Skz Seungmin X Reader - Tumblr Posts

TᑌTOᖇ ᗰE

Category: ♥ Fluff, smut ♥

Teacher!Seungmin x fem!reade!student

Another day, another time, it sucked. You were a student at the university of Seoul. You were doing great at almost every subject you choosed, exspect... math.

You didn't even know why math was one of your subjects. You never choosed it. You even sended a mail, but you couldn't change now. So you had to survive it this year. Your worst nightmare, you worst fear, *math*.

Your teacher didn't had time to tutor you, so he asked another math-teacher to help you. Today was the day to meet him, after school.

The entire day went very slowly, but atleast your friends were comique so it wasn't to boring. Your teachers were always gossiping about every student. And then they dare to say that we are horrible?! How?

After school you had to stay in your classroom. You were waiting and playing with your pencils. When he wasn't here yet for the past 5 minutes, you decided to walk around the classroom. Just walking and staring at the walls.

Suddenly the door opened and you saw an interesting man walking inside.

'Miss... I/N Y/N?" his eyes widened when he saw you. You were very beautifull, he could not deny.

'Yes, that is me, i am here for you tutoring lessons.'

'You can seat yourself next to me.'

You walked over and seated yourself. The chair hurted your butt, but that does every chair in this university.

'Could you tell me what you don't understand?'

'Everything.'

'Everything is much.'

'Yeah i don't know much about math.'

He started with chapter six, because thats the most important chapter. His voice was very soft and it made you relaxed. You could quit understand a bit, but it was very difficult, because maybe this would sound weird... he was extremely hot. You could call him 'smexy'.

You were staring a bit to him. Not really focusing on this theorie of this chapter. His lips were cute, his nose also, but his eyes. You just could stare in them forever.

He saw you watching his face. He actually didn't mind it. You snapped out of you deep-stare.

'I am sorry, i was just wandering into my thoughts, mine apologies.'

'It is okay, this part is not very important.'

He was actually only supposed to teach you for 1 hour, but he taught you for 2 hours. You didn't watch the clock, you loved each other's presence. He could explain everything so well, his voice was so beautiful. For him, 2 hours feels like 10 minutes. Its beautiful; hands turned the page.

Suddenly your alarm went off, and everything was a little disrupted. Seungmin looked at his watch.

'Oops, it's already 8pm, my apologies. I'll give you some papers to work on at home. You have lessons from me every day, so finish these papers by tomorrow if possible.'

'That's probably possible, depending on what tasks I still have to complete from my other teachers. Thank you for this lesson.'

you stood up and started packing everything up.

'I'll see you again tomorrow. Have a nice day!'

He watched you leave the classroom. He never noticed what a beautiful figure you have. He had already seen you walking around, but of course he had never spoken to you. Of course he had never spoken to you before, you are a student and he is a teacher. It is not forbidden, but it is frowned upon. Still, some girls flirted with him, sometimes tried to touch him themselves, but always avoided them. If you flirted with him, he wouldn't avoid it. But you weren't really that romantic, you read a lot of novels, but even when you were little you realized that not everything in the books could be fulfilled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and your teacher started to grow a little closer together. You could say that you two formed a friendly bond. Sometimes you got jealous when some girls tried to twist Seungmin around their fingers. But yes, Seungmin also got jealous when boys came to you. You were very beautiful and intelligent, so boys took their chance, even sometimes girls tried to take their chance with you. You didn't always notice that. Your eyes were actually only focused on Seungmin.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat in your class and you followed the reading. You sometimes overheard some conversations that were happening in front of you. You were learning about Korean Culture when you suddenly heard Seungmin's name in front of you.

"He's so handsome, could he be that good in bed?" two girls giggled.

You straightened your back and started to lean a little closer.

"He could play with me."

You looked at them as if they were crazy. Seungmin isn't that type of guy. What are they thinking, talking about him like that, aren't they ashamed? Your brow furrowed as you heard their multiple conversations. Deep inside you were burning with jealousy, so many girls wanted to have him. So many girls, some were so beautiful in your eyes. You started to focus on your classes again, but what if... what if Seungmin enjoys all that attention? What if he likes one of those many girls? What if he's... a spicy teacher... if you know what I mean? No, that's not possible, no, Seungmin a spicy teacher? Maybe...

You were walking around the square with one of your friends, just chatting about boys and also the new Arcade. You went through the main hall when you saw a group of girls surrounding Seungmin. They all asked him questions and if he could tutor them. They gave him cookies and so much attention. It made you angry, even though there is absolutely nothing between you and Seungmin. He saw you looking from a distance, he saw anger in your eyes. He turned away from all the girls and came towards you. Why is he coming towards me, you thought. You panicked a bit, he looked so good today. His sleeves were rolled up, his blouse was very tight, his buttons could pop off at any moment. You looked in all directions, your girlfriend looked at you strangely, as if you were a mad dog. You dragged her with you to the girls' toilets.

Seungmin tried to speak to you but it was already too late. Of course he wasn't allowed in the girls' toilets.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lately you started to distance yourself from him. He didn't understand why. He tried to have a conversation with you outside of school, but you avoided him every time. The tutoring sessions were also filled with a kind of tension and not good tension. Sometimes he tried to sit close to you, just to give you some comfort.

He wanted to ask you about it, but he didn't want to bother you with all those questions. At some point he had enough, because he cared about you a lot. He wanted to love you and he would do anything to fix it.

Tutoring was over, and you started packing your things. You wanted to go to the door, but suddenly he blocked you.

“I can't take it anymore Y/N. What did I do wrong? Did I hurt your feelings? Did I accidentally hurt you?'

'What are you talking about?'

"Lately I feel like you're trying to avoid me, have I done something?"

You were quiet. You looked at the ground.

'No nothing.'

He lifted your chin with his index finger.

'Do not lie to me. You can tell me.' '

No, I can't do that.'

'Why not?'

“It's not your fault, it's just…”

you took a deep breath

“all the girls are hanging around you. Flirting with you and for some strange reason it makes me jealous and an-'

he interrupted you by kissing you on the lips. His tongue slid through your mouth. He placed his hand on the back of your head. You opened your mouth wide, giving him all the access. He slid his tongue out of your mouth.

"Does that answer?"

'Don't know.' you teased.

"Maybe you should be a little more clear?"

"Of course princess."

He brought you in for another kiss. This time he held your cheeks with both hands. He stroked it with his thumbs. He made you step back until you bumped into his desk. He opened your legs with his knee. From your mouth his tongue went to your neck. He started licking it like a puppy. You whined softly. You heard him laugh against your neck. His fingers slid into your underwear. He slid between your folds, which were very wet. 'Wet for me? I love that.' He began to gently caress your clit while still sucking on your neck.

You started to position yourself on his desk. He pulled your panties down so he could get a good view. You could see through his pants that he was already hard. You took off his belt and pulled his pants down enough so you could take out his member. He groaned when you started to gently pump his dick. Just to make sure it was hard enough. He positioned himself at your entrance, he began to quietly nestle himself into you.

He held you tight as he slowly started pumping into you. You felt safe with him, his warmth. You heard his heart beat faster. He whispered soft words into your ears, which actually made you more excited. The fact that he was only your tutor two months ago.

His rhythm quickened, so did his breath, his hands felt every part of your body, his hair got wet, his body sweaty, and this all happened in a boring classroom. Your legs were shaking with excitement. Your arms clung to his neck. Everything was perfect, even if you did it on his desk.

"I *kiss* love you so *kiss much, baby."

You brought your two heads closer together.

'You are my soulmate. You are my soul, ohh *kiss* Seungmin, *kiss* what would I do without *kiss* you?'

He kissed you with passion, he kissed you like it was the end, he made sure you knew how much he loved you.

When you both came, he still held you tightly. He looked at you and caressed your cheek.

'That I could love you, as I did just now, is what you call happiness.' 'I feel happy with you.'

Your lips met again, and you devoured each other. You couldn't keep your hands off each other. Everything was perfect at this moment, the atmosphere, the sounds and the one person who could make it all happen: Seungmin.

Whoopsies, guess im falling in love with a sk! 🤷‍♀️

10000/10 would recommend this read 👌💕

serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: ~10k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: rough sex, manipulation, strangulation, blood, implied drugging, murder

SYNOPSIS: you walk into Seungmin’s life, and disrupt everything

DEITY INTRO

The smell of smoke reaches his nose, and the craving comes on so suddenly, and so strong…he hates this, not being able to control something so small. He doesn't have much control at all, if he thinks about it. He hasn't had any real control in years—just the illusion of it. The first chance Seungmin gets, he disappears into a convenience store, and he walks back out with a pack of cigarettes clenched in one hand. He bites down on a fresh book of matches as he bounces it against the heel of his palm, eyes still carefully scanning the streets as he unwraps the plastic and pops one between his lips.

The sound of the match against the striker strip is enough to calm his nerves, but the first slow drag quiets his mind and numbs the itch in his limbs. The part of his brain that doesn't shut up when it's time likes to smoke lately, it seems, so he listens. More of his illusion.

Just as he pulls in another lungful, you breeze past him, head down, eyes glued to your phone. Seungmin can see exactly what you're doing—looking at a map as you walk, probably a little lost, and you’re mumbling quietly. Scolding yourself, maybe, but taking your time and obviously trying to keep it together. He wonders just how lost you are, but he doesn't move right away…he’s smarter than that. That itch returns very quickly, despite the cigarette, and his legs shake a little with the anticipation of following behind. Lucky for him, you stop and duck under the awning for some shade, and probably to get your bearings.

