Whoopsies, Guess Im Falling In Love With A Sk!

Whoopsies, guess im falling in love with a sk! 🤷‍♀️

10000/10 would recommend this read 👌💕

serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: ~10k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: rough sex, manipulation, strangulation, blood, implied drugging, murder

SYNOPSIS: you walk into Seungmin’s life, and disrupt everything

DEITY INTRO

The smell of smoke reaches his nose, and the craving comes on so suddenly, and so strong…he hates this, not being able to control something so small. He doesn't have much control at all, if he thinks about it. He hasn't had any real control in years—just the illusion of it. The first chance Seungmin gets, he disappears into a convenience store, and he walks back out with a pack of cigarettes clenched in one hand. He bites down on a fresh book of matches as he bounces it against the heel of his palm, eyes still carefully scanning the streets as he unwraps the plastic and pops one between his lips.

The sound of the match against the striker strip is enough to calm his nerves, but the first slow drag quiets his mind and numbs the itch in his limbs. The part of his brain that doesn't shut up when it's time likes to smoke lately, it seems, so he listens. More of his illusion.

Just as he pulls in another lungful, you breeze past him, head down, eyes glued to your phone. Seungmin can see exactly what you're doing—looking at a map as you walk, probably a little lost, and you’re mumbling quietly. Scolding yourself, maybe, but taking your time and obviously trying to keep it together. He wonders just how lost you are, but he doesn't move right away…he’s smarter than that. That itch returns very quickly, despite the cigarette, and his legs shake a little with the anticipation of following behind. Lucky for him, you stop and duck under the awning for some shade, and probably to get your bearings.

He likes the way you look.

You feign confidence, and you really are doing a great job of fitting in and acting like you know where you are—where you need to go. If anyone else was nearby, they wouldn't even suspect you needed help. And you’re pretty. Seungmin thinks you probably don’t know that, not here, so out of your element. You are, though.

Just as he moves to approach you, you lift your gaze, and your eyes find his. Seungmin freezes for a moment, then slowly takes the cigarette from him lips. “Hello,” he smiles and turns away a little to blow out his smoke. “I’m sorry, I can…” he discards it, then turns back, hoping your eyes are still on him.

He was a little rushed this morning, his hair dryer broke, and he spilled an entire iced coffee on his way out the door. Going out today didn’t seem like the best idea, but he figured he would at least make the attempt, and try again tomorrow if he had to. Seungmin is very glad he tried today. You still look up at him with keen, hopeful eyes when he turns to face you again.

“…put this out.” He tries English—it’s the only western language he knows. “Do you need help reading your map?”

Still, you stare…silent. If you don’t speak English or Korean, he’s out of luck, and he’ll have to drag himself back home, alone, and crawl into bed until tomorrow.

“Yes…thank you”

He sighs internally, and smiles softly at you. Once again, his looks (and his fluent English) get him what he wants. Seungmin doubts you would have taken the help if that first look didn't get something moving in you. He could see it in your eyes. “Where are you headed? I might be more useful than that map.”

Still, you hesitate for a brief moment, “...my apartment. I took the bus, and I missed it coming back. But I think I’m almost there. I’m just a little anxious, and I’m being stupid…”

“No, you’re not. Have you been here long? In Seoul?”

“About a week”

“No, not stupid. What’s the address?”

/ / /

“Stay close, we can probably get the whole way across.” He looks back at you, and slows enough for you to catch up to his long strides. “No, maybe not,” he takes your wrist in his hand, and it’s unnecessary, because you stop with him. It’s a good start…the first touch. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you glance at him, and then to his hand wrapped around you, “I think I know where I’m at now.”

“You think?”

“I think”

“I’ll take you to your building. You don’t have to invite me up…promise.”

It’s another two blocks before you finally see it, and the sight of it is a relief. Seungmin can almost feel the tension leave your body as you approach it, but there’s a long moment of silence between you when you finally get there.

Eventually, you unfreeze yourself and speak,“thank you for your help…uh, what should I call you?”

“Thank you for letting me help. You can call me Seungmin.” He smiles shyly when he says his name.

“Seungmin, is it okay if do?”

“Do what?” He already knows what you’re getting at, but he cocks his head and bites his lip.

“Invite you up. I’m sure you have better things to do, though.”

Seungmin loves the flush in your cheeks when you ask. The nervous energy that left you returns, and it gets his blood pumping everywhere it needs to—his heartbeat jumps, and he hopes his cheeks pink up a little bit, too. “No, that’s been my best offer all day.” He knows he can’t do anything here, but this is also an unusual feeling—visiting the home of a potential victim. It's not necessary, and it's very personal...and it's a little bit awkward.

“This is cute.” Seungmin stands in one spot, and examines the tiny apartment. It’s simple, and still a little plain, but you’ve barely had time to settle. He can picture the twin size bed you’re sleeping on, and how the two of you would barely fit; the commotion you’d make…the mess. The thought sends a jolt of pleasure through him, and he feels himself getting hard as he watches you stare so intensely.

“What?” He smirks. You smile back, so Seungmin lets his grow a little wider.

“Do you want some coffee? You look like a coffee person.”

“I am, I would love some”

/ / /

“You’re a long way from home,” Seungmin says over the rim of his mug, casually scanning every part of you as he does—your bare feet shuffling on the area rug; your legs, easy to admire in the tight leggings you’re wearing; body sinking comfortably into the squishy couch. He sits up and turns himself toward you a little more. “May I ask why?”

“Work. But I think I’m very under-qualified for the position…I took it to get away from my old life, and my ex.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Bad breakup?”

“Bad enough…I’m sure things could’ve been worse”

If he can find out when the break-up happened, Seungmin can figure out just how vulnerable you still are. “If it was worth coming this far, I’m sure it was bad.” Reaching out right now and grabbing your throat would be so, so easy. It would be nothing; his hands would wrap perfectly around your delicate neck. He can almost feel the snap of your hyoid, your pulse as it speeds up; slows down; stops completely. Vulnerable, but still guarded—soft, sad eyes, and nervous fingers tapping against the mug, turned slightly away from him.

Still, when you look at him again, you light up a little. “My turn…what were you doing smoking outside a GS25 all alone this morning? I’m very glad you were there…just curious.”

“Oh…” Seungmin actually laughs at that—a genuine laugh. He wasn’t prepared for such a blunt question. “People watching, I guess. I like to observe.” He notices your eyes wondering over him, the same as he did to you, only you’re a lot little less subtle about it. “What is it?”

“What do you do for a living?”

A living. What does he do for a living? He doesn’t do anything except survive day to day within his careful, tedious routine. He’s a trust-fund baby, thank god. Seungmin can’t imagine having to work a day job, deal with the public, wear a mask every moment of the day just to get by.

“I make music…write, produce. Independently. Nothing major, but it pays the bills.” It’s not his usual lie, but it seems fitting for you. It’s not even a lie, because Seungmin does make music—music that has ever seen the light of day.

“You sing?”

Seungmin nods, puts on another shy smile for you. “Yeah, I do. Mostly for myself, though.” He’s not used to fielding so many personal questions so quickly, because by now, someone has their mouth on something. Or something in it. The thought gives him another twinge in his groin, and he almost whines along with his sigh.

Now is probably a good time to get more information, but his dick continues to distract him. “Uhm, what was your promotion? What do you do?” Not this information, but he has to start somewhere.

“Nothing very exciting. Customer relations for a cosmetics company. I don’t like it very much, but it pays well enough, and I’m here now.”

“Is that where you went this morning?” It’s almost too nosy, but he goes with it. “Sorry, that’s not really my business.”

“No, it’s okay. I was coming back from Dongguk University. I’m taking language classes."

He takes the opportunity to switch to Korean, “good…so you don’t speak any Korean?”

And all you can do is stare back, clueless. “I think I caught a word,” you laugh when he grins at you.

“I’m going to have so much fun with you”

An exchange of phone numbers, the promise of dinner, and Seungmin is on his way back home. Empty handed, yes, but he already has a plan unfolding in his mind. A few times before, he’s deliberately taken his time—did the cat and mouse thing, or more appropriately for him, a dog with a bone. It’s usually not by choice, though. He may have to find another in the meantime; something quick and easy to hold him over. Rushing things with you won't satisfy him.

“Wow, this is…great,” the girl turns and gives Seungmin a heavy, confident look. She only has one thing on her mind, but he’s alright with getting straight to the point. “How about the bedroom?” So why does the eagerness almost turn him off? It’s a stark contrast to what you just gave him, and to what anyone else ever gives him. The dates he picks up don’t want coffee and conversation.

There is no foreplay—not a single touch until his pants are undone and on the floor, but she goes for his shirt, and Seungmin grabs for her wandering hands.

“What’s wrong…self-conscious?” She slips one under and runs her fingertips across his ribs.

He has to tilt his head to the side to avoid her lips. “No, I’m not.”

“You are a little skinny, but that’s okay”

The gasp the girl makes when he grabs the side of her neck, the little bit of fear in her eyes, is what finally gets him completely hard. He squeezes, just enough to not be threatening, and she relaxes for a moment.

“Sorry…sorry, just teasing,” she smiles a little, and her eyes dart from the window, and then back to him.

“Get on your knees”

She does so without hesitation, but Seungmin turns and walks away before she has a chance to touch again. There wasn’t much prep for this, so he has to be careful, and he has to be quiet, so he stares absently into the drawer of his bedside table for a few long moments. Handcuffs could be helpful, but the gag might be even better. He opts for the handcuffs, and when the girl sees them dangling from his finger, she smiles. “Okay, I like kinky…are those for me?”

Seungmin nods, and very gently secures one of her wrists. The other end snaps around the bedpost. Now she reaches her free hand toward him and gets a handful of dick, and he lets her touch.

“Are you gonna be a tease now? Take these off.”

A hand comes down fast, and again she gasps as he tightens his grip around her throat. She grabs for him and claws at his skin, but it does nothing. His grip still tightens, even as her nails cut and a thin line of blood starts to form. Seungmin relaxes, and then lets go.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She coughs and pulls at the cuff, but it's not going anywhere. “Get this off of me. Now."

None of this is new for him, and most of the time, his jobs aren't easy. Last time, he was lucky. "No," Seungmin laughs and pulls his shirt over his head, but just as he's about to return to his drawer for something new, he hears his phone buzz in the pocket of his discarded jeans.

"Take these off…please"

"Not yet, relax"

"But you will? What are you gonna do? I'm sorry I teased you…please, you can do whatever you want, but—"

"But? I can do whatever I want, but what?"

The fear in her eyes is enough of an answer, but another buzz of his phone distracts her for the briefest moment. "Please let me go. We can just pretend this never happened.”

Seungmin goes for his phone this time, "no, I don’t do that," and stares at the number for a few seconds before recognizing it, because he didn't add you to his contacts. He's not even sure he should.

Hi! I just wanted to thank you again for being so kind. I haven't had any really nice interactions with anyone until I met you today. And there is a place a block way from me that I've been wanting to try since I got here, if you're still interested.

Seungmin doesn't catch himself grinning, but his guest does. "Good news?" She asks. "Look, this was just a date gone bad. I'm not into whatever kinky shit you're into.”

He's bored. To be honest, he's been bored since he got this girl back to the apartment, so this may not do the job as well as he was expecting—he’s already starting to get soft. But letting someone go? Seungmin doesn't do that. The phone gets tossed onto the bed as he makes his way back to his drawer, and this time, he knows what he needs. The girl gasps and screams as soon as she sees the glint of the blade against the lamplight—the gag definitly would have helped, but it's too late now. The neighbors are mosty likely at work, at least.

The rattle of the cuffs against the bedpost is annoying, and Seungmin thinks for a moment that it might actually break. "You need to relax, and you need to be quiet. This…" he gestures to her antics, "this is not helping either of us."

"Fuck you, you're gonna burn in hell"

That's the last thing she says. There is one more reach, and one more scratch of her nails (right across his cheek), but she gives in as soon as the knife slides neatly between her ribs. One last hitch in her throat, one last exhale, and the light fades from her eyes. Exactly what he needed.

"I know"

/ / /

I am still interested. I wonder if we're thinking of the same place.

He sends that off and thinks, but the first text is more of a challenge to acknowledge.

I'm glad I could be your first.

It doesn't sound quite right to him, but maybe that's a good thing. He sends that, too.

Now he looks to the lifeless body on his floor. The blood has soaked through her clothes, and onto the area rug where she was kneeling. Seungmin suddenly remembers why he hates doing things this way. Okay, no blood for a while, he thinks as he begins to conceal the body. He has a long day ahead of him now.

The week passes slowly, and Seungmin spends it hidden away in his bedroom. He wrote a little, and he forced himself to sing last night, but aside from that, he's just existed beneath the warmth of his blankets. One more text came from you a few days ago, but he hasn't bothered looking at it yet. Ignoring his phone has been a test for himself, and he has done pretty well at not thinking about what you said.

That can't last forever, though. Seungmin doesn't think you're going to lose interest that easily. He knows you won't. And besides, he's hungry. It's time to get out of bed.

I'm free all day on Thursday

Fuck, today is Thursday. Seungmin sits up in bed and stares at the screen, thinks…wonders if chasing you will be worth it in the end. What if he spends all of this time on you, and it doesn’t fill the need he’s expecting it to? What if it’s just like the last one? He starts to type.

I am free today. I'm sorry I took so long to reply. I understand if you made other plans.

No, it can’t be as bad as that one.

Lunch. Maybe a walk, if it's not to cold for you. Back to the apartment. It's not time, though. The feeling hasn't quite returned yet, and it won't feel right if he does this now. Maybe today isn't the day.

I'm still free. Let me know when!

But lunch wouldn't hurt. Seungmin needs you here, in this apartment, if he's going to do this right. He needs you comfortable with him.

I can get dressed and head to your building. Half an hour? Meet me outside.

/ / /

You dressed up for him. He's still a half a block away, and you’re turned in the opposite direction, but he can tell that you put some thought and effort into your outfit. Seungmin looks the same as he typically does; black jeans, black sneakers, a Carhartt jacket over a loose fitting t-shirt. Not much effort, really, but…

"Hi!" You examine him, not so subtly, starting from his dark parted hair, all the way down his long, slender legs. The smile on your face grows when you meet his eyes again. "How was your walk?"

Now it's beginning to feel like a date, and it’s very obvious that you’re attracted to him. There’s no doubt you would’ve looked at him the same had he arrived in the sweatpants he had on in bed this morning. "Very nice. How was the trip from your apartment?"

Seungmin gets a genuine laugh out of you. “It was great, I was very excited to get down here and see you.”

Excited to see him. Okay. Seungmin is used to the attention, but he isn’t as used to the cute, innocent flirting. He sees your cheeks blush before you drop your gaze.

“You lead the way”

He nods, and brushes by you very gently.

Lunch is perfectly normal; a real date. Seungmin learns a little more about you, and you learn a few more exaggerated, somewhat true things about him. The breakup between you and your ex was recent—only six weeks ago. The move was actually the catalyst for ending things. You confessed to him that you’re still unsure if it was the right thing to do, but you are beginning to like living in Seoul already. Maybe because of him. You thanked him again for his help, so Seungmin starts to wonder if simple kindness isn’t something you’re used to. Getting it from him seems a little ironic.

“Would you like to take a walk?” The second part of his plan already seems to be in motion, because you walked right by your building without even realizing. “There’s a nice park I like to visit about a half a mile that way, and a cafe a little closer, actually.”

“Either sounds good"

“Or, my apartment is closer than both. And I have a very nice coffee bar. And a regular bar, if you prefer.”

He hears your soft laugh, and he can picture you blushing again. A no wouldn’t surprise him, though—going straight to his apartment was beginning to feel like a stretch, but he has to ask. After all, you did invite him up fifteen minutes into knowing him.

"Are you gonna make me a homeade latte?"

"Whatever you desire"

/ / /

Seungmin waits for you to give him a surprised look as soon as he leads you through his front door, just like everyone else does, but you don’t. You’re quiet as you take your shoes off and look around, and you don’t make a sound until he speaks up.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get the espresso machine going.”

“You must do good work”

“I wouldn’t say that. My dad left me a lot when he died, so I can’t take any credit for it.” Why did he say that? He had no reason to tell the truth, and yet, it slipped right out.

Now you do give him a look—a sad, apologetic one. “Well, I’m sure you still do good work.”

Seungmin keeps his mouth shut as he flips a switch and grinds the coffee beans. You don’t say anything else, but he watches you watching him carefully from the corner of his eye as he works. He makes one for himself, too, and as he walks to join you, a reflection on the hardwood makes him stop in his tracks. A small, silver earring is shining up at him, and he silently scolds himself for his sloppy cleanup. How did he miss that all week? He did stay in bed for most of that time, but he has never, not once, left something behind. It looks clean, at least...no blood.

“What’s wrong?” You look to where he’s looking, and you see whatever has him frozen. A small silver hoop earring.

“Uh, nothing…” he sets both coffees down on the table and tries to ignore it, but he can’t. Besides, you’ve seen it, and he can’t just leave it there. Seungmin wonders if he left something even more damning in the apartment as he bends to pick it up.

“One of your dates lost something?” You say it casually…just an observation, “I assume you have a lot of them coming and going.” But Seungmin looks ready to defend himself.

“No…no, I don’t. Not that often, really.” He slips it into his pocket. “How is your drink. I can make another if it’s not quite right.”

“It looks good,” you pick it up and hold it under your nose, “smells good,” and take a slow, careful sip. It’s hot, but just the right amount of hot. “It’s very good, thank you.”

He sits down, and his knee grazes against yours. You hold still and watch his hand run down his thigh, follow his arm up to his shoulder—to his neck, where his loose t-shirt reveals some collarbone, soft and tan. Seungmin is staring right through you, and he doesn't seem to realize it. The movement of his eyes is hypnotizing, and they're so big and dark, you feel like they could swallow you whole.

Just when you think he's going to reach for his coffee, his hand lifts toward you, and everything moves in slow motion—Seungmin's tongue pokes out to wet his lips, he bites down on it a little…and his fingertips just barely graze the far side of your neck.

You shake free of your trance and move back.

"Sorry"

"It's alright," you take another long sip of your coffee and avoid his gaze, but you can feel him staring at you. Hard. You look around his big, well decorated apartment and suddenly wonder how you ended up here with a man you hardly know, inches from him, his eyes eating away at you.

He's not sure why he went for that touch. Curiousity, maybe. Your skin looks soft, it is soft, and though he has no overwhelming urges at the moment, he still wants to to know how your skin feels squeezed against his palms, and pinched between his fingers. The image gives him a pleasant twinge in his stomach, and he doesn't even think about the possibility of his dick growing in his jeans right here and now. Today, nothing will happen, and if he scares you off now, he’ll never get you here alone again. It’s not a risk worth taking.

“I am…please forgive me. I don’t know why I did that. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t.” It’s a little bit of a lie, but he seems sincere. It’s easier to relax and take a deep breath now that he’s up and making a little bit of distance between you. Still, you admire him from this angle—his long, slender legs, perfect in proportion to the rest of him. Broad shoulders, and a strong looking back that you can see when the light hits his white t-shirt just right.

His face is soft, his jaw is strong, and his skin pretty, but not quite perfect. Seungmin looks like a piece of art come to life, and he’s here with to you. Talking to you. Staring at you. Reaching out to touch you.

There has to be something wrong with him.

“Are you okay?”

“Hm? Yes, I’m okay”

“I asked if you wanted to see the balcony”

There is no doubt he caught you admiring him. The grin on his face warms your cheeks…it warms your entire body. “Yeah, sure”

The balcony is in his bedroom.

Very cautiously, you walk through the doorway, but you’re not sure why you’re still on edge. So far, Seungmin has been sweet and thoughtful…maybe a little odd, but not so odd that it should concern you. Regardless of how handsome he is, maybe he really doesn’t go on many dates, or even get out of this apartment very often…his room is dark and moody, maybe more of a reflection of his mind than anything else in the apartment. Everything looks expensive—the high windows, the lighting, the music equipment in the corner. His bed is oversized and covered in soft pillows, and an old stuffed dog sits right in the middle. It looks like it’s seen better days. Seungmin doesn’t stop to show you around, though. He heads straight for the balcony.

“You’re not afraid of heights?”

You shake your head.

“Good. It’s a nice view.”

It is a nice view, because he’s almost at the very top. The wind gusts a few times as you stand there, and the air is chilly, but Seungmin stands to your side and blocks most of it. His eyes burn into you again, and you’re starting to like it.

“I should probably go.” Another lie. There is no reason to leave, and you don’t want to, but if you do stay, something will certainly happen.

“Oh, of course…I can call a ride for you”

And you want something to happen. Being in his room, within falling distance of his bed, is driving you a little bit crazy. His big, soft eyes are driving you crazy. But you barely know him, and you’ve barely settled into your new life. Feeling vulnerable isn’t new, but you’re extra vulnerable right now, and you know what can happen when you feel that way.

/ / /

Someone else will come along, and he’ll be fine. Eventually, he’ll come across another perfect one, and when he does, he won’t drag his feet and fuck things up. You were right here, inches from him…more than within reach, and Seungmin is not used to failing at getting his way. Maybe he missed something. Seungmin isn’t completely aloof when it comes to emotions and reading them on people, but he doesn’t typically bother with it, and he isn’t the best at it.

Fortunately, he doesn't have to dwell on it too long. You send him a text right before he begins to doze off that night...

Thank you for lunch today, and the walk…and coffee. Sorry I ended everything so quickly, it was nothing personal. I would like to see you again.

Okay, everything is fine. Just a little overreaction on his part. He just…scared you off? Came on a little too strong with the neck touch, more than likely. It didn't seem like much, but you're obviously a little reticent.

I would like to see you again

No reply to that, but a heart pops up next to his message after it sends.

He drags himself to the other end of the street, but he's tired. Sleep hasn't come easily the past few days, and the nightmares that come and go have returned…the same ones—the old shed, the soft, rain soaked ground, and the earth covering his father's hands when he reaches out for Seungmin. There's more, so much more, but it always comes in pieces. Maybe tonight he'll get another piece.

For now he focuses on the woman entering the bar, and he's certain he's going to lose her in there on a busy Saturday night. The urges have returned, and the sleepless nights haven't made things any easier, so he has to do something, and this half-hearted chase helps a litte bit. You haven't said a word since Thursday, and if you don't by tomorrow morning, he might just come and find you himself. If that's the case, he doesn't even need to pursue this one—he can go back home, take a hot shower, make a strong drink, and finish his nightmare.

“Seungmin?”

His heart jumps into his throat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you”

It’s you. It’s your soft, lilting voice, and your pleasant accent. He turns and your eyes connect, but his heart still continues to pound. “Hi, what are doing so far from home?” Very far. He ventured a little further out of his comfort zone this time around. Running into you this far from home can't be a coincidence, even if Seungmin doesn't believe in things like that.

“You first”

“Oh, uh…trying to be social, I guess”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me the truth.” You smile at his smirk. “A few of my classmates dragged me along, but I’m over it already. I don’t usually stay up this late.”

“I can ride home with you, if you’d like. Unless I can convince you to have a drink with me first.”

You think about it, but not for very long. Part of you wants to make up for last time, and for struggling to text him back. “Yes to both. Can we try a different bar?” The other part wants to remain strong.

“Of course, anything you want”

“Your bar?”

But the former part is bigger.

It's a quiet ride back to his place, but it's not an awkward quiet. Seungmin is relaxed, body turned sightly toward you, and you can tell he's watching every subtle movement you make; the fidgeting of your fingers, and the bounce of your knee, the occasional shift to adjust yourself and pull at your sweater. You can't quite figure out what he seems to see in you, and maybe that's part of your hesitation—being a clueless foreigner with a native drinking up every little thing, emphasis on little, that you have to you offer.

He walks ahead of you as you head for the elevator, and it's another opportunity to look at him in the harsh light. The leather jacket he's wearing is a bit big, but it doesn't hide the broadness of his shoulders. Just as you move your eyes down, he begins to take it off and reveal even more. His muscles move delicately beneath the black t-shirt as it slides down his arms, this time a more form-fitting one, tucked loosely into his black jeans. Tiny waist, narrow hips, but just enough ass to grab.

The elevator opens and he turns to you, "don't worry, I won’t keep you up too late."

When you arrived, he did all of the things guy's don't actually do on your dates: pay for the ride, open the door, hold a hand out for you. It was a little bit cheesy, but you're not going to complain about his good manners.

"Do you mind if I change? I can smell the smoke on me."

You shake your head at him, make yourself comfortable on the couch, and listen carefully as he moves around in his bedroom…the slide of a drawer, a door softly opening and closing. He's not in there long, and when he comes out, he looks like a different person.

Seungmin’s face is so striking, and it’s like that no matter what he does to his hair, but he definitely combed everything back with his fingers while he changed. It’s parted just off to the side and pushed away from his eyes, save for a few lose strands, and his eyes are so pretty and intense. The outfit is completely different—a loose fitting t-shirt, a thin white one this time, and sweatpants. It looks so out of place, because the three times you’ve seen him, he was dressed a little more than casual.

A silver Chanel necklace still hangs around his neck, and you wonder if he just forgot about it. “Better?” You stand and take a step toward him, he moves a little closer, but heads toward his small, but elaborate bar.

“Yeah,” he smiles and beckons you . “What do you like to drink?”

“What do you think I like?”

“Oh…good question, let me think,” he very patiently scans over his selection…

Ice in the shaker, cherry soju, coconut vodka—he gives it a shake, never breaking eye contact until he has to grab a glass and pour—he stops and looks around, thinks, then grabs another bottle from under the bar. As soon as he twists the cap off, the sweet smell hits you. Seungmin tops it off with cream soda, and drops in a cherry before sliding it toward you. Then he pours some for himself, minus the soda.

“Is this me as a cocktail?”

He sips his, and you can hear a little laugh from behind the glass. “First impression? Yeah. Is it good?”

“It’s good, it’s sweet…goes down easy”

“Oh, I hope so”

The whole room warms. You feel like you’re on fire. You know you’re blushing, and you might even be grinning like an idiot, but you can’t pull yourself away from his stare. Seungmin bites down on his bottom lip and a smirk slowly tugs at his mouth, and it’s now that you notice how plump and red his lips are. His cheeks turn a little pink, too.

All you can do is clear your throat and shift in the bar stool, but thankfully, Seungmin still has the reigns. He finishes his drink in one swift movement, and you take one more sip as he rounds the bar. The warmth of his hand on your thigh, you do feel that, but everything else is either numb or pulsing with nervous excitement. He spins you to face him, but his hand doesn’t move—it squeezes as he leans in and whispers in your ear.

“Stop fighting against it…just…” he sighs, and it turns to a soft moan. You feel like you could melt right out of this stool and onto the floor. “Don’t make me beg.”

Fuck, your mind went from nothing to everything you want him to do to you, and everything you’ve been wanting to do to him. But you haven’t done anything yet, and you don’t have to. Seungmin hasn’t come off as that type, but god…the way he’s looking at you and gripping your leg. He gently pushes your thighs apart until he can put himself between them, and your eyes drop to the growing bulge in his sweatpants.

“Seungmin…uh, fuck…um”

“What? Look at me. Eyes up here.”

