to make sure no hallucination is going to suddenly manifest from above. when nothing shows up, kami squeezes his arms, pinching them and leaving red spots behind. not enough to BRUISE, but more to check that he's lucid.

his pills were supposed to be stronger than this. but usually, the noises are followed with visuals, and without those, kami is starting to breathe regularly. more FORCED, but he's breathing. carefully, quietly, he's turning around and lifting himself up to peek through the hole. he's terrified of what he'll maybe see on the other side, so he sucks in a deep breath, pressing his hands to the door as he looks.

it feels like something straight out of a horror movie. there's NOTHING there ― but he's not marking himself as safe yet. not until he knows for sure.

"k...kuni?" kami tests the waters. he holds his breath as he scans what little he can see, but either the manifestation left, or kami was just having a very lucid dream. unlocking the door, he pulls it open, just in time to see his cousin.

with a shriek, kaminari jumps back, tripping over his own feet and landing HARD on his ass. it's painful, and he's wincing, half rolling to his side to rub at his tailbone. the door swings open wide to slam into the inside wall with enough force to almost slam shut again. LUCKILY, it doesn't. and the door rests, slightly more than ajar and leaving kami with plenty of room to stare.

his gaze never leaves his cousin. he's still not sure if he's hallucinating anything or not, but he's very much aware he's awake this time, with clarity. there's no fade out, no whispers that accompany this. just a very real, very SOLID figure sitting on his porch and looking almost dejected. or at least, that's what the posture looks like to kami.

"what the fuck, kunikuzushi?" kami snaps. the panic is fading, giving way to very sharp anger. he's still trembling, now harder than before. he isn't sure if he's going to have another anxiety attack or pass out, but he remains seated. "what the hell is actually wrong with you? if you're even real, that is!"

he  lurches  back  when  the  door  SLAMS  in  his  face,  only  just  barely  managing  to  preserve  his  dignity  by  swallowing  back  a  yelp.  ❝  kami  —  ! ❞   the  hacker  hisses,  trying  his  damndest  to  keep  a  low  voice  while  still  somehow  conveying  his  displeasure  to  the  SABOTEUR  on  the  other  side.  he  surrenders  to  his  paranoia,  glancing  over  his  shoulder  to  ensure  no  wandering  eyes  are  watching  this  downright  embarrassing  display.  fortunately,  the  neighbors  haven't  come  creeping  out  of  their  homes  to  gawk  like  the  empty-skulled  lemmings  they  most  assuredly  are  —  but  that  doesn't  mean  this  commotion  won't  draw  unwanted  attention  if  he  isn't  able  to  stop  it  quickly.  ❝  bastard. ❞   ren  mutters,  turning  back  to  the  door.  he  has  half  a  mind  to  start  clawing  at  it  like  a  cat.  see  how  much  of  a  hallucination  he  is  after  he's  caused  a  pretty  penny  of  well  earned  PROPERTY  DAMAGE.

he  settles  for  knocking  —  again.  still  clinging  to  the  barest  threads  of  proper  social  decorum,  if  only  for  the  sake  of  minimizing  the  spectacle.  ❝  i'm  not  aunt makoto  —  and  i'm  not  another  manifestation  of  your  mind  playing  tricks  on  you. ❞   knock.  knock.  knock.  ❝  i'm  very  real  and  very  alive.  i  can  even  prove  it  if  you'd  just  do  me  a  favor  and  open  up  already.  what's  the  harm?  it's  just  me. ❞   knock.  knock.  knock.  ❝  you  know  that  i  know  how  to  pick  locks.  so  why  don't  you  save  us  both  the  trouble  and  let  me  in ...  before  i  FORCE  my  way  in  and  throttle  you.  non  —  ugh.  NON-FATALLY,  for  the  record! ❞

this  clearly  isn't  working.  his  back  hits  the  door  with  an  audible  THUMP  and  he  sinks  down  to  the  ground.  tugging  knees  to  his  chest,  ren  rests  his  chin  on  top  of  them.  maybe  this  was  a  bad  idea.  (  no,  it  definitely  is.  )  he's  well  aware  that  kaminari  has  his  own  demons  —  and  is  swiftly  coming  to  the  unnerving  realization  he  probably  contributed  GENEROUSLY  to  them  with  his  little  stunt.  he  simply  assumed  appearing  like  this  would  be  enough  to  fix  it.  fix  everything.  repair  the  damage,  repay  his  debt  —  though  it  seems  as  if  he's  accumulated  INTEREST  over  the  months  and  months  he's  diligently  kept  himself  hidden.  ren  didn't  think  kaminari  would  care  so  much.  his  mother  certainly  didn't;  she  couldn't  even  be  bothered  to  handle  his  funeral  arrangements  herself.

they  hadn't  even  gotten  the  flowers  right;  bruise-violet  and  crimson  like  freshly  spilled  blood.  his  favorite  color  was  BLUE.

❝  i  made  a  mistake. ❞   he  finally  says,  voice  taut  like  a  string  pulled  near  to  breaking.  ❝  i  had  to  resort  to  doing  something  desperate  —  otherwise  i  would  have  ended  up  dead  for  real ...  please,  kaminari. ❞   pride  tastes  foul  on  his  tongue,  but  ren  swallows  it  down  to  beg.   ❝  i  need  your  help.  just  open  the  door ...  and  i'll  give  you  the  explanation  you  deserve. ❞

today i'm thinking about ships.

♡ Munday Meme ♡

Some questions to get to know the mun’s rping habits!

When did you start writing on Tumblr?

Who was your first muse?

Who are your longest rp friends?

Favourite thing about roleplaying?

Least favourite thing about roleplaying?

OTP for your muse?

NOTP for your muse?

What are some similarities between you and your muse/muses?

What are some differences between you and your muse/muses?

Would you be friends with your muse if they were real?

Would you write with duplicate characters? How do you think your muse would react?

Have you any old muses that you’d love to bring back?

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know?

Who is an author that inspires you?

What do you look for in a rp partner?

Favourite trope?

Least favourite trope?

Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?

Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

How do you overcome writer’s block?

Are there certain characters that you gravitate towards?

Short, medium, or long threads?

Do you ever get jealous when rping? How do you handle this?

What about your muse are you most proud of?

watching arlecchino's trailer again after months and remembering that tiny crumb of scaramouche.

so now i have a desire for scaramouche to show a freshly knighted knave around and being so condescending like "just because you killed the harbinger doesn't mean you've earned everyone's respect yet. get good, worm."

the dynamics.