He likes the way you look.

You feign confidence, and you really are doing a great job of fitting in and acting like you know where you are—where you need to go. If anyone else was nearby, they wouldn't even suspect you needed help. And you’re pretty. Seungmin thinks you probably don’t know that, not here, so out of your element. You are, though.

Just as he moves to approach you, you lift your gaze, and your eyes find his. Seungmin freezes for a moment, then slowly takes the cigarette from him lips. “Hello,” he smiles and turns away a little to blow out his smoke. “I’m sorry, I can…” he discards it, then turns back, hoping your eyes are still on him.

He was a little rushed this morning, his hair dryer broke, and he spilled an entire iced coffee on his way out the door. Going out today didn’t seem like the best idea, but he figured he would at least make the attempt, and try again tomorrow if he had to. Seungmin is very glad he tried today. You still look up at him with keen, hopeful eyes when he turns to face you again.

“…put this out.” He tries English—it’s the only western language he knows. “Do you need help reading your map?”

Still, you stare…silent. If you don’t speak English or Korean, he’s out of luck, and he’ll have to drag himself back home, alone, and crawl into bed until tomorrow.

“Yes…thank you”

He sighs internally, and smiles softly at you. Once again, his looks (and his fluent English) get him what he wants. Seungmin doubts you would have taken the help if that first look didn't get something moving in you. He could see it in your eyes. “Where are you headed? I might be more useful than that map.”

Still, you hesitate for a brief moment, “...my apartment. I took the bus, and I missed it coming back. But I think I’m almost there. I’m just a little anxious, and I’m being stupid…”

“No, you’re not. Have you been here long? In Seoul?”

“About a week”

“No, not stupid. What’s the address?”

/ / /

“Stay close, we can probably get the whole way across.” He looks back at you, and slows enough for you to catch up to his long strides. “No, maybe not,” he takes your wrist in his hand, and it’s unnecessary, because you stop with him. It’s a good start…the first touch. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you glance at him, and then to his hand wrapped around you, “I think I know where I’m at now.”

“You think?”

“I think”

“I’ll take you to your building. You don’t have to invite me up…promise.”

It’s another two blocks before you finally see it, and the sight of it is a relief. Seungmin can almost feel the tension leave your body as you approach it, but there’s a long moment of silence between you when you finally get there.

Eventually, you unfreeze yourself and speak,“thank you for your help…uh, what should I call you?”

“Thank you for letting me help. You can call me Seungmin.” He smiles shyly when he says his name.

“Seungmin, is it okay if do?”

“Do what?” He already knows what you’re getting at, but he cocks his head and bites his lip.

“Invite you up. I’m sure you have better things to do, though.”

Seungmin loves the flush in your cheeks when you ask. The nervous energy that left you returns, and it gets his blood pumping everywhere it needs to—his heartbeat jumps, and he hopes his cheeks pink up a little bit, too. “No, that’s been my best offer all day.” He knows he can’t do anything here, but this is also an unusual feeling—visiting the home of a potential victim. It's not necessary, and it's very personal...and it's a little bit awkward.

“This is cute.” Seungmin stands in one spot, and examines the tiny apartment. It’s simple, and still a little plain, but you’ve barely had time to settle. He can picture the twin size bed you’re sleeping on, and how the two of you would barely fit; the commotion you’d make…the mess. The thought sends a jolt of pleasure through him, and he feels himself getting hard as he watches you stare so intensely.

“What?” He smirks. You smile back, so Seungmin lets his grow a little wider.

“Do you want some coffee? You look like a coffee person.”

“I am, I would love some”

/ / /

“You’re a long way from home,” Seungmin says over the rim of his mug, casually scanning every part of you as he does—your bare feet shuffling on the area rug; your legs, easy to admire in the tight leggings you’re wearing; body sinking comfortably into the squishy couch. He sits up and turns himself toward you a little more. “May I ask why?”

“Work. But I think I’m very under-qualified for the position…I took it to get away from my old life, and my ex.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Bad breakup?”

“Bad enough…I’m sure things could’ve been worse”

If he can find out when the break-up happened, Seungmin can figure out just how vulnerable you still are. “If it was worth coming this far, I’m sure it was bad.” Reaching out right now and grabbing your throat would be so, so easy. It would be nothing; his hands would wrap perfectly around your delicate neck. He can almost feel the snap of your hyoid, your pulse as it speeds up; slows down; stops completely. Vulnerable, but still guarded—soft, sad eyes, and nervous fingers tapping against the mug, turned slightly away from him.

Still, when you look at him again, you light up a little. “My turn…what were you doing smoking outside a GS25 all alone this morning? I’m very glad you were there…just curious.”

“Oh…” Seungmin actually laughs at that—a genuine laugh. He wasn’t prepared for such a blunt question. “People watching, I guess. I like to observe.” He notices your eyes wondering over him, the same as he did to you, only you’re a lot little less subtle about it. “What is it?”

“What do you do for a living?”

A living. What does he do for a living? He doesn’t do anything except survive day to day within his careful, tedious routine. He’s a trust-fund baby, thank god. Seungmin can’t imagine having to work a day job, deal with the public, wear a mask every moment of the day just to get by.

“I make music…write, produce. Independently. Nothing major, but it pays the bills.” It’s not his usual lie, but it seems fitting for you. It’s not even a lie, because Seungmin does make music—music that has ever seen the light of day.

“You sing?”

Seungmin nods, puts on another shy smile for you. “Yeah, I do. Mostly for myself, though.” He’s not used to fielding so many personal questions so quickly, because by now, someone has their mouth on something. Or something in it. The thought gives him another twinge in his groin, and he almost whines along with his sigh.

Now is probably a good time to get more information, but his dick continues to distract him. “Uhm, what was your promotion? What do you do?” Not this information, but he has to start somewhere.

“Nothing very exciting. Customer relations for a cosmetics company. I don’t like it very much, but it pays well enough, and I’m here now.”

“Is that where you went this morning?” It’s almost too nosy, but he goes with it. “Sorry, that’s not really my business.”

“No, it’s okay. I was coming back from Dongguk University. I’m taking language classes."

He takes the opportunity to switch to Korean, “good…so you don’t speak any Korean?”

And all you can do is stare back, clueless. “I think I caught a word,” you laugh when he grins at you.

“I’m going to have so much fun with you”

An exchange of phone numbers, the promise of dinner, and Seungmin is on his way back home. Empty handed, yes, but he already has a plan unfolding in his mind. A few times before, he’s deliberately taken his time—did the cat and mouse thing, or more appropriately for him, a dog with a bone. It’s usually not by choice, though. He may have to find another in the meantime; something quick and easy to hold him over. Rushing things with you won't satisfy him.

“Wow, this is…great,” the girl turns and gives Seungmin a heavy, confident look. She only has one thing on her mind, but he’s alright with getting straight to the point. “How about the bedroom?” So why does the eagerness almost turn him off? It’s a stark contrast to what you just gave him, and to what anyone else ever gives him. The dates he picks up don’t want coffee and conversation.

There is no foreplay—not a single touch until his pants are undone and on the floor, but she goes for his shirt, and Seungmin grabs for her wandering hands.

“What’s wrong…self-conscious?” She slips one under and runs her fingertips across his ribs.

He has to tilt his head to the side to avoid her lips. “No, I’m not.”

“You are a little skinny, but that’s okay”

The gasp the girl makes when he grabs the side of her neck, the little bit of fear in her eyes, is what finally gets him completely hard. He squeezes, just enough to not be threatening, and she relaxes for a moment.

“Sorry…sorry, just teasing,” she smiles a little, and her eyes dart from the window, and then back to him.

“Get on your knees”

She does so without hesitation, but Seungmin turns and walks away before she has a chance to touch again. There wasn’t much prep for this, so he has to be careful, and he has to be quiet, so he stares absently into the drawer of his bedside table for a few long moments. Handcuffs could be helpful, but the gag might be even better. He opts for the handcuffs, and when the girl sees them dangling from his finger, she smiles. “Okay, I like kinky…are those for me?”

Seungmin nods, and very gently secures one of her wrists. The other end snaps around the bedpost. Now she reaches her free hand toward him and gets a handful of dick, and he lets her touch.

“Are you gonna be a tease now? Take these off.”

A hand comes down fast, and again she gasps as he tightens his grip around her throat. She grabs for him and claws at his skin, but it does nothing. His grip still tightens, even as her nails cut and a thin line of blood starts to form. Seungmin relaxes, and then lets go.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She coughs and pulls at the cuff, but it's not going anywhere. “Get this off of me. Now."

None of this is new for him, and most of the time, his jobs aren't easy. Last time, he was lucky. "No," Seungmin laughs and pulls his shirt over his head, but just as he's about to return to his drawer for something new, he hears his phone buzz in the pocket of his discarded jeans.

"Take these off…please"

"Not yet, relax"

"But you will? What are you gonna do? I'm sorry I teased you…please, you can do whatever you want, but—"

"But? I can do whatever I want, but what?"

The fear in her eyes is enough of an answer, but another buzz of his phone distracts her for the briefest moment. "Please let me go. We can just pretend this never happened.”

Seungmin goes for his phone this time, "no, I don’t do that," and stares at the number for a few seconds before recognizing it, because he didn't add you to his contacts. He's not even sure he should.