The ease at which he makes you listen is surprising. He has you now. The smoke-tinged smell of his skin, the vanilla of his cologne, and the sweet smell of booze on his lips. His eyes soften, and you can’t even begin to imagine resisting that look—from here you can see the little bit of black eyeliner starting to smudge. You don’t even feel yourself reach up and wipe your thumb at the corner of his eye, not until he smiles and wraps his fingers around your wrist.

“I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you what you need.”

No answer will come out, so you squeeze your thighs and hope he can read the look in your eyes. He does. Seungmin grabs your hips and pulls your body into his, lifts you, and doesn’t hesitate once he has you in his arms. He turns and takes you right into the bedroom, and the feeling of being outside of your body is intense. You can feel your legs wrapped tight around his hips, and your arms clinging to his shoulders…you can hear his soft grunts as he keeps you steady against him. He pulls you close right before he drops you, and you get a taste of his skin before you hit the bed.

“Keep your eyes on me”

He pulls his shirt over his head, and you study every inch of him while you can. A long, lean torso—his muscles underneath flex with every shallow breath; his bare shoulders—you count every freckle as your eyes move down his arms; his hands grab his waistband and pull, and his cock bounces out, bigger than anything you’ve taken before, and you’re not even sure he’s fully hard yet.

Seungmin laughs at your reaction. “I’m usually a little more subtle…but,” he stops and looks you over, and his voice turns so sweet, “take something off for me. Please.” He’s never this needy, and he doesn’t usually move so fast, but he’s aching for it. Nine days of teasing him was far too long. “Yeah?,” he purrs as you sit up and slide out of your oversized sweatshirt. “Much better….” He strokes himself as he climbs onto the bed.

As soon as your tank top makes it over your head, and your breasts bounce free, you feel your nipples harden even more. Seungmin groans like a horny teenager. “Good…lie back for me.”

The steadiness of his hands is what you expect from him, though. You know he’s experienced, and you know he wants all the control. He unbuttons the skirt and pulls, leaving you in nothing but your panties—you wore cute ones, the lacy ones, just because. Of course you weren’t expecting to get anything tonight, but you’re so glad you did when you see Seungmin smiling at them…but then he snaps out of his trance.

Fuck, he mumbles and moves back. You watch him hop off the bed, and take another chance to admire his naked body, but he doesn't take long getting into his drawer, grabbing something, and returning to you. The condom is out and on him before you even realize what he was doing, and your panties are gripped and pulled down.

"Open up for me," he coaxes your shy legs apart until he has an eyeful of your throbbing, swollen cunt—good—and his tongue slides hungrily into you, making you gasp. "Soaking wet for me already?" Seungmin looks at you for an answer.

You nod and cautiously run your fingers through his hair, and he leans into it before getting back to work, but he just teases you. Licking and sucking just enough to make your hips move against him for more. You relax and enjoy it while you look around the dark room. The curtains are pulled shut, but you can see a little slice of city through the balcony's sliding door. The built-in shelves in the corner are over flowing with books, records, little trinkets you can't quite make out. There’s a bouquet of fresh purple flowers poking out just enough to see. You reach up and slide your hand across a silky pillow, and your fngers close around it.

"Oh…right there," you whine and take another fistful of hair. "Seungmin, god."

He laughs again, takes your words to heart, and doesn't hold back.

Your eyes squeeze shut, and you try hard to keep your body relaxed as he works, but all you want to do is thrust into him, make more fiction…finish…come hard. Seungmin moans and the vibration runs through you.

"Fuck”

He stops, and lifts his mouth off of you completely…

"No…please"

…and he laughs. "Not yet, not yet."

"So mean," you whimper, "why…"

You force your legs closed, but Seungmin doesn't like that. He grabs each knee and spreads you open again, and he slides himself between your thighs until his cock grazes your sensitive clit.

“Relax…” he comes down and bites the skin on your hip.

“I am,” you lie back and look to your left this time; at the desk, the instruments, everything he uses for work. The bedside table is bare except for a lamp, a pair of glasses you’ve never seen him in, and a silver bracelet…it matches the necklace you feel tickling you as he moves his lips up your body. “I am.” Your fingers tangle in his hair as he gets closer and closer to your throat, your neck. He bites down gently, and the pressure as he pushes himself in is so much more than you prepared for. He doesn’t tease—but he does at least take his time. After a few patient movements, he pushes in, and you whine in pain as he moans in pleasure, pulls out, laughs softly as he pushes in. Again and again.

“Fuck, you feel good”

“Slower…slow down,” your own voice echoes in your head, and you don’t feel like you’re all there. But you watched him make your drink, and he didn’t put anything in it. It’s stupid, but maybe it’s just him, and this room.

“Slow down? Oh, I’m hurting you.” He pushes in and stops, “I don’t wanna hurt you, but...you look so good stretched around my cock,” and pulls out carefully, “so wet.”

“You’re not hurting me…”

“I am”

It takes so much restraint, but Seungmin listens to you, and he’s patient as he pumps in and out. Every few strokes, he moves a little faster, and he knows he finally finds a good pace when you whine for him and squeeze his arms.

“Yeah, you like that?” He whispers and you nod, “you take it so well, fuck.”

His gentle affirmations keep you wet, and the sound you make together, the mess of arousal dripping out of you as he works—Seungmin pushes your thighs apart and takes in every little detail.

It does hurt, and it feels so good at the same time. “Please…”

The soft movements of your breasts distract him, and he takes them in his hands and squeezes. The look on his face is dazed, so full of pleasure. So lost.

“…don’t stop.”

"No." He’s not stopping anytime soon, not when it feels this good. “No, I’m not,” Seungmin speeds up, "I'm gonna break you in two," and slams hard into you, and no, he doesn’t stop, even when you cry out in pain. One hand falls down on your mouth, and the other pushes your shoulder into the bed, making you scream out again, but it’s muffled by his palm.

Your hands jump up and squeezes his forearm, and the other scratches at the hand covering your mouth. You can still breathe through your nose, but just barely. Seungmin doesn’t relax, and he doesn’t let up when you grab his side and dig in. Everything goes numb, but your skin prickles with goosebumps. You’re outside of your body again, looking down at the struggle, and the ceaseless pounding of his hips against yours. Every move he makes knocks even more air out of your lungs. Maybe if he comes, he’ll stop, or at least loosen his hand and let more air into your lungs. Time slows down, and lights pop up in your vision. You’re getting dizzy, and your heart was threatening to explode before he attempted to stifle your moans. Your chest starts to burn as you exhaust yourself.

There’s nothing you can do. Seungmin is stronger than he looks. Fingers squeeze into his arms one last time before the feeling disappears, and you think he finishes just as you let the rest of your body relax. Sleeping, that’s what this feels like. Falling asleep…feeling so tired you can’t possibly keep your eyes open any longer. Something in you needs to say his name one last time when the pressure of his hand is finally gone, but so are you.

/ / /

Seungmin can barely hold his body up, because he can’t remember the last time sex felt that good; the last time he came so hard. It takes a moment for enough blood to return to his brain, and for the post-orgasm bliss to subside enough that he can speak, but when he does, he finally realizes how silent you are.

“Hey, sweetheart…look at me,” he runs a soft thumb across your brow, and wipes away a stray tear running down your temple. Seungmin freezes, and the air catches in his throat. “Open your eyes,” he whispers, taps your pink cheek, and caresses it with a softness he isn’t used to giving out. Nothing happens. He pulls at your chin until your lips part to listen for the movement of air. Still nothing. “Fuck.” The shakiness of his voice surprises him. He climbs off of you and collapses onto his pillows, but his eyes don’t leave your still body. “I didn’t. You fucking idiot, you didn’t…” he’s up again and walking on unsteady legs, still weak from the exertion. Back in his sweatpants, Seungmin climbs onto the bed again and straddles your waist. Your cheeks are still flushed, and your lips, also still very alive looking, stay ever so slightly parted. Still, no air passes through them. He knows his own strength, and he prides himself on his control, but sometimes he does lose himself in the moment. But he kept his hands away from your neck. He very specifically forced that on himself, because this wasn’t the plan tonight.

“Hey,” he moves a piece of hair away from your damp forehead, places his lips against yours for the very first time, and he fills your lungs with air. Once…twice. Nothing. He tries one more time, and after, kisses you softly before returning to his spot on his pillows. The puppy plush falls onto his lap, and he grabs it, “you see that, Daengmo?” he says, and points its face toward you, “I still can’t do anything right.”

The first gasp for air feels like nothing—a useless, struggling breath like you’re still trapped underwater, but your eyes somehow open and see nothing but a blue tinted darkness. Hands clench something soft and slick…silky. Still corporeal after death, that’s the only thought you can create. The second breath fills your lungs and you cough it out, hard. So hard you sit up, and he’s there, holding your face, whispering your name. You try to push back, but you don’t think you actually move. Seungmin’s grip tightens on your shoulder, and he lets you fall back on the bed.

“Stay awake for me,” he says.

“No…no, stop”

“I’m not going to hurt you…I promise”

“Seung—” you feel yourself slipping again, and then his hand is on your bare chest, sliding up and down your sternum. It feels good, and you finally feel like you might be alive. “Seungmin?”

“I’m sorry”

And then you’re truly awake. The memory hits you suddenly—the hand caressing you is the same one that was clamped across your mouth. The other pinned you down onto the bed, and you can feel the sore spot where it's going to bruise. You somehow find the strength to move your arms and pull yourself away, but the burning of your thighs, and the leftover pain from the sex makes you shake and collapse.

Seungmin watches quietly as you scramble back up and gather your discarded clothes.

“You need to lay down. Please, get under the covers and get warm.” He finds your sweater, and holds it hostage. “I know I scared you, I'm—"

“Scared me?” Somehow, you manage to find and slip back into your underwear and tank top, but your skirt is nowhere. Why are you even looking for your clothes? You should have been up and running for the door, but your mind is nothing but static.

“No…I mean, what just happened is not what I intended. I lost myself.”

Finally, you go for the door, clothes or no clothes but it’s, unsurprisingly, locked. That’s an unbreakable habit of Seungmin’s. “Please let me go…please.” As much as you want to cry, nothing happens—but your throat tightens and it’s hard to breathe again, so you do the only thing you have left in you—collapse onto the floor and wait. "This can't be happening, not to me...no, everything felt right," you say to yourself, to the door.

“I can't let you leave, I'm sorry.” He hears himself speak so softly, and it's as if it's coming from someone else, from somewhere else…not him. “You shouldn’t even be here right now. What’s wrong with me?” He mumbles the last part to himself, but it comes out louder than he intends.

You stare wide-eyed at nothing, forehead against the door, breathing deeply as you do everything you can to not have a full-blown panic attack. The adrenaline is quickly running out. But you hear the rustle of blankets and sheets, and then you sense him getting closer. His fingers close around your shoulders, very cautiously, and he pulls you against his chest.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay? And then I’m going to take you to the bed. That's all."

If there’s something you can do to save yourself, you can’t seem to think of it, so you give in and let him put his arms around you. And he does exactly what he says—places you gently in the spot he prepared a moment ago, and then pulls the blankets over you. He moves back a little bit, and stares. The strong, sweet scent of him is all around you now, but you manage to keep your eyes closed and off of him.

“I’ll be right back, I’ll get you some water”

They remain closed until you hear the lock, the door, and then him locking it again from the outside. He won’t be gone long. You’re up and scanning the floor again, trying to remember if you had your phone in your pocket. No…you left it on the bar, right next to your empty glass. The balcony…you have no clue what you expect to find out here, but you go out and look left, and then right. And then 25 stories down. The closet. It's spacious and neat; tshirts, jackets, shoes. The black and white windbreaker he was wearing when you first met him briefly catches your eye, but you close it quietly and head for his bedside table. You heard him slide the drawer open and shut right before he walked out. Maybe there's something in there. “Oh…” The inside of it is neat and organized, just like everything else, so you get to see exactly what’s in there with one quick glance: a small knife, concealed in a black sheath, a few small syringes pre-filled with a milky liquid, handcuffs, nylon rope, a gag…"what the fuck"…lubrication, and several more condoms. “This can’t be happening.” A moment later, the lock clicks again, and without thinking, you grab the knife, quietly close the drawer, and climb back under the covers.

There's a bottle of water under his arm, and a mug in his hand. "I am going to drink some of this so you know I didn't put anything in it…and then I would like you to finish it," He takes a long sip before handing it to you, "The water bottle is unopened, don't worry."

Something is different about him. As soon as you woke up, something felt not quite the same. Even his voice, which was so serious, and a little bit solemn before, seems lighter and higher. You stare into the mug and take a deep breath, smelling the chamomile, the spearmint, and the orange. Seungmin finished nearly half of it.

"I'll take another drink," he holds his hand out for it.

"No…" you sip it very cautiously, and then take a longer drink. The taste and the warmth does help, and you finally take a full, deep breath. Seungmin rounds the bed as you sip, and you watch him carefully. If he opens that drawer again, he'll know you have the knife…and unlucky for you, that's exactly what he does. Maybe he heard you. Maybe he can just read it on you.

But he's quiet as he looks, and his expression doesn't change. He just closes it again and sits at the edge of the bed, naked back facing you. You find yourself admiring him again…his neck, his shoulders…stupid. He slides back and relaxes against the pillows, but he keeps a good distance. The bed is big enough for that.

"You have my knife?"

The way he asks isn't accusing. It isn't threatening. It isn't even rude. He asks as if it's just the next part of the conversation. When you don't answer, you see him nod his head from the corner of your eye.

"If it makes you feel safer, you can hold onto it. If you want to use it, I probably won't try to stop you."

"How long are you going to keep me locked in here?"

"I'm not going to let you go home alone in your state, not this late. You can leave in the morning."

"You're lying"

Seungmin sighs and turns on his side, and he looks at you—you look at him directly for the first time since coming back, but you're both silent. Just like his voice, his gaze is softer, and less intense. It’s also full of confusion, like he doesn’t know what to make of you; as if he’s wondering why you’re in his bed right now. His eyes start to close. At the same time, your eyes grow heavy, and it feels just like before. It feels like you can't possibly win against the sleep, and your thoughts wander as you drift; now you'll die, no more waking up.

The sun coming in through the balcony window warms the room. The light slices the bed right in half, and when you open your eyes, the first thing you see is his sleep tangled body—the legs of his sweatpants are pushed up almost to his knees, and his skin glows in the sunlight. He's sound asleep on his stomach for a few more moments, but then he mumbles something that you can't quite make out. A groan, but it's not a good groan. It isn't until right this second that you remember the situation you somehow ended up in. Locked in with him…whatever he is…a murderer? The drawer screams experience, and that experience screams serial killer, but last night didn't seem like an experienced killer. You suppose not every time can be perfect.

What are you even thinking? You pull the covers away and move to sit up, and it's then that you feel the knife, still tucked safely beneath the pillow. So Seungmin didn't sneak over as you slept to retrieve it, because you assume he actually did put something in your tea—something he himself also drank. Both of you fell asleep together, and now you have to wait for him to wake, and hope he meant what he said a few hours ago. No, you idiot. Where did he put the key? It's probably in the pocket of his sweatpants, so you move closer to him as carefully and as quietly as possible.

He doesn't stir. You stare down at his sleeping face as you slip your fingers into his pocket, and again, you admire him—the lips you never got to kiss, soft and pouty. His cheeks, his nose, all perfect and screaming to be touched. Seungmin must hear your thoughts, because his eyes open to you, and his hand clamps down on your wrist. Ice runs through your veins and your stomach drops, but instead of pulling away and retreating to the other side of the bed, you lean forward and press your lips to his, because…you don't know why. But Seungmin kisses back, and he means it—every nibble and lick, every soft moan coming from deep in his chest. You return the intensity, and something about his kiss feels good, but still…

“Oh…right,” Seungmin licks his lip and keeps his chin high, because he knows exactly how sharp his knife is. It grazes his throat, and your shaking hand doesn’t do much to relax him. “How could I forget?”

“Where’s the key?”

“I told you I’d let you leave, I meant it”

“Give me the key.” Now, of course, you can cry. Tears stream down your cheeks, and your hand shakes even more.

“Okay…okay,” he digs in the pocket you were going for, pulls out a leather keychain, and one gold key hangs from it. “Please don’t cry.”

You snatch it, but keep the knife against him until you’re too far away to reach. He doesn’t get up when you do. He doesn’t move when you grab the clothes you finally find on the floor, try the key, and sigh with relief when it works. It’s possible that he finally moves when the door shuts behind you, but you’re dressed and gone before you have a chance to find out.

Hello, Its me Gem again ✧⭑๋ It's been a whirlwind of a few months watching my fic get notes. I really had no idea it would take off like that and get so much traction! I really appreciate all the love ♡⋆ I have a few fic ideas I've been sitting on trying to get the momentum to write, however life has been incredibly busy. Here is a few:

1) A continuation of Are You Sure? set farther into the future. I wonder what reader and Minho's relationship looks like after a year? Are they doing okay? Are they living together? 2) One shot based off of Minho crushing garlic. Featuring a bratty reader, established relationship, dom/sub antics, having fun in the kitchen. Basically all smut, lol. Here is a snippet of what I have written for that:

3) Friends to lovers, Bang Chan and reader. I think it would be fun to create a new fresh story of how I think Chan would be in that situation. I haven't decided the complete storyline but I have written some interactions. I'm not sure when these will come out but I hope you guys enjoy when the time comes for me to post them. If you have any thoughts or ideas to send to me that you think would fit my writing style, I encourage you to send them my way! I'm also not used to writing or posting on tumblr so I apologize if my posts don't look as fun or special. I'll do my best to work on it! Thanks so much for enjoying my fic! I hope I can continue to provide you with some more fun stories ꨄ︎

& if you haven't read my first fic yet here is a link:

Tumblr

Are You Sure?

Hello, the name is Gem ✧⭑๋ This is the first fic I have ever written, and I have been sitting on it for a few months entirely too nervous t

Crying, (s)creaming, begging for more 🙏

the skz house: ch 20

a/n: thank you @bahablastplz for editing! i am so excited to get this chapter out to you guys. i hope you enjoy it! its quite long, i don't normally add a word count, but i should warn you before you get started haha

wc: 10,370

[ read chapter 19 here ]

Chapter 20: Of Father's & Basements

You follow Changbin up the stairs in autopilot mode, your body moving one foot after the other without you even thinking about it. Your mind is stuck on what’s happening on the first floor. Why would his father show up like this? Why hadn’t anyone warned you guys before you got on the plane? He didn’t appear at the house, in the country, out of nowhere…someone had to of known he was coming. They shouldn’t have blindsided Chan like that.

“No, I don’t need any help, y/n. I’ve got it,” Changbin attempts to joke.

You blink and refocus on him in front of you. His arms are tense and shaking from the weight of yours and Chan’s suitcases.

“Sorry,” you murmur as he puts them on the ground at the third floor.

He takes in your expression as he raises the handles on the suitcases. He doesn’t say anything further about it as he starts pushing them towards Chan’s door. You trail behind him again.

“Bin?” you call to him when he stops at the door. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not really sure.” he replies, turning to face you.  

“But you have some idea, don’t you?”

You watch his face carefully. He’s typically always smiling or joking about something but right now there’s not a trace of either.

“Is his family alright? No one’s hurt?” you continue.

“Yeah, they’re fine,” he reassures you.

You feel some relief at that, but it’s almost immediately replaced by a sinking feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. If his family is alright and his dad still showed up here, two days after Christmas…

You think back to Chan’s behavior on the flight heading to Miami and after speaking with his family on the phone Christmas Eve. He knew something was wrong, even then. Whatever it was, though, he clearly hadn’t expected his father to show up because of it. You don’t want to believe it has anything to do with you, but your gut instinct is telling you otherwise.

“Changbin,” you say, pleading to him with your eyes on the brink of tears. You don’t want to think that you’re the cause of all this. If you hadn’t been so persistent in getting Chan to break down his walls, maybe this wouldn’t be happening right now. You wouldn’t have even asked him to come on the trip, he would have gone home and wouldn’t be facing the wrath of his father two stories below you.  

“It’s not my place to say anything. I’m sorry,” he says sincerely.

With his words, you’re reminded of your role in this house. As close as you may have gotten to every one of the members, you are still an outsider. There are certain things you don’t have the privilege of knowing.

Changbin opens the door to Chan’s room and pushes the luggage inside. You walk past him and enter; he closes the door and leaves you alone inside. You resist the urge to crumble on the floor and instead sit on the edge of Chan’s bed. You’ll wait for him to come up and then you can get some answers, you can make sure he’s okay.

Some time passes and he doesn’t come up. When you re-emerge from the room and go back downstairs to find him, you’re informed he’s left the house with his father. You wonder how long they’ve been gone and why he didn’t text you to let you know.

You already know why he didn’t. It’s none of your business. You can’t forget that.

Chan doesn’t come back at all that night.

It’s Wednesday, and even though neither Hyunjin nor Chan are home you still stick to the schedule. You curl up into a ball on your bed in Chan’s room, alone. But you hardly sleep.

The next morning you’re shuffling throughout the house, keeping yourself busy with household chores. It’s why you’re here, is what you keep telling yourself. You interact with the other members and assignees that are home, but everything feels off without Chan or Hyunjin around. You do their laundry—clothes and linen—clean the kitchen, vacuum the floors. Anything to keep your mind preoccupied.

It's well into the afternoon and you’re vacuuming the living room. You don’t hear the front door open; you’re so caught up in your thoughts you don’t even hear your name being called. It isn’t until a pair of arms wrap around your waist that you’re pulled from your thoughts, jumping and screaming at the sudden contact.

With one look down at the arms around you, the rings on the fingers…you know it’s Hyunjin. You shut off the vacuum and spin around, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Aww, you missed me?” He teases, squeezing you back just as tightly.

“I thought you were coming back tomorrow,” you say, your voice muffled against his chest.

“Change of plans,” he shrugs, resting his cheek on top of your head as you remain in the embrace.

You don’t want to let him go yet. You need him too much. He lets you hold on to him a while longer and when you finally pull away, he’s smiling down at you. You take in his still darkened locks, perfectly structured face, his plump lips, the adorable freckle beneath his eye, the eyebrow piercing…

Your hand flies to his chin, tilting his head up while the other brushes his hair away from his face.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” you say sternly.

He winces at the use of his surname, taking both of your wrists in his hands to bring them away from his face. He shakes his head causing his hair to fall back in place, covering his eyebrows.

“You hate it?”

You free one of your hands from his loose grip on your wrists and brush his bangs back again, taking in the look on him.

“Well, I do think your face is perfect without it…but it looks good on you.”

“I know,” he responds with a wink.

You swat him on the arm playfully, already feeling more at ease with him at home.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early? I would have come pick you up.”

“You just got back yesterday…I thought I was being considerate,” he explains. “Thought maybe you’d like to rest and here I find you, Cinderella-ing away.”

“I needed a distraction,” you shrug.

He ushers you towards the couch. He sits and you plop down next to him, feeling the exhaustion from the work you’ve been doing all morning hit you all at once.

“How was your trip?” he inquires.

“Better than I expected.” You turn to face him on the couch. “Until we got back…I’m sure you know.”

“I heard,” he nods. “He’s fine. He’ll be back soon.”

You exhale a long sigh. You know better than to ask for more details at this point. Even Hyunjin wouldn’t be able to break their code and explain anything to you. It’s hard to reconcile with that fact, truly. The only person who can elaborate is Chan and he’s nowhere to be found, and there’s no telling if he even will when he returns.

“Did you have a good time back home?” you ask.

“It was nice to see my family. Kkami, most of all,” he tells you. “But I don’t think my mom could get me out of the house fast enough after I showed up with this piercing. She thought my dad would lose his shit if he saw it.”

The tone in which they speak of their fathers is always shockingly cavalier. This does nothing to help your concerns over where Chan is.

“So, you were sent back early?”

“For my own safety,” he laughs.

Considering Chan has been M.I.A for almost 24 hours now after his father showed up, you don’t find this funny at all. Their dads wouldn’t actually physically harm them…would they? The thought makes you feel sick to your stomach. If Chan shows back up with scars or bruises, you are liable to lose it.

Hyunjin hooks a finger under your chin and brings your attention back to him.

“Let’s go get lunch,” he suggests.

“I haven’t even showered yet.” You look down at yourself and brush back the hairs that have fallen from your messy bun.

“Well go shower, I’ll unpack…then we’ll get lunch.”

“I’ll unpack for you later,” you say.

“I need something to do, or I’ll pass out and fuck up my sleep schedule even more.”

“Okay,” you concede softly.

Before you can stand, Hyunjin pulls you onto his lap, his eyes searching yours. He cups your face with one hand, stroking the side of your face with his fingers. You lean into his touch. You want to apologize for being in such a sour mood when he’s just returned home, but all you can muster is a forced smile.

He gives a small shake of his head in return.

You don’t have to say anything. No apologies are necessary. You can feel whatever you’re feeling. You should know that already.

He brings your face to his and places a chaste kiss on your lips. He doesn’t part his lips, doesn’t deepen the kiss. He keeps his lips against yours and you feel a little more of the tension subsiding.

Changbin tries to weasel his way into lunch with you and Hyunjin, but Hyunjin firmly shuts him down. The two of you venture out alone—you have lunch then make a few stops for groceries and to pick up saline for Hyunjin’s piercing. While unpacking, he realized he left the bottle he bought in Korea. Which, of course he did.

When you return home, Chan still isn’t back. You’re sad at that, but far less than you would have been if Hyunjin weren’t here. Your saving grace, however, is pulled away by Changbin and you’re left to put away the groceries with Rhiannon. You’re far from hungry but you help her make dinner for the others that are home.

“He did not,” you say to her when she reveals that Allie texted the group chat what Lee Know got her for Christmas. You left your phone upstairs, not wanting to continuously check it for a text from Chan you know isn’t coming.

“He did. He really did,” she says laughing as she wipes her hands to take her phone out of her pocket. She turns it around to show you the picture.

It’s a selfie of Allie, her expression is a mixture of shock and confusion as she holds a butt plug next to her face.

Charlotte sent several eye covering emojis beneath it.

“What the fuck,” you say, laughing with her.

“I know. Raunchy.” She sets her phone back on the counter and returns her attention to the meat on the stove.

You get back to chopping the vegetables on the cutting board in front of you.

“Not just raunchy…it’s actually kinda rude considering he turned down her offer for anal sex last month,” you tell her.

“Exactly! She’s never going to let him do it now,” Rhiannon replies.

Someone clears their throat near the kitchen entrance and you both turn your heads to see who it is.

Chan.

You’re frozen in place, mid-chop. Of course, he’d return while you’re in the midst of discussing anal sex.

You take in his expression—he seems okay. He looks like he didn’t get much sleep, but he’s alive and well on all other counts. His lips turn up into a smile when you look at him and you surely could use your stethoscope right now, because it feels like your heart skips a beat at the sight.

“Hey,” he says to you softly.

“Hey,” you reply.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Me?” you ask incredulously. “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

He holds his hand out for you. You set down the knife and walk to him, placing your hand in his when you’re close enough. He brings you to him, wrapping his arms around you, hands resting on your ass.

“I am now,” he confirms.  

He still seems like the Chan from your trip, and you let out a small breath. You feared that the brick walls you worked so hard to bulldoze through would be replaced by impenetrable steel. Maybe you overreacted. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as all that you were thinking. Though, what choice had he left you with?

