His Mind Is An Empty State Of What The Fuck, On Repeat. It's Like A Static Hum In The Back Of His Mind,

his mind is an empty state of what the fuck, on repeat. it's like a static hum in the back of his mind, leaving him unable to do ANYTHING until kuni is inside. it's only at this point that kami manages to get to his feet, lurching toward the door to slam it shut, locking it once more.

he's still not sure what's actually happening, only that there's a sense of URGENCY that has him even more on edge. "i'm sorry," kami says, clenching his teeth and holding back the urge to snap. "if i can't call you by your fucking name―" he stops there, looking back toward the door. he doesn't know his neighbors well enough to have a solid connection. he's doubtful any of them would actually care about someone named kunikuzushi, but he also hasn't been part of his cousin's world. he doesn't know what exactly is going through kuni's mind.

"so basically you let me think you were dead for months on end." his voice is flat. he's still running over all the information in his mind, trying to make sense of it. it's only giving him an even bigger headache, and threatening to pull him down into some depth of despair and heartbreak. kami gets it though. LOGICALLY, he can understand why kuni did what he did. kami isn't sure he'd take the same exact road, but he can understand burning all bridges (literally) to get out of trouble.

emotionally though, kami feels betrayed and heartbroken. he'd thought their bond had been a lot stronger than this. kami had relied on kuni for A LOT, and part of him is even wondering if his own demons had helped contribute to this, like kuni WANTED to get away from him.

his eyes are starting to wonder from these thoughts, so kami turns away to hastily wipe his eyes. he's not going to start crying now, not when there's so much to actually discuss. he still needs answers, though he's not sure how likely he is to get all of them right now. kuni is probably exhausted, and needs a place to stay and... kami has a spare bedroom...

"...if you had to do all that, then why come back at all?" kami asks. his voice is neutral, forcing himself to turn back to his cousin. "why not just let me THINK you were gone forever? i would've coped, survived, something." it's not a lie, either. even after his downward spiral thanks to his own mother, kami eventually found a way to bounce back. he likes to think he'd bounced back quicker after kuni's death, with it only taking a matter of months, instead of years.

his life is still a shit hot mess though.

"...and i'm assuming you want to stay here?" he's reaching for kuni though. desperately needing to FEEL how solid his cousin is. as mad and depressed kami is over the entire incident, kuni is still his cousin. someone he always held in high regard. to lose him again would destroy him.

despite  his  numerous  requests  (  demands,  really  )  ren  isn't  expecting  it  when  the  door  finally  DOES  open.  this  time,  he  doesn't  have  the  chance  to  swallow  back  his  surprise  —  the  hacker  audibly  yelps,  and  nearly  falls  over,  only  just  barely  managing  to  catch  himself  at  the  last  possible  moment.  (  fortunately;  if  he  landed  on  his  laptop  he  would  be  furious.  )  ❝  yes,  yes.  kunikuzushi.  why  don't  you  say  it  louder  —  i  don't  think  the  entire  neighborhood  has  heard  you  yet. ❞  he  knows  it  isn't  kaminari's  fault;  his  cousin  isn't  aware  of  the  circumstances  surrounding  —  well,  ANY  part  of  the  mess  he's  gotten  himself  into.  he's  horribly  stressed  and  his  nerves  are  frayed  and  it's  compelling  him  to  lash  out  unjustly.  he'll  remember  to  feel  guilt  for  that  later;  at  the  moment,  he  only  has  enough  mental  real  estate  to  tackle  one  MISTAKE  at  a  time.

the  door  is  open,  so  ren  decides  he's  going  to  take  advantage  of  the  opportunity  before  his  cousin  comes  back  to  his  senses.  deft  hands  snatch  up  the  flower  pot  resting  on  the  porch  beside  him.  it  contains  a  SUCCULENT  —  a  tiny,  yet  vibrant  thing  with  healthy  leaves.  (  it's  all  he  has  for  luggage.  )  he  rises  to  his  feet  and  slips  inside  kaminari's  home  swift  as  the  breeze,  nudging  the  door  shut  behind  him.  it's  only  then  that  the  hacker  allows  himself  the  luxury  of  a  sigh;  it  feels  like  a  weight  has  been  lifted  off  his  chest  —  not  entirely,  but  enough  so  that  he  can  draw  breath  without  a  STRUGGLE.   ❝  i'm  a  member  of  this  family. ❞   he  says,  looking  down  at  his  cousin.  there's  a  twinge  of  sympathy  in  his  eyes  —  as  if  that  simple  fact  alone  has  DOOMED  them  both.  ❝  naturally  there's  a  lot  of  things  wrong  with  me,  but  we  don't  have  all  day  to  list  them. ❞  he  at  least  has  the  courtesy  to  nudge  the  other  with  his  shoe.  it's  a  gesture  that  might  be  construed  as  playful  or  annoying  (  or  both  )  under  different  circumstances,  but  here  it  serves  as  proof  of  his  existence.

well.  that  was  supposed  to  be  the  easy  part.  the  hard  part  is  actually  explaining  himself.