Hi! I just wanted to thank you again for being so kind. I haven't had any really nice interactions with anyone until I met you today. And there is a place a block way from me that I've been wanting to try since I got here, if you're still interested.

Seungmin doesn't catch himself grinning, but his guest does. "Good news?" She asks. "Look, this was just a date gone bad. I'm not into whatever kinky shit you're into.”

He's bored. To be honest, he's been bored since he got this girl back to the apartment, so this may not do the job as well as he was expecting—he’s already starting to get soft. But letting someone go? Seungmin doesn't do that. The phone gets tossed onto the bed as he makes his way back to his drawer, and this time, he knows what he needs. The girl gasps and screams as soon as she sees the glint of the blade against the lamplight—the gag definitly would have helped, but it's too late now. The neighbors are mosty likely at work, at least.

The rattle of the cuffs against the bedpost is annoying, and Seungmin thinks for a moment that it might actually break. "You need to relax, and you need to be quiet. This…" he gestures to her antics, "this is not helping either of us."

"Fuck you, you're gonna burn in hell"

That's the last thing she says. There is one more reach, and one more scratch of her nails (right across his cheek), but she gives in as soon as the knife slides neatly between her ribs. One last hitch in her throat, one last exhale, and the light fades from her eyes. Exactly what he needed.

"I know"

/ / /

I am still interested. I wonder if we're thinking of the same place.

He sends that off and thinks, but the first text is more of a challenge to acknowledge.

I'm glad I could be your first.

It doesn't sound quite right to him, but maybe that's a good thing. He sends that, too.

Now he looks to the lifeless body on his floor. The blood has soaked through her clothes, and onto the area rug where she was kneeling. Seungmin suddenly remembers why he hates doing things this way. Okay, no blood for a while, he thinks as he begins to conceal the body. He has a long day ahead of him now.

The week passes slowly, and Seungmin spends it hidden away in his bedroom. He wrote a little, and he forced himself to sing last night, but aside from that, he's just existed beneath the warmth of his blankets. One more text came from you a few days ago, but he hasn't bothered looking at it yet. Ignoring his phone has been a test for himself, and he has done pretty well at not thinking about what you said.

That can't last forever, though. Seungmin doesn't think you're going to lose interest that easily. He knows you won't. And besides, he's hungry. It's time to get out of bed.

I'm free all day on Thursday

Fuck, today is Thursday. Seungmin sits up in bed and stares at the screen, thinks…wonders if chasing you will be worth it in the end. What if he spends all of this time on you, and it doesn’t fill the need he’s expecting it to? What if it’s just like the last one? He starts to type.

I am free today. I'm sorry I took so long to reply. I understand if you made other plans.

No, it can’t be as bad as that one.

Lunch. Maybe a walk, if it's not to cold for you. Back to the apartment. It's not time, though. The feeling hasn't quite returned yet, and it won't feel right if he does this now. Maybe today isn't the day.

I'm still free. Let me know when!

But lunch wouldn't hurt. Seungmin needs you here, in this apartment, if he's going to do this right. He needs you comfortable with him.

I can get dressed and head to your building. Half an hour? Meet me outside.

/ / /

You dressed up for him. He's still a half a block away, and you’re turned in the opposite direction, but he can tell that you put some thought and effort into your outfit. Seungmin looks the same as he typically does; black jeans, black sneakers, a Carhartt jacket over a loose fitting t-shirt. Not much effort, really, but…

"Hi!" You examine him, not so subtly, starting from his dark parted hair, all the way down his long, slender legs. The smile on your face grows when you meet his eyes again. "How was your walk?"

Now it's beginning to feel like a date, and it’s very obvious that you’re attracted to him. There’s no doubt you would’ve looked at him the same had he arrived in the sweatpants he had on in bed this morning. "Very nice. How was the trip from your apartment?"

Seungmin gets a genuine laugh out of you. “It was great, I was very excited to get down here and see you.”

Excited to see him. Okay. Seungmin is used to the attention, but he isn’t as used to the cute, innocent flirting. He sees your cheeks blush before you drop your gaze.

“You lead the way”

He nods, and brushes by you very gently.

Lunch is perfectly normal; a real date. Seungmin learns a little more about you, and you learn a few more exaggerated, somewhat true things about him. The breakup between you and your ex was recent—only six weeks ago. The move was actually the catalyst for ending things. You confessed to him that you’re still unsure if it was the right thing to do, but you are beginning to like living in Seoul already. Maybe because of him. You thanked him again for his help, so Seungmin starts to wonder if simple kindness isn’t something you’re used to. Getting it from him seems a little ironic.

“Would you like to take a walk?” The second part of his plan already seems to be in motion, because you walked right by your building without even realizing. “There’s a nice park I like to visit about a half a mile that way, and a cafe a little closer, actually.”

“Either sounds good"

“Or, my apartment is closer than both. And I have a very nice coffee bar. And a regular bar, if you prefer.”

He hears your soft laugh, and he can picture you blushing again. A no wouldn’t surprise him, though—going straight to his apartment was beginning to feel like a stretch, but he has to ask. After all, you did invite him up fifteen minutes into knowing him.

"Are you gonna make me a homeade latte?"

"Whatever you desire"

/ / /

Seungmin waits for you to give him a surprised look as soon as he leads you through his front door, just like everyone else does, but you don’t. You’re quiet as you take your shoes off and look around, and you don’t make a sound until he speaks up.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get the espresso machine going.”

“You must do good work”

“I wouldn’t say that. My dad left me a lot when he died, so I can’t take any credit for it.” Why did he say that? He had no reason to tell the truth, and yet, it slipped right out.

Now you do give him a look—a sad, apologetic one. “Well, I’m sure you still do good work.”

Seungmin keeps his mouth shut as he flips a switch and grinds the coffee beans. You don’t say anything else, but he watches you watching him carefully from the corner of his eye as he works. He makes one for himself, too, and as he walks to join you, a reflection on the hardwood makes him stop in his tracks. A small, silver earring is shining up at him, and he silently scolds himself for his sloppy cleanup. How did he miss that all week? He did stay in bed for most of that time, but he has never, not once, left something behind. It looks clean, at least...no blood.

“What’s wrong?” You look to where he’s looking, and you see whatever has him frozen. A small silver hoop earring.

“Uh, nothing…” he sets both coffees down on the table and tries to ignore it, but he can’t. Besides, you’ve seen it, and he can’t just leave it there. Seungmin wonders if he left something even more damning in the apartment as he bends to pick it up.

“One of your dates lost something?” You say it casually…just an observation, “I assume you have a lot of them coming and going.” But Seungmin looks ready to defend himself.

“No…no, I don’t. Not that often, really.” He slips it into his pocket. “How is your drink. I can make another if it’s not quite right.”

“It looks good,” you pick it up and hold it under your nose, “smells good,” and take a slow, careful sip. It’s hot, but just the right amount of hot. “It’s very good, thank you.”

He sits down, and his knee grazes against yours. You hold still and watch his hand run down his thigh, follow his arm up to his shoulder—to his neck, where his loose t-shirt reveals some collarbone, soft and tan. Seungmin is staring right through you, and he doesn't seem to realize it. The movement of his eyes is hypnotizing, and they're so big and dark, you feel like they could swallow you whole.

Just when you think he's going to reach for his coffee, his hand lifts toward you, and everything moves in slow motion—Seungmin's tongue pokes out to wet his lips, he bites down on it a little…and his fingertips just barely graze the far side of your neck.

You shake free of your trance and move back.

"Sorry"

"It's alright," you take another long sip of your coffee and avoid his gaze, but you can feel him staring at you. Hard. You look around his big, well decorated apartment and suddenly wonder how you ended up here with a man you hardly know, inches from him, his eyes eating away at you.

He's not sure why he went for that touch. Curiousity, maybe. Your skin looks soft, it is soft, and though he has no overwhelming urges at the moment, he still wants to to know how your skin feels squeezed against his palms, and pinched between his fingers. The image gives him a pleasant twinge in his stomach, and he doesn't even think about the possibility of his dick growing in his jeans right here and now. Today, nothing will happen, and if he scares you off now, he’ll never get you here alone again. It’s not a risk worth taking.

“I am…please forgive me. I don’t know why I did that. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t.” It’s a little bit of a lie, but he seems sincere. It’s easier to relax and take a deep breath now that he’s up and making a little bit of distance between you. Still, you admire him from this angle—his long, slender legs, perfect in proportion to the rest of him. Broad shoulders, and a strong looking back that you can see when the light hits his white t-shirt just right.

His face is soft, his jaw is strong, and his skin pretty, but not quite perfect. Seungmin looks like a piece of art come to life, and he’s here with to you. Talking to you. Staring at you. Reaching out to touch you.

There has to be something wrong with him.

“Are you okay?”

“Hm? Yes, I’m okay”

“I asked if you wanted to see the balcony”

There is no doubt he caught you admiring him. The grin on his face warms your cheeks…it warms your entire body. “Yeah, sure”

The balcony is in his bedroom.