“Will you tell me about it later?” You ask quietly.

“I don’t know that it’s conducive after everything…but I will, if you want me to.”

You nod.

“Okay.” he says.

“Okay.” you echo.

He places a quick kiss to your forehead, then smacks you on the butt.

“As long as you tell me what all this anal talk was about.” He says, loud enough for Rhiannon to hear.

Your eyes open wide, and Rhiannon starts guffawing behind you.

You sit next to Hyunjin for dinner, though neither you eat. It’s just nice to be with everyone again. Well, almost everyone. Jeongin, Lee Know, Felix, Allie and Seungmin still aren’t back yet. You occasionally glance towards Chan—he still seems fine. Though, he’s not actively contributing to the conversation he still chimes in occasionally. You want to know what’s on his mind so badly and silently wish for everyone to finish eating faster.

After dinner, both Chan and Hyunjin go up to their rooms while you help Rhiannon with the dishes.

On your way upstairs, an unfamiliar conflict weighs on you as you ascend to the third floor to see Chan. It’s a Friday…you’re supposed to be with Hyunjin. And you will be. But…the last week and a half with only Chan has you feeling out of sorts. You try to tell yourself that nothing has changed…you still care deeply for them both. The connection you now have with Chan is what you always wanted. This will allow you to be with both of them comfortably. Chan opening up to you and professing the feelings he has harbored towards you for years, however, is what has you out of sorts.

Chan’s door is open when you reach it; you knock on it to alert him of your presence. He’s seated at his desk and spins around in his chair as you enter. His laptop is open and you see the familiar music program displayed on the screen. If he was able to get right back to work on their project, he really must be fine.

“So…” you trail off, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“So,” he repeats. “Anal sex?”

Your expression falls flat, and he chuckles. He knows what you’re here to discuss.

“Okay, okay, sorry. What do you wanna know?”

“Why did your dad come here? Where did you go?”

“To check on me,” he tells you. “We went for dinner and then I stayed at the hotel with him.”

“Check on you for what? Are you unwell?”

You know he’s not, but he’s being brief with his responses. You don’t want to blame him; you are throwing multiple questions at once in his direction. It must feel like an interrogation.

“He knew…he knows…about us, I mean.”

“What about us?”

“That I canceled my trip home to go with you instead.”

“And he flew all the way out here for that?”

“It’s just…not something I would normally do. Skipping out on certain obligations and Christmas with my family, my siblings in particular.”

“Shit, Chan…I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I wanted to go with you.”

“You’ve never missed a Christmas with your family?” He shakes his head. “And that’s why he was so pissed?”

Chan is quiet for a moment.

“The trip was…well, you are a deviation from my plans.”

You arch an eyebrow at that.

“From their plans, you mean?”

“They are my plans, too,” he shrugs, “…he just wanted to make sure I’m not straying from the path.”

“Are you?”

He sighs.

“I’m trying really hard not to. I don’t want to disappoint them, they’ve done so much for me. But I also want to give this a try—being open and transparent with you…even knowing how it will end.”

It strikes you then that you may have to be stronger than Chan at the end of this semester. You don’t know if you can do that.  

“You deserve to be happy too, Chan. Even if it’s just for a little while.”

Until he moves on and finds a suitable partner that will please his parents. You wonder if that’s the obligation he mentioned, but you can’t bring yourself to directly ask him about that.

“I’m gonna try.”

“We’ll just enjoy the time we have together?”

“Yes.”

“And even with all the things you told me in Miami, you’re okay with me sleeping in Hyunjin’s bed tonight?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you all to myself,” he confesses. “But it’s Hyunjin…I know he’s good to you and handles you with care. And he’ll give you back when I need you.”

When he needs you? You grip the edges of his mattress to refrain from smiling stupidly at that.

“After our trip it feels a little heavier, you know?”

“Does it?” he asks, as though it’s not obvious why it would. “I’ve shared everything with these guys since we were kids…I know it sounds crazy, but this is not that different.”

You scrunch up your face at that. Is he comparing you to a toy or clothing item they share amongst the group?

“So, you’re okay with me sleeping with all of them?”

His eyes darken at that.

“Fuck no. Just one. Just Hyunjin. That’s all I can bear.”

You laugh at his reaction.

“Just checking.”

As convoluted as the overall situation is, his answer makes sense. Aside from him finally opening up to you, nothing has changed. He still felt this way the entire time you’d already been with Hyunjin and there hadn’t been any problems about that. The only difference now is that you know too. And what you will make of that information over time.

“Does it seem unfair?” you ask.

“What?”

“That you only get me…and I get you and Hyunjin?”

“I only get you?” He arches an eyebrow. “The fact that I get you at all is enough.”

The sincerity in his tone makes your eyes sting. He strokes your cheek with the back of his fingers.

“I’d trust him with my life…I trust him with you, too. Now, go down there to him before I change my mind and tie you up here.”

A flurry of butterflies make their way from your stomach down to your pussy at that remark. It sounds tempting enough to make you hesitate to return downstairs so quickly. You’ve been without Hyunjin for so long, though. You can’t deny that you physically miss him too.  

You lean forward to give him a kiss before standing.

“See you tomorrow?” he nods. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Back in Hyunjin’s room, you find him in the dark, sprawled out on the bed on his stomach, already snoring. You could have stayed upstairs after all. But after the long day of travel he’s had, his fatigue is understandable. You shake him awake, telling him to get beneath the blankets. He does as you tell him; his eyes still partially closed. You change into your pajamas before climbing into bed with him. He cuddles up to you, throwing one leg over both of yours and resting his head on your shoulder.

You wonder how you’ll adjust to this new normal with both of them. Or if it will ever feel normal.

It’s no surprise Hyunjin remains dead to the world long after you’ve woken up the next day. Even after you shower and return to his room, he’s still knocked out. It’s been nearly twelve hours, which gives you a brief moment of concern. You walk to the side of the bed and stand still, watching him intently until you see the rise and fall of his chest confirming he’s alive.

You head downstairs and see that Changbin, Han and Charlotte are in the living room. You join them, watching TV for a while before Changbin suggests getting supplies for tomorrow. You go to the store with them to buy various New Year’s Eve accessories for everyone. Then, on a whim, take an hour-long detour to purchase fireworks. Changbin tries to assure you they’re the perfectly legal kind, but Han can’t lie to save his life.

You text Hyunjin and Chan to let them know where you are, though you’re sure they’re already aware. When you make it back to the house it’s nearly 5:00pm and the sun has already set. You feel like most of the day has been spent on nonsensical, illegal errands but at least it’s still winter break and you don’t have to worry about waking up for a class tomorrow.

Han and Charlotte immediately go off to his room when you make it back inside, while Changbin and Rhiannon hangout in the kitchen. They mention something about ordering takeout for dinner and you tell them whatever is fine as you make your way to the basement where Hyunjin and Chan are.

They’re in the midst of playing pool. Hyunjin, clad in a pair of black Adidas track pants and a long-sleeved white t-shirt looks up at you and smiles when you enter. He has a thin headband in his hair, keeping it out of his face and putting that striking new eyebrow piercing on full display.

Chan has his back to you. He’s dressed equally as comfortable in his typical sweatpants and  plain black t-shirt.

“We were just talking about you,” Hyunjin announces.

Chan turns around and greets you with a smile as well.

“Oh yeah?” you ask suspiciously. “What about me?”

“All good things,” Hyunjin replies.

“Only good things,” Chan adds.

You squint your eyes at them, “Uh-huh. Sure.”

You stop at the pool table, surveying the game. Whoever is stripes is losing badly

“Wanna take over? I suck.” Hyunjin offers you the pool cue.

“I’m no better,” you say.

“Let’s start a new game,” Chan suggests. “You two can be a team.”

You take the pool cue from Hyunjin, and he busies himself with racking the balls at the opposite end of the table. You walk over to Chan and nudge him with your shoulder.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he replies, placing his hand around your waist to pull you close. “Ready to lose?”

“Never,” you say, pushing him away.

Hyunjin finishes setting up the new game then disappears behind the bar. He returns with three drinks—beers for them and a White Claw for you.

“Are we placing bets?” you ask, cracking the top of the can open and taking a sip.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Hyunjin says. “We probably will lose.”

Chan nods confidently and you roll your eyes.

“Alright, let’s get warmed up then,” you say, stepping away from the table to set your drink on the bar.  

 “You guys wanna break?” Chan asks, chalking up the end of his cue.

You and Hyunjin share a look before both shaking your heads.

Chan laughs as he walks to the end of the pool table and bends over. He lines the cue up with the white ball and slides it between his fingers a few times before thrusting forward with so much power that all the other balls are sent in various directions across the table. He sinks a stripe and tosses a wink in your direction.

He goes twice more before it’s your turn. It’s a good thing you didn’t place any bets. You go to take your turn and your form is terrible, you don’t know what you’re doing. Hyunjin comes to assist you, offering a few tips. He stands behind you, placing one hand on your hip and one hand on your arm to help line you up.

“I don’t know if I’d listen to him,” Chan quips. “He might be worse than you.”

You do your best to ignore him and take your shot, but he’s right. You don’t hit anything.

The next time it’s your turn, Chan comes to your aid.

“It’s all about maths,” he says, placing his hands on you in the same way Hyunjin had, but he’s standing much closer. You feel your body get warmer and instinctively lean into him more. You can’t help it. “Geometry. You see the solid green ball?”

Your eyes flicker to where he’s pointing, but you could be looking at a rainbow-colored ball for all you know.

There have been very few times that it’s just been you, Chan and Hyunjin. And never simply hanging out for the hell of it. The relaxed mood of winter break and nearly empty house has provided this opportunity. However, it leaves you feeling uncertain about how to act. You’re not necessarily a completely different person around them alone…but you feel slightly apprehensive about showing either of them flirtatious or sexual attention in a shared setting.

“You can make a bank shot if you hit it at the right angle,” he tells you, bringing your attention back to the game as he guides your cue to the white ball. “Hit it right there—but you gotta use the right amount of force.”

Hyunjin is leaning against the wall, watching and rolling his eyes.

“Listen to this guy,” he scoffs and sips his beer. “Like he’s a professional or something.”

“Try it,” Chan says, stepping back to give you room.

You want to tell him to come back, that you still need more instructions. But how would that make Hyunjin feel? For you to so blatantly yearn for Chan’s touch right in front of him? You doubt that it would upset him…but would he be turned off by it? It is your day to be with him after all, not Chan.

You take a deep breath and shake your head, focusing on the green ball and where you need to hit it. You do exactly as Chan told you and it works.  

You stand up straight with a smile on your face.

“What were you saying?” Chan asks Hyunjin.

Hyunjin says nothing, just sips from his beer again.

You take another turn and miss. You frown.

“Baby steps,” Chan consoles you.

Even with your newfound knowledge, you and Hyunjin still lose the game. Changbin yells down when the food arrives, but the three of you collectively decide to play again instead. Hyunjin and Chan continue their banter, and you feel somewhat like a pawn in their arguments. But not in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If anything, it helps you ease into being around them both simultaneously. Something you’ve wanted from the very beginning.

When it’s Chan’s turn to shoot, Hyunjin comes to your side, holding or touching you in some way. And when it’s Hyunjin’s turn, Chan does the same. The fact that they both seem comfortable with it and aren’t making a big deal out of it makes you feel a little better about being so blatantly shared by them.

“If I make this,” Hyunjin says, lining up his next shot. “You have to kiss me.”

Chan, standing next to you with his arm around your waist, pulls you closer to himself but keeps his eyes on the table. You look at the set up as well—the ball Hyunjin is aiming for is literally right next to the side pocket. It’d be nearly impossible to miss. He knows he’ll make it. He wants to kiss you right here? In front of Chan?

You offer a shrug in response, for lack of anything better to do. You don’t want to offend either of them. Touching and caressing, even like they did in the hot tub, is one thing, but full on kissing? Is that not too much? You look back and forth between them—both completely unbothered by the suggestion, though Chan’s grip around your waist seems to tighten.

Hyunjin shoots and sinks the ball in the side pocket, then stands with a proud smile plastered to his face. He saunters towards where you’re standing near the bar and your pulse quickens. Chan drops his hand from your waist and leaves your side, heading to the pool table. Your eyes remain on him as he picks up the chalk to rub across the tip of his cue. Is he giving you some privacy or something?

Hyunjin hooks a finger under your chin, forcing you to turn and look at him.

Your eyes flutter shut as he presses his lips to yours. You start to pull back—assuming it would be just a quick peck—but Hyunjin’s hand moves to the back of your head and holds you in place. His tongue snakes out, slipping past your lips and into your mouth. It’s been over two weeks since you last felt his soft, plump lips against yours. Two weeks since you’ve tasted him. You’d forgotten how much you missed it.

Hyunjin breaks the kiss, pulling away from you with a smile. You feel your face flush and instinctively look towards Chan. He’s watching you both, nodding with his tongue caught between his teeth on the side. You don’t know what to make of that look.

“It’s still your turn, Hyunjin.” he states.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin agrees. “It is my turn.”

He leans forward again to capture your lips. You laugh and push him away, back towards the table to play. You’re well aware of how long it’s been since he’s had you. It is, most definitely, his turn. As crude as it sounds.

Hyunjin shoots again but misses.

“I’m disoriented,” he attests.

Chan walks around the table, looking at the remaining options. When he sees a shot to take, he stops and bends over to line up his cue.

“If I make this, you have to kiss me, y/n.”

You do your best to keep a straight face. It’s the start of winter and the basement should feel much colder, but you’re warm all over. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s these men that seem hellbent on driving you insane.

Chan doesn’t give you an opportunity to agree or not. He shoots, and sinks it in. Of course he does. He straightens himself with a smile and beckons you over with a jerk of his head. You slide off your stool and he leans back against the pool table. As soon as you’re close enough, he reaches for your hip with his free hand and pulls you to him. You let out a quick gasp at the sudden movement. You’re pressed directly against him. You can hear your pulse thumping furiously and you can feel Hyunjin’s eyes on you.

Chan looks down at you, waiting. You slowly push up onto your tiptoes. This is a first for you—kissing one guy then another within a span of minutes. Chan doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. You have to remind yourself this isn’t their first rodeo. Though, you don’t want to think too much on that. You tilt your head back, getting the angle right as your head moves closer to his. When your lips connect, he kisses you back hungrily, almost as if asserting his dominance or expressing his need for you more.

He moves your hips against him, and you can feel cock. He’s hard. He likes this.

You break the kiss and take a step back, eyes still shut. You don’t want to open them. You don’t want to look at either of them right now. You contemplate taking off up the stairs to hide out in the den for the rest of the night. But you wouldn’t do that…you couldn’t. Not when you’re kinda starting to enjoy this too.

The sound of Chan shooting again causes your eyes to snap open just in time to see him scratch.  

“I’m disoriented,” he mimics Hyunjin.

It’s now your turn. You slide past Chan and walk to the other side of the table, looking at the remaining balls. You don’t have many options.

“If I make this,” you say, settling on a shot and lining up your cue. “You both have to kiss each other.”

You spare a glance up at both of them to see their shocked expressions and grin. Good. They can have a taste of their own medicine.

But you miss.  

“I’m disoriented,” you sass.

“Thank God for that,” Hyunjin says and you all laugh.

You play the remainder of the game without any more kissing. You and Hyunjin still wind up losing. Again. You start to rack up for another game when Hyunjin excuses himself to the bathroom.

As soon as he turns to leave, Chan comes up behind you and puts his hands on your hips. He spins you around to face him.

“Chan,” you warn, placing your hands on his chest.

“Hmmm?” he picks you up and sets you on the pool table, not giving you a chance to say anything else before his lips collide with yours.

His mouth and hands are needy, all over you the moment he has you alone. You feel powerless to him when he’s like this—how could you deprive him of what he so desperately wants? You kiss him back and wrap your legs around his waist.

His hand finds one of yours and guides it between you, placing it on his hard cock. You bite down on his bottom lip before pulling away from the kiss as you squeeze his cock between your fingers.

“I’ve thought of all the different ways I could fuck you on this table over the last hour,” he asserts, trailing kisses along your jawline and down the side your neck.

“We can’t,” you reply.

He slips his hand beneath your sweatshirt to palm your breast.

“You don’t want me to?”

He forces you down onto the table with one hand and lifts your sweatshirt with the other. He pulls down the cup of your bra, and you let out a deep breath. You know you’d let him take you right here, even if the whole house were in the room.

“Tell me to stop,” he says, removing his hand from your shoulder as he leans down over you, taking your nipple into his mouth.

He swirls his tongue around it, keeping his eyes on yours, daring you to stop him. When you don’t, he pulls down the other side of your bra and latches his mouth on to that nipple.

“But, Hyunjin—”

He bites down on your nipple at that, and you gasp. He releases your nipple from his mouth and blows cool air over it, watching as it hardens.

“You’re mine, yeah?” he asks.

You keep your mouth shut and nod in response.

“You do what I want,” he pinches both of your nipples between his fingers, “when I want.”

“But what if he—”

You’re cut off again when he pinches your nipples harder, pulling on them and making you arch your back. The pain he’s inflicted sends shockwaves straight to your pussy. You don’t know how much of this she can take before turning completely feral. You bite on your lip to keep from crying out.

With your legs hooked around him, you pull him closer to you, wanting to grind yourself against him.

“There she is,” he says with a crooked smile. “I hope I didn’t spoil you too much on the trip.”

He continues to pinch and pull at your nipples.

“The things I said don’t change anything about this.”

The last few days of your vacation had been gentle…some might say loving. You hadn’t assumed he’d turned a new leaf sexually, though. You know what he likes, you know what he wants from you.

He releases your nipples and hooks a finger in the middle of your bra, using it to bring you up to him. He lets go when you’re upright and your sweatshirt falls, covering you up.

“When Hyunjin comes back down,” he says, hands caressing your thighs. “I want you to go upstairs and change into something more comfortable. No panties. No bra. Then come back here.”

Your mind immediately begins racing about why he would want you to do that, but you know better than to question him at a time like this.

“Okay?”

“Yes, Chan.”

He takes a step back and you lower yourself from the table just as Hyunjin returns. You slide away from Chan and head for the stairs, passing Hyunjin on your way.

“You leaving?”

“I’ll be back,” you tell him. “Just going to change.”

He nods at that, and you leave him behind. On your way to follow Chan’s instructions, you see Changbin and Rhiannon cuddled up on the couch. They don’t pay you any attention as you pass by, too caught up in whatever they’re watching. You scurry along to Hyunjin’s room and contemplate what to wear. What does he even mean by something comfortable? You settle on a pair of gym shorts and leave your sweater on but take off the bra beneath it, and put your hair up into a ponytail.

When you return to the basement, the lights above the pool table and bar are off. Just the soft glow of the TV against the back wall illuminates the room. You walk towards it and spot both Hyunjin and Chan seated on opposite ends of the sofa. You take a seat between them with Hyunjin on your left and Chan on your right. Hyunjin tosses a large blanket over you and you hug it tightly to you.

You sit with your legs folded on the couch, body rigid as you overthink which way, if any, you should lean.

Chan controls the TV, scrolling through various movie options. He doesn’t ask what anyone else cares to see before settling on one. Your eyes are very much looking at the screen, but they’re not focused. You don’t know what he picked. Your mind is still trying to figure out why he wanted you to change and if either of them would be offended should you choose to lay on one of them and not the other.  

The movie starts to play, and you immediately recognize that the audio is in Korean. Chan is fucking with you, per usual. He knows there’s no way you’ll be able to concentrate on the film and read the subtitles while you’re sitting between them without any underwear on.

“You comfortable?” Chan’s voice breaks into your thoughts.

You don’t know if he means in general or if you’ve followed his instructions on getting comfortable. You turn to look at him and nod your head in response.

“Lay down,” he says softly but it’s not a request.

With Chan, he’s always in control.

With Hyunjin, it’s an equal balance between the two of you, and never to the extent of what Chan does.

You want to ask which way but you’re feeling all out of sorts at the dynamics. Showing yourself to be completely submissive in front of Hyunjin feels strange, but for all you know, he’s already aware. You don’t know what things they talk about amongst themselves.

You’re still looking at Chan when you feel Hyunjin’s hand on your shoulder. He pulls you to him, laying you against his side. He leaves his hand wrapped around you. You exhale a small breath and snuggle up to him, readjusting yourself so your legs are curled on the couch.

Chan lifts the blanket and pulls some of the excess fabric to cover his lap. He then brings your legs across his thighs and starts to caress them.

You revert your attention to the screen, still unaware of what movie is playing, but you can’t look anywhere else. Not at Chan, not at Hyunjin. You’re not stupid. You know something is about to happen, but not knowing what is bothering you.

Several minutes pass and you start to think maybe, just maybe you’re only going to watch the movie. Maybe Chan just wanted you to get changed, to know that you’re going commando. You know better than that, though.

His hand rubbing your leg slides up to your thigh, high enough to brush against the hem of your shorts with every caress. You tense up a little and Hyunjin begins to rub your arm. Chan moves your legs with his other hand so they’re side by side. He taps thrice on your thigh with his fingers and after this long with him, he doesn’t even have to say anything. You readjust yourself, shifting your hips to create a space between your thighs for him.

Chan resumes caressing the inside of your thigh, his hand inching higher and higher each time until his fingers brush against your pussy. He rubs along your slit with his finger, and you try your very best to remain still. You don’t know if Hyunjin is in on this. If not, are you supposed to contain yourself? Chan must know you won’t be able to.

You keep still until he slips a finger inside and you involuntarily squirm against him. You feel Hyunjin’s hand pause its movement on your arm. You can’t bring yourself to look up at him.

Your uncertainties are answered when his hand leaves your arm and dips beneath the blanket. He slips it beneath your sweatshirt, up your stomach and to your breasts.

Your head snaps up to look at him.

“No?” He asks innocently, and even Chan freezes his movements.

You don’t know if your shock stems from the fact that Hyunjin must be in on this too, or the idea of what is actually happening. This is something you have never done before, but you can’t deny that you want to. You’ve experienced them separately and here they are, offering you both of them simultaneously. And, apparently, giving you the choice to proceed or not.

Seeing the contemplative look in your eyes, Hyunjin begins to knead your breasts. Your eyes flutter shut as you allow yourself to focus on only what you’re feeling. His long, slender hands handle your breasts with a remembered ease. He divides his attention between both of them and you feel the familiar shockwaves sending tingles straight to the nerves of your clit. You clench your pussy around Chan’s finger and slowly open your eyes as you nod.

Being with two men at once is not something you had ever considered before…but where else could you try it safely besides here?

You lean back against Hyunjin and Chan continues slipping his finger in and out of your moistening pussy. Having both of them touching you has your brain on the fritz again.

“Take his cock out,” Chan speaks a command you never thought you’d hear.

Under his direction, you don’t think twice about lifting yourself up to push down Hyunjin’s pants. He lifts his hips, and you slide them down along with his boxers, freeing his cock. It springs up towards you. You take delight at the sight of it, already hard for you while Chan’s fingers continue to slowly pump in and out of your pussy. Is Chan hard too?

You lick your lips, hesitating on your next move.

You glance back at Chan who gives you a quick nod. You then turn to look up at Hyunjin.

“Ours.” His tone and that word are all that you need to help settle your spiking emotions.

Even though his statement directly opposes what you told Chan earlier, Hyunjin is correct. You belong to them both. They can enjoy you together. And you them. However, it’s not lost on you that Chan seems to be calling the shots.

You readjust your body once more and grip the base of Hyunjin’s cock, his hands still fondling your breasts beneath your sweatshirt. You lower your head towards his pulsating member and take it in your mouth. You hear a groan and honestly, you’re not sure which of them it came from.

You feel Chan’s cock twitch beneath your legs on his lap. For a brief moment you wonder if someone might try to come down to the basement and catch you all in quite a predicament. Everyone that’s home, though, seemed preoccupied themselves. And this is the SKZ house, after all. It probably would not be a first.

You begin to bob your head up and down on Hyunjin’s cock as you rock your hips against Chan’s fingers. You’re unable to fully wrap your head around what is happening so you try not to think about it any further, or anything else for that matter. You want to focus on what you’re feeling—pleasing and being pleased at the same time.

You let out a muffled moan as Chan’s thumb finds your clit. He applies gentle pressure and rubs it in circles. You continue to moan around Hyunjin’s cock and the sounds of your pleasure must set Chan off. In the next instant he withdraws his fingers and moves the blanket off you. He grabs you by the hips and pulls you up so you’re on your knees. He yanks down your shorts and palms your ass as you arch your back and stick it out towards him even more.

The change in position allows him better access to you, and you to Hyunjin. Hyunjin adjusts his hands, placing one on the back of your head while the other continues to grope your breasts.

Chan then turns sideways, resting one leg on the couch. He spreads your cheeks apart and then his mouth is all over your pussy while you greedily gobble Hyunjin’s cock. Chan alternates licking between your folds, fucking you with his tongue, and slurping your juices.

You grip the base of Hyunjin’s cock and stroke him as you lift your head for air. His hand moves to your neck, and he uses a finger to turn your head to face him. He leans forward to kiss you. You squeeze your eyes shut as you kiss him back, the sounds that escape your lips are something between a moan and whimper. Your hips are circling against Chan’s face of their own accord, your hand stroking Hyunjin, your tongue in his mouth. You feel like you could lose it.

You break the kiss.

“You feel good?” Hyunjin asks with a sly smile, tugging on your nipple beneath your sweatshirt.

“Too good,” you say. The wanton expression on your face reveals just how good you feel.

“I told you she’d like it,” he says to Chan.

Your head spins at his words. This was Hyunjin’s idea?

“Of course she does.” Chan pulls his face away from your pussy to respond.

You take your hand off Hyunjin’s cock and move away from Chan’s touch too. Your mind is racing, wondering when this was planned. Before you came back home? After you went upstairs? You truly thought that this had to of been Chan’s idea. If they were both in on this, you don’t want to feel like a complete bystander the entire time.

You’re on your knees still, but now fully upright when you look over to Chan.

“Take your pants off,” you tell him.

“Oh, she’s getting into it,” Hyunjin remarks with a light chuckle. You turn to him and silence his laughter with one look.

“And your shirts. Both of you.”

While they remove their clothing you maneuver the blanket so it’s under you and remove your own top before sitting down. You place a hand on each of their thighs, pulling on them until they both get the hint to slide closer to you. You bring your right hand to your mouth, spit on it, then place it on Chan’s cock. You do the same with your left for Hyunjin.

It gives you great satisfaction to see both of their heads hit the back of the couch as you start stroking them in sync. It’s nice to silence them after their smart comments.

Hyunjin’s hand is on you again, caressing up your side, past your ribs and over to your breasts. You turn to your left to kiss him and as you do, Chan lifts your right leg and drapes it between his. His hand, like a magnet, is on your pussy again, rubbing your clit with his fingers. You drape your left leg across Hyunjin, spreading yourself wide open between them.

You break the kiss with Hyunjin and turn to Chan. You lean towards him, slightly, and when he moves to meet you the rest of the way, you duck your head down to put your mouth on his cock. He grunts, placing his hand on the back of your head to force you down on him. You keep stroking Hyunjin with your left hand as your right hand and mouth work on Chan.

“Fuck, y/n. Your mouth feels fucking amazing,” Chan tells you.