❝  i  know  it  seems  extreme. ❞  obviously.  ❝  faking  my  own  death  isn't  the  sort  of  choice  i  would  make  if  i  had  any  other  option.  i  needed  to  disappear  —  and  the  only  way  i  could  do  that  WITHOUT  being  seen  as  a  loose  end ...  was  if  they  thought  i  was  no  longer  in  any  position  to  TALK. ❞  it  was  either  that  or  run  —  but  if  he  ran,  there  was  no  telling  what  they  would  do.  target  his  mother?  fine  —  she  could  fend  for  herself.  target  kaminari?  he  didn't  deserve  that.

anxiety  has  afflicted  him  with  a  strange,  nervous  sort  of  energy.  ren  finds  he's  started  to  pace  —  back  and  forth,  back  and  forth  like  an  animal  trapped  in  a  too-small  cage.  ❝  the ...  that  group  i  was  involved  with.  i  know  you  weren't  exactly  fond  of  them,  but  they  were  worse  than  i  ever  let  on.  considerably  worse.  i  still  continued  to  lend  them  my  services,  because ... ❞   because  he  liked  feeling  useful.  feeling  powerful.  how  stupid  of  him.  ❝  ...  not  important.  i  had  to  leave  —  and  kunikuzushi  needed  to  die ...  so  to  make  a  very  long  story  short,  that's  precisely  what  i  arranged  to  have  happen. ❞

Chongyun spends so much time wishing they didn't have their yang energy and would love to overcome it, that they never once consider that it might be beneficial for other people to just be in Chongyun's promiximity.

Somebody: Oh my god, can I stay next to you? I feel good suddenly

Chongyun: wtf

"be confused. i relish in it."

oficeandwind || "nope."

"What the hell-!"

♡ Munday Meme ♡

Some questions to get to know the mun’s rping habits!

When did you start writing on Tumblr?

Who was your first muse?

Who are your longest rp friends?

Favourite thing about roleplaying?

Least favourite thing about roleplaying?

OTP for your muse?

NOTP for your muse?

What are some similarities between you and your muse/muses?

What are some differences between you and your muse/muses?

Would you be friends with your muse if they were real?

Would you write with duplicate characters? How do you think your muse would react?

Have you any old muses that you’d love to bring back?

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know?

Who is an author that inspires you?

What do you look for in a rp partner?

Favourite trope?

Least favourite trope?

Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?

Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

How do you overcome writer’s block?

Are there certain characters that you gravitate towards?

Short, medium, or long threads?

Do you ever get jealous when rping? How do you handle this?

What about your muse are you most proud of?

"you―" kami growls when cyno walks off. kaminari knows he's meant to follow, but he's doing so with aggravation. he's huffing and muttering to himself under his breath. while NORMALLY, kami would find cyno's puns hilarious (or as hilarious as they can be without actually making him laugh), he's not in the mood for it now. kami's mind is still distracted on trying to learn about stoats and how to actually care for them.

"you're officially banned from telling jokes," kami retorts. he has zero actual authority to carry out such a punishment, and even nahida would overrule him; she'd probably even go the extra mile and order cyno to annoy kami in every manner the general finds fitting. "i have... i can get tighnari on my side. banned."

"Maybe they enjoy a healthy breakfast, like fruit jam on a slice of stoat-sted bread."

Immediate. Spontaneous. Absolutely lethal. Was that a cold chill breezing through the room just now?

"I'm talking about toasted bread, of course. But stoat and toast sound quite similar. You served me that joke on a silver platter." Cyno took a moment to huff a chuckle under his breath, before walking off, ready to get a move on. He was on a mission, after all.

chongyun ducks when the fish is chucked at them. they turn to look over their shoulder just in time to see the miniature splash of the fish landing back in the water.

"wet dirt―" chongyun mocks, turning back to face ren. it's their inside joke. even though multiple people have been part of this conversation, this is a moment shared just between them, a moment chongyun will always look back on with fondness and even awe.

"i'll show you wet dirt," he continues. ducking into the water, chongyun scoops up a small handful of dirt in question, along with a good sized handful of water. proceeds to SPLASH ren. (there may or may not be a tiny fish mixed in with that splash.)

what  does  water  smell  like  —  ?  the  question  would  sound  like  complete  NONSENSE  in  any  other  context,  yet  the  wanderer's  eyes  widen  as  recognition  washes  over  him.  it's  too  little,  too  late  to  save  him  —  the  fingers  curled  around  his  wrist  are  akin  to  a  shackle.  he  just  barely  has  the  time  to  open  his  mouth  and  squawk  a  particularly  undignified,   ❝  CHONGYUN. ❞  before  the  exorcist  lunges  and  sends  them  both  careening  into  the  water.

ren  flails  around,  a  whirlwind  of  waterlogged  fabric  and  confused  limbs.  when  he  sits  up,  it  comes  with  a  veritable  waterfall  sloughing  off  his  kasa  —  and  an  irritating  thump,  thump,  thumping  on  his  head  has  him  realizing  he's  somehow  managed  to  scoop  up  a  fish  in  the  process.  like  his  hat  is  little  more  than  an  intricately  decorated  net.

❝  ... ❞  he  grabs  the  poor  creature  and  immediately  throws  it  at  chongyun's  face.  ❝  wet  dirt. ❞  dinner  is  served.