Very cautiously, you walk through the doorway, but you’re not sure why you’re still on edge. So far, Seungmin has been sweet and thoughtful…maybe a little odd, but not so odd that it should concern you. Regardless of how handsome he is, maybe he really doesn’t go on many dates, or even get out of this apartment very often…his room is dark and moody, maybe more of a reflection of his mind than anything else in the apartment. Everything looks expensive—the high windows, the lighting, the music equipment in the corner. His bed is oversized and covered in soft pillows, and an old stuffed dog sits right in the middle. It looks like it’s seen better days. Seungmin doesn’t stop to show you around, though. He heads straight for the balcony.

“You’re not afraid of heights?”

You shake your head.

“Good. It’s a nice view.”

It is a nice view, because he’s almost at the very top. The wind gusts a few times as you stand there, and the air is chilly, but Seungmin stands to your side and blocks most of it. His eyes burn into you again, and you’re starting to like it.

“I should probably go.” Another lie. There is no reason to leave, and you don’t want to, but if you do stay, something will certainly happen.

“Oh, of course…I can call a ride for you”

And you want something to happen. Being in his room, within falling distance of his bed, is driving you a little bit crazy. His big, soft eyes are driving you crazy. But you barely know him, and you’ve barely settled into your new life. Feeling vulnerable isn’t new, but you’re extra vulnerable right now, and you know what can happen when you feel that way.

/ / /

Someone else will come along, and he’ll be fine. Eventually, he’ll come across another perfect one, and when he does, he won’t drag his feet and fuck things up. You were right here, inches from him…more than within reach, and Seungmin is not used to failing at getting his way. Maybe he missed something. Seungmin isn’t completely aloof when it comes to emotions and reading them on people, but he doesn’t typically bother with it, and he isn’t the best at it.

Fortunately, he doesn't have to dwell on it too long. You send him a text right before he begins to doze off that night...

Thank you for lunch today, and the walk…and coffee. Sorry I ended everything so quickly, it was nothing personal. I would like to see you again.

Okay, everything is fine. Just a little overreaction on his part. He just…scared you off? Came on a little too strong with the neck touch, more than likely. It didn't seem like much, but you're obviously a little reticent.

I would like to see you again

No reply to that, but a heart pops up next to his message after it sends.

He drags himself to the other end of the street, but he's tired. Sleep hasn't come easily the past few days, and the nightmares that come and go have returned…the same ones—the old shed, the soft, rain soaked ground, and the earth covering his father's hands when he reaches out for Seungmin. There's more, so much more, but it always comes in pieces. Maybe tonight he'll get another piece.

For now he focuses on the woman entering the bar, and he's certain he's going to lose her in there on a busy Saturday night. The urges have returned, and the sleepless nights haven't made things any easier, so he has to do something, and this half-hearted chase helps a litte bit. You haven't said a word since Thursday, and if you don't by tomorrow morning, he might just come and find you himself. If that's the case, he doesn't even need to pursue this one—he can go back home, take a hot shower, make a strong drink, and finish his nightmare.

“Seungmin?”

His heart jumps into his throat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you”

It’s you. It’s your soft, lilting voice, and your pleasant accent. He turns and your eyes connect, but his heart still continues to pound. “Hi, what are doing so far from home?” Very far. He ventured a little further out of his comfort zone this time around. Running into you this far from home can't be a coincidence, even if Seungmin doesn't believe in things like that.

“You first”

“Oh, uh…trying to be social, I guess”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me the truth.” You smile at his smirk. “A few of my classmates dragged me along, but I’m over it already. I don’t usually stay up this late.”

“I can ride home with you, if you’d like. Unless I can convince you to have a drink with me first.”

You think about it, but not for very long. Part of you wants to make up for last time, and for struggling to text him back. “Yes to both. Can we try a different bar?” The other part wants to remain strong.

“Of course, anything you want”

“Your bar?”

But the former part is bigger.

It's a quiet ride back to his place, but it's not an awkward quiet. Seungmin is relaxed, body turned sightly toward you, and you can tell he's watching every subtle movement you make; the fidgeting of your fingers, and the bounce of your knee, the occasional shift to adjust yourself and pull at your sweater. You can't quite figure out what he seems to see in you, and maybe that's part of your hesitation—being a clueless foreigner with a native drinking up every little thing, emphasis on little, that you have to you offer.

He walks ahead of you as you head for the elevator, and it's another opportunity to look at him in the harsh light. The leather jacket he's wearing is a bit big, but it doesn't hide the broadness of his shoulders. Just as you move your eyes down, he begins to take it off and reveal even more. His muscles move delicately beneath the black t-shirt as it slides down his arms, this time a more form-fitting one, tucked loosely into his black jeans. Tiny waist, narrow hips, but just enough ass to grab.

The elevator opens and he turns to you, "don't worry, I won’t keep you up too late."

When you arrived, he did all of the things guy's don't actually do on your dates: pay for the ride, open the door, hold a hand out for you. It was a little bit cheesy, but you're not going to complain about his good manners.

"Do you mind if I change? I can smell the smoke on me."

You shake your head at him, make yourself comfortable on the couch, and listen carefully as he moves around in his bedroom…the slide of a drawer, a door softly opening and closing. He's not in there long, and when he comes out, he looks like a different person.

Seungmin’s face is so striking, and it’s like that no matter what he does to his hair, but he definitely combed everything back with his fingers while he changed. It’s parted just off to the side and pushed away from his eyes, save for a few lose strands, and his eyes are so pretty and intense. The outfit is completely different—a loose fitting t-shirt, a thin white one this time, and sweatpants. It looks so out of place, because the three times you’ve seen him, he was dressed a little more than casual.

A silver Chanel necklace still hangs around his neck, and you wonder if he just forgot about it. “Better?” You stand and take a step toward him, he moves a little closer, but heads toward his small, but elaborate bar.

“Yeah,” he smiles and beckons you . “What do you like to drink?”

“What do you think I like?”

“Oh…good question, let me think,” he very patiently scans over his selection…

Ice in the shaker, cherry soju, coconut vodka—he gives it a shake, never breaking eye contact until he has to grab a glass and pour—he stops and looks around, thinks, then grabs another bottle from under the bar. As soon as he twists the cap off, the sweet smell hits you. Seungmin tops it off with cream soda, and drops in a cherry before sliding it toward you. Then he pours some for himself, minus the soda.

“Is this me as a cocktail?”

He sips his, and you can hear a little laugh from behind the glass. “First impression? Yeah. Is it good?”

“It’s good, it’s sweet…goes down easy”

“Oh, I hope so”

The whole room warms. You feel like you’re on fire. You know you’re blushing, and you might even be grinning like an idiot, but you can’t pull yourself away from his stare. Seungmin bites down on his bottom lip and a smirk slowly tugs at his mouth, and it’s now that you notice how plump and red his lips are. His cheeks turn a little pink, too.

All you can do is clear your throat and shift in the bar stool, but thankfully, Seungmin still has the reigns. He finishes his drink in one swift movement, and you take one more sip as he rounds the bar. The warmth of his hand on your thigh, you do feel that, but everything else is either numb or pulsing with nervous excitement. He spins you to face him, but his hand doesn’t move—it squeezes as he leans in and whispers in your ear.

“Stop fighting against it…just…” he sighs, and it turns to a soft moan. You feel like you could melt right out of this stool and onto the floor. “Don’t make me beg.”

Fuck, your mind went from nothing to everything you want him to do to you, and everything you’ve been wanting to do to him. But you haven’t done anything yet, and you don’t have to. Seungmin hasn’t come off as that type, but god…the way he’s looking at you and gripping your leg. He gently pushes your thighs apart until he can put himself between them, and your eyes drop to the growing bulge in his sweatpants.

“Seungmin…uh, fuck…um”

“What? Look at me. Eyes up here.”

The ease at which he makes you listen is surprising. He has you now. The smoke-tinged smell of his skin, the vanilla of his cologne, and the sweet smell of booze on his lips. His eyes soften, and you can’t even begin to imagine resisting that look—from here you can see the little bit of black eyeliner starting to smudge. You don’t even feel yourself reach up and wipe your thumb at the corner of his eye, not until he smiles and wraps his fingers around your wrist.

“I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you what you need.”

No answer will come out, so you squeeze your thighs and hope he can read the look in your eyes. He does. Seungmin grabs your hips and pulls your body into his, lifts you, and doesn’t hesitate once he has you in his arms. He turns and takes you right into the bedroom, and the feeling of being outside of your body is intense. You can feel your legs wrapped tight around his hips, and your arms clinging to his shoulders…you can hear his soft grunts as he keeps you steady against him. He pulls you close right before he drops you, and you get a taste of his skin before you hit the bed.

“Keep your eyes on me”

He pulls his shirt over his head, and you study every inch of him while you can. A long, lean torso—his muscles underneath flex with every shallow breath; his bare shoulders—you count every freckle as your eyes move down his arms; his hands grab his waistband and pull, and his cock bounces out, bigger than anything you’ve taken before, and you’re not even sure he’s fully hard yet.

Seungmin laughs at your reaction. “I’m usually a little more subtle…but,” he stops and looks you over, and his voice turns so sweet, “take something off for me. Please.” He’s never this needy, and he doesn’t usually move so fast, but he’s aching for it. Nine days of teasing him was far too long. “Yeah?,” he purrs as you sit up and slide out of your oversized sweatshirt. “Much better….” He strokes himself as he climbs onto the bed.

As soon as your tank top makes it over your head, and your breasts bounce free, you feel your nipples harden even more. Seungmin groans like a horny teenager. “Good…lie back for me.”