You’d smile at that if your mouth wasn’t full of his cock.

You lift your head and move over to your left—Hyunjin’s turn again. You stroke him and bob your head up and down. You’re thankful to have this task, alternating back and forth between licking, sucking, and stroking their cocks to slightly distract you from the feeling of Hyunjin’s hands on your breasts and Chan’s on your pussy. You’d surely have flown off the rails by now without it.

You feel a hand on the back of your neck, but you don’t know who’s it is. It squeezes gently and pulls you upright. It moves to the front of your neck and pushes you back against the couch. You keep your hands gripped firmly around each of their cocks, switching up your pace from fast to slow. You slide your hands up to their tips, smearing around the clear liquid oozing out of them.

You look down to see that it’s Chan’s hand around your throat. Hyunjin’s hand replaces his on your pussy and you slide down on the couch a little, giving him room to enter you.

“Kiss me,” Chan breathes into your ear.

Your head snaps in his direction and you have no time to even think about the fluids you’re all swapping. Your lips are on his, his hand still gripping your throat as Hyunjin fucks you with his fingers. Hyunjin leans towards you from the other side, kissing, nipping, biting your neck. You keep stroking them both, adding more spit as needed. Your hips move back and forth rapidly against Hyunjin’s fingers while Chan uses his other hand to rub your clit.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you pant between kissing Chan.

“Yeah?” He keeps your head pressed back against the couch.

“Yes, yes,” you reply.

Hyunjin’s other hand goes to your breasts again, pinching and pulling at your nipples. Your body begins to shake as you cry out for more.

“You gonna come for us?” Chan asks, slowing his movements against your clit to tease you.

You look him in the eye as you nod.

“Tell me what you are,” he demands, picking up the pace of his fingers.

You open your mouth to respond, but don’t know what answer he’s looking for. He slows his fingers down again, to which you pout. Does he want to hear that you’re his? Or theirs?

“Look at you,” he says. He uses his hand on your neck to guide your head, showing you where to look.

The three of you are all tangled together. Your hands on them, their hands in you, on you, choking you, pinching you.

Hyunjin’s mouth moves to your ear, nibbling on your lobe before whispering two words.

“Our slut.”

Chan turns your head back to him before you can even get caught up in the semantics of what Hyunjin has just said.

“Respectfully,” Chan adds with a stern look.

The word absolutely has negative connotations but here, with them, you know they don’t mean it as an insult. Considering your current predicament, you can even agree with their use of the word. But because it’s them, because you know them, you know how they feel for you—it feels shockingly endearing to hear.

“Say it,” Chan commands, moving his fingers rapidly against your clit again as Hyunjin presses harder against the walls of your pussy, each time he withdraws his fingers.

Hyunjin replaces his fingers on your nipple with his mouth, sucking on it.

“I’m—I’m—oh, fuck—” you can’t form a simple sentence between your whimpering and moaning.

Chan forces your head back against the couch once more, squeezing tighter around your throat. You feel like your entire body could fucking explode. You grit your teeth together, focusing the few remaining active brain cells you have left to speak.

“I’m your slut,” you manage to eke out.

Chan groans at this and covers your mouth with his again. Hyunjin bites down on your nipple and that, combined with Chan’s tongue greedily invading your mouth sends you flying off the top of Mount fucking Everest with no parachute.

Your hands, still gripped around their cocks, stop their movements as you give way to an earth-shattering orgasm. Your body thrashes around as you whine into Chan’s mouth. They don’t stop touching you, even as the spasms subside.

When you finally open your eyes, the world around you feels like a blur, but you’re still very much aware of the two men beside you, now gently caressing your body.

They don’t give you much time to recover.

“He’s gonna fuck you now,” Chan announces.  

Your legs feel weak and your thighs quiver as you try to bring them back together. As much as you’d like a reprieve, your greediness for them is more prevalent.

Hyunjin slips off the couch and gets on his knees on the floor. He slides you down too, then turns you around. Chan moves over so your upper body is between his legs. He’s stroking his cock as he watches Hyunjin handle you.

Hyunjin pulls you back by your hips until your ass and thighs are pressed against him, letting you feel his cock as it gets hard again. He caresses your ass, then up your back before slowly pushing you down. You have nowhere to look but Chan.

That’s not a complaint, though. He’s the very essence of confidence seated in front of you, hand on his cock. Your eyes trail down from his, past his muscular shoulders and ripped abdomen to his cock, eyeing it hungrily.

You sway your hips from side to side until Hyunjin holds you in place and you whine in protest. You need one of them inside. Somehow, someway. His grip on you is tight as he starts to tease your slit, spreading your slick all around. You move Chan’s hand out of the way to take over stroking him.

“Wait,” he says, hooking a finger under your chin to bring your eyes back to him.

His gaze flickers up to Hyunjin and he gives a curt nod before looking back down at you. You feel the tip of Hyunjin’s cock at your opening and your first instinct is to close your eyes and drop your head.

“Look at me,” Chan orders.

You keep your eyes locked on him, biting your lower lip as Hyunjin, at a painstakingly slow rate, enters you. A moan escapes your lips when he’s finally buried in, to the hilt. He pulls out just as slowly, then thrusts forward with force, the sound of his thighs hitting yours is loud in the quiet basement.

Chan drops his finger from your chin, and you position your mouth over his cock. You spit on it, then work your hand around it to lather it up before gripping at the base and stroking him while Hyunjin fucks you from behind. You press the tip of Chan’s cock to your lips. You kiss it, then smack it against your lips a couple times, making him groan.

“Stick your tongue out,” he says, reaching up to take out your hair tie and let your hair fall around your face. “And keep doing that.”

You open your mouth, stick out your tongue, and do as you’re told.

“Fuck,” he tangles his hands in your hair. When he has a good grip, he forces your head down onto him. All. The. Way. You relax your jaw and tongue and breathe through your nose to accommodate the abrupt invasion.

Hyunjin delivers a smack to your ass as he plows into you, and you moan around Chan’s cock.

“Do that again,” Chan tells him.

Hyunjin grunts, rubbing your ass before smacking it again, harder than the first time. The sounds you make are muffled, with Chan’s cock in your mouth, but he can feel the vibrations.

“You’re so fucking wet,” Hyunjin says as he completely pulls out of you. He rubs the tip of his cock against your dripping pussy. “You like fucking us both, jagiya?”

Chan slightly releases his grip on your hair, allowing you to lift your head. His cock falls from your mouth, and it’s coated in your saliva, as is your chin.

“I do,” you admit. You couldn’t lie if you wanted to. “I really do.”

You resume stroking Chan with one hand while the other slides up his torso and across his abs. You lower your mouth back onto him, sucking and stroking in unison as Hyunjin slams back into you. The motions from Hyunjin’s deep and fast strokes help move your mouth on Chan’s cock.

“Shit—y/n, slow down,” Chan gasps suddenly. He uses his hands in your hair to try and pull you away. You shake your head, mouth still wrapped around his cock. You look him dead in the eyes as you start moving your hips to fuck Hyunjin back. They both made you crumble. Now it’s their turn.

“Fuck me harder, Hyunjin,” you say, holding Chan’s cock at an angle to lick up the shaft from base to tip, keeping your eyes on his.

“I’m gonna come, jagiya,” Hyunjin moans from behind you, pounding into you even harder.

“Please,” you reply. And you don’t know what comes over you with the words that fly out of your mouth next. “Fill up your little fucking slut. Both of you.”

Hyunjin grunts, his breath coming out in spurts as he comes.

“My fucking God,” Chan groans.

You put your mouth back on his cock and his hands fall from your hair. He leans back against the couch, resigned to letting you continue as he watches with a clenched jaw, shaking his head, but he doesn’t break eye contact either as he comes in your mouth.

You keep sucking his cock and rocking your hips back against Hyunjin.

Hyunjin is the first to pull away after he’s finished spilling himself inside your pussy. He withdraws himself completely. When Chan’s body finishes jerking, you slide your mouth off him.

“Show me,” he says.

You open your mouth to show him.

“Good girl. Swallow.”

You close your mouth and gulp down his fluids.

In the next instant he slides to the edge of the couch and pulls you against him, kissing you. It’s a hard, but simple kiss. When he pulls back, his brown eyes are filled with an emotion you can’t put a name to. A soft smile spreads across his face as he leans his forehead against yours.

“I told you I can share,” he whispers quietly enough for only you to hear.

He leans back against the couch then jerks his head towards Hyunjin. You turn around to see him splayed out on the ground, catching his breath. You let out a laugh and crawl over to him. He turns his head to you.

“Who are you even?” he asks, exasperated.

You lower yourself down to kiss him, just as hard as Chan had kissed you. Hyunjin moans, grabbing the back of your head to hold you against him as his tongue slips past your lips, his tongue swirling around yours. You relax into the kiss. Not a few hours ago you would have been concerned about kissing him like this after everything that has just transpired, but not anymore. You’re theirs just as much as they are yours. For now.

After wiping yourselves down, the three of you end up pulling the pillows down from the couch onto the floor and use the other spare blankets to make a pallet to lay on top of. You lay in the middle of Chan and Hyunjin but at some point, end up cuddled up to Hyunjin. He’s truthfully the better snuggler. You don’t know when you fell asleep but when you open your eyes again, you don’t even know what time it is. There’s a new movie playing, and a hand has crept between your thighs.

You lift your head from Hyunjin’s chest to see he’s still sleeping. You turn to look over your shoulder and see Chan wide awake, looking at you. He grabs your hand and brings it to his cock. It’s hard, and a look of need is ablaze in his eyes.

“You’re insatiable,” you whisper, rolling over towards him.

“I didn’t have enough,” he whispers back. “I need to fuck you, too, y/n.”

He sits up, with his back against the couch and pulls you onto him. He brings his hand to his mouth to spit on before rubbing it against your pussy, then around his dick. He lowers you down on to him and lets out a long sigh. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your bare chest against his.

He quietly fucks you. Very little is said. You’re not surprised by how quickly you become wet for him and start fucking him back.

Even with a comatose Hyunjin next to you, this doesn’t feel as awkward as you may have once assumed. It doesn’t feel sneaky, doesn’t feel like cheating. They both can have you whenever they want, and you them.

a/n: 10 pages in the word doc of pure smut for you guys. how was it?

since the tag list has not been working, i created a mailing list so i can email those of you who want to know when the chapter is being posted. if you'd like to sign up, click the link below. the email may initially go to your spam folder, it will be coming from writeonwhiskey@214560374.mailchimpapp.com. not spam, just me :)

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𝐵𝓁𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 9.7k

rating: fluff -`♡´-

Part 1 of 4

The lines around his mouth deepen. His hand jumps up to cover it as his lips finally break open to make way for a tiny laugh. He replaces his hand with his coffee cup, sipping around a shy smile. “Thank you.” But he shakes his head a little when he says it.

You catch a glimpse of the braces he’s instinctively trying to hide.

-

It’s half-past eight and you’re already an hour behind. Work got hectic, and then the surprise meeting really threw you off balance. Tonight is not the best night for a date. A blind date, actually, set up for you with nothing but love and the very best of intentions in mind by your friend and co-worker. And if you’re being honest with yourself, one of the only close friends you’ve made since moving far from home. She’s your best friend, really. Choonhee even helped you find your job here in Korea.

Now that you think about it, maybe this whole date idea was to take some of the weight off of her. The two of you spend most of your time together. She teaches you how to cook all of your favorite dishes, helps you keep your finances in order. She’s always there when things get a little too overwhelming. You don’t blame her for wanting to find you more friends.

You feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket.

“Please please also be running behind,” You mumble to yourself.

Meet him at the cafe in an hour

A sigh of relief. You look at yourself in the mirror. Time to shower. Time to overthink what you’re going to wear.

It’s just a casual thing, she said. No dressing up. Just wear what I’d wear if I were hanging out any other time with any other friend. That really didn’t make things easier, though. You try to remember what she did tell you about your date, but it wasn’t much:

Tall, but not too tall. ‘Taller than you’ is what she said, actually. Nice eyebrows. Kind of a smart ass if you know him well enough. He’s funny…she really emphasized the fact that he has an interesting sense of humor. His hair is currently blond, or it was the last time she saw him. ‘He looks cute blond’, also her words. And ‘he did it for work’.

What does that even mean? You didn’t bother getting any other information out of her. It’s going to be uncomfortable and awkward no matter how much you know, but you forgot to ask how well he spoke English. It doesn’t matter now. You just hope there’s enough overlap in language to make it through an hour or so.

____

At 9:40 (you’re late) you jump out of your taxi and try to orient yourself. You’ve been here before, but not much, and not lately. And it’s busy because of the holiday. You suddenly regret every decision you’ve made today. Maybe it’s not too late to cancel and get yourself back home and under the blankets.

Buzz buzz

Are you there? He’s waiting near the door, but didn’t want to go in without you because it’s a little busy

Oh, that’s kinda nice. At least he’s thoughtful. Or maybe he’s just anxious. Your heart is still beating out of your chest and you can feel how hot your cheeks are despite the chilly air. You start your walk toward the cafe, about a half a block down. There are far too many people loitering on the sidewalk; waiting for rides, talking in tight little groups, phones out and taking videos of friends. You squeeze yourself through until you get to the tables set up outside. Also full of people.

You close your eyes and take in a deep breath. Seven seconds in, five out. Right? It helps a little, so you open your eyes and take a cautious look around. There are so many people that could potentially be him, so you try to filter out the blonds. There are a lot of kinda tall blonds, but only one by himself. And he isn’t really blond. This guys hair is a light soft brown. The way the warm lights bounce off of it does make it look lighter, though.

He’s right by the outer doors of the cafe, back against the wall with one foot flat against it. His raised knee is swinging back and forth like a metronome. He’s bobbing his head a little as he stares down at his phone. It lights up his face, but most of it is covered with a black mask. And then, almost as if he feels your eyes on him, he looks up and right at you. His hair bounces down around his eyes a bit, and he shakes his head until he gets it out.

You hold the eye contact, but you forget how to react normally for a moment. You assume she told him about you and a little about your appearance, so…

He puts his phone in his pocket and waves, a little reluctantly, a little unsure. You’re not the only foreigner here, and definitely not terribly distinctive looking. But you’re certain you’re looking at the right person.

You wave back and smile.

He stands up straight and takes a few steps toward you, hands in the pockets of his jacket now. He takes them out almost immediately, though. Maybe he’s nervous, too.

He nods to you. His hand combs through his hair, but it bounces back exactly how it was before he touched it. “You’re late.”

You blush a little and your heart is thumping again. The mask is making it difficult to read him. That’s not how you were expecting him to greet you, and you really weren’t expecting somebody that looked like him

“I’m kidding…I’m kidding.” Now you can hear the lightness in his voice. It’s almost melodic, the way he speaks. He pulls at his mask a little to adjust it. “I just got here a few minutes ago.”

“Oh!” You try to hold his eyes with yours, but his gaze is a little intense. “Okay good…yeah it’s a little crazy out tonight.”

“It is busy,” he agrees with a little nod. “But we can go inside if it’s not too crowded for you. To get warm.”

His hands are back in his pockets again.

“Yeah, if you’re good, I’m good.”

It’s almost too warm inside the cafe, but it’s roomy, thankfully. The large amount of people are spread out nicely. The lights are turned down low, and the atmosphere is almost bar-like. The biggest difference is the smell of coffee and the soft voices. The music is familiar; something you would listen to in your free time.

He waits for you to catch up. You fall behind without realizing as you adjust to your surroundings.

“It’s nice in here,” he says, “what do you like to drink?”

“Just a regular latte.”

“That’s all?”

You nod at him, and he orders for both of you. It’s a good opportunity to see him in the brighter lights here at the counter. His long legs are in a pair of well fitting (but not too tight) black jeans, cuffed just enough that you see a bit of his ankle peeking above his white and tan sneakers. His jacket is light blue denim, and the hoodie underneath is white.

He half turns to look at you, and his eyes narrow in a way that let you know he’s smiling. It sets off butterflies in your stomach. You’ve barely spoken to him and you haven’t even seen his whole face, yet here you are, feeling like you’re falling.

“They’ll bring our drinks to us. We can find somewhere to sit.” He waves you toward him, and you follow as he leads you to the most out of the way table he can find. You’re thankful for the semi-privacy here.

There’s not much time to start a conversation, but you look at each other briefly. His gaze is a little intense from above his mask, but soft. His eyes are big and shiny, and he doesn’t look away from you. It feels like he’s searching for something to say.

A few moments later, a young girl arrives with two drinks. When she walks off again, he finally takes off his mask. Carefully he unhooks it from one ear, then the other, and folds it neatly into his pocket.

He’s better looking than you were expecting.

The smell of fresh coffee and the look in his eyes makes you feel a little…woozy. You wonder if he looks at everyone like this. It’s getting so warm in the cafe. You shake yourself out of your top layer before wrapping your hands around the warm mug.

Your force yourself to look up at him again. “Choonhee told me almost nothing about you. She didn’t even get your hair color right.”

“To be fair, I change it often.” He lifts his straw to his lips. Iced coffee. “She told me a lot about you.”

“Yeah? What did you she tell you? I may have to correct a few things.”

“No,” he laughs and shakes his head. “She said you were…nice, cute, funny, smart.”

You try not to dispute his ‘cute’ claim. Either he means it or he’s just being nice. Both are fine right now. “She did mention that we have similar personalities, but I don’t know exactly what she meant.”

“I think she must have a type when it comes to friends.”

His English is nice; very smooth. Only occasionally does he make a mistake with cadence. But it’s hardly noticeable. His voice is sweet and soft, and very soothing to your ears. You hope he keeps talking all night. Things will go much easier for you that way.

“She told me you were kind of a smart ass.”

Seungmin laughs at that, throwing his hand over his mouth when he does. “Only if you deserve it.” He drops his hand back to the table and then around his drink

The two silver rings he’s wearing glint a little in the light. One is thin and plain, the other is much wider, and the shape is a repeating row of G’s. You somehow recognize that G. It’s a Givenchy G.

“Is this real or a knockoff?” Gently, you take his hand in yours to get a closer look, and then realize how silly of a thing that was. Sometimes you forget to show restraint. You’re very American.

He doesn’t pull away, though. He doesn’t seem to mind you taking his hand in yours without warning. “It’s real. It was a gift.”

“Silver looks good on you.”

“Thank you.” He drops his eyes from you to your hands still clasped together. He says nothing, just waits until you let go to pull back.

“Oh…gift, that reminds me.” He digs in the pocket of his denim jacket and pulls out something small and white. Before handing it to you, he looks it over and smiles. “It’s silly, but I got you this...”

“You brought me something?”

Seungmin nods and passes it across the table. When you grab it, it’s soft and fuzzy. It’s a keychain. You’re definitely blushing and you’re 100% certain he can see the pink rising up from your neck and into your cheeks.

“I don’t know if you have a favorite, but Choonhee said you like dogs. I like dogs, too. Pochacco is my favorite.”

“Thank you, Seungmin.” You stare down at Pochaccos face and squeeze him. Then you hook him onto the keys hanging from your bag. You keep holding onto him, though.

He smiles again, much bigger than before. And this time he doesn’t cover his face with his hand. You see his braces this time, and it makes you smile. You obviously shouldn’t stare, but it’s hard not to. They look cute on him.

An oooh comes out in a whisper and you didn’t mean it to, but it’s out there now. You can’t take your eyes off of his mouth, and now you’re wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

“Oh…uhm.” Seungmin keeps smiling, but now his lips are back together. “Did she tell you I still had my braces?”

“No, she didn’t mention it.” You lean into the table more so you’re closer to him. It’s not a very big table. “She told me very little, I guess she wanted me to be surprised.”

“Hopefully no…bad surprises.”

“Nothing bad yet.”

The smile on his face becomes a little more reserved, but it’s still very much there. “How is your coffee…are you hungry?”

“It’s good,” You pick it up and take a sip. He’s been too distracting…you can’t even remember if you’ve taken a drink yet. “I am a little hungry, but I’m not much of an eater on dates. I’m usually too nervous.”

Seungmin nods, seeming to understand your reasoning. “Please let me know if you change your mind. We can get something.”

You nod back, “so how do you know Choonhee?”

“She used to work with me, where I work now.”

“Oh, where do you work?”

He seems to hesitate for a moment, look around, fidget with his drink. Then he looks at you again. “I work for JYP Entertainment.”

He works at one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea. And Choonhee worked there, too.

“I had no idea she used to work there.” You sit back in your chair and fold your arms over your chest. “That’s kind of a big change from what she does now.”

Seungmin nods, “in atmosphere, maybe. She was a tutor. You are a teacher, yeah?”

You nod, “yes, I teach English. Sometimes music, as a substitute.”

The table shakes a little as he moves closer. He can’t get much closer, unfortunately. “You teach music?”

“Not often, but yes. I take it you like music?”

“Yes, very much. Do you sing?

“Yeah, a little.”

There’s a little smirk on his lips as he finishes off the last bit of iced coffee. He shakes the remainder of his ice as he stands. “I’m going to find the restroom, I’ll be back.”

Before he leaves, he shakes himself free of his denim jacket and hangs it neatly across the back of his chair. You nod and watch him walk away. It’s difficult to keep your eyes off of him, but as soon as he disappears into the restroom, you pull out your phone. It’s buzzed three times since you’ve been here.

Have fun!!

Did you find him?

You don’t have to answer these btw, I’ll assume you haven’t answered because you found him and immediately fell in love

You unlock your phone and begin typing a response. “Yes, we found each other.” Send. You think for a moment, but her reply comes through before your next message.

Well!?

“He’s cute.”

You’re gonna fall in love, just give it a minute

From the corner of your eye you see him walk by the table. You look at him; he looks at you and waves, but his mask is back on. You think for the smallest moment he’s skipping out, but he’s only heading to the counter again. You watch him and your phone at the same time.

Buzz buzz

He likes you

Oh, he must have sent Choonhee a message in the restroom. He likes you. You’ve barely known each other thirty minutes, so he can’t possibly like you that much. But you like him, so maybe he does…

He returns with two small plates and sets one of them in front of you. The other is his. “I heard they have very good pastries here, so I thought we should try one.” He removes his mask and goes for a taste.

You pick yours up and carefully tear it in half. It’s filled with chocolate. “Oh, did you get the chocolate one, too?”

As he’s biting into it and making a mess, he nods. The flakes stick to his lips as he chews, and he carefully tries cleaning them off, but it’s a challenge. It’s cute. You can’t help but think of going over there and cleaning him off yourself. But you shake away the thought and stop staring.

——

“Seungmin…” he hands you your fresh coffee and leads the way out of the crowd. It’s dwindled a bit, but not by much. “It’s a nice name.”

“It’s so common, but I guess that’s not really a bad thing.”

“You look like a Seungmin.”

“Oh, is that a good thing?” He laughs.

You mmhmm him through your sip of coffee and purposely brush against his arm. He gave you his denim jacket to wear. You told him you weren’t cold, and it was no big deal, but you’re secretly grateful you have it around you. His scent is subtle on it; it’s nice.

“Are you warm enough?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,” you look up at him, but you can’t see well in the dim light. You can just make out the silhouette of his nose and mouth and chin. He licks his lips after another sip of coffee. “It’s nice here.”

You walked from the cafe and ended up at the edge of a large public park. It’s lit up and cozy, but a little chillier now that it’s gotten much later. There are still plenty of people milling around, though, mostly couples and groups of teenagers, but it’s not too crowded.

There are seats and tables here, so he leads you to a spot under some decent lighting and a working outdoor heater. It’s comfortable enough, but mostly it’s nice having him more to yourself. He’s looking down at his hands as they spin his coffee cup. A hot one this time.

Big dark eyelashes hide his eyes from you. Lips are closed tight like, he’s deep in thought. He looks at you then, as if he feels you watching. The lights makes them look wet, like maybe he could cry at any moment. But his cheeks lift as he smiles. His lips stay closed tight, but the corners of his mouth twitch a little as he fights an even bigger smile.

He feels familiar, but you can’t figure out why. Maybe you’ve seen him before. He’s the kind of good looking you’d see on tv or in a magazine, but he also looks like your cute childhood crush all grown up. So now you suddenly wonder what business you have being in front of him. Did Choonhee really think this was a good blind date?

Maybe for you. Seungmin could probably have anyone he wanted.

“You’re very handsome.”

The lines around his mouth deepen. His hand jumps up to cover it as his lips finally break open to make way for a tiny laugh. He replaces his hand with his coffee cup, sipping around a shy smile. “Thank you.” But he shakes his head a little when he says it.

You catch a glimpse of the braces he’s instinctively trying to hide.

“How long have you been here in Korea?” He asks. He can’t keep them hidden while he talks. Well, he could, but you’re sure he’s aware of how silly it would look if he held a hand over his mouth for the entire date.

“Two years…not very long,” you keep yours eyes on his eyes…or on his hands as they fidget with his cup. “I think your English is better than my Korean.”

“Is it?” Seungmin raises his eyebrows, and his face lights up. He bites down on the corner of his lip, making your eyes wander to the metal glint when he flashes his teeth. “Thanks.” He rubs a little at his mouth, probably fighting the habit of covering it again.

You want to tell him to relax; that his braces don’t distract from the rest of him

Seungmin sits up a bit and looks around. A few people have walked by since you sat down, but not many. There’s music playing from somewhere nearby, but you can’t tell where it’s coming from. It’s a soft song you’ve heard many times on the radio at work.

You want him to tell you everything he can about himself, but you don’t want to scare him off. It’s been less than two hours, but you can already feel yourself attaching—falling for him—doing what you always do with anyone who gives you the type of attention Seungmin is giving you tonight. He’s only had eyes for you all night, but occasionally he looks around and gets quiet…a little uncomfortable.. The first date nerves have mostly subsided for you, but maybe they haven’t for him.

“Are you still hungry? We could find somewhere to eat if it’s not too late.” He seems to be searching your face for an answer before he continues. “If it’s not too late to eat, I mean,” he looks down at the time on his phone, “it’s a little late.”

It’s nearly eleven. It is late for you, technically. You’re usually up early, unless you don’t have to be. Maybe he’s an early riser as well.

“It’s not too late, not during the holiday.”

____

Seungmin gets the two of you a ride this time, and you head a few miles closer to the city. There’s so much space between you in the backseat of the car, but he has his body turned toward you as he speaks. He seems to be texting on his phone between your conversation, but it’s the first time he’s been on it all night, aside from getting the car.

“I go here very often, so they know me.”

Pochacco is in your lap. You fidget with him as Seungmin speaks and types at the same time. “I’m glad you like him.”

____

The mask is back on his face as he leads you toward the restaurant. It looks busy from the outside, but the open design makes everything feel calm and quiet. As you’re standing there waiting, you feel his fingers graze against your hand. Your fingers twitch back against his.

A young man, you assume he is one of the hosts, walks over to you and bows. “We have your table ready for you.” He looks at Seungmin, and then to you before gesturing to follow him.

You walk off to the right and a little further beyond the packed bar. There are a fair amount of people in this slightly more private area, but nobody pays much attention as you follow Seungmin and the host to your table.

“What are you hungry for?” Seungmin removes his mask again. “Everything here is very good.”

“I’m not very picky, and I’ll try anything at least once. As long as there are no intestines.”

