HELP THIS IS SO STUPID This Is Based On A Post By @wobblesthecowgirl And I Just HAD To Put It Into The

HELP THIS IS SO STUPID 😭 this is based on a post by @wobblesthecowgirl and I just HAD to put it into the universe. [click for clearer image]

Though, canonically, I don’t think Javier would damage his guitar while rat hunting but it’s still funny nonetheless.

Not even joking, I hit my head super hard in gym today, and now I’m thinking about using my familial friends as pawn pieces in my big game of chess.

Anyways, heard Tahiti is nice this time of year..

More Vandermatthews modern AU headcannons!

(Since y’all liked the last one)

Here you go @soullessni 🫶

Hosea is/was VERY good at skating (both roller and ice) and taught Dutch how to skate (that’s primarily what they did on dates)

Hosea LOVES ABBA. Dutch sometimes plays it on their speakers and Hosea can’t resist a dance because it’s ABBA. (Their favorites are Take a Chance on Me, or Why’d It Have to be Me?)

Hosea’s best era was the 70s and Dutch’s was the 80s.

Branching off of that; Hosea totally sported a short sleeved button up tucked into flared pants with white GoGo boots. Meanwhile Dutch totally had a mullet and mustache combo in the 80s. (He misses it) (yes this is in reference of what he canonically looks like in rdr2, I think what he currently looks like is similar to rdr1 Dutch)

Some of their dates back in the day consisted of:

Skating dates

Disco dates

Sight seeing

Bicycling/hiking

Museums

Dates they do nowadays (when they have time) :

Museums (still)

Going out to dinner (a classic)

Drag shows

Staying home with a movie/show

Karaoke bars (with friends too)

They met through Susan in 1979 (Dutch was 22 and Hosea was 33) (they did not expect to fall in love with each other)

Dutch asked Hosea out everyday until he finally said yes

They always used to have hour long conversations which was VERY expensive, and Dutch’s line would PILE UP with everyone trying to reach him.

Hosea is a white wine drinker and Dutch is a red wine drinker

Gazing longingly to each other is their love language. (Whether that is across the room/table/street you decide)

Their actual love languages are:

Hosea- Quality time, physical touch (especially receiving), acts of service

Dutch- WORDS OF AFFIRMATION (especially receiving) , physical touch, gift giving

Dutch used to idly twirl the phone cord while talking to Hosea (tell me he didn’t..)

Dutch only drinks coffee, but Hosea loves both coffee and tea equally

Dutch can’t cook but he has PERFECTED the way Hosea makes his coffee

They often visit each other’s lecture rooms/classrooms at work

Dutch delivered Hosea flowers to his house everyday while they were dating, and nowadays Dutch buys him some still every so often (Hosea would always play it cool around Dutch when brought up, but he was always giddy to see a new bouquet everyday on his doorstep)

Branching off that; Dutch would leave him little poetic lines clipped to the flower baskets. (Hosea saved them all no matter how grammatically incorrect they could be sometimes) (he’s a stickler for punctuation)

Nowadays when Hosea says: “hmm?” Dutch over annunciates what he just said to make fun of his old age (receiving an eye roll from Hosea) (could also apply to the cannon timeline)

The types of conversations they have belong on a podcast (neither of them know how to/want to run one, but they’re hysterical nevertheless)

They both gossip about everything that’s happening in the gang. No one can possibly gossip more than they do

John goin and breaking the peace again..

(Arthur 26, John 16. July, 1889.)

I imagine Arthur rips him a new one whenever he catches him.

My headcannon is that John breaks the peace and Arthur gives him a piece of his mind. (Classic brother relationship)

Modern Au, Van Der Matthews headcannons !

(Happy HFF) :

Dutch + Hosea met at a college party through Susan

Dutch is a Philosophy professor and Hosea is an English professor at the same university

Both proposed at the same time, laughed, and Dutch accepted Hosea’s first. (You know the trope)

Adopted Arthur when he was 8, and then 2 years later decided they needed another one, so adopted John when he was a baby.

Dutch cannot cook for the life of him (1st reason they hired Pearson) but still tries to make Hosea breakfast in bed for his birthday/Father’s day. (He means well)

Hosea reads before bed, and pets Dutch’s hair/rubs his back. (It KNOCKS Dutch out)

John/Arthur addresses Dutch as “dad” and Hosea as “pa”

Hosea cannot physically sleep without white noise, which he ended up passing onto Dutch when they got married.

Dutch separated the physical fights, (between Arthur and John) Hosea separated the verbal fights.

Dutch/Hosea will give the other the silent treatment if they find out they continued watching a show without the other.

Have Arthur and John’s graduation photos out on display, (much to John’s dismay) and both are very different vibes (Arthur has a great smile and John was in his emo phase)

Dutch bought Hosea a Keurig one day after a bad argument. He was immediately forgiven.

Love their sons to BITS I tell you. Both have hoarded all pictures they’ve drawn throughout childhood, and they are stored in their own labeled boxes.

They FREAKED OUT whenever they discovered they were gonna be grandparents.

Cain is their dog. (Hosea bought him for Dutch one year on Christmas)

Dutch talks to his sons through texting: “Thinking of you 😘👍💗” and Hosea prefers phone calls.

Hosea has a green thumb, Dutch does NOT. (He’s killed a few plants while Hosea was away on business trips) (Hosea killed him)

Dutch is a: “Go ask your Pa.” Kinda dad.

Hosea is an “Elbows off the table” kind of dad.

Hosea assembles the Birthday/Christmas wishlists, Dutch goes and finds everything

POV you’re reading a fic and the whole gang shows up ‼️🙂‍↕️