The steadiness of his hands is what you expect from him, though. You know he’s experienced, and you know he wants all the control. He unbuttons the skirt and pulls, leaving you in nothing but your panties—you wore cute ones, the lacy ones, just because. Of course you weren’t expecting to get anything tonight, but you’re so glad you did when you see Seungmin smiling at them…but then he snaps out of his trance.

Fuck, he mumbles and moves back. You watch him hop off the bed, and take another chance to admire his naked body, but he doesn't take long getting into his drawer, grabbing something, and returning to you. The condom is out and on him before you even realize what he was doing, and your panties are gripped and pulled down.

"Open up for me," he coaxes your shy legs apart until he has an eyeful of your throbbing, swollen cunt—good—and his tongue slides hungrily into you, making you gasp. "Soaking wet for me already?" Seungmin looks at you for an answer.

You nod and cautiously run your fingers through his hair, and he leans into it before getting back to work, but he just teases you. Licking and sucking just enough to make your hips move against him for more. You relax and enjoy it while you look around the dark room. The curtains are pulled shut, but you can see a little slice of city through the balcony's sliding door. The built-in shelves in the corner are over flowing with books, records, little trinkets you can't quite make out. There’s a bouquet of fresh purple flowers poking out just enough to see. You reach up and slide your hand across a silky pillow, and your fngers close around it.

"Oh…right there," you whine and take another fistful of hair. "Seungmin, god."

He laughs again, takes your words to heart, and doesn't hold back.

Your eyes squeeze shut, and you try hard to keep your body relaxed as he works, but all you want to do is thrust into him, make more fiction…finish…come hard. Seungmin moans and the vibration runs through you.

"Fuck”

He stops, and lifts his mouth off of you completely…

"No…please"

…and he laughs. "Not yet, not yet."

"So mean," you whimper, "why…"

You force your legs closed, but Seungmin doesn't like that. He grabs each knee and spreads you open again, and he slides himself between your thighs until his cock grazes your sensitive clit.

“Relax…” he comes down and bites the skin on your hip.

“I am,” you lie back and look to your left this time; at the desk, the instruments, everything he uses for work. The bedside table is bare except for a lamp, a pair of glasses you’ve never seen him in, and a silver bracelet…it matches the necklace you feel tickling you as he moves his lips up your body. “I am.” Your fingers tangle in his hair as he gets closer and closer to your throat, your neck. He bites down gently, and the pressure as he pushes himself in is so much more than you prepared for. He doesn’t tease—but he does at least take his time. After a few patient movements, he pushes in, and you whine in pain as he moans in pleasure, pulls out, laughs softly as he pushes in. Again and again.

“Fuck, you feel good”

“Slower…slow down,” your own voice echoes in your head, and you don’t feel like you’re all there. But you watched him make your drink, and he didn’t put anything in it. It’s stupid, but maybe it’s just him, and this room.

“Slow down? Oh, I’m hurting you.” He pushes in and stops, “I don’t wanna hurt you, but...you look so good stretched around my cock,” and pulls out carefully, “so wet.”

“You’re not hurting me…”

“I am”

It takes so much restraint, but Seungmin listens to you, and he’s patient as he pumps in and out. Every few strokes, he moves a little faster, and he knows he finally finds a good pace when you whine for him and squeeze his arms.

“Yeah, you like that?” He whispers and you nod, “you take it so well, fuck.”

His gentle affirmations keep you wet, and the sound you make together, the mess of arousal dripping out of you as he works—Seungmin pushes your thighs apart and takes in every little detail.

It does hurt, and it feels so good at the same time. “Please…”

The soft movements of your breasts distract him, and he takes them in his hands and squeezes. The look on his face is dazed, so full of pleasure. So lost.

“…don’t stop.”

"No." He’s not stopping anytime soon, not when it feels this good. “No, I’m not,” Seungmin speeds up, "I'm gonna break you in two," and slams hard into you, and no, he doesn’t stop, even when you cry out in pain. One hand falls down on your mouth, and the other pushes your shoulder into the bed, making you scream out again, but it’s muffled by his palm.

Your hands jump up and squeezes his forearm, and the other scratches at the hand covering your mouth. You can still breathe through your nose, but just barely. Seungmin doesn’t relax, and he doesn’t let up when you grab his side and dig in. Everything goes numb, but your skin prickles with goosebumps. You’re outside of your body again, looking down at the struggle, and the ceaseless pounding of his hips against yours. Every move he makes knocks even more air out of your lungs. Maybe if he comes, he’ll stop, or at least loosen his hand and let more air into your lungs. Time slows down, and lights pop up in your vision. You’re getting dizzy, and your heart was threatening to explode before he attempted to stifle your moans. Your chest starts to burn as you exhaust yourself.

There’s nothing you can do. Seungmin is stronger than he looks. Fingers squeeze into his arms one last time before the feeling disappears, and you think he finishes just as you let the rest of your body relax. Sleeping, that’s what this feels like. Falling asleep…feeling so tired you can’t possibly keep your eyes open any longer. Something in you needs to say his name one last time when the pressure of his hand is finally gone, but so are you.

/ / /

Seungmin can barely hold his body up, because he can’t remember the last time sex felt that good; the last time he came so hard. It takes a moment for enough blood to return to his brain, and for the post-orgasm bliss to subside enough that he can speak, but when he does, he finally realizes how silent you are.

“Hey, sweetheart…look at me,” he runs a soft thumb across your brow, and wipes away a stray tear running down your temple. Seungmin freezes, and the air catches in his throat. “Open your eyes,” he whispers, taps your pink cheek, and caresses it with a softness he isn’t used to giving out. Nothing happens. He pulls at your chin until your lips part to listen for the movement of air. Still nothing. “Fuck.” The shakiness of his voice surprises him. He climbs off of you and collapses onto his pillows, but his eyes don’t leave your still body. “I didn’t. You fucking idiot, you didn’t…” he’s up again and walking on unsteady legs, still weak from the exertion. Back in his sweatpants, Seungmin climbs onto the bed again and straddles your waist. Your cheeks are still flushed, and your lips, also still very alive looking, stay ever so slightly parted. Still, no air passes through them. He knows his own strength, and he prides himself on his control, but sometimes he does lose himself in the moment. But he kept his hands away from your neck. He very specifically forced that on himself, because this wasn’t the plan tonight.

“Hey,” he moves a piece of hair away from your damp forehead, places his lips against yours for the very first time, and he fills your lungs with air. Once…twice. Nothing. He tries one more time, and after, kisses you softly before returning to his spot on his pillows. The puppy plush falls onto his lap, and he grabs it, “you see that, Daengmo?” he says, and points its face toward you, “I still can’t do anything right.”

The first gasp for air feels like nothing—a useless, struggling breath like you’re still trapped underwater, but your eyes somehow open and see nothing but a blue tinted darkness. Hands clench something soft and slick…silky. Still corporeal after death, that’s the only thought you can create. The second breath fills your lungs and you cough it out, hard. So hard you sit up, and he’s there, holding your face, whispering your name. You try to push back, but you don’t think you actually move. Seungmin’s grip tightens on your shoulder, and he lets you fall back on the bed.

“Stay awake for me,” he says.

“No…no, stop”

“I’m not going to hurt you…I promise”

“Seung—” you feel yourself slipping again, and then his hand is on your bare chest, sliding up and down your sternum. It feels good, and you finally feel like you might be alive. “Seungmin?”

“I’m sorry”

And then you’re truly awake. The memory hits you suddenly—the hand caressing you is the same one that was clamped across your mouth. The other pinned you down onto the bed, and you can feel the sore spot where it's going to bruise. You somehow find the strength to move your arms and pull yourself away, but the burning of your thighs, and the leftover pain from the sex makes you shake and collapse.

Seungmin watches quietly as you scramble back up and gather your discarded clothes.

“You need to lay down. Please, get under the covers and get warm.” He finds your sweater, and holds it hostage. “I know I scared you, I'm—"

“Scared me?” Somehow, you manage to find and slip back into your underwear and tank top, but your skirt is nowhere. Why are you even looking for your clothes? You should have been up and running for the door, but your mind is nothing but static.

“No…I mean, what just happened is not what I intended. I lost myself.”

Finally, you go for the door, clothes or no clothes but it’s, unsurprisingly, locked. That’s an unbreakable habit of Seungmin’s. “Please let me go…please.” As much as you want to cry, nothing happens—but your throat tightens and it’s hard to breathe again, so you do the only thing you have left in you—collapse onto the floor and wait. "This can't be happening, not to me...no, everything felt right," you say to yourself, to the door.

“I can't let you leave, I'm sorry.” He hears himself speak so softly, and it's as if it's coming from someone else, from somewhere else…not him. “You shouldn’t even be here right now. What’s wrong with me?” He mumbles the last part to himself, but it comes out louder than he intends.

You stare wide-eyed at nothing, forehead against the door, breathing deeply as you do everything you can to not have a full-blown panic attack. The adrenaline is quickly running out. But you hear the rustle of blankets and sheets, and then you sense him getting closer. His fingers close around your shoulders, very cautiously, and he pulls you against his chest.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay? And then I’m going to take you to the bed. That's all."

If there’s something you can do to save yourself, you can’t seem to think of it, so you give in and let him put his arms around you. And he does exactly what he says—places you gently in the spot he prepared a moment ago, and then pulls the blankets over you. He moves back a little bit, and stares. The strong, sweet scent of him is all around you now, but you manage to keep your eyes closed and off of him.