“Gopchang is not my favorite, but I have a good friend who makes it very well.”

You scan the menu. There’s a surprising amount of dishes listed. “I think I would like to try whatever your favorite dish is.”

“How do you feel about sharing something?”

It’s a cute suggestion and it catches you by surprise. He keeps doing all of the things that make you feel stupid and in love.

“We can both pick something and share them, or share one dish…if you want.” His smile grows a little as he speaks.

You like watching him become more comfortable as the night progresses. Hopefully your calm is making him calm, because you feel much better now than you have the entire day.

“Yeah, let’s share something.” Whatever makes you feel closer to him. One dish between the two of you is the obvious answer. “We should have your favorite.”

“I hope you don’t like spicy. I can’t do spicy.”

“No, I don’t need spicy. Maybe some kimchi, though. I like to try the kimchi everywhere I go.”

Seungmin smiles at you without holding himself back. “Yeah, we should have some kimchi, and Jjajangmyeon as well.” He nods and picks up his tea, but doesn’t take a drink. Instead he looks at you with curious eyes. The edge of the glass sits lightly against his lower lip.

You feel a little flutter in your chest just from looking at him now. “You should smile like that more often.”

“No,” He says it bluntly but playfully. “Maybe in a few months when they’re finally off.”

A little wave of sadness washes over you, but passes quickly. “You can smile for me, I like it.”

The buzzing of a phone interrupts you, but your eyes linger on his softening face for another few seconds. It’s Choonhee needing an update. You don’t want to be rude and you definitely don’t want to be distracted from working on figuring him out—or making him smile more.

But then another text message dings. It’s not you this time. Seungmin reaches into his pocket and glances quickly at his screen. “Should we answer her?”

____

You only reply to Choonhee’s text after your order has been placed and Seungmin excuses himself from the table.

“Yeah, all good still”

He LIKES YOU

You feel goosebumps break out all over your skin when you read her reply.

“He’s a little bit of a mystery. How did you meet him? Why didn’t I know you used to work at JYPE??”

You send the message, hoping you get an answer before he comes back. But a reply doesn’t pop up until a few minutes after he’s returned and food is brought out to the table.

Seungmin begins splitting the food between the two of you. “You can answer her, it’s okay.”

“No, I’m not worried about it. I’ll text her later.”

It doesn’t hurt to glance down at the message, though. All it says is “Kim Seungmin likes you (ง¬᎑¬)ว”

You give the air in front of you an irritated sigh.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin stops as he’s fixing his food. His brow wrinkles a bit with concern. It’s very cute. “Did I give you too much?”

“No no, I wasn’t sighing at you, Seungmin.” You pick up your chopsticks and situate your food in front of you, but wait for him before you dig into what looks like very good kimchi. “I just…looked at Choonhee’s text. She drives me crazy sometimes.”

“She also drives me crazy. She was very persistent about us meeting each other.”

“She wouldn’t let me say no.”

You both take a bite of food together.

“She’s very lucky it’s a holiday and I could get time away, though she probably would have kept pestering me.” He takes another bite, watching you curiously as you do the same. “Did you want to say no? You didn’t want to come?”

“Did you?”

“I asked you first.”

He’s funny. “I didn’t, only because I don’t really like blind dates. I don’t like going into anything…blind.”

“That’s understandable. I did want to come, but also I didn’t, because dating for me is difficult and sometimes awkward for the other person. But a while ago I told Choonhee I wanted to make more foreign friends. She doesn’t forget things.”

“Does work keep you very busy?” Now seems like the time to really pry. “Is that why dating is so hard?”

“Work is very busy, yes. I feel like I have to be on 100% of the time, and it can be very exhausting.” He takes a big, messy bite of food, then covers his mouth as he tries not to giggle through it. It takes him a few moments before he can speak again. “That’s one reason why it’s difficult.”

“I am glad I came, though.”

“How is your food?” Just as he asks, the server returns to the table with another plate of food. “Oh, I got us something else.”

“More? I don’t know if I can eat what we have here now.” Your eyes widen at the sight of this new plate of food. “Oh!”

Seungmin laughs and serves you a few pieces of gopchang, “sometimes it takes a few tries before you really appreciate something.”

You gingerly pick up a small piece of intestine and examine it. It jiggles weirdly at the end of your chopsticks. “Okay, so I’ve never actually tried it before.”

“Eat!”

You take the bite, hold it in your mouth for a second, then chew.

“No?”

You swallow hard, then shake your head at him. “No.”

“Well, at least you tried it.” He pulls the plate back toward him and takes a few bites. “Eat some kimchi and get the taste out of your mouth.” He laughs at the grimace still stuck on your face.

“It might take more than that,” but you do, and then a long drink of your tea. Your phone buzzes again.

“Tell her that…we have decided to just spend the remainder of the holiday together. And that she shouldn’t worry about us.”

Your face gets hot, even though he’s definitely just goofing around. When you look up at him he’s calmly eating, looking down at the messages that popped up on his own phone.

“I think she’s having fun with us.”

“This time it’s Chan Hyung checking up on me. He is a worrier.”

“That’s sweet of him. Did you tell him you’re in good hands?”

Seungmin nods and laughs, “I did.” His eyes catch the light and sparkle at you as he leans closer across the table. “He will worry until I’m back home, though.”

“Do you live with him?”

“I’m at my parents house for the holiday, but normally yes. Well, nearby. I have three roommates. And the other four, including him, live together. But basically we all live together.”

Each time you ask him a question, the answer makes you a little more confused than if you hadn’t asked anything at all. You sit back in your chair and let out a long sigh, fold your arms across your chest. “That’s a lot of roommates.”

“I’m so used to it, we’ve been together for a while now.”

“I’m gonna run to the restroom, I’ll be back.” You grab your bag and your phone. Seungmin gives you a nod.

Once you manage to find the bathroom, you have a seat on one of the squishy chairs and pull your phone back out. Choonhee’s last text message is still on your lock screen…

Kim Seungmin likes you (ง¬᎑¬)ว

You start typing…

"I can’t seem to figure him out. He’s so sweet and easy to talk to, but why is everything about him so…"

So what? You’re not even sure where this message is going.

"…he’s different?? He’s TOO sweet, too good looking. Help me out here."

Now you wait for a reply, hoping she’s glued to her phone so you’re not stuck in here for too long. Two girls, maybe a little younger than you, walk in while you wait, and both look at you directly as they pass by. One lingers on you and heads to the mirror to fix her makeup, the other disappears into a stall. You keep your eyes on your phone, but you still see her watching you from the corner of your eye.

Buzz buzz

Why are you so paranoid? You better trust me.

You push the call button and wait for her to pick up.

“Annyeeoong!”

“I am not paranoid! You threw me into this and now you’re picking on me.”

“I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’m not trying to pick on you!” She laughs, though.

“Every time I ask him something, I’m more confused,” you lower your voice as the two girls walk by and leave the bathroom.

“Did you google him? I gave you his full name.”

“No, I haven’t googled him. Why would I google him? Is that a joke? Who wears designer jewelry and has seven roommates?” You’re whispering, but trying to convey your irritation at the same time.

She laughs again.

“I have to get back out there before he thinks I got lost.”

“I’m glad you two like each other!”

“BYE”

Now all you can think about is figuring out who he is before you lay eyes on him again. But do you want to know now? Maybe later would be best, well after you’re home safe and the pressure is gone. The last thing you want is to make everything awkward.

But you’re very good at making things awkward.

A few seconds later you pull up the browser on your phone and type out his name. Why is she setting you up with someone you can google in the first place?

K i m S e u n g-

You stop and stare at the screen. No clues pop up in the auto search. It’s a very common name, but…

You finish. You hit ‘go’.

It loads quickly, and the first thing that pops up is his face. HIS face. Seungmin’s sweet face. Only his hair is much darker in this photo. But it’s him. The weird feeling of falling hits; you feel a little lightheaded. You thought he was a little odd and a little too good to be true, but this…

“Oh my god, you set me up with an idol.”

Another person enters the bathroom and you jump. They pay no attention to you, thankfully.

“And he’s five years younger than me.”

A deep breath in, and a long slow breath out. You’re back on your feet and out of the bathroom. Can you even remember where your table is? Yes, there it is. You see the back of Seungmins pretty head…he’s on his phone, texting it looks like.

Another nice, deep breath. Why the hell did she set you up with an idol? You’re not surprised you didn’t know who he was, though. You don’t listen to much pop music; even the kids at school haven’t introduced you to this particular group. The name doesn’t sound familiar, anyway. You have a few confiscated photocards in your desk drawer. You’re sure he’s not one of them, but you can’t wait to get back to school and check now.

You walk back over, calm and cool and not like you were just losing it a little in the bathroom.

“Welcome back!” He smiles as you sit and puts his phone away.

Now you look at him and realize just how good looking he is. Of course he’s an idol, what else could a face like that be? And he’s a main vocalist. He sings. You…kind of sing.

“So, Seungmin…”

He answers with a soft hmm? as he chews his food.

“Do you sing? Or play anything? You said earlier that you liked music.”

He nods and smiles, swallows his bite, “I sing, yes! And I like playing guitar and piano, but I don’t do that as often as I’d like.”

“I would love to hear you sing.” You say it sincerely, because you mean it. His speaking voice is so nice, you’re certain his singing voice is even more beautiful.

“I would love to hear you sing!” He adjusts himself in his chair like he’s trying to get himself closer to you, but there’s nowhere else to go. His face is somehow brighter. “We should do that…we should sing.”

“You wanna sing with me? I doubt I can sing as well as you.”

“We don’t know that!”

You rest your chin in your cupped hands and smile at him. He smiles, too. You think his smile might be your favorite thing about him. “I do know.” But there’s so many things to like.

“Oh,” his head cocks to the side a bit. Another thing you really like, and he does it a lot. He’s staring through you and it feels like he’s hearing every thought that’s currently flying around your brain. “You know?”

“What I don’t know is…” putting it into the right words is difficult for some reason, and your tone of voice has accidentally come out a little cold. You don’t want to come off as rude or ungrateful of his company. You like him, but it’s suddenly become a little bit weird, and very complicated. “I just don’t feel like we…” you stop again to think. You suddenly feel really stupid for talking at all. “I guess I just don’t understand why you seem to…like me.”

All of your insecurities have suddenly jumped to the front of the line, and it’s clouding your vision. The things you were so happy about before are now being pushed down by your own stupid, stupid thoughts.

“Hm?” Seungmin’s face falls a little. He’s sitting still, and for the first time, he’s stopped eating. He can really put away a lot of food for being so slender. “Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize, Seungmin. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just having-“

“Second thoughts.” He says it matter-of-factly; no inflection.

Everything you say now is coming out all wrong. The words in your head and the words coming out of your mouth aren’t matching up. Your heart is starting to pound, and you feel warm, but not in a good way. Not in the cute, blushy way Seungmin was making you feel before.

“Would you like me to take you home? I can get us a car. Or I can get you a car.” He wrings his hands and reaches for his phone.

“No, no don’t do that,” Your chest feels tight and your words almost get caught in your throat. You stop and think about your next words, because right now you’re not doing a great job of speaking. “I’m sorry, I’m really not very good at this. Dating, talking to people, getting my thoughts out properly.”

Seungmin puts his phone down on the table, thinks for a moment… “I do like you. But I haven’t been very honest, so I am very sorry for that. I would like to be honest with you, if you’ll stay.”

You look down at your lap and realize you’ve been squeezing Pochacco the entire time. You release him, run your thumb over him. “Yeah, I do wanna stay.”

His face his confused, innocent, and soft all at once as he stares at you. There’s a little concern there, as well. You can tell he’s wondering what happened in the few minutes you left the table. He also might be nervous about telling you who he is.

He clears his throat and takes a drink, preparing himself to tell you what you already know. You hate making him do this here.

“I know you’re an idol. You don’t have to explain anything.”

Relief washes over his face, and then slowly, realization. “Is that why you’re upset? You left the table…you were okay before that. Please don’t be angry with me.”

“I was just trying to figure you out. And I understand why you were hesitant about it.” You keep your voice as soft as possible, as steady as you can manage. You’re not angry at him. How you could you possibly be mad at him while he’s looking at you like that? “Maybe we can go back to before, when I didn’t know...”

“It’s so hard meeting people genuinely…people who don’t already know who you are.”

There’s a long silence between the two of you, and looking up at him again suddenly feels impossible. You stare down at your blank phone, almost hoping a text message will come through. Something needs to break the tension.

Nothing happens.

You almost feel like crying. Your throat tightens and your eyes start to sting from not blinking. “Can we go somewhere else?” The words finally come out of you. “Somewhere with less people.”

“Yeah, we can.”

____

It’s much colder now. And it’s late; well after midnight. You weren’t expecting the date to go on this long. In fact, you had the night planned for yourself once you got home. A few episodes of the drama you’re currently watching, and maybe a drink or two. Warm, under a big blanket.

But now you’re suddenly starring in your own drama.

Seungmin stands in front of you, blocking the slight breeze. You let out a big yawn.

“I’m sorry I’m keeping you out so late.” He steps a little closer when a gust of wind whips by.

“You’re not,” you try to smile at him, but your face feels a little numb. “I can leave whenever I want to, right?”

“Right.” He nods sharply. “Thank you for not leaving.”

“Would it be inappropriate to ask you back to my apartment?”

“Huh?” His mouth hangs open a little.

“I don’t know anywhere else where we could be alone.”

“Uhm, well, it would be a little inappropriate I guess. But I wouldn’t mind if you asked.”

A car pulls up to the curb next to you.

____

The apartment is not ready for any guests, especially not the celebrity variety. You left a mess on your way out—clothes all over the floor, dishes in the sink. But maybe it’s not as bad you’re imagining. This will strictly be a living room visit. And it won’t be long.

“This feels so strange.” He says as the elevator door slides opens on the 5th floor.

“What does? Going home with someone?”

“Yes.” Another blunt answer. His tone is still playful, even after what you’re putting him through. He follows you until you stop in front of your door and fumble with your keys.

You look back at him as you push open the door, “I won’t keep you here long, I promise.”

It’s not as bad inside as you were imagining. You shake his jacket off and hang it above the not-so-neat row of shoes inside the door. Seungmin slides his off and places them next to yours. “I can make you more coffee if you’d like.”

“Sure, if you’d like me to stay that long.”

“Sit.” You point to the couch and head to the kitchen.

Halfway through your work, you notice him leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. He watches silently. You pretend you don’t see him. Above you the fluorescent light buzzes and flickers a bit. It’s the only light in the kitchen right now. The warmth of the apartment and the smell of coffee brewing brings you back down to earth a bit, and you desperately need that before you start talking again.

Seungmin speaks up first, though. It startles you.

“I’m not really allowed to date.”

“What?” You take both mugs in your hands and walk closer to him.

“I mean, I am…but they prefer we don’t. At least not for a while. I would probably get in trouble if anyone recognized me while we were together earlier.” He takes his mug from you and holds it under his nose.

“Why?” Your mind snaps back to the girl eyeing you in the bathroom. You didn’t even think about it until now.

“Well, I didn’t get permission, for one thing. And it helps with keeping the idol illusion alive if we’re not seen with others like that.”

“I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”

He waves his hand at you, pushes away your words. “It’s okay. I get into trouble all the time.”

“Do you?”

Seungmin nods and smiles as he sips his coffee.

You grin at him.

Now that you’re alone together, finding the right words might come a little easier. The tv is on, volume low, just to break the dead silence in the room. He’s sitting back comfortably on your couch with his coffee to his lips, and his legs loosely crossed. You can’t help but watch them as his foot bounces.

Meanwhile, he’s looking at you with soft (maybe a little tired?) eyes. “You have me to yourself now.” His voice is a little tired, too. It makes him sound flirty and…well, you don’t wanna think about that too much.

A nod is all you can manage before speaks again.

“I like this one.”

“You like what?”

“This drama. I finished it recently.”

The silence is a little less tense now, but the room still feels heavy. “Did you really come out tonight to find a new friend?” You’re sweating. The heat is probably up too high, you need to open a window or something.

“Did you?” Now he’s sitting up a little and he pushes the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbow.

It’s nice to see more of his skin. “No.” You watch his hands as they rub the denim on his thighs. “I should open a window, it’s a little warm in here.” You can feel his eyes on you as you walk to the other side of the room. It makes you nervous. You push the curtain aside, unlock the window, and slide it up.

The rush of cool air is exactly what you need. Your hear your phone buzz on the side table where you threw it. You pretend you don’t notice it when you get back to his side.

“Choonhee wants you…” he almost sings it. He must know you have no other friends.

You imagine one of the conversations between Seungmin and her; Choonhee would say something to make you sound so great and fun, but you don’t like putting yourself out there and making new friends, so you need little push now and then.

Which is entirely true.

“It’s not her,” you lie, just to throw him off for a moment.

“Oh, is it your next date?” His tone is so flat and dry, but the look on his face tells you he doesn’t really think that. Or maybe he’s not sure, and he wants to be sure.

Instead of answering, you just let your eyes linger on his while you pull open your messages.

Well? Are you home yet? Don’t make me worry

”Yes, I’m home. 'Kim Seungmin (ง¬᎑¬)ว' is here too”

Three bouncing dots pop up the second after you hit send. Probably the fastest she’s ever replied to you.

YOU TOOK HIM HOME WITH YOU??!!

And then another…

ԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ)

And more…

( ˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)ε｀●)

◠◡◠(´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ꞈ ͡༎ຶ `)◡◠◡

"OKAY STOP IT", You finally reply

Okay okay sorry but you took him home with you???

”I felt weird asking him, but yes. I also felt weird being out in public when I found out who he was”

OH you knoooow. Okay. Just don’t do anything to him, I kinda forgot to mention he’s a bit younger

”Yeah, I figured that out on my own”

He’s a good boy

”Okay I’m done talking to you tonight”

You throw your phone on the table next to you.

Seungmin readjusts himself so he’s facing in your direction. “Have you watched Hometown Cha Cha Cha?”

There’s far less space between you and him now. His cheeks are pink. It’s still too warm in here.

“I have, yeah. Sorry, I can’t adjust the heat.” You don’t even know why you mentioned the heat. His closeness is throwing you off. You can feel his breath on you.

“I’m okay, this hoodie is just too cozy.” He pushes the sleeves back down and opts for removing it completely. He pulls it off very easily, but the back of his shirt pulls up along with it for a brief moment, showing you a little skin. He catches it quickly and shakes his head to fix his hair.

“I have a song in that one.” He says as he neatly rolls it and places it on the arm of the couch.

“You have a what?” Now you’re distracted my his thin black t-shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders.

He catches you staring at not his face, “a song…in that drama. You heard it I’m sure.”

“Oh, wow…you’re right, I’ve definitely heard you sing, then.” You grab the remote again and scroll until you find YouTube. It takes a stupid long time to load (“you have bad wifi up here” — “thanks, I know”) but once it finally does, you start typing his name into the search bar.

“The song is called Here Always. Your search will be full of lots of other weird things if you only search my name.”

“Oh, how weird?” You search anyway and investigate. “Vlogs…are these official idol vlogs?”

“Yes,” he laughs at that. “I’m filming one right now while on holiday. I didn’t bring my camera with me, though.”

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t be in your vlog.”

“They’re usually pretty boring anyway.”

You search properly now, throwing the title of the song next to his name. You plan on watching those other videos later.

When you look at him, he has his hands cupped against his cheeks, and he sinks down in the couch a little.

“Are you being shy? You really don’t come off as the shy type.”

“No, I’m fine.” He giggles and relaxes a little.

Now you sit back against the couch, close enough to him that your arms are lightly touching. The video you choose is a clip compilation from the drama, so he at least won’t have to stare at himself as you listen.

Without realizing it, you manage to sink further into your seat as the song plays, and by the time it ends, your cheek is pressed firmly against the fabric on his shoulder. He hasn’t moved, though. So you don’t move. His body is warm and he smells nice, so why should you move? You decide to just stay put and let YouTube choose the next video.

The description says Love Poem, KINGDOM EP8. You can read the names, written in Hangul. Eunkwang, Seungmin, Jongho. You’re pleased with yourself, because your reading comprehension is not as good as it could be.

A soft sigh dances over your ear. You look up, trying not to disturb him too much. Seungmin is sleeping soundly, head back against the couch. You hate to wake him, but he definitely cannot spend the night here.

You want to hear more of his singing, though, so you watch it, and then another, and eventually you lose track of how many Seungmin compilation videos you’ve seen. Group interviews, Seungmin fancams. You almost forget you’re watching videos of the guy who’s sleeping next to you.

But it’s gotten so late. You carefully sit yourself up on your knees and look down on his sleeping face.

“Seungmin…” you whisper. He doesn’t move. His mouth opens a little as he lets out a deep breath, and you can just make out his front teeth against the light pink of his lips. “Seung-“

His eyes open slowly, and he lets out a long, drawn out hmmm before closing his eyes again.

“Hey, you gotta wake up,” you go to place your hand against his forehead, but stop yourself. “Neoneun il-eonaya hae.”

“Your Korean sounds nice,” he opens his eyes again and watches you set your hand back down on the top of the couch. “Say something else.”

You think, not knowing what to say now.” Uh…uhm, neo janeun moseub-i gwiyeowo boyeo.” You speak carefully, maybe a little too carefully, but Seungmin smiles deeply and fully.

And then he laughs a little. A very sleepy laugh. “Gomawo.” He sings out the o at the end little, making it sound even more informal than it should be. “I’m awake. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I’m glad you’re comfortable. But maybe next time.”

“Maybe next time?”

“You can stay.”

“I can stay?”

You nod, and a brief moment of boldness runs through you. You pick your hand up again and set it against his forehead, pushing his hair up and out of the way. He lets you touch him without protest, in fact, he seems to relax even more under you.

His eyes close, but after a few second, he opens one a little to look at you. “Well?” He says.

“Well…what?”

“I thought you were going to kiss me.”

Your whole body heats up, and you quietly suck in a breath, but you keep your voice from showing how much that knocked you off balance. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

His head moves back and forth a little like he’s thinking about it, and that forces you hand up further into his hair. “Only if you want to.”

You do, so when he closes his eyes again, you carefully lean in and hover just above his lips. You’re not sure when you’ll see him again after tonight, so you want to take in as much of the moment as possible. His eyes open again, and he stares at you. They slowly move down your face until they find your mouth. You quickly close the space and he returns the kiss eagerly, but very gently.

It lasts much longer than you expect it to. He sits up and cups your cheek in his hand as he finds a better position, but it only lasts a few more seconds after that. He pulls away slowly and wipes at his lower lip as he watches you.

No words come to mind, so you just keep quiet and look at him.

“Was that okay?” Seungmin asks. He’s all braces, and the apples of his cheeks are flushed.

“Yeah, that was okay,” You have to force yourself not to go for his mouth a second time. “I’ve never kissed someone with braces before.”

He covers his mouth with the back of his hand, but he still smiles behind them. “Was it weird?”

“No, it wasn’t.” You lean in, move his hand, and kiss him again.

When you pull apart, he rakes his fingers through his hair and relaxes sideways against the couch so his body is still turned toward you. You quietly look at each other; you wish you could read his mind. All that’s going through your head is that this is it. This is all you get. You probably won’t see him again.

Not that he’d purposely ghost you; he doesn’t look the type. But his lifestyle doesn’t seem to allow for the type of relationship you want. You’re way too clingy for this.

“How often do you come home on holidays?”

“Not often enough,” he looks at you like he now knows what you’re thinking. “I’m sorry.”

You place your hand on the back of his neck and pull him into another kiss. And then a phone goes off.

“Oh it’s me,” Seungmin takes his phone from his back pocket and looks at his screen, “I’m sorry, I have to answer this.”

“It’s alright, go ahead.”

He gets up from the couch and answers the call. You can tell from Seungmins tone and language that whoever it is is older, probably one of his roommates, most likely the same one who texted him hours ago. You try not to pry, but it’s impossible not to listen in this small apartment, and it’s useless to ignore when you’re only getting half of the conversation. Your brain just naturally wants to fill in the rest.

“….mos han geo…mianhae…”

He turns and faces you, gives you a shy smile.

“Na jigeum jib-e ganeun jung-Iya”

A few more exchanged words and he ends the call. He returns to the couch, but doesn’t sit again, so you stand with him. He grabs his hoodie and throws it back on without a word, but he does look at his phone again.

“Do you have a ride home?”

Seungmin smiles warmly at you and steps closer, “yes, I have a ride on the way now.”

You assumed he did. He probably has people ready to wait on him at anytime of the day or night. You assume. Honestly, you have no idea what an idols private life is really like. Except for this date, of course.

“I should head down to the lobby, it shouldn’t take long for them to arrive.”

“Can I go with you? To wait in the lobby, I mean.”

He’s halfway to his shoes when he stops and turns to you, “yes, I would like that.”

____

It’s chilly down here, but it’s empty and quiet. You sit closely together on the sofa while he shows you a video on his phone.

“They always steal my phone for livestreams and videos, so I have so much on here.”

The video was taken by one of the other members in his group, because Seungmin is in this one. They’re backstage goofing off with each other, eating, taking selfies, taking photos of each other.

“When is this from?”

“Three months ago. We were in Busan.” He goes back to his album and pulls up a photo he took of himself and another member. “This is from the same night.”

“I like your makeup here,” you zoom in on his face, and then back out. “You have very pretty eyes.”

He smiles and rubs his shoulder into yours a little.

“Who is this with you?”

“That’s Chan, the one who just called me. He’s our leader, and he takes his responsibility to us very seriously.”

“Well, I’m glad he cares about you so much.”

Just as he locks his phone, a notification comes through. His ride is pulling up in front of the apartment building, and it’s time for him to leave.

“Seungmin…” you stand with him and walk toward the doors. “I know you’re probably very busy, but would it be okay if I kept in touch? And I understand if that wouldn’t work.” You feel very bold just bringing it up, but if he doesn’t, you’ll be left wondering until Choonhee finds out for you. You need to know now.

“I don’t think we’d make very good friends,” he laughs and grabs your arm gently, tugging you a little closer.

You pull him the rest of the way into a hug and hold him there for as long as possible. “We wouldn’t.”

“Goodnight. Thank you for not leaving in the middle of our date.”

You squeeze him a little tighter, thinking about how you’ve never had a first date where you actually had difficulty letting the person leave.

“Wow,” when you finally let him go he stares down at you, “nice hug. I will get your number from Choonhee, and I will text you. If that’s alright.”

“You better.”

“Goodnight.”

He turns, walks through the doors, and disappears into the back of a car. And then he’s gone.

You wait there for a few more moments before heading back up the elevator and into your apartment.

His scent is lingering in the warm room. You close the door behind you and turn to kick off your shoes. His denim jacket is hanging on the hook in front of you.

Are You Sure?

Hello, the name is Gem ✧⭑๋

This is the first fic I have ever written, and I have been sitting on it for a few months entirely too nervous to post it. I know typically fics tend to be short but this one flew out of me and I could not stop. I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts however please be nice to me for I am but a ｡⋆୨soft baby୧⋆｡ I hope you enjoy my story that came to me after watching every video of Lee Minho going camping over and over again ᵔᴗᵔ

✶ Word Count: 13k

★ Genre: !afab reader x Lee Minho

✹ Rating: Explicit 18+ Minors Do Not Enter

★ Comments: Tropes used: oops one bed; friends to lovers. Fluff and yearning. Slow to smut but it gets there. Felix and Seungmin make an appearance. M & F receiving oral ; unprotected consensual sex ; light spanking ; some cursing.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪.