“I’ll be right back, I’ll get you some water”

They remain closed until you hear the lock, the door, and then him locking it again from the outside. He won’t be gone long. You’re up and scanning the floor again, trying to remember if you had your phone in your pocket. No…you left it on the bar, right next to your empty glass. The balcony…you have no clue what you expect to find out here, but you go out and look left, and then right. And then 25 stories down. The closet. It's spacious and neat; tshirts, jackets, shoes. The black and white windbreaker he was wearing when you first met him briefly catches your eye, but you close it quietly and head for his bedside table. You heard him slide the drawer open and shut right before he walked out. Maybe there's something in there. “Oh…” The inside of it is neat and organized, just like everything else, so you get to see exactly what’s in there with one quick glance: a small knife, concealed in a black sheath, a few small syringes pre-filled with a milky liquid, handcuffs, nylon rope, a gag…"what the fuck"…lubrication, and several more condoms. “This can’t be happening.” A moment later, the lock clicks again, and without thinking, you grab the knife, quietly close the drawer, and climb back under the covers.

There's a bottle of water under his arm, and a mug in his hand. "I am going to drink some of this so you know I didn't put anything in it…and then I would like you to finish it," He takes a long sip before handing it to you, "The water bottle is unopened, don't worry."

Something is different about him. As soon as you woke up, something felt not quite the same. Even his voice, which was so serious, and a little bit solemn before, seems lighter and higher. You stare into the mug and take a deep breath, smelling the chamomile, the spearmint, and the orange. Seungmin finished nearly half of it.

"I'll take another drink," he holds his hand out for it.

"No…" you sip it very cautiously, and then take a longer drink. The taste and the warmth does help, and you finally take a full, deep breath. Seungmin rounds the bed as you sip, and you watch him carefully. If he opens that drawer again, he'll know you have the knife…and unlucky for you, that's exactly what he does. Maybe he heard you. Maybe he can just read it on you.

But he's quiet as he looks, and his expression doesn't change. He just closes it again and sits at the edge of the bed, naked back facing you. You find yourself admiring him again…his neck, his shoulders…stupid. He slides back and relaxes against the pillows, but he keeps a good distance. The bed is big enough for that.

"You have my knife?"

The way he asks isn't accusing. It isn't threatening. It isn't even rude. He asks as if it's just the next part of the conversation. When you don't answer, you see him nod his head from the corner of your eye.

"If it makes you feel safer, you can hold onto it. If you want to use it, I probably won't try to stop you."

"How long are you going to keep me locked in here?"

"I'm not going to let you go home alone in your state, not this late. You can leave in the morning."

"You're lying"

Seungmin sighs and turns on his side, and he looks at you—you look at him directly for the first time since coming back, but you're both silent. Just like his voice, his gaze is softer, and less intense. It’s also full of confusion, like he doesn’t know what to make of you; as if he’s wondering why you’re in his bed right now. His eyes start to close. At the same time, your eyes grow heavy, and it feels just like before. It feels like you can't possibly win against the sleep, and your thoughts wander as you drift; now you'll die, no more waking up.

The sun coming in through the balcony window warms the room. The light slices the bed right in half, and when you open your eyes, the first thing you see is his sleep tangled body—the legs of his sweatpants are pushed up almost to his knees, and his skin glows in the sunlight. He's sound asleep on his stomach for a few more moments, but then he mumbles something that you can't quite make out. A groan, but it's not a good groan. It isn't until right this second that you remember the situation you somehow ended up in. Locked in with him…whatever he is…a murderer? The drawer screams experience, and that experience screams serial killer, but last night didn't seem like an experienced killer. You suppose not every time can be perfect.

What are you even thinking? You pull the covers away and move to sit up, and it's then that you feel the knife, still tucked safely beneath the pillow. So Seungmin didn't sneak over as you slept to retrieve it, because you assume he actually did put something in your tea—something he himself also drank. Both of you fell asleep together, and now you have to wait for him to wake, and hope he meant what he said a few hours ago. No, you idiot. Where did he put the key? It's probably in the pocket of his sweatpants, so you move closer to him as carefully and as quietly as possible.

He doesn't stir. You stare down at his sleeping face as you slip your fingers into his pocket, and again, you admire him—the lips you never got to kiss, soft and pouty. His cheeks, his nose, all perfect and screaming to be touched. Seungmin must hear your thoughts, because his eyes open to you, and his hand clamps down on your wrist. Ice runs through your veins and your stomach drops, but instead of pulling away and retreating to the other side of the bed, you lean forward and press your lips to his, because…you don't know why. But Seungmin kisses back, and he means it—every nibble and lick, every soft moan coming from deep in his chest. You return the intensity, and something about his kiss feels good, but still…

“Oh…right,” Seungmin licks his lip and keeps his chin high, because he knows exactly how sharp his knife is. It grazes his throat, and your shaking hand doesn’t do much to relax him. “How could I forget?”

“Where’s the key?”

“I told you I’d let you leave, I meant it”

“Give me the key.” Now, of course, you can cry. Tears stream down your cheeks, and your hand shakes even more.

“Okay…okay,” he digs in the pocket you were going for, pulls out a leather keychain, and one gold key hangs from it. “Please don’t cry.”

You snatch it, but keep the knife against him until you’re too far away to reach. He doesn’t get up when you do. He doesn’t move when you grab the clothes you finally find on the floor, try the key, and sigh with relief when it works. It’s possible that he finally moves when the door shuts behind you, but you’re dressed and gone before you have a chance to find out.

ACE OF HEART — SEUNGMIN. CHAPTER 1

⚾️ synopsis: new school year means new beginnings, right? you are a new student at prestigious seido high school with the goal to become the ace of the baseball team and win nationals. but to your surprise, some arrogant asshole kim seungmin is currently in the position of pitcher and ace of the team. how steel are your nerves and how long will it take you to steal his place?

pairing: seungmin x reader(afab) genre: baseball player au!seungmin, enemies to lovers, slow burn warnings: mean seungmin, reader has ego, underage characters, mention of daddy issues, reader has anxiety, A LOT of baseball terminology word count: 4.9k a/n: yall please appreciate my photoshop skills LMAO. i had to turn “11” into “1”, cause seung is the ace

chapter one | next . . . series masterlist . . . terminology

april — the second month of spring, the second month of the season of love. you hated april. not only because everyone around you seemed to find a relationship all of a sudden, but also because it meant the start of the new school year.

it was not an average school, but a prestigious seido high school with its own baseball team. located in tokyo, it was almost impossible to receive an acceptance letter. your screams were heard all over the house, when you opened it on your laptop. it took you an eternity to finish all trials, so you had zero hope by the end of them. but you succeeded. maybe it was just dumb luck, or maybe you were actually good at baseball. you kept telling yourself the latter.

the sound of endless chatter filled the courtyard as students were trying to figure out where to go, meeting possible new friends, and as well as old friends. senpais were giving glares to new girls, what made you want to vomit.

you were there too - standing in the courtyard, an email with instructions opened on your phone. new chapter of your life was about to start.

since you were a member of the baseball team, unlike ordinary students, you were given the opportunity to live in a dormitory. fortunately, the dorm has been divided into female and male part, so you didn’t have to live with nasty boys who won’t clean after themselves. but you’d have meet one of those type of guys on the field for sure. after all, baseball is a male dominated game.

“seido spirit dorm”

it looked more like an apartment complex. as you walked past the sign, you already noticed bats, basket with balls and other equipment. it definitely didn’t look like an ordinary dorm. it thrilled you with excitement, you’ve never felt so normal before. baseball was a passion of yours that no one around you understood. you’ve made it all the way on your own, and this simple scene with some equipment laying on the floor next to the room, made your eyes watery. you couldn’t wait to meet your roommates, teammates and the current ace. you were ready to learn a lot.

despite all the panic that was thrilling inside you, it wasn’t hard to find your room. you stared at the names on the sign.

“sanada rin

fujiwara aoi

l/n y/n”

suddenly, the door opened and two girls appeared in the doorway, welcoming you in.

located on the second floor, your room had a view right on the baseball field. your roommates turned out to be quite nice. two senpais - year two aoi and year three rin.

they quickly introduced you to the team, best players and the system that your coach uses.

the school was so popular, that current amount of players, including first-years, exceeded one hundred. obviously, everyone can’t play on the team, because baseball is an nine player game (not including the benched players). that is why seidou has two team lineups. first one consists of best of the best. while second one is for those, who are good, but not enough. and the rest, who did not make it even to the second lineup, need to work twice harder, to get noticed by the coach.

these were not a good news. you caught yourself getting anxious. but what about the acceptance letter and the trials? you thought that meant a guaranteed spot on the team. your roommates just laughed at your words, saying that with the number of overconfident players these restrictions are the only right option.

time flew, as you talked up until the midnight over a bottle of soju. it was not the smartest decision, considering that tomorrow was the first training and a meeting with the team at 8 in the morning.

of course, you felt drenched, squeezed out like a lemon, when you woke up. for a future baseball player, ace of the team, it was a bad habit of hating to wake up early in the morning. but you’ve decided to leave your thoughts about your future for now. it was time to leave the best first impression, so the coach would notice you in the sea of first years.

the cold morning air was refreshing. you shuddered as you tried to cover yourself in clothes more. the grass was still covered with dew drops and the sun has just begun to rise. despite your new friends in the faces of your roommates, you tried to stay apart and not stick to any people on the first day. you weren’t here to make friends, you were here to play baseball. and you wouldn’t let absolutely no one to distract you from the sport that you loved so much or your goals of going to nationals.

everyone was asked to line up, and the newcomers in the front row were told to take turns telling their name and the position they would like to play in.

oh you didn't like that. it felt like the coach hadn't even read the profiles of his students, since he was asking for everyone's names and dream positions.

finally your turn.