You're sitting on your hands, with your feet hanging off the dock looking out onto the clear lake before you. The water is still enough that you can see your reflection when you look over the edge. You pull a hand from under you and absentmindedly put a strand of hair back behind your ear.

The air is warm, but the shade from the tree nearest to you is covering the top half of your body and you silently thank it for shielding your head from the beating sun. You feel the vibrations of movement on the deck before you hear the footsteps and you're immediately reminded of the knot in your stomach, the tension in the air that has been pulling at you for the last 20 hours.

You're aware that you've been sitting here by yourself for a while but cannot place how long that could have possibly been. The footsteps approach and stop next to you; glancing down to your right you see his sandaled feet and slowly trail up to see his half smile, left side of his lip curled and his eyes looking soft and half closed.

He's dressed differently now than when you parted with the guys and came to sit at the dock. Soft black shorts, a black shirt with the sleeves cut off, a baseball hat sits on his head barely revealing fading blond hair around the tips of his ears. He's holding a small wicker basket, though you can't see its contents.

"Hi, Minho" you say softly - as your eyes fall back to your lap, curling your hands around the hem of your shorts. He chuckles a little.

"Would you like one?" You hear him grab something and the sound of a glass clinking together. You look back up and see he's holding out a bottle of soju, your favorite flavor.

You pretend to read a watch on your wrist that you don't have - " I suppose now is as good a time as any. "

You try to shine a sincere smile up at him and hope he doesn't catch that your joke may have a double meaning. You grab the bottle from him; he moves a little bit forward and gracefully but forcefully plops himself down over the edge next to you, quickly realizing he has slips on and pulling them off and setting them down next to him, along with the basket. Minho grabs another bottle and two tiny clear cups and offers you one with a sly grin and kind eyes.

You shake your head, "Thank you, but I don't think I'll need that at the moment". Twisting the cap off your bottle, you hold it out to him for a cheers.

His smile softens a little, air blowing out of his nose like he's trying not to judge you and clinks your glasses together. You turn straight ahead again and pull a long swig from the bottle relishing in the sweet taste of strawberries. He opens his and takes a long swig too, opting to go the same route as you perhaps to ease the tension or maybe he needs it, too.

A silence falls around you and him. It's gentle but the quiet tension is still there from last night and this morning. He's sitting a little closer than you had expected him to. A flash from last night pings through your head and you wince at the thought.

It's been 5 months since you last saw him. Although you text quite often, and he calls you occasionally to check in, just like he always has since you met him 4 years ago- the distance has grown recently and become a little harder for you, even though you'd never admit it. Last time you spoke on the phone he invited you to this vacation.

You were a little nervous at the thought of tagging along with him and a few of his roommates on a camping trip, but you couldn't fight the need to be by his side again, so you accepted.

Every day, thoughts spin in your head about him. Each time the feelings become more vivid, more real, and precise. The corner of his lips when he smirks. How his entire face lights up, head tilts back and eyes crease when he laughs at one of your dumb jokes. No matter how desperately you try, the images and thoughts always fight their way to the surface.

"Neulbo..." His voice is incredibly soft and teasing, trailing the nickname out a little long but it snaps you out of the small trance you were in. You look over to him with a squint of pretend aggravation. He lets out a loud, quick couple of punctuated ‘hahas' and smacks his knee. He knows the nickname annoys you but not in a bad way. It’s true, you are lazy, but only because you like to enjoy the little things in life.           

              Just like this moment.

"Have you reconsidered my offer to go fishing tomorrow morning? I think you'll be good at it since it doesn't take any skill." He winks. "Plus, it’s a perfect relaxation moment for a little sloth like you. It’s just like what we’re doing right now but - with stinky bait and a pole."

He finishes the last sentence with a cheesy grin, his perfect bunny teeth showing, head tilted a little- like he knows his charms are working on you.

"If it also involves some of this, then I suppose it can't be too bad. But I'm still debating!" You hold up your drink and take another long swig as you look him in the eyes. He doesn't look away as it drops from your lips, and you clasp it in both hands. His face falls to a more serious look and the knot in your stomach swirls.

In your head you're repeating, please don't bring it up, please don't bring it up, please don't bring it up. But he does...

"I'm sorry about last night. Seungmin can be a little instigator and doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. And it certainly doesn't help that Yongbokie can sometimes be clueless. They mean well but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable during our time here. Only I am allowed to make you feel uncomfortable." He quickly reaches out and pinches your thigh and you let out a squeak.

He's always known how to break the tension in most situations- by making a funny face at you, saying something absolutely random that it catches everyone off guard, or simply screeching in the most ungodly way that everyone bursts out in laughter. This moment is no different.

The tension subsides except for the small pull in your stomach- you're not sure that will ever go away. He's not wrong about Felix either. You've been around him enough to know that his sunshine demeanor and kind soul is no facade. He would never intentionally make you feel awkward.

Seungmin on the other hand... He knew what he was doing. It was already determined during the group text when you guys were planning the trip that you and Minho would share one of the glamping tents while Felix and Seungmin shared the other. It made the most sense since you didn't know the others as well as him. What you didn't know, was that Seungmin had purposefully booked one with two small cots and another with one larger cot. That little shit. And since they got there before you and Minho, they had already picked the one with the two small cots.

After dramatically rubbing your thigh and making an exaggerated frown, you look back up at him,

"Felix is lucky he's so adorable. However, Seungmin is on my shit list."

He punches out a laugh with a fake shocked expression on his face. You continue, "I truly don't mind sharing a room with you, we've done it before. But hiding condoms under the pillow and loudly playing "Let's Get it On" from his phone pressed up against the side of our tent was him digging his own grave."

You smile and laugh a little, taking another sip as he falls back against the dock covering his face with his arm, his nose pressed into his elbow. He's really laughing now. It's pure and loud and makes you laugh harder. You turn your body towards him slightly, fold your right leg and put your elbow on your knee to look at him writhing in laughter.

It truly was funny what Seungmin did, but it did make you extremely aware that you would be sleeping very close to Minho all weekend. You continue to trail your eyes over him as he laughs. First to his perfectly toned arm laying over his face, down his chest that's bouncing softly with each laugh, falling to the slit that his shirt is making right over the top of his shorts giving you the tiniest, thrilling view of his tight stomach muscles, finally to his thighs... strong, thick muscles... perfect to sit on, or even bite... 

The silence rings in your ear a moment and you are acutely aware that he has stopped laughing. Your eyes dart back to his face to see that he’s dropped his arm and was watching while you were very much staring down at his legs.

You see the smallest hint of a smirk across his lips - but you don't linger - and quickly bring your bottle up to slam the rest of your drink. He sighs softly and leans back up to a sitting position. With the way you turned to see him laughing, when he comes all the way upright, the closeness between you two is aggressively narrower than before.

Since this proximity is not new to either of you, you try not to move away so as not to seem startled by the sudden closeness, but your heart is beating rapidly; you hope he can't hear it or sense the tingles that run down your spine when his knee brushes yours. You remind yourself again that this is not abnormal, you've even rested your head on his shoulder a few times while watching a movie on the couch. But something in the air has felt different this weekend. Palpable.

"I suppose the guys will be back in the next half hour or so." He takes another sip of his drink and looks straight out across the lake.

You follow his eyes and take in the sight with him. The sun is just barely starting to fall slowly behind the mountains. This spot truly is serene. Out of the corner of your eye you can see his profile. Sharp but delicate. You turn ever so slightly to pretend you're looking at the oncoming sunset. His skin has become more honey-like since summer has started, and you hadn't noticed before, but he turned his hat backwards. Annoyingly attractive.

Although the lake sits still in front of you there is a faint sound of the river that flows behind the campsite and connects to the lake up above. You feel the heat rise slowly in your stomach but stop yourself. This is Lee Minho, your friend...

You shake out of your thoughts, smile and say, "I bet you 15,000 won Felix tripped and fell at some point."

He turns to you with a mischievous look "I bet you 15,000 more that Min tripped him"- Your hand raises to your lips with big eyes, and you can't help but giggle. His had bolts up and grabs the yours that was covering your mouth, "Let's go hide some of Min’s stuff!" He stands and pulls you up with him.

"I would love nothing more!" you say as you squeeze his hand.

You both remain for a second longer then would be normal with your hands lightly clasped, feeling an approaching heat flush up on your cheekbones, you pull your hand away to secure a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Also, you brought ALL of the soju for us?? Did you expect us to drink all of that just sitting out here?!" you look over his shoulder at the basket he brought. Sure enough, it had a bag at the bottom with ice and 6 bottles of soju sitting in it.

He turns around and points down at the basket "Firstly, that's not ALL the soju we have. But also, I wasn't quite sure how you were feeling. You opted out of the hike and then told us you'd wait by the lake. I figured maybe... if you didn't want to come back, we could sit here and drink heavily until we'd have to crawl to camp later for bed." He looks up with another sneaky half smile and a chuckle in the back of his throat.

His words were playful, but you can't help but notice that lying within those words was concern for you. Was it only concern? Or maybe he wanted to spend some alone time with you? You blink away the thoughts quickly.

"However fun that really does sound, I really want to mess with Minnie, and I am getting pretty hungry." You reach down to grab the basket, but he swats your hand away and wags his finger at you.

" Nuh uhh, my clumsy Neulbo."

You pull the towel tightly around your chest and tuck the top part in between your cleavage. The showers at the campsite are bleak but it got the job done. During your shower your mind continued to betray you. Your thoughts couldn't help wandering towards the way Minho's thighs looked flat against the dock, shivering at the thought of tracing your fingers over the defined muscles...

However, the cold water helped free your mind from the slight fog of the bottle of soju you inhaled while sitting with him at the dock, and your stomach was screaming at this point.

During the group text, Felix had brought up hot dogs for dinner and you were excited at the idea of having an American styled camping dinner. You missed your home but being in Korea for the past 5 years has been the kind of adventure and change your soul really needed. Besides, after meeting Minho a year into your time here everything really fell into place. It was an immediate connection. Both of you being on the more reserved side but still craving adventure, music and food. And damn did Minho know his food.

That's how you know that dinner isn't going to just be hot dogs. If anything, Minho has made at least 10 other side dishes, and you're not mad about that.

You quickly towel dry your hair and slip into your outfit. It’s still decently hot so you picked an oversized graphic tee with the collar and sleeves cut off, so it falls down one shoulder, your bandeau bra shows slightly on the sides, and jean shorts that are a little shorter than you remembered.

"Oh, wow Noona, you're absolutely glowing!" Felix says with a bright smile and a cute wave as you walk back into the opening of your campsite. You stick your tongue out to the side and wink as you pass him by to place your things inside your tent.

Minho had made the bed and even picked your jacket and purse off the ground and put them onto a hook at the back of the tent. You chuckle to yourself and throw your dirty clothes on top of your luggage in the corner, knowing he'll pester you later about your laziness. Right now, you're too hungry and ready for another drink to care.

"That's absolutely not how it works, and you have lost, just accept it." Seungmin is sitting back in a camping chair speaking to Felix who is dramatically waving his hands in the air.

"You can't only suggest word games with me and expect me to ever win a single round. If it was in English, I could win!" Felix stomps over to a large brown bag that they filled with games for the trip and pulls out Jenga. "We're switching to physical games, I'm too soft and tired for your mind games Min".

Pulling a bottle of soju out of the cooler you glance over to Minho who is working studiously over an open fire cooking. He's carefully turning over huge sausages on the grill and using a white towel here and there to wipe beads of sweat from his forehead.

You notice that the table next to him is just as you expect it to be, filled with small plates of Korean meats and side dishes. The man can never go without being extra when it comes to food. You bend back down to pick up another bottle of soju and a water bottle and mosey over to him.

"This looks like thirsty work." You outstretch your left hand that holds both a bottle of soju and water to him.

You can really see the sweat on his face and neck now. A single drip comes down from the corner of his forehead, slowly falling down his cheek to the swoop of his neck; he catches it with the towel pressing it down around his neck and onto the bit of chest that's showing from the top of his shirt.

His eyes blink at the drinks several times in serious thought and grabs both.

"At least someone appreciates my hard work out here." He gives you a small toothy smile and sets the soju down, twisting the water bottle cap off and chugging most of it in one go.

"I haven't seen that shirt in a while. I like what you've done with it." He points the water bottle at your shirt and goes back to drinking it.

You truly didn't think he'd remember giving you this shirt years ago. It was within the first year you guys became close. Being the clumsy person you are, when you were at his apartment you had spilled an entire glass of red wine on your new blouse; he demanded you take it off immediately so he could wash it in cold water and gave you one of his old t-shirts to wear. It was comfy and you liked the design. But you liked it especially because it was his.

"Oh," you chuckle nervously- "I hope you don't mind. You said I could keep it and it felt like the perfect shirt to make into a summer fit." You glance down at the cartoon cats high fiving on the front of the shirt and pull at the bottom hem a little.

"No, no. I don't mind. You somehow turned my old dusty shirt into a thing of fashion. Let's try not to ruin this one too, huh? I couldn't bear the thought of the kitties being thrown into the trash tonight. There is only so much heartache one can go through in life." His playful smirk is back on his lips again as he turns back to the fire to pull the food off the grill and place it on the table.

"Alright you animals, come eat before it gets cold and Lino gets angry!" He clanks the tongs together a few times towards Felix and Seungmin and they are up out of their seats headed to the table before he even finishes the sentence.

The food is outrageous. You can't help but wonder if it's because you're so hungry or purely because Minho can make anything delicious no matter where he is or what supplies he has. The sun had fully set, and you and Felix clicked on all the lamps during dinner. Conversation was fun and easy like it usually is between all of you. You, Felix and Seungmin played rock, paper, scissors to decide who had to take all the trash to the animal safe bins and by no surprise Felix lost.

The drinks flowed swiftly now. The remaining soju was finished, and everyone ripped into the case of beer Seungmin had brought. There was whining and groaning about fishing in the morning, but Minho held firm that everyone had to participate. As the night dwindled, the games became too much of a hassle and eyes grew sleepy, Felix and Seungmin waved half-hearted goodnights as they dragged their feet to their tent.

You were slightly bent over towards a small faucet coming from the ground, rinsing your hands free of some soap and the remnants of dinner and a Jello candy you had for dessert when you're caught off guard by a voice right behind you -

"Are you going to use all the water from the well?" Minho says just above a whisper- your heart jumps and you stumble forward catching the faucet on your hip falling a swift path to landing on your face.

As your stomach flips at the plummet, you feel yourself stop midair. His hand is holding tight to the top of the back of your shorts while the other quickly finds its way right below your belly button to stop your fall. The fear you had a moment ago all at once turns to relief as you dissolve into laughter.

"What the hell Lino, you scared me! How are you so quiet with all these damn twigs everywhere!" You're still giggling quite loudly as you try to straighten yourself up.

The hand holding your shorts lets go warily, but the one on your stomach holds firm helping you get your balance pulling you back up and closer to him. You did not realize you were still a little tipsy, but it is apparent now as you teeter backwards flat against his chest. Both your hands come up to meet his over your belly as it softens from the adrenaline-fueled laughter.

"Someone still seems a little affected by the drinks tonight." His laugh is low, but you can tell by the way it sounds that he has that mischievous smile on his lips again.

He still hasn't made an effort to let go of you and you're unsure if that's because he's nervous to let you go if you might fall or if he's happy to have the sensation of your body pressed up against his and your hands laid gently over his.

"Let's say we take a night stroll by the river. I promise I'll try my best not to push you in no matter how strong the urge is." He squeezes you a little tighter now before grabbing one of your wrists to turn you around and starts to lead the way, not looking back to witness the flush on your cheeks.

The walk to the river’s edge isn’t far. You stopped at the camp to grab another bottle of water before continuing. The short walk was quiet which was not uncommon with you and Minho. Silence never really bothered either of you when you were together. Usually filled with giggles at whatever anime or new movies you happily dived into. Or silent looks and gestures at food or scenery you enjoyed.

But tonight, you wanted him to talk. Even though he spoke plenty with you and the guys at dinner, it was different when it was just the two of you. His voice had this special edge, and his tone would lilt upwards unlike his more serious voice when around others.

"Thanks for making us hot dogs Lino. Even though they were most certainly sausages and not Ball Park Franks like I'd usually have at home." You skipped up next to him with your hands behind your back pushing playfully into his shoulder.

"I've never heard of them, but they sound unhealthy." He looks over at you one eyebrow raised blinking a few times, "I'm confident these were better." He chuckles softly and pushes back into your shoulder.

The sun had set hours ago but there was a clear view of the moon on the other side of the river giving you the perfect amount of light to see his feline eyes patrolling the ground for large rocks and pointing them out or guiding the both of you around them.

You scoff and turn your head up a little at his diss of your favorite guilty pleasure food, that is admittedly not that healthy.

"Not every meal has to be a perfect balance of nutrition you know. People are allowed to enjoy a little junk food once in a while!" You both laugh again, smiling at each other very well knowing you've made midnight runs to the corner store for ice cream plenty of times together.

"Thanks for bringing me on this trip too. I definitely was not expecting the invite." You say this part a little quieter than the last.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" His response is quick, his tone is matter of fact.

"I guess I just didn't anticipate it at all." You're looking down at your feet now. He looks over at you, but you don't look up.

"Well now you're sounding ridiculous." He says this one through a huff that could have been a laugh. But for some reason you can’t match it. You're not sure why, but you suspect it has something to do with the knot that's still in your stomach, keeping you tethered to some sort of unspeakable tension.

"Either way, I was surprised. I sort of started feeling like you'd forgotten about me." As soon as you said it you felt foolish. He stops dead in his tracks.

"What made you think that?" His voice sounds more serious now than when he was retorting your statements earlier, with a tone of concern as if he thinks he's done something wrong.

You stop too and turn towards him as your hands come up waving in front of your face with your head shaking back and forth. The bottle in your hand has a tiny bit of water left in it and is making a small sloshing sound as your vigorously waving. He reaches up and grabs it, sliding it into his back pocket; the action is done before you can realize it’s happening.

"I just meant that..." you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you calculate the right words to say how you've been feeling but not too acute that you sound crazy. He's looking at you more intently now as he watches you think. Patiently waiting for your response.

You meet his eyes- "Ever since the last time we hung out, when we went to that cafe, you've been sort of more reserved? I'm not sure if that's the right word or if I'm just imagining things."

Your face is flushed now but you're hoping the cover of night is making it hard to see. He squints his eyes slightly and now you can see the gears in his head turning.

His arms come forward and he crosses them in front of him for a moment; then they fall quickly to his sides, and he puts his hands into the front pockets of his sweats. It’s almost as if he found something particular he wanted to say but decided against it.

"If I'm being honest, I didn't realize I had been acting differently." He picks up his hat off his head, combs his hand through his hair, sets it back down on his head and sticks his hands back in his pockets.

You can see clearly now his brows are furrowed. You reach up and cover your eyes with one hand and rub them with your thumb and middle finger realizing now just how stupid it was for you to bring this up,

 "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to make you feel weird." Your hand drops down to see he has a grin back on his face. It's slight and his shoulders are pushed back into a more relaxed position now.

"Nonsense. I'm always weird." His grin widens, curled at the corners more with a small number of teeth showing. It softens when he continues. "But I'm glad you did bring it up because I suppose when I think of it, I have been a little distant and I'm happy to be more aware of it now."

You're not exactly sure what that means but you're too nervous to be direct and ask outright. Is he happy to be aware that he's been distant so he can try to not be? This is the first time in a while you've spoken about something so serious with him so you're unsure how to continue it.

You realize you've been silent for a little longer than anticipated as questions roll around in your head.

Instead of acknowledging his statement out loud you turn and point down the path. "There is a bench up ahead and it’s calling my name."

As you start moving ahead, you hear him chuckle and follow behind you. The air is slightly brisk now. But the heat over your body from the embarrassment of bringing that up makes you wish for a large cool breeze to wash over you.

You reach the bench quickly. It’s made from a log of wood, carved out with an L shape so you can sit and lean back against it. It’s quite small too. Just enough for two people to sit comfortably.

You sit on the farther end pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around your legs as he tosses the water bottle into the trash and sits next to you, legs stretched out in front of him leaning back with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Ahhhhh" he sighs loudly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath inwards from his nose, his head tilted up at the sky. He looks stunning in this light. His sharp features are softer, more rounded in the low light of the moon. It’s almost as if you're in a black and white film. His eyes stay closed for a moment longer before they open to look at you, looking at him. Your lips press together, turning into a thin line of a barely visible smile.

He quirks one side of his lips up and pulls his hands out of his pockets to clasp them together and place them on his lap.

"So then, what made you decide to come? And don't tell me it was your excitement for fishing because I know that will be a lie," he says with a faux serious look on his face.

A loud laugh bursts from you "You're going to be so mad when I catch the biggest fish out of all of you tomorrow. I know I'm clumsy, but my luck is insurmountable."

You can tell he doesn't deny it by the shake of his head as he returns your laughter. But he doesn't respond, clearly waiting for your real answer. You drop your hands down to your sides and shuffle a bit in your position pulling your legs a little tighter inward towards your body. Thinking back to that initial invitation and the excitement he had when you accepted it, you realize that maybe it's not too serious of a thing to admit that you missed him...

"To be honest, it’s been a while since I had a really good laugh. If feels better when I get to laugh with you instead of at my phone." It's not the whole truth, but it's what you're willing to say at the moment.

"I'm glad I can bring you some relief." He raises his left arm and leans it back on the bench turning his body slightly towards yours. He gives you much more than just relief, but you're not sure how to tell him.

"Well, what made you want to invite me on this trip?" It's time for you to ask the questions.

You look over at him now, keeping your eyes as soft and clear as you can manage despite the craving in your chest to hear certain words come from him, trying desperately not to expect anything. He looks out across the river with a shy smile on his lips and then turns to look you right in the eyes and speaks softly -

"I missed you."

He said it. The thing you were too scared to say. Plain and simple. Your heart stutters a bit as you try not to make a face. Against your wishes your lips part as you take your next breath and then it turns into a smile. He can definitely see the red in your cheeks now because he stares more keenly.

A surge in your stomach flows through you at that moment. Something just clicked and became clear to you that you hadn't noticed before or even thought twice about. How come Seungmin did those things last night?

As far as you can remember, he has never done anything like that before when you we're over at their apartment. Even the times you drifted off to sleep on the couch after staying up too late watching something or talking with Minho. What was different this time?

His last words seem to embolden you for a moment as the next question slips past your lips quicker than you can vet them in your mind. "Did Seungmin do those things last night for a reason?"

Your heart is hammering in your chest now. You really didn't think you'd have the courage to ask that. You went from semi-innocent questions to one with a significant undertone. However he looks a little more nervous than you for a moment.

He chuckles anxiously but you're unsure if it’s at the awkwardness of your question, or at the surprise of what he wants to answer. His pause is drawn out a little longer -

"I told him not to do anything stupid, but you know how he is. When he gets an idea to mess with someone he rarely can be stopped. A while back, he may have figured out something even I wasn't fully conscious of yet."

The implications of his statement are not lost on you. While he's not outright saying what you believe he's thinking, you're quite used to the way he speaks. His eyes search yours; they are a bit darker now, piercing, and you fight desperately not to look away. The tension that has been here all weekend was not in your head.

He tilts his head to the side, still gazing at you like he knows you're lost for words. You've never been good with saying what you mean out loud and he knows this, but he's being patient with you.

"I...." You pause for a moment as you draw in a shaky breath. "Are you saying something has changed?".

Your hand comes up to your mouth as you fiddle with your bottom lip, a nervous habit of yours he knows well. He reaches up and grabs your hand to pull it away from your mouth and down between the two of you. He rubs a small circle over the top of your thumb as he's looking down at them gently clasped together -

 "It doesn't have to if you don't want it to," he says in a low voice.

It feels as if your head is spinning. This must be why he was so distant lately. Fighting with his own thoughts on how to speak to you with this new knowledge in his head. You think back to December, when you realized he had started acting a little strange.

"Why did you wait so long to say anything to me?!" It comes as a surprise to you too as the words come out.

His head falls back as he laughs, eyes creasing in the way that reminds you just of how much you adore him. His hand releases yours and moves to grab your ankle pulling your right leg out and across his lap. He trails a hand up your shin and grabs your calf as his head falls back down to look at you.

"I may be incredibly smart and handsome, but I can be an idiot sometimes too." His smile is sly and mischievous again. His words are silly, but you're suddenly snapped back into reality at the feeling of his hand on your skin. A current runs up your leg and straight into the center of your stomach.

Before you let yourself chicken out, you move your other leg out and across his lap turning to face him completely, immediately craving more touch. His arm moves to let you, and finds its way around both your legs, resting his arm across and his hand placed delicately on your knee.

Your hands come down in your lap as you look down at them, twisting a ring around on your finger. Your legs feel heavy like they want to press completely against his strong thighs. Having the courage to move closer still didn't change your nervousness to look into his eyes. Hoping silently that perhaps your body language is answering better than your words can. You’ve thought about this moment a lot. You've danced the words around in your head while speaking with him face to face. But saying them, that was different.

After a long moment, you speak up quietly -

"I would like that."

You hope he knows you are answering his question earlier about things changing between you two. You peek your eyes up at him, slowly raising your head. "For things to change," you say, just in case to clarify.

His eyes are softer now but he's biting his lower lip. Then the corner of his lips sweeps up again,

"Are you sure?" He asks after a beat, like he's letting your words sink around him.

You can feel the tension snap inside of you, and the only way you know how to make him feel what your body has been screaming for, is by showing him.

Your hands come up to his cheeks as you close your eyes and press a soft kiss to his lips, holding there for a moment. His lips are so soft, and you've wanted to kiss them for years. You feel his right hand slide up from your knee to the side of your thigh and squeeze lightly as his other comes up and lands on the back of your neck.

The nerves in your body light on fire. His hand on your neck guides your head to tilt a little and deepen the kiss. Pressing together a few more times, still gently. It feels surreal. You can smell his skin better now; a deep woodsy smell mixed with salt and some of his shampoo from his shower earlier. It's intoxicating and you want to inhale him completely. The mix of his hands on you and the closeness of your bodies kicks off a need in you.

He pulls away and you make a sharp inhale. Your eyes open to see his trained on yours. They are dark and lustful, ones you have never seen before. The look in his eyes feels almost as if he had to pull away and look at you like he needed to check and make sure you were real.

The next kiss is hungrier than the last. He shifts his body over on the bench to get closer to yours, his firm legs now pressing up against the bottom of your thighs closing the gap as far as he can.

He lets out a low "mmmm" at the back of his throat as your lips start moving faster, parting just enough to pull his lip into your mouth and suck softly. Dragging your teeth against his skin, drawing another noise from him.

The sound jolts your body and sends a spark straight down, deep in your center where everything is swirling, moving too fast for your mind to focus on. Your hands release from his face and slide down to his shoulders, running over his defined muscles, stopping to feel them, then wrapping around his neck and locking him in.