“watashiwa l/n y/n des! i want to play as a pitcher and my dream is to become an ace of the team! i have years of experience and a lot of potential. i am ready to show all my skills! thank you!” you finished your speech with a bow.

there were chuckes in the back.

“alright. thank you for your honesty, l/n y/n! let’s hope you will show your passion on the field as well.” coach replied coldly, crossing his arms.

if you had daddy issues, you'd start soaking over him, just like your roommates. he was definitely in his forties, but he was quite thin and tall, with a layer of trimmed beard and dark glasses on his nose.

did you say something wrong? the coach looked like he was unhappy about something. and those chuckles from behind hurt your ego a little.

after the roll call, you were approached by a group of guys who looked at least a year older. at the center of this not-friendly looking gang was a guy, apparently the leader and the ace, judging by the way how confident he looked, and of course the number 1 emblazoned on his chest.

“so you’re the kohai, right? aiming at ace position? how cute.” he grinned cockily, scanning you from top to bottom. “i bet you can only throw a fastball. am i right?”

“i don’t even know you.” you snapped back, turning around and getting ready to leave. you were already irritated because of failed introduction.

“i am your senpai, so i’d like to have your full respect.” he folded his arms across his chest, stretching out to his full height to show his dominance even more.

that made you look at him again. right, senpai. why do boys always keep using this as an excuse for their rudeness?

“i am kim seungmin, by the way. current ace of the team.” he turned around and pointed at his number on the back, as if you haven’t noticed it already on the front of the uniform. “i am just a second year, but I became an ace after two months on the team.” he squared his shoulders, braving himself even more.

you were about to reply with something like “so what? i will beat your so-called record, you won’t even have time to react.”, but you couldn’t. because he was your senpai.

“right. that’s what i was talking about. respect your senpais.” he smirked, patting you on the shoulder. you shrugged off his hand, making him let out a small laugh. “okay, we will see you around, i guess.”

not being able to say anything back you just stared at him, hoping that you would be able to burn a hole inside the number 1 on his back.

ugh.

and you hoped that you would be able to learn something from the current ace and even form some bond. maybe you shouldn’t have brought your goal up. but you wanted to show your coach that you were up to a good fight for a place on the team. you didn’t want to stay on the bench for the next three years, like your roommates. you were passionate and hardworking - that’s what led you in this high school after-all.

the training has started pretty light. after a warm-up and a few laps around the field, you were divided by positions. all fielders went to the field to practice and try assigned positions; first and second lineup players went to the pitching machines; the match of the season was already approaching, meaning that both lineups needed to be ready; and all the pitchers were gathered together with the second-year catchers in the bullpen. coach and his assistant were standing in the distance, planning on watching the new pitchers from afar. the main responsibility in spotting new talent among the newcomers laid on the team captain and current pitchers.

as you have already understood from the conversations, the team was short of pitchers right now. three other pitchers were third-years and will leave the team in half a year due to exams and graduation. of course, there was also kim seungmin who held the ace position, but no matter how talented he was, he physically could not pitch the entire match solo. the team needed a starting pitcher. the one who can open the match, confuse the batters with some unique pitching. this was your chance.

senpais looked scary. four pitchers, including kim seungmin, were giving everyone frightening glares, as if first-years were about to steal their spots right now. catchers on the other hand, did not care much about the upcoming rivalry. but they looked intimidating regardless, because of their layers of protection and masked helmets.

you uncontrollably shanked under the condemning gazes and you haven’t even shown anything yet. the atmosphere was tense and far from team spirit. the amount of rivalry within the team was shocking to you.

around three or four pitchers got assigned to each catcher. and god, you were sure that your catcher was the guy you saw next to that cocky kim. senpai kim.

the first-year pitches have begun. you watched everyone with interest, feeling like you were part of kim seungmin's gang.

first-years were really good. they had good ball control and different pitching types. you managed to notice a couple of cutters, of course a lot of fastballs, some were so fast that you only had time to flinch at the sound of gloves, sliders and even one changeup. and with such monsters you had to compete for the place on the team?

standing in line, you managed to get anxious and started overthinking. so when it was your turn, you could barely move your legs to get closer.

your fingers nervously clutched the ball in your hand. inhale and exhale.

out of the corner of your eye, you noticed kim seungmin grinning, his arms crossed over his chest. his gaze was burning a hole in you.

you decided to start with regular fastball, so as not to screw up completely at the first pitch. the key was throw the ball with speed and accuracy. pretty simple, you have done it plenty of time before.

“throw when you're ready, but don't delay it, there's a whole queue behind you.” catcher said. how thoughtful and generous of him. you shot a wry smile.

to relieve the tension you tossed the ball in your hand a couple of times. the anxiety finally got replaced with excitement. time to play.

you sensed the familiar feeling of the ball rolling off the middle and index fingers, creating a backspin.

it went right into the catchers glove with a loud slap. perfect accuracy. feeling the confidence again, you relaxed a bit, shaking off tension in the muscles.

it sounded quiet, but you still heard the arrogant. "i told you she only throws fastballs."

it took all your force not to look at him. can this kim “i am the ace” seungmin shut the fuck up?

feeling the need to show off and shut him up with your perfect pitching, you decided to throw a slider. you placed your middle finger directly on a seam, while the index finger went on the leather. both fingers were important at release to impart the necessary spin that would lead to a slider’s desired movement.

it’s a quite difficult pitch to learn and you still weren’t confident in it. the problem was that it’s not as straightforward as the fastball, and takes a lot more patience and a good coach to learn it. you probably should have chosen to throw another fastball to show off your accuracy and speed, but the desire to shut kim seungmin up was stronger.

getting into the stance, you lifted your left knee in the air, transferring the weight from the back leg to the front leg, generating force and velocity in the throw. as soon as you felt the ball leaving your hand you felt like it’s gonna turn out bad. you heart sank.

slider should be thrown as hard as possible, because of the speed change in the end. depending on your success, the pitch should move towards cather’s glove and drop during the last few feet. but something went wrong. maybe you didn’t throw it with enough force, maybe you messed up with the grip or maybe you were just nervous? the ball just flew to the right, not even in the strike zone, falling awkwardly next to the catcher. silence.

and then there were few giggles behind you. you felt your ears turning red. how did you fuck this up so badly?

you really couldn’t focus on your pitching. the feeling of his eyes burning holes in you was so distracting. you were holding yourself from turning right at him and yelling what’s been on your mind since morning.

“i am waiting.” catchers voice brought you back to reality. he was still holding a glove open, waiting for the ball, eyes looking at you, scolding through the mask.

you took a deep breath again, trying to collect your thoughts. alright, it’s just a simple pitch. forget about others and focus on your goal. your journey has already started, stop slacking off.

deep breath and you’ve got into position again, bringing your hands together. then, a quick kick of the leg and the ball flew out of your hand.

STRIKE!

with a loud slap the ball finally landed right into the glove, cutting the air.

you were so stressed, you didn’t notice you held your breath this whole time.

it was perfect. the speed, the fall in the end, the accuracy. it was…

“next!” catcher interrupted your thoughts.

he didn’t even leave any comments on your pitching. of course, he was a second or third-year already. probably, he didn’t give two shits about a new girl.

the corner of your eye caught a sight of kim seungmin again. your eyes met. he was still looking at you, even though you had already stopped pitching. did you make him nervous with your secret weapon? well, kim “i am the ace” seungmin, get ready to fight for your place.

you gave him a wink, getting an eye roll in response. it made you laugh a little. the displeased look on his face was a balm to the soul.

the training was over. the coach and his assistant said that in the evening they will announce the first-years who will become a trainee for the first and second lineups. it was time for lunch, and then your first school day was about to properly begin.

the schedule was cruel indeed. trainings were assigned in the morning and evening in combination with regular classes at school. baseball players had a special schedule - you had to attend classes in the afternoon. but even with the special arrangement of classes, you had no idea how you’d be able to survive like that. no wonder every player on the team has been rude as hell so far if they have no time to relax. what sacrifices do people make to become a professional player. and the graduates of seido high school were guaranteed a future career.

the dorm had its own canteen, which the baseball team could use for free. after taking a shower, you headed straight there with your roommates.

“i saw your pitching, it was good.” rin patted you on the shoulder.

the three of you were sitting at a table in the corner of the room. it was actually even better that you sat aside, because there was such a ruckus in the canteen. the guys were discussing something at the top of their voices, not holding back in their expressions. many of them didn't even bother to take a shower before lunch. it made you wonder once again why you didn't choose some kind of girls-only school.

“thank you!” you smiled. “actually, i panicked a bit because of the taunts and messed up. i wonder if it will affect coach’s decision.”

“taunts?” aoi asked curiously. “who’s bothering you already?”

“kim seungmin.” you sighed.

aoi and rin couldn’t hold their laughs. “okay. you don’t need to explain any further.”

you smiled as well. “has he always been… like this?”

“hmm…” rin thought for a second. “i was a second-year when he joined. at first i thought he was a nice guy. in fact, he was very shy, and then something changed in his attitude. but he managed to improve his pitching in a short period of time, which, frankly, is impressive. and then he became an ace, which was not surprising, because none of the pitchers we had could beat him.”

a shy guy who turned into an asshole. what happened to you one year ago, kim seungmin?

lunch was over. you said goodbye to rin and aoi and went to classes. to be honest, you could not care less about paying attention, especially when the biggest announcement of your life was about to happen in a few hours. whole time during classes you spent thinking about it. was your pitching good enough to impress the coach? will he count your failed attempt? will kim seungmin somehow sabotage your candidacy? you were fidgeting in the chair like crazy.

it probably looked funny how quickly you stormed out of the classroom. five minutes before the start, you were already standing on the field dressed in a uniform again. you were exhausted, almost falling asleep, but excited to hear the announcement.

as soon as the whole team was gathered and the coach arrived with his assistant, the speech began.

“good evening, everyone. i hope you worked your hardest in classes today, because as i remind you, your academic performance will affect your ability to attend trainings. anyway, with the help of my assistant, our team captain and our pitchers, we have complied a list of five player who will be accepted as trainees in the first and second lineups.” the coach’s voice echoed loudly across the field. “so. the first player who showed themselves at today’s training was-“

your breath hitched. honestly, you’ve never stressed so much in one day. this school will be the death of you.

loud clapping brought you back to reality. you looked around, hoping that your name got called. but no. some random guy walked out of the crowd, bowed and stood next to the coach. of course. and your naive ass thought you had a chance, especially after that failed slider.

everything repeated until only one place was left vacant. you’ve lost all hope, because every player that got chosen made an impression even on you. and you rarely acknowledged other pitchers.

“and the last candidate,” coach frowned. “had a really controversial reputation after just one day. but after some passionate discussion with my colleagues,” coach gave someone the look in the crowd. “i decided to change my mind and gave this person a chance.”

your heart skipped a beat.

“please welcome our last trainee, who has shown great potential and a good slider-“

no way.

“l/n y/n!”

you eyes widened. despite the fact that you hoped to get accepted, you were still surprised to hear your name.

still feeling like you were in a dream, you walked out of the crowd and headed forward under dozens of stares from your teammates. you bet that kim seungmin was the first one to burn a hole in you.

the coach gave you a slight nod and gestured to get in line. you saw two warm smiles in the crowd. aoi and rin. for a second, you felt bad. they had both been on the team for so long, but the chances of them being on one of the lineups were so little. and you doubled their chances in one day.

the coach said a few more encouraging words and let his assistant to step in. batteries were about to be announced. each pitcher was going to be judged not only based on individual skills, but also on the ability to work in a battery.

and here you were - anxious again. you didn’t disagree with coach on this, but still. your chances of getting an actual spot depended on your catcher. what if he is an asshole? what if he-

“takigawa aki and l/n y/n!”

you looked around, searching for someone to approach you.

oh, hell no.

it could have been anyone. anyone on the team, there were plenty of good catchers. but no. it was him, the guy who catched your piches in the morning. the friend of “i am the ace”. without protection, he looked much thinner, but still tall and intimidating. you saw dark brown hair and glasses, that you hadn’t noticed before. to be honest, you recognized him by his scolding eyes. he would actually be quite cute if he wasn’t kim seungmin’s friend.

“just call me aki. i don’t wanna see your grimace every time you’ll address me as senpai.” was the first thing he said when he approached you.

you chuckled. aki was straightforward indeed.

it was honestly impressive how you managed to create such a reputation on the first day.

“i have a question.”

“what is it?”

“are you friends with kim senpai?” you highlighted the last word, making aki chuckle. “cause i think i saw you next to him in the morning.”

“yes, you are right.” he admitted. “he is a good friend of mine, but i don’t really agree with how he treated you on your first day. gladly, you managed to get a spot as a trainee.”

aki seemed to be better than you predicted. maybe you really should stop overthinking.

“listen…” he cleared his throat. “wanna go practice a bit after we’re done? i know it’s your first day, but it’s better to start soon, so you’ll have an advantage. your slider was good, i think you just need more practice and a good coaching.”

“you think so?” you repeated shockingly.

aki nodded. “you are being too harsh on yourself. you are just a first-year, you aren’t supposed to know every pitch and be good at it. so… are you down or no?”

“count me in.” you smiled.

evening training was light. the coach was not so harsh on you on the first day. instead of pitching, you worked on your batting. it was the first time you used a pitching machine and you were terrified the whole time.

after the end of the training session, you waited for aki, and the two of you headed to the gym inside, because it was already getting dark and cold. your muscles felt so stiff. why did you agree to this again?

aki turned out to be a great coach. he explained you the basic of pitching in a way you’ve never heard anyone explain before. then he pointed out the mistake you made in the morning and why your slider failed. it was exhausting to throw over a hundred more pitches, but aki said it was a good start for your stamina training. as a pitcher, you had to be ready to throw that ball at least a hundred times per match, while standing under the burning sun.

even if you were dying when you finished, you still felt motivated. after all, it was your first day and you’ve already made so much progress.

on dying legs you made it to your room. the clock showed 11 in the evening. only having enough energy to walk to your bed, you laid on it and immediately fell asleep without even changing your clothes.

you overslept. fuck. you overslept on your second day and the first day as a trainee. yesterday’s workout really took its toll on you. the evidence of this were your sore muscles. and you still had to take a shower… gosh! you were a mess.

that’s how you ended up hiding behind a wall, thinking about the ways out of this situation. the coach was giving an introduction speech to the trainees and checking on older players in his usual strict manner. you couldn’t just walk out in this atmosphere. what could you even do?

“shit! they’ve already started.” sudden voice came behind you, making you squeal.

you turned around and faced the man himself. kim “i am the ace” seungmin was standing face to face next to you, as frightened as you were. what a surprise. never though you’d see the golden boy like this.

his voice was low, face swollen and eyes half-sleepy. he was still yawning, as if he just rolled out of bed and came here first thing.

“what are you doing here?” you raised an eyebrow. “aren’t you the ace? the best on the team?”

“shut up.” he leaned against the wall, still hiding from the sight of others. “it’s none of your business. i just fell asleep really late.”

“ah, right.” you rolled your eyes.

so now you were stuck in this position with him out of all people. great.

“anyway, why are you here?”

“what do you mean why? i am a new trainee, weren’t you at the training yesterday?” you gave him an evil look. this guy.

“ah yes, i already forgot.” a cocky smile slowly morphed onto his features. “wow. so you are late on your first day as a trainee? you have a big attitude wherever you go, huh?”

“you fu-“

“shh!” he put his hand on your mouth to muffle your approaching yell. “be quiet! they will catch us!”

you slapped his hand, making him to take it away from your mouth.

“i don’t wanna hear your notations, especially, when you are in the same position as me right now.” you clicked your tongue, turning away from him.

“well, our head coach is extremely strict about being punctual, and you’ve just got selected as a trainee. i don’t think we are in the same position, darling. you’d better listen to the discussion of your candidacy that happened in the office yesterday. and now you are about to show up late. worst case scenario, he will find a replacement for you and forget your name forever.” kim seungmin gave you the cockiest smike.

that’s bad. very bad. the wave of anxiety hit you again.

“should i just go there and beg for forgiveness on my knees? i think he will understand.”

“no, just calm down. a tardy is a tardy, even if you apologize. it won’t make your sentence lighter.” he shook his head. “however… what if you sneak into the line without anyone noticing?”

you looked at him suspiciously. what is this guy on?

“look here.” he gestured you to sit down next to him and you both cautiously peeked out from behind the wall. “take a good look at how they’re lined up. coach is talking to every player directly from far end to the close end. once the first row is done, it goes back to the far end of the second row. while the farthest guy is answering coach’s questions, everyone will be looking at him.”

“i still can’t believe i’ll be able to sneak in like that.” you whispered.

“take that chance and run quickly. you’ve got it.” he assured, looking right at you.

“what about you though?”

“i will be right behind you.” he patted you on the shoulder.

“are you sure? wouldn’t we be in bigger trouble if we fail?” you still weren’t convinced enough by his plan.

“don’t worry.” he grinned. “i did the same last year.”

“you’ve done it before?!” you almost yelled in surprise, but quickly lowered your tone.

“just trust me.” he said.

with that he talked you into it. you scooted a bit to the left, getting ready to run as soon as the attention would be on the guy in the second row.

“watch closely. we have one chance.” the ace gave you a thumbs up.

“alright, next is…”

you saw the coach turn his head in the opposite direction.

“c’mon!” kim seungmin almost shouted, signalizing you to go.

holding your breath, you crouched down and started running. the plan was working perfectly, you thought. the coach did not even pay attention to what was happening behind his back. a few more steps and…

“AAAAA! she came late and is trying to sneak into the line!”

you froze in disbelief. kim fucking seungmin was screaming behind you like some kind of alarm system. everyone, including the coach, turned around and looked right at you.

if you don’t get kicked off the team right now, you definitely going to beat his ass.

a/n (2): i’d really really really appreciate your feedback! i want to know what you think about this chapter. and please reblog, because likes do nothing to promote the post!

i wanted to leave this chapter as an introduction to the school, side characters and “y/n”, because i don’t wanna leave that unexplained. i promise that next chapter will have more interactions with seungmin!!

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