You can feel the vulnerable apprehension of your kisses as the speed continues to pick up. You want to taste him more. It feels like you should have been doing this forever. His hands let go of your face and neck, then are instantly at your hips. Clutching tightly. You shiver and your lips disconnect again.

"Come here." He says through a soft grin as he pulls you up and over him easily. Your legs spread over him until your knees are on either side and your ass is resting perfectly on his lap. It's very apparent now that he's starting to harden in his sweats. You press down against him, rolling your hips cautiously so you can feel him more, straddling his perfect frame.

His hands find your hips again as he grabs you, holding you down against him as his head falls back and lets out an excited sigh. You can't help but smile and delight in the way he looks crazed already.

"Why did it take so long for me to tell you?" He laughs as he leans back in to kiss you. This time, he dips his tongue out of his mouth and into yours. You moan as he swirls the muscle around in your mouth and you reciprocate. Languidly, taking your time to taste him.

You pull away after a minute, breathless and filled with desire- "I'm not sure, but I don't want to wait anymore."

He looks up at you and presses a hand to your cheek as he watches your eyes, hazy, filled with lust and staring at his lips. His thumb rubs back and forth on your cheek, "Should we go back to the tent?" He looks carefully at you waiting until your eyes meet his.

"Please." And you nod a few times. It's all the confirmation he needs before he stands up, holding you, wrapping your legs around him and starting to walk back the way you came.

His steps back start very fast. His hands grabbing your thighs tightly as they're wrapped around his waist. Your kisses had only just begun, and you don’t want to stop now. Your arms locked around his neck, pressing your lips to his over and over trying your best to line them up despite the awkward angle.

His right arm wraps itself around your back as his left holds you up by your ass. His steps slow as he pulls his head back and chuckles, "Despite not wanting to let go of you, If I don't put you down, I will likely trip and we will both go into the water."

He stops completely, attempting to let you down. Your legs tighten around him as you tilt his head back for another kiss; you finally have the right angle, passionate, pushing your tongue past his lips to taste him again.

Your tongues dance around each other, testing movements and finding a perfect rhythm. He moans as you pull on his bottom lip again, giving you confirmation that he likes it as much as you like doing it; there’s a small popping noise as you pull away.

"That's fair. Only because I know I'd have to rescue you, and I'm not sure I am strong enough." You giggle as you release your legs and connect your lips to his again. Not letting go from the kiss even as your feet are planted on the ground.

You step back and sigh, a little breathless from how hungry you were feeling in the moment. Everything is moving so fast your mind hasn't really taken a second to think about anything other than him. It all felt so natural, like it was meant to happen. Alone in nature, with your favorite person, mixing both your needs and wants together in a swirl of excitement.

He turns you around and gently but firmly slaps your ass to get you moving.

"I've spent years staring at your perfect ass. I need to see it without clothes on soon or I might die". He walks up next to you and puts his arm around your waist fiddling with the hem of your shirt, sending small shivers up your spine, guiding you quicker towards the camp.

Years?

"How long have you known?" You ask as you glance over at him.

"It's always been there." He's looking forward in contemplation.

"Well you said something changed. I guess... what was it?"

He takes a deep breath as he arranges his thoughts. His hand moving around your lower back in small circles as if he's grounding himself to you.

"I'm not sure anything changed really. I think it just became clearer." His hand moves again and closes around the base of your neck, possessively. You shudder a bit at how soft but strong his hands are, trying not to show how much that simple act turned you on.

"I started realizing things like how your voice made me feel. Like how it calms me when I'm feeling stressed- or how you match my energy when I'm excited about something. My thoughts became deeper, and it just clicked. I was nervous for a while, to mess things up between us, but I knew I didn't want you as 'just a friend' anymore."

Your belly whirls in warmth as you hear the words. You pull them apart in your mind. Embedding them into your memory. Then, your feelings quickly build in a vortex of restlessness seeing the path open to your campsite. You've had enough talking and you need him. Now.

He lowers his arm and strides in front of you a little bit to get to the tent, pulling the Velcro apart slowly, trying not to be too loud. You register quite quickly that his roommate’s tent isn't exactly next to yours, but still close enough that they could potentially hear you. You make a mental note of that as he holds a side open for you to step into your tent.

Hear you? Oh god, is this really happening?

His smile is playful, and his eyes are following you as you kick your sandals off and move past him through the opening.

The second you make it to the middle of the tent it becomes all too real what's about to happen. What you desperately want to happen. Your stomach tightens and your breath quickens as a panic fills your body mixed with anticipation.

But before the feeling takes over, you feel him pressed up behind you again, one hand is on your stomach and the other runs from one side of your collarbones to the other, then slowly up your neck, to your chin, guiding your head to the side to kiss him over your shoulder.

Your breath trembles but your body relaxes against his, immediately settling into his touch- bringing all those feelings down your body, tingling in your fingertips and building in your core. He held you like this earlier, but this time it was different.

Your lips move together as his hand leaves your chin, back down your neck to your chest where it slips beneath the top of your shirt and over your shoulder, the inner corner of his elbow around your neck.

You instinctively reach up to grab his arm feeling completely encompassed by him, running your fingers over his toned muscles. A short high-pitched whine escapes your mouth as his other hand slips under the bottom of your shirt placing his firm hand on your bare stomach.

"Your skin is so soft... I want to taste every inch of it..." He breathes out between you.

A chill runs down your spine at his low voice- as his lips come away from yours and smooth against your neck. Your head falls back onto his shoulder giving him better access as you moan quietly from the sensation.

Your back arches and your ass grinds back into his cock where you can feel it straining against his sweats. He moves his lips back and forth, teasing the skin, giving you goosebumps, then starts taking small bites and placing kisses anywhere his mouth can reach.

He leads the two of you forward, lips not leaving your neck, taking small steps towards the bottom end of the bed. As you reach it, his hands come back down to your waist and slowly turns you around.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you're face to face with him, his eyes are filled with desire, almost closed, with his mouth open slightly breathing deeply.

"You can," you reach out and put your hands on his chest, kissing him again. " You can taste it... you can have all of it..." Your words are whispers as you kiss him deeply. Making sure he feels your words, tastes the ache your body has for him.

You assume he receives it because his hands are pulling at your shirt now, asking to lift it up over your arms. You stick them up as you let him pull his old t-shirt up and over your head and onto a pillow on the bed. Your bra is still there, hiding what you know he wants to see. You feel a little shy for a moment, then pull it up and off, revealing your round full breasts for him.

"Fuck..." he says under his breath; then almost as if he senses your shyness at being topless in front of him, he yanks his shirt off over his head and presses your bodies together wrapping one arm around your back, leaning forward, pushing you slowly back onto the bed to lay on top of you.

He kisses you delicately now, like he's savoring the moment, lips coming together for soft pecks. Then moves to your cheek, down your neck, stopping first at the soft spot just below your jaw, shifting his body to start going lower. The way he's laying on you, fitting between your open legs so perfectly, you can't help but wrap them around him. You know he can feel the heat coming from your lower half.

He continues down your chest, kissing softly and tracing his hands down your sides. He takes his time with his mouth on each breast, starting on one, kissing the peak of your now very hard nipples, then swirling his tongue around and finally pulling them into his mouth- eyes closed, like he's truly relishing the taste of your skin. Your mouth parts and faint moans fall from you- shuddering every time he gently bites your nipples.

You've never felt your heartbeat so fast before, feeling like you may not even make it out of this alive at the rate your body reacts to his every touch. His hands come up and graze over your arms that lie flat against the bed as he continues his path of kisses down onto your stomach. Then they’re quickly at your waist pulling your body down, positioning your ass is at the edge of the bed. You gasp at the sudden movement, realizing what he wants to do.

"Lino..." your voice comes out in a whine as your eyes pinch shut for a second, body racing at just the thought of him between your legs.

"Hrmmm?" he hums out, his eyes not leaving your frame, hands tracing over every part of open skin he can come in contact with. You can’t form words to answer back, instead just squirming under his touch.

"May I take these off?" His hands cusp around the top of your jean shorts, one of his thumbs playing with the button as he looks up at you for confirmation. You lock eyes for the first time in a few minutes; he looks crazed but calm. You nod your head and lift from the bed slightly so he can unbutton and pull them off easier, down your legs and he tosses them towards your luggage.

You giggle a little as your shorts hit the pile - "So you can do that, but I can't?" Your voice is teasing but low.

He huffs and waves a hand "We'll talk about that later, right now I need you to do something for me."

You sit up on your elbows looking at him confused, his brows are bunched up and he licks his lips -

"I really need you to turn over so I can see your ass in these lace panties before I rip them off."

Your head tilts back as you laugh at how incredibly serious his face is with that statement, but quickly comply and roll over onto your stomach so he can get a clear view. You've always been proud of the shape and size of your ass. Never skipping squats when working out but never going too far so it stays soft and plump.

You hear him suck in a breath, hissing between his teeth as his hands come down to caress your cheeks. His thumbs go under the creases as he kneads into your soft skin getting as much of a handful his hands can allow. He pushes up with his palms and spreads your cheeks getting a clear view of how much you've soaked through your panties. Another sound escapes him, like he was holding his breath and blows the air out slowly.

You smirk at his intensity and wiggle your ass back and forth a little. A quick smack comes down on your right cheek that punches out a breath from you.

"mmmm...ohmygod" you purr out.

His hand quickly soothes over where he made the connection. "I had a feeling you'd like that." You can tell in his voice he's saying this through a smile.

Both of his hands slide up your back, then down to your ass, sliding flat up under your panties pulling them tight against your pussy, grabbing firmly now on your soft flesh. You're surprised by the cool, yet warm sensation of his lips followed immediately by a bite. You yelp quietly but intuitively push yourself into him more. He continues licking and biting each cheek, letting out soft grunting noises like he's a man starved who hasn't eaten in weeks.

His movements slow, lips trail down to where your panties are pulled tight against you, stopping right as he gets to the center. His hands push your legs apart slightly and lets out a breath, so warm against your aching skin. Your brain short circuits when you feel the first contact of his lips pressing a soft unrushed kiss on the fabric right over your clit leaving himself there for a moment. He pulls away and kisses again, with more pressure.

"Lino, please," you whine, your voice cracking a little.

*smack*

Another swift slap comes down, this time on your other cheek. Leaving no time for you to react he's yanking your panties down your legs and off you, before effortlessly turning you over. You're laying breathless for a moment, gathering yourself.

"Do you know how long I've been wanting to do this," his lips meet your right thigh, trailing kisses up towards your center and propping your leg over his shoulder. "There will be no rushing through this."

He pushes your left leg out, opening you further for him and you're instantly aware that you are lying completely naked, spread out, in front of the man you've longed for all these years.

He takes his time tracing lines on your left thigh with his fingers while kissing your right until he's planting them right around exactly where you need him to be. You can hear his breath deepen for a moment, then licks a stripe from the bottom of your pussy up to the top and pulls your clit between his plush lips and sucks.

The moan that escapes you is loud. Your hands grip the blanket as your body is already crumbling from his mouth. His tongue drags along you again dipping into your center to taste all the wetness he's created from this antagonizing slow pace he's controlling. He hums in appreciation and starts to circle around your clit with his tongue with the most perfect amount of pressure.

He's always been pretty in tune with you from the get-go. But the way he seems to know what to do, what your body wants, is thrilling to you. You squirm and push against him, vying for some sort of control as you feel yourself getting hazy.

He carries on his work, expertly lapping at you and pulling you into his mouth to suck and swirl his tongue around. You prop yourself up on your elbows not wanting to miss the sight of him between your legs. His eyes are closed, seemingly peaceful, despite the ravening way his mouth and head are moving to do exactly what he said he wanted and taste all of you.

Your eyes flutter as a familiar sensation builds up in your body, but you force them to stay open looking down at the insane sight of the most beautiful man enjoying you. His eyes open as he hears your breath quicken. You lock eyes with his and your head spins, the muscles in your legs tightening. His eyes crease as he steadies to slowly trail his tongue up and down you again.

For a moment you're confused, your brows furrow and a whine escapes you. He giggles, then moves his right hand up to your face, bringing his middle and pointer finger together, touching your lips softly, staring intently at them. His tongue doesn't stop moving as he pushes his fingers past your lips, and you dutifully take them in your mouth, sucking on them and swirling your tongue around.

"Mmmm," you hum around his fingers, aware that you've been receiving so much pleasure from him and haven't even started giving him any.

He pulls his head up a little farther to better see your mouth around his fingers. His lips part slowly as he watches you - eyes closed giving his fingers all you can to show him how ready you are for your turn.

His mouth connects to your clit again with more fervor as he brings his now slick fingers down to your entrance. His eyes trained on you, he slowly teases you with the tips of his fingers watching your body and your face as you writhe on the bed. Then before you can get used to the idea of his fingers being down there, he slides them in.

Your head rolls back, and a long breathy moan leaves you followed by a quick breath in. If you were close earlier, you’re quite literally on the edge now.

He feels you clenching around him, your body reacting strongly to every one of his licks, sucks, the curls of his fingers and touches of his other hand on your body, gripping the flesh on your thigh.

"God, you look so beautiful," he says breathy while continuing his work.

Your moans are louder now and for a moment, with his words in your ears, you don't care. But as he continues to put more pressure on a particular spot within you, your whine almost becomes a yell, you quickly bring your hand up to cover your mouth as your start to fall from the edge. He's still staring at you but with soft eyes now, like he really means what he said.

The feeling crashes over you, rippling through your body fast as his fingers and mouth keep pace to help you through it, lips not leaving you once. It undulates through you, taking all the burning from your shoulders, down through your spine, exploding down your center all the way to the tip of your toes leaving a trail, hot in its place. Your arms give out and you fall back on the bed. He slows his movements, letting you ride it out, then sensing your sensitivity, presses slow soft kisses around and on your center removing his fingers.

"Fuck..." you say under your breath as your try to regulate the speed of your heaving chest, ripples still making their way through your body. Legs twitching as he soothes circles on your thighs.

He chuckles and stands up over you between your still open legs, leaning down on his hands to watch you gasp for air. His eyes are squinted, and his lips are curled up into a satisfied grin watching you with what looks like amusement on his face. 

He leans in and whispers in your ear, "I'd gladly do that every day if you'd let me."

Your eyes finally fix on his and you can't help but giggle a bit at your euphoric feeling. His legs start to move forward, pressing into your thighs, pushing your legs and body up farther on the bed. Before he settles down on his knees reaching down for a kiss, you put your hands up to his chest stopping him.

He tilts his head inquisitively and it’s your turn to smirk. You lift yourself up on the bed to sit upright, legs still spread around him, pushing him down on his heels between you and taking his mouth in another heated kiss.

His lips are soft and slick and feel puffy from all his hard work. You kiss them gently as your hands trail down his chest to his stomach right to the hem of his grey sweats.

His hands come up to trace your sides and then find their place on the side of your breasts thumbing your nipples softly and palming at the smooth skin. A moan hits the back of your throat between your kisses, and you pull back to look up at him, tugging on his sweats for permission to pull them down.

You've spent a lot of time looking at Minho since you've known him. You've seen him without a shirt on before once or twice, albeit briefly. But never in this context - and the way he looks now, in the low lamp light from the corner of the room, looking down at you with a blaze in his eyes and his chest rising and falling in anticipation. You're certain he is the most stunning creature to walk this planet.

He must have seen the reverence in your eyes because he reaches out to push a piece of hair behind your ear and smiles sweetly at you. You have to remind yourself of the task at hand before you get lost appreciating him. You trail your eyes back down to the now extremely noticeable bulge in his pants.

You lick your lips, "May I?" As you go back to tugging on his sweats, mimicking what he asked you earlier.

He laughs, "You may."

You pull them down along with his boxers, freeing his cock from its strain. It bounces heavily right in front of your face, and you swallow eagerly. It shouldn't be a shock to you how pretty it is. The skin looks like velvet, soft pink and perfectly adorned with a few veins tracing the sides creating perfect patterns for you to touch. His length perfect, his thickness mirroring his thighs. You wrap your hand around the base and squeeze.

His body tenses and he sucks in a hiss as you lick his tip, savoring his flavor with your eyes closed, rolling your tongue around in your mouth. You look up at him with big eyes as you wrap your lips around him embracing his warmth on your tongue.

You start slow just as he did with you. Bobbing your head on his tip, whirling your tongue around - appreciating the feeling of his now fully hard cock in your hand. His head falls back for a moment when you take him further then quickly snaps back to watch you. Your eyes crease as you see the haze in his eyes as his hand comes forward to find its rightful place at the back of your neck.

Your stomach flutters at the feeling which drives you to relax your throat and take him as far as you can, only stopping when your breathing is cut off, but you stay and swallow a few times eliciting a deep groan from him. A sound you're sure you've never heard before but crave to hear again.

Pulling back, you take another deep breath, using the slick you've created on him to twist your hand up and down his length, following with your mouth moving your head side to side.

After a while of creating a pace and soaking in all the beautiful moans and gasps coming from his lips, you break it suddenly, thrusting him down your throat to the base again and stopping to look up at him. His lips are almost in a snarl, his teeth gritted, chest heaving. For the first time all night he says your name; not the cute nickname you pretend to hate but fold inwards on yourself every time he speaks it. Your real name, coming out in the most lustful moan.

He pulls your head back with his strong grip on your neck, slowing his breathing, and relaxing his face, looking at you with fire in his eyes.

"You have no idea how crazy you make me feel," he lets out a long shuddering sigh.

"If you don't stop now, I'm not going to last."

Your hand grips his base a little tighter while still holding his gaze, he shakes his head and lets out a weak laugh with a smile on his lips.

"Then you better push me back on this bed, because I don't want to stop," you stick your tongue out and quickly swipe his tip.

You can see his vision go blurry for a second then his attention snaps back, reaching his hands down to your thighs gripping them and pulling them off the bed, your arms instinctively wrap around his neck to steady yourself, as he hoists you up towards the pillow in a flash.

You land on your back surprised but with a smile adorning your face. He steps off the bed and lets his sweats fall to the floor stepping out of them, powerful legs on full display for you. He drops his hand and lazily strokes himself while looking at you on the bed, his eyes all over your body, like he's making a map of it in his mind. Committing every detail to memory.

A mischievous look comes over his face again as he slowly takes a few steps over towards his bag, where you know he slipped the box of condoms in from last night.

"Wait," you squeak out, fast but quiet.

He turns to you with questioning eyes.

"If you don't mind... we can go without. I'm clean." Your eyes fall down a little. "I really want to feel you..." You take a breath and glance back up at him through your eyelashes.

His eyes are soft but serious, and you can see a hint of thrill in them.

"Are you sure?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

Your eyes roll back softly, still with a smile on your face as you sigh, mildly annoyed at his competence in always making sure things are above water and safe. You raise your arm and tap your bicep a few times hoping he gets what that means,

"For fucks sake Lee Minho, yes, I'm sure. Please get over here before I scream," and you flop back against the pillow.

He chuckles softly but wastes no time, practically jumping on the bed between your thighs, plastering himself against the front of your body. Your lips meet again, and he cages you in with his forearms on both sides of your head. You share a few giggles between kisses as you shake off your declaration becoming aware of his weight pouring over you.

He's leaning over you, pressed against you so fiercely, you can feel his cock throbbing against you and your attention quickly pulls to your core. Your heart begins thumping in your chest again and you shudder when he does a tentative roll of his hips, sliding his cock along your wetness. Your lips fall from his as you suck in air. Breathing deep in the stillness of the moment.

He lets his lips trace your jaw, up to your ear and hums before nibbling right below it, still rolling his hip leisurely.

"I've watched your body from afar for so long." He licks your neck raising goosebumps over your arms.

"The way your hair falls delicately on your shoulders." He kisses you there earning a soft moan from you.

"How you always wear the most perfect fitting jeans to show off your curves." He bites into your lower neck sending a ripple through you.

"Your perfect lips saying my name." He kisses you so delicately on your lips that you think you might cry.

"And now your here, under me, and I never want to lose this." He kisses you with more heat and you have never felt more whole, more alive, with sparks coursing through your body, his words filling every crack and fiber of your being.

"Minho..." His name is a whisper between your kisses, and you feel him reach down a hand. He softly rubs the tip of his cock from the bottom up, spreading your wetness around and massaging your clit. Your breath hitches in your throat in anticipation as he captures your mouth in another kiss. Drowning your thoughts.

He pulls away from the kiss and settles his piercing gaze, looking into your eyes as he lines up with your entrance and slowly pushes in. Nothing could have prepared you for how good it feels. His tip pressing in slowly, filling your warmth and stretching you out so perfectly. The intimacy of the moment and his words still lingering in your ears makes your eyes shut, mouth parting as your arms wrap around his waist.

He bottoms out and stays there. All you can hear is both of your breath, lingering in the space between you. Soaking in the feeling of the moment. It feels like pure bliss. But you need more. You clench around him and his breathing stutters for a moment. You open your eyes to see him looking at you with a beautiful half smile on his face.

You smile back and kiss him, gripping his waist urging him to move. He starts to roll his hips in slow drawn-out circles, hitting every space, every inch within you. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly the knot in your stomach tightens, as he finds a steady rhythm, angling his thrust to hit the right spot. Those damn dancers’ hips.

You've been dreaming of this for so long. And now he's here, in your arms, between your legs and inside of you and everything feels right for the first time in forever. You want to take your time, but your body is a traitor and desperate for more. Moving your hips now to meet his thrust, he leans over on one elbow, using his free hand to roam over your body, grabbing at any and all of your skin, picking up his pace.

It seems as though he senses your impatience, because he readjusts, sitting up on his knees more while his hands come down to your hips to pin you to the bed. You had been cautious of your volume for so long now but the sound that escapes you in that moment is inevitable. You reach up to cover your mouth hoping to quell any more sounds, but he quickly pulls it away and pushes it up above your head.

"No, don't be quiet. I need to hear your every sound. Whoever else hears it, had it coming." His concentration is fierce as he says those words to you, making your stomach coil in heat, head rushing, and whimpers fall from your lips.

You’re certain you’ll be slightly embarrassed tomorrow, but your mind quickly pushes those thoughts aside as your need to give him what he wants overpowers everything else. Your moans grow louder, and your repeating his name through choked out breaths. Your hand that's not secured under his tight grip, finds its way to his arm that's now caressing your thigh to trace his skin.

He looks devastatingly elegant yet rugged above you. Chest heaving, eyes trained down towards where you meet in the middle. Where he’s driving into you, straight towards absolute pleasure. He looks up at you eyeing him, licks his lips, and a sly smile paints his features. As if it were even possible, he pushes up closer against you, using his arm to hook under your knee angling your body even more to hit the most perfect spot over and over again.

A wildfire courses through your veins as your eyes roll back, clenching around him again, quickly approaching your release. You can hear his breathing becoming a little more erratic as his hips stutter a few times giving you the knowledge that he’s not far behind. You use your free hand to grab his arm that's holding yours down and pry it away licking and sucking on his fingers quickly before guiding them down between your bodies.

"Touch me," you ask softly.

You can see the wild excitement in his eyes as he starts rubbing your clit in perfect circles with determination. It doesn’t take long before you’re gripping the sheets tightly beside you, arching your back, ready for the wave to crash over you. He sucks in a deep breath hearing you let out a sinful moan as you’re shaking under him and your second ripple of pleasure streaks down your body.

Your legs try to move and tighten him in a vice grip once the over sensitiveness snakes through your thighs, but his hands are quick to act. He slides both his hands up the back of your legs landing in the crook of your knees and pushing them forward towards your chest. Your breath is pushed out of you once his weight is pressed firmly against your front with forearms flat on the bed, caging you in.

His eyes have never looked more powerful, almost as if he's looking straight into the most secret, venerable part of yourself that you didn't even know existed. His mouth parts and his hot breath only feeds your desire to have him closer, stomach still fluttering in the aftershock. Wiggling your arms free you reach out and caress his face, tracing his bottom lip with your thumb before pulling it into your mouth, humming at his delicious sounds and taste.

"Fuck, I'm..." he mumbles into your mouth, but you don't give him a chance to finish his sentence.

"I know. I want it. I want it so bad, please." You lick into his mouth and wrap your arms around his neck- feeding your fingers through his hair, gripping him as close as you can. You feel his body tense and eyes go wide at your statement and he's gone. Hissing through his teeth, he picks up pace; his head buried in your neck, teeth latching on for a moment followed by the deepest groan that vibrates through your body.

His warmth radiates through you, pushing himself as deep as he can with each slowing pump, hips flush with your ass as he softly trembles through his release. You slip your hands down his back rubbing soft circles and scratching ever so gently as he pants in your ear.

His hands find your legs again as he guides them down and secures them around his waist, still seated deep within you. Your breathing and heartbeats are still settling together as he turns his head to look at you -

"That was, " he huffs out a few low laughs as a smile forms on his lips, and he kisses your jaw, "I don't think words can describe it." He kisses the side of your lips and neck a few more times as he leans up on one elbow, placing a hand on your waist.

A sense of shyness briefly floods you as you turn your head to the side and cover your lips with the tips of your fingers, blushing slightly. He reaches up and pulls your fingers from your mouth, kissing them lightly. You can see adoration in his eyes as he takes in the pink that has flushed over your cheeks and chest.

"That was long overdue." Your smile is relaxed. Your eyes soft on his. You take your fingers locked with his back towards your mouth and repay the soft kisses.

He looks down between the two of you. Wrapped together, sticking sweetly at the skin touching, and slowly starts to pull his body from yours. As he disconnects from you, a shiver runs down your spine at the lack of contact and he rubs your legs while getting up from the bed.

Once again, you're amazed at his silhouette gracefully making his way over to the wooden shelf, grabbing some wipes and a towel.

Your body lays still for him as he delicately cleans you; tracing your finger tip up and down from your navel to your collarbones, eyes closed, basking in the sweet afterglow of the moment. An hours ago, your thoughts were racing, so many uncertainties in the air. Skin prickling anxiety at unsaid feelings and questions floating behind your eyes. But now that comfortable silence sits in the air between you again.

"Scootch," he giggles, as he jostles you to the side with his knee; he pulls the covers out from under you, climbs in and settles them up over the two of you. He reaches out and nestles you in close, your arms pushed up between your chests, face pressed to the column of his neck. You take a deep breath of him, feeling the sudden weight of sleep and the day settle over your skin.

"Don't keep things from me anymore, ok?" Your mouth is in a straight line, slightly pouted, but your eyes are round and playful as you look up at him.

His face is soft, and you can see a hint of mischief behind his eyes before he closes them, kisses your nose and speaks low but just loud enough for you to hear -

"You're stuck with me now. I'm never letting go."

Just so cute? Part I

WC: 5.9k

Comments: This first part is just fluffy, but smut will come in during part two. I was inspired by a video I saw when scrolling on tiktok one time. All the members show up in this one, but it is idol!Seungmin x reader.

⋆｡°✩

You scroll to the next video, and it’s a close up of Han during one of their concerts, yelling about how he “knows sexy.” You let out a chuckle as he starts going down the line of members saying, “Bang Chan, you are sexy! I’m sexy! Lee Know is sexy! I.N is sexy! Felix is sexy! Chan is sexy!” – you make a mental note to tease him about calling Chan sexy twice – “Hyunjin is sexy! I don’t know you, but you’re sexy!”

Why’s he gotta do Binnie like that, you giggle a little at the thought. Then he says, “No, Seungmin is just so cute! Hi puppy!”

You’re honestly a little surprised by how taken aback you are that he deviated and didn’t call Seungmin sexy. It’s a normal, silly Hannie thing to do, but you feel a little bad for Seungmin.

So you go to the search and try to find another angle of the interaction, to see if you can find Seungmin’s reaction. Another video with the entire stage in frame shows that Seungmin (very cutely) waves Han off, turning for a moment to hide his smile. You’re happy to see that he didn’t seem bothered… So why are you? Seungmin is cute. It’s not like Han was being mean or anything. Maybe you’ve just had enough tiktok for the night.

ᯓ★

The first week of August rolls around, the guys are back in town, and you’re on your way to the Cuties Dorm. When you arrive, you barely have a chance to cross the threshold before you’re lifted off your feet in one of Changbin’s signature hugs. You laugh and squeeze him back; you’ve missed these. As you’d expect when spending time with Stray Kids, yelling ensues - voices questioning who is at the door; is food is here; did someone get something delivered; did you forget that the hyungs are picking up food, idiot; who are you calling an idiot?! Luckily, Changbin sets you down before yelling back (still a bit too close to your ear considering how loud he is) that it was you and to calm down before he starts making people calm down.

This obviously just leads to more shouts and a big sigh from Changbin as you head toward the rest. You’re intercepted by Hyunjin and Jeongin, giving a hug and a fist bump, respectively. By the time you make it to the couch, you’ve said hello to a few of the members’ other friends and been momentarily koala-ed by Felix. You settle in next to Jisung on the couch, smiling broadly, happy to be back in this chaotic environment.

Then Seungmin comes into the living room. He stops in front of you and shakes his head. “Jisung, you were supposed to save my seat.”

“I mean the seat is still there,” Jisung points out helpfully. “It just has someone prettier sitting in it. You can always sit on my lap.” He wiggles his eyebrows up at a sighing Seungmin.

“Oh sorry, Min, I’ll – ” You move to give him back his spot on the couch, looking around in vain for another open seat that will help you avoid sitting on the floor. Instead of giving you space to vacate the couch, he slides his body just behind yours, arms wrapping around your middle. He sits, bringing you down to sit on his lap with a small oomph. “Seungmin!”

“It’s fine; we can share.” He reaches his arm across your body to pull your legs so that you angle more towards Jisung. You hesitate for half a second before slinging your arm around his shoulders and shifting a little more so that your lap is almost perpendicular to his, your back against the arm of the couch. His arm wraps around your middle, his big hand coming to rest on the curve of your hip.

Unbidden, that tiktok of the Chicago concert from a couple weeks ago pops into your head; you remember how affronted you were by Han saying Seungmin was cute rather than sexy. You feel heat rise on your cheeks and try to shake it off.

He sees the shake of your head and asks, “Are you uncomfortable? I can sit on the floor.”

You meet Seungmin’s eyes and pray that the blush isn’t noticeable.

What is wrong with me? You wonder. The guys have always been very touchy; this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Felix was literally wrapped around you less than five minutes ago. You shake your head again and tell him, “No, I’m good. You just surprised me a little. I was sure you’d sit on Sungie.”

All three of you laugh at that, and Seungmin’s grip on your hip tightens, just a little bit.

ᯓ★

Aside from that moment of internal weirdness, the party goes well. There’s good food, karaoke, and very intense card games. By now, most of the non-members have left, so it’s just you, Minho’s dancer friend, and Jeongin’s girlfriend still hanging out. You hear a bunch of clinking, and everyone looks towards the kitchen. Felix has three bottles of soju in each hand. Jisung is next to him holding a stack of tiny cups and the jenga box with a wide smile. “Let’s gooooo!”

Felix raises his hands as Jisung yells, bottles clinking together dangerously again.

“Why is Tiny Hands the one with all the bottles?” Jeongin sighs, garnering a laugh from all but Felix, who pouts at him. The Sunshine Twins bring over their goods, setting them on the coffee table. Minho starts pouring cups of soju, knowing what flavors his friends prefer and distributing them accordingly as everyone moves to surround the table. Chan grabs the jenga box and flips it upside down to set it up. With the box halfway off, he pauses and leans in. “Jisung…”

Jisung doesn’t even let him get the question out. “Oh, come on, hyung! We deserve some fun!” The rest of you (rather comically) turn your heads to look at the game, trying to see what Chan sees. You notice what seems to be writing on the side of a couple of the blocks.

“Hyung, you know you’re supposed to write on the bottom so the task isn’t visible before you pull them, right?” Jeongin shakes his head.

Han shoots daggers at Felix. “Bro!”

“I’m sorry!” Felix throws his hands up. “In my defense, it’s only a few.” Chan slides the box the rest of the way off, exposing more clearly incorrectly marked blocks. “... more than 3?”

Everyone’s laughing again as Chan reads off a couple of the blocks, and Jisung is trying to pull Felix into a headlock. “Take a drink. Give out two drinks. Do aegyo for the next two turns. Give the person to your left a forehead smooch. I guess these are fine, as long as everyone wants to play.”

The game is actually really fun. Some tasks written on the blocks are more silly than others, some get a little racy. Hyunjin has to do a freestyle rap about bubbles. Changbin has to give Minho a five second lap dance. He only slaps Changbin’s butt twice within those five seconds; everyone is impressed with his self-restraint. When Jeongin’s block says to take off an item of clothing, he pulls off Felix’s socks and shrugs. “It doesn’t say it has to be an item of my clothing.”

Felix tries and fails to get the rest of you to agree that Innie needs to strip. Then when it’s your turn, the block you pull says ‘kiss someone sexy.’ You tilt your head back with a loud exhale. Jisung is giggling off to your left. “If you need help choosing, I know sexy.”

You can almost see Seungmin’s smile and wave on that concert stage. Without taking time to consider any more, you crawl past Minho and kiss Seungmin directly on the lips. It’s quick, your embarrassment keeps you from lingering, even as you ponder how soft his lips are and what it might be like to give him a proper kiss. There are a few ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ from the group; Felix claps Seungmin on the back, saying he would’ve kissed him, too. Seungmin rolls his eyes at Felix, but other than that he doesn’t really react. You realize belatedly that the block didn’t say you had to kiss him on the lips. You hope that no one comments on that as you add it back to the top of the tower. It wiggles precariously, but stays standing. It makes it two more turns before Felix (of course) knocks it down.

“Should we play again, or should we play something that makes us drink more often?” Minho asks with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Or get another jenga set and write more interesting tasks?” His friend looks just as devious. You haven’t spent much time around him, but it’s clear why he and Minho get along.

“You know you don’t have to wait until the game tells you to drink, right?” Chan looks a little nervous at his friends’ suggestions.

“Yes, but not everyone is.” Minho looks pointedly at the glass Chan has only refilled a few times. “Hannie wants to get wild, Channie Hyung.”

“What if everyone just takes two shots now, and we play again,” Jeongin suggests, his girlfriend eyeing him. You all know he’s a little bit of a lightweight.

Minho rolls his eyes. “Fine, but shots of liquor, not soju. Lix, what do we have in the kitchen?”

Felix scurries off to find more alcohol while Hyunjin sets the tower back up. After sitting around the coffee table to play the first round, everyone else is happy to take the opportunity to stand and stretch a bit, talking about the best parts of the last game. Jisung pulls you over to the hall with a grin. “So Seungmin is your someone sexy, huh?”

“Sungie, you need to get those eyebrows under control.” You will your rising nerves to dissipate. Your comment does nothing to dispel his giddy expression. “You are so ridiculous.”

He laughs. “You don’t have to be embarrassed; Minnie is so cute. I just would’ve thought you’d kiss Hyunjin or Chan Hyung.”

“He’s not just so cute; he is sexy.” You respond without thinking, and his smile somehow widens. “I mean! You know that you’re all hot. All of you. Very sexy. Stop looking at me like that, Han Jisung!” You turn away from him and notice the others are gathering around the tower again. “I think they’re ready to start the next round.”

You walk away without waiting for his response, your cheeks burning. For what feels like the billionth time, you wonder what is wrong with you. Do you.. like Seungmin? You’ve been friends with the guys for such a long time, and while you have had moments of attraction to a few of them, it’s never felt like this before. Even when you kissed them.

When you get back to the coffee table, you’re informed that you’re all moving spots to mix things up, in case of the ‘to your left’ and ‘to your right’ blocks. There are bottles of whiskey, rum, and tequila on the table. You sit across from where you were before, and a shot glass is almost immediately set in front of you. You look up to see Seungmin sitting down on your right with his own shot in hand. He lifts it to you, signaling that you should cheers him. He misreads the look on your face. “Don’t worry, I made sure you got tequila.”

You clink your glass to his, touch it down to the table, sliding it in a circle before bringing it up to your lips.

“I’ve seen you do that before, what is that?” Jeongin’s girlfriend makes a circle motion with her fingers as she asks.

Before you can answer, Changbin pipes up. “Didn’t you say that it’s meant to bring you good orgasms?”

As the others laugh, Seungmin refills your glasses. Quietly, he says, “Better take another one, then, huh?” Just like that, your blush is back.

Everyone else picks up their glasses as well, the lot of you cheersing, everyone adding the circle to their movements. The game gets a little sloppier by the end this time - a combination of everyone drinking a bit lot more liberally and the Bunny Bois (Minho loves it when you all call them that) calling out modifications to the tasks with nearly every pull. There’s more kissing, outlandish impromptu lyrics, a lot more clothes on the floor. More than once someone has tears in their eyes from laughing. It’s a great time.

Jeongin and his girl sneak off before the start of the third round, giggles and low murmurs trailing down the hall behind them. Hyunjin starts off the round sitting behind Changbin, his arms and legs wrapped around him, his chin resting on Binnie’s shoulder. Felix has somehow convinced Chan to leave his shirt off. It’s been quite a while since you’ve all let go so much.

You feel Seungmin’s arm wrap around you again as he rests his head on your shoulder. You steal a glance at his face, eyes skimming past soft lashes and down the gently curved bridge of his nose; your gaze fixes on his lips. They’re so.. pink and perfectly shaped. When Jisung pokes you in the side. You realize you’d been staring, and it’s your turn. He’s giving you a knowing look as you glare back at him. You feel a little better after assigning three Minho butt slaps to him. By the time Minho slings Jisung over his lap and delivers them, you’ve nearly forgotten your annoyance.

Seungmin’s turn is next. His block says to kiss the person on his left’s forehead, but Minho interjects. “Foreheads are for the weak! Kiss her on the lips, Seungminnie!”

“Hyung, you have to tell him how long to kiss!” Felix, that drunken, oblivious backstabber, chimes in. Your traitorous brain hopes for at least 7 seconds. “Five minutes!”

You’re taken out of your internal battle by the ridiculously long suggestion. Everyone is laughing as Seungmin’s hand cups your face and pulls your lips to his. It’s gentle at first, but then his tongue runs along your bottom lip, requesting access. Your lips part, allowing him to deepen the kiss as his hand slides up into your hair. All too soon, he pulls back, and it’s like your ears open to all the whooping and wolf whistles that probably started with the kiss. You both sit back, rosy-cheeked, and the game moves on as if you didn’t just have an earth shattering experience.

You finally understand why you were so bothered by Han’s silliness at the concert.

There’s no question. Kim Seungmin is in fact quite sexy, and you would really like to kiss him again.

ᯓ★

Seungmin is your friend, though. Just like the rest of them. Skinship, including kisses every now and then, is completely normal among the group, definitely not a big deal. The thoughts running through your head right now are quite the opposite. You’ve never craved Felix’s touch. Never had to suppress the urge to lean in to steal another kiss from Chan’s lips, to straddle Hyunjin with your hands buried in his hair while you suck his bottom lip between your teeth.You bite your lip and turn away from him, praying that everyone is too drunk to see how affected you are.

A shout brings your attention back to the game, which has just ended because of Hyunjin tickling Changbin as he tried to pull his next block. No one moves to set the tower up right away, half of them are too busy yelling at Hyunjin about party fouls and a need for punishment, the other half already fighting about what his punishment should be. Only Chan, in the middle of it all, is speaking at a reasonable (read: inaudible) volume, looking pressed. You smile, happy to have a distraction, and crawl over to him.

“Channie! You’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep that up!” You fling your arms around his neck, and he uses your momentum to scoop you into his lap. And it’s completely normal. You know he’s hot as hell, and if he were someone else, such intimate contact might feel different. But it’s just you and Chan, very close, and there’s no desire to pull him into a bed and ravish him. As it should be. You tell yourself not to look back at Seungmin.

“You know they’re going to make him drink something stupid, and he’s gonna end up throwing up.” Chan buries his face into your neck. He sounds exasperated. “And I always have to clean it up and deal with it.”

You can’t help but laugh, giving him a little squeeze. “You say that like you don’t know that as soon as you yell at them, they’ll knock it off.”

“Fatherhood is the worst,” he whines comically. “I don’t wanna be the dad tonight. You do it, Noona.”

“I think you just wanna hear me yell for once.” You pull away from him, relying on his arms around your waist to keep you from tumbling off his lap. “You all need to calm down!”

You honestly didn’t expect it to work so well; you didn’t think you’d be loud enough, but (almost) everyone quiets and looks at you. You can still hear Jisung and the Bunny Bois giggling while they ransack the cabinets for something terrible. “Jinnie, you do deserve a punishment – nope, don’t interrupt me!”

Hyunjin’s ‘but Noona’ is all that comes out before the admonishment, but he squishes his face between his hands, staring at you with big, soft eyes.

You continue, “and Binnie gets to pick it as long as it won’t result in vomit.”

Hyunjin pouts adorably, turning those big eyes on Changbin. Predictably, Binnie crumbles at the cuteness. “Hyunjin has to… do a little magic Mike dance for us.”

His statement is met with a couple sighs and a loud ‘yes’ from Minho as he pops back into the room. Someone moves the coffee table out of the way, and you all pile onto and in front of the couch. This time you’re the one with someone on your lap; Felix is a comforting weight as well as a good block to keep Seungmin out of your line of sight. Once you’re all settled, Minho starts playing “Pony” by Ginuwine. It’s been a minute since any of you have seen the film, but you’re pretty sure he moves exactly like Channing Tatum. Still, empty plastic cups, random clothing, and even a jenga block all go flying at Hyunjin as the guys yell about how he’s not doing it right or needs to be sexier or is blinding them. His dance lasts about 20 seconds before everyone is falling together laughing, and Hyunjin launches himself at Jisung for hitting him in the face with a sock.

ᯓ★

Things start to wind down now that the games are over. Most of the alcohol is gone, and Seungmin is passing out waters. You’re back in Chan’s arms, a common occurrence when you’ve all been drinking together. Over the years, you’ve determined he likes to hold you because you’re shorter than him. He rests his chin on your head, even though you’re not that much shorter. Despite his drunkenness and earlier comment, he still plays his role as dad of the group. “Everyone’s staying here, yeah? All the keys are in the basket? Innie didn’t leave the dorm, did he? They wouldn’t have driven, right? Innie!”

Minho slaps a hand over his mouth before he can yell louder. “Jeongin and his lady retired to bed a while ago, Channie Hyung. No need to worry.” Minho gives him a wink before asking you to make sure he drinks at least two more glasses of water before bed.

You salute Minho as he grabs a bottle of water for himself and starts heading towards the bedrooms, the other half of his duo on his heels. Jisung and Hyunjin already seem to be in the process of passing out on the couch, snuggling while trading slurred insults. Changbin is curled up on the chair snoring, leaving Chan, Felix, Seungmin, and you sitting in a semicircle; Seungmin and Felix are weighing the benefits and consequences of drawing on Changbin’s face.

You bring the next round of waters over, reaching the group in time to hear Felix ask Chan if they’re going to cuddle tonight. Seungmin meets your eyes as you hand him his cup and says, “Sounds like that leaves you in my bed tonight.”

You’d done so well putting those thoughts out of your mind for the last couple hours, but at that simple statement you’re picturing yourself in bed with him. His hands on your hips, his mouth on your neck, your legs wrapped around –

“Noona, are you in there?” Seungmin snaps once in front of your face, bringing you back to reality. He’s got a lazy smile on his face. You almost let yourself get distracted by it again; he’s gotten into the habit of hiding his smile since he got his braces, and you hate it. It does, however, make his already infectious smile a bit more dazzling when he allows you to see it.

You give him a smile back. “Yeah, sorry. Just a little lost in thought.” You glance at your favorite Aussies. Chan’s got his arms around Felix now, who looks like he’s about ready to fall asleep. You look back at Seungmin and nod. “Drink up, guys; it’s time for bed.”

Felix pretends to protest as Chan picks him up to carry him to his room, only really pulling away from him to give you and Seungmin each a half hug and a kiss. Chan puckers his lips at you both, blowing kisses as you all say goodnight. Seungmin links his arm through yours and guides you toward his room.

You stand in the center of his room awkwardly and smack your cheeks, telling yourself to chill out and be normal. You hear Seungmin laugh behind you and turn to face him. “Do you just want a big shirt to wear?” He doesn’t even wait for your answer before tossing one at you and heading to the bathroom.

By the time he returns, you’re wearing nothing but his t-shirt and your panties, sitting on his bed.

“I left a fresh toothbrush on the counter for you.” He barely even glances at you as you hop off the bed and head to the door. You feel a little silly for expecting anything else.

When you get back, you slide in on your side of the bed and lay facing away from him. Seungmin throws his arm across your middle, pulling you over so he can spoon you from behind. He gives you an extra squeeze as he rests his chin on your shoulder. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, it was great. I always love when you guys get back from tour.” You hope he can’t feel your heart hammering in your chest. “What about you, Minnie?”

He gives a contented sigh. “Yeah, I missed you.”

He presses a kiss to your neck, lingering longer than necessary. You turn in his arms to look at him. His eyes are hooded, his gaze boring into yours. You reach up and lightly caress his cheek. “I missed you, too, Seungmin-ah.”

He missed you. You give in to the desire that’s been coursing through you all night and gently pull his lips down to yours. It’s sweet. A softer kiss than before. Perfect. You feel his lips break into a smile against yours and pull away. “Goodnight Noona.”

ᯓ★

The first thing you notice when you wake is Seungmin’s breath in your ear. On other nights when you’ve shared his bed, you might cuddle for a little while, but you don’t typically sleep through the night that way. You’ve never woken to the sensation of his warmth around you, his arm heavy over your waist, his leg slung over one of yours, the top of his thigh pressed to the bottom of your other one. As your awareness spreads, you notice something else you’ve definitely never felt before.

Seungmin’s hardness is pressed into your backside. You consider trying to sneak out of bed without waking him, but when you go to pull his arm away, his grip tightens. Next you try shifting your hips away from his, but with his leg over yours, holding you in place, you end up basically just grinding against him. A low, sleepy moan fills your ear as he snuggles even closer. You resolve to stay still, just wait for him to wake up and pretend you’re still sleeping. It works for a couple minutes, but you’re getting restless. You can’t help but wish you could sneak your hand between your bodies to feel his length, get a sense of how big he is, because from what you can feel, it’s pretty impressive. You try to keep your mind from wandering, from continuing that line of thought. The discomfort of resisting lustful thoughts about your friend manifests in small shifts of your body.

You don’t notice Seungmin’s breathing move from the slow, deep breaths of sleep to a quicker, more purposeful pace. You do, however, notice when his hand flattens against your stomach, stilling your movement. “Everything okay, Noona?”

His voice is deep and gravelly with sleep. You bite your lip and will yourself not to roll your hips back into him to see what that moan might sound like now that he’s awake. You hope you sound like you’ve only just woken up as well. “Mmm morning, Min. I’m good; are you okay?”

You brace yourself to lose the heat of his body now that he’s up, and you mourn the loss of it when he pushes away from you. It doesn’t last long, though. His hand remains on your body; as he settles into place, he pulls on your hip, turning you so that you’re on your back, your side now pressed to his front. Seungmin looks down on you from where he’s propped up on his elbow, his other hand sliding back up to rub across your waist. His expression is solemn, a bit sensual, as his eyes trace your face. You inadvertently pull your lower lip between your teeth again, and he lets out a small sigh.

“Can I ask you something?”

You give a small nod. “Anything.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

You can’t help but smile. You reach up to cup his face, the action answer enough for him. Seungmin lowers his lips to yours, tentative at first, little more than a peck, before he renews his effort, lips parting yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth to dance with yours. His hand reaches around to grab your ass as you turn toward him and slide your leg up over his hip.

Just then, the door opens, startling you apart as Minho’s voice calls in, “It’s time to get up! People need your help with this damn espresso machine, Seungmin-ah.”

You look at each other, breathing heavily. Seungmin sits up first. “I’d better get up. You can wear anything you want.” He looks back down, boba eyes burning into yours. He presses another kiss quick to your lips. “I think we should talk later.”

You nod, and he heads out to the kitchen. You lay there for a moment, waiting for your body to cool down. Did that really just happen? How are you going to talk to him later if you don’t know how you feel? Why have things changed? Because they have changed. You can’t deny it. And you aren’t the only one who realized it. You pull a pair of Seungmin’s shorts on and go looking for Jisung.

ᯓ★

You find a sleepy Jisung snuggled in a chair with Felix. As you approach, the sunshine of Felix’s smile nearly blinds you. “You look like you need caffeine, Noona. Want me to get you a drink?”

You can always count on his sweetness. “Thanks, Lixie. I’ll take over with your baby here.”

Felix heads to the kitchen and you sit with Jisung more or less on top of you. “Hannie, can I talk to you about something?”

His mischievousness from last night is mostly missing from his smile. “Anything for you, Noona. What’s up?”

You resist the urge to pinch him. “Why were you teasing me last night? About Seungmin?”

“Well,” he looks a bit more serious than usual. “You were extremely easy to tease last night.”

You seriously consider dumping him off the chair and just leaving. “I’m gonna tell Lino you were talking shit about his cats, Sung.”

“Nooooo! No, don’t, please.” He stops laughing and takes your hand, peeking up at you while he flips it over and runs his fingers over it. “I don’t know. You had a different energy last night when you were looking at him. Plus, you know he… actually nevermind.”

You pinch his cheeks together with one hand, forcing him to look directly at you. “No nevermind. Finish that sentence, Han Jisung.”

“You’re so hot when you’re angry, Noona.” Han puckers his lips, leaning into your touch and trying to land a kiss. You bop him on the nose. “Okay, okay. Seungminnie has just been talking about you a lot. And when you were looking at him like you wanted to take a bite, then you kissed him… It seemed like things were falling into place.”

You sit dumbfounded for a second. “He’s been talking about me, how?”

Before he can answer, Seungmin arrives with Felix in tow. “I heard you might need something to drink.”

Your cheeks are red, again, and Jisung is giggling, asking where his coffee is. He scoots over as much as possible and Felix plops down on both your laps. Seungmin laughs, asking if you all were really going to sit in the chair together.

Felix sighs into you. “We love being close, Seungminnie. I bet we can make room for one more.”

Seungmin’s smile and laugh are breathtaking. “That’s ok, Yongbok-ah. I’m still on barista duty.”

He walks away and Felix snuggles in with his mug, asking what you were talking about.

“Just how cute you are, Lix,” Jisung responds, giving him a poke in the side. Unfortunately, your talk about Seungmin is over.

ᯓ★

Over lunch, there’s debate over whether they’ve celebrated their temporary return to Korea enough or if you all might as well make this a weekend affair. It’s Chan vs. Minho, and Chan is definitely lacking supporters. You all know that he doesn’t take nearly enough time for himself, and last night ended early (by some people’s accounts). Everyone is still there anyway, not surprising considering how late you all woke up, so why not just see where things go.

“It’s not ‘seeing where things go’ if you’re going out to buy party supplies, Minho.” Chan is trying and failing to keep control. You decide it’s time to speak up.

“Channie, when’s the next time you guys are going to be able to do something like this? You know that you’ll start performing again in September, plus you’re gearing up for your next comeback. Come next week, you’re gonna be back to business.”

Chan looks at you, hand splayed over his chest with feigned hurt in his eyes. “Et tu, Noona? Fine, but we’re not inviting too many more people over if you guys are still trying to ‘get wild,’ got it?”

After that, you and the 3Retcha guys head out for a shower, change of clothes, and maybe a nap. Rather than heading to their place, Jisung offers to escort you to yours.

He picks up your previous conversation. “Listen, I’m not saying anything has or needs to change. We all love you. But I feel like I was picking up on something, and I wanna make sure you know that the rest of us wouldn’t treat or love you any differently if things did change.”

You consider his words carefully. He still hasn’t actually given you a reason to change things. Seungmin might’ve, with that kiss, but you hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him yet. It may have been a spur of the moment situation. He clearly woke up hard with you rubbing against him and probably got caught up in the moment. You can’t hold him to it. And last night was nothing. A game and a goodnight kiss. “I know, Sungie. I just don’t think this is something you need to worry about.”

Jisung takes a quick nap in your bed while you shower, and after you dress, you climb into bed with him. It feels natural, normal. You snuggle until you end up waking up an hour or so later. Since he didn’t return to his dorm, he ends up showering and just wearing some of your clothes. You head back to the Cuties dorm after picking up everything on the grocery list Minho sent you. When you arrive, there’s much less fanfare than the day before. You drop things off in the kitchen, and hope that more people arrive before Seungmin emerges from his room and asks you to talk. You’re still not sure what to do about him.

Jeongin and his girlfriend are being disgustingly cute in the living room when you settle onto the couch. Soon, though, Jeongin leaves the room and it’s just you girls. “Can I ask you for advice about something?”

You’re a little surprised. It’s not that you don’t talk to her when you see her, but you’re not really friends. You don’t even have her number. “Sure, what’s up?”

She surprises you further by plopping down right next to you, and pulling out her phone for you to see. “Innie has been wanting to try some new stuff, and I’m not super sure about it. Have you ever used anything like this?”

You consider the image on her phone for a second. You now know more about Jeongin’s tastes than you ever thought you would. You like having this time to bond, though, so you answer and ask some questions of your own. You end up sharing about experiences you’ve had and fantasies yet to be fulfilled. Next thing you know 45 minutes have passed and you feel much closer to the girl who will hopefully be around for a long time.

“Okay, so tell me about you and Minnie?”

You search her face for a sign of.. anything. “What do you mean?

Finally, someone else is blushing. She keeps her eyes down as she says, “Oh, nothing. I just.. I must’ve misunderstood. I thought you guys were like getting together or something. You looked so cute together last night. I guess I just thought you were into him, too.”

Too. Your heart is beating faster, and your mind is racing. Does he have feelings for you? First Jisung, now her – or more likely Jeongin through her. “Are you saying –”

Speak of the devil, Jeongin lands on the couch on her other side suddenly. “What are you lovely ladies talking about?”

“Hi baby!” And just like that, they’re back to being disgustingly cute. After what feels like an hour-long kiss, they start talking about what games to play tonight, and your opportunity to ask what she may have heard from or about Seungmin is gone.

Eventually others arrive, Minho and Chan whip up a wonderful meal while the rest of you sing karaoke, and now it’s time for drinks to flow freely and games to begin. You and Seungmin have shared a few glances, but with all the others around, you haven’t had a moment alone. You can’t help but wonder what the night will hold.

⋆｡°✩

To